View Full Version : A Honeymooners Easter:


Frank Gannucci
04-17-2025, 07:08 AM
A Honeymooners Easter:

(Ralph & Ed are at a costume store.)

Ralph: “This is the costume that I’m gonna wear at the Raccoon Lodge Easter Play. I’m gonna be the Easter Bunny.”

Ed: “Oh. I didn’t know they make costumes in XXXXXXXL.”

Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Norton. A real riot. Alice thinks that I should lose weight because the script requires me to go down a hole. I’ll show her.”

Ed: “You always do. You always prove her right.”

(Ralph is getting more upset.)

Ralph: “I’ll show you too. I’ll be the star of the play.”

(They get the costumes and on the night of the play, they arrive at the Raccoon Lodge for the play.)

(The girls are in the crowd which is the same crowd as the people attending the Jackie Gleason Show in Miami Beach.)

Alice (to Trixie): “I told Ralph that he needed to lose weight for this play but he didn’t listen.”

Trixie: “Sonetimes the best answer for him is to stand back and watch him fall.”

(They laugh.)

(Ralph as the Easter Bunny tries to go up his hole in the ground but he gets stuck.)

Ralph: “I’m stuck.”

(Crowd laughs.)

Ed: “All right everyone. Let’s pull him out.”

(They grab him by the arms.)

Ed (yells): “EVERYONE HEAVE HO!”

(They pull him out but to no avail.)

Ralph (yells): “WAIT A MINUTE. YOU ARE BREAKING MY ARMS.”

Ed: “This may be a case of where the spirit is willing but the flesh is just too much.”

(Crowd laughs.)

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”

Ed: “We got more ho than we needed. I’ll get sonething.”

(He does and gets olive oil and pours it all over Ralph.)

Ralph (yells): “WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?”

Ed: “Olive oil is gonna help you get out just like the two times you got stuck in a car.”

(Ralph is able to get out and wants to fight Ed. The cast and crew separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach Easters are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”