Frank Gannucci
04-12-2025, 07:14 AM
An I Love Lucy Income Tax Day:
(Ricky is talking to Lucy.)
Ricky: “Now Lucy, I need you to send these taxes done to the IRS by the end of the day. Why didn’t you take them to the IRS yesterday?”
Lucy: “I didn’t feel like it. Besides we got until 11:59p tonight.”
Ricky: “Lucy, what did I tell you about procrastinating? Putting things off until the last minute.”
Lucy: “Well, I had to binge watch my shows yesterday.”
Ricky: “Ai! Yi! Yi! Just do it by tonight. I can’t wait to see the look on the IRS face when he finds out how many times you were overdrawn at the bank. Oy! I’m going to the Club for my show tonight. See ya!”
(Ricky leaves.)
(Later on, at 8p Lucy is scrambling. Ethel comes in.)
Ethel: “Hey Lucy!”
Lucy: “Don’t get panicky Ethel. I have to go down to the IRS right now to deposit our taxes.”
Ethel: “Lucy.”
Lucy: “I didn’t feel like doing it earlier. Come on. You can keep me company.”
(They leave. They go on the subway.)
Lucy: “It’s so packed here. I feel like sardines in a sardine can. They are better off since they got all that oil to wiggle around in.”
(The subway stops.)
Man (on P.A.): “Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have to stop here for at least a few hours. We will let everyone out.”
Lucy: “Ethel, get panicky. The only way to get there fast is by going through the sewer.”
Ethel: “Lucy!”
Lucy: “Well…”
(They go through the sewer and when they emerge from the sewer at the IRS building, they are soaked.)
Ethel: “Lucy, it’s 12a on April 16th.”
(Lucy cries.)
Lucy: “I don’t wanna go to jail.”
(The husbands arrive.)
Ricky: “Hi girls! What’s the matter?”
Lucy: “I didn’t get the taxes sent.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “What’s so funny?”
Ethel: “Yes. What’s so funny?”
Ricky: “I already sent our taxes to the IRS.”
Lucy: “Then why did you um…”
Ricky: “To teach you a lesson. I made photocopies of our taxes and gave them to you.”
Fred: “A good thing that you did. If I had Ethel send our taxes, I would be lucky if they got to the IRS by XMas.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “Let’s go home.”
(They do.)
(Ricky is talking to Lucy.)
Ricky: “Now Lucy, I need you to send these taxes done to the IRS by the end of the day. Why didn’t you take them to the IRS yesterday?”
Lucy: “I didn’t feel like it. Besides we got until 11:59p tonight.”
Ricky: “Lucy, what did I tell you about procrastinating? Putting things off until the last minute.”
Lucy: “Well, I had to binge watch my shows yesterday.”
Ricky: “Ai! Yi! Yi! Just do it by tonight. I can’t wait to see the look on the IRS face when he finds out how many times you were overdrawn at the bank. Oy! I’m going to the Club for my show tonight. See ya!”
(Ricky leaves.)
(Later on, at 8p Lucy is scrambling. Ethel comes in.)
Ethel: “Hey Lucy!”
Lucy: “Don’t get panicky Ethel. I have to go down to the IRS right now to deposit our taxes.”
Ethel: “Lucy.”
Lucy: “I didn’t feel like doing it earlier. Come on. You can keep me company.”
(They leave. They go on the subway.)
Lucy: “It’s so packed here. I feel like sardines in a sardine can. They are better off since they got all that oil to wiggle around in.”
(The subway stops.)
Man (on P.A.): “Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have to stop here for at least a few hours. We will let everyone out.”
Lucy: “Ethel, get panicky. The only way to get there fast is by going through the sewer.”
Ethel: “Lucy!”
Lucy: “Well…”
(They go through the sewer and when they emerge from the sewer at the IRS building, they are soaked.)
Ethel: “Lucy, it’s 12a on April 16th.”
(Lucy cries.)
Lucy: “I don’t wanna go to jail.”
(The husbands arrive.)
Ricky: “Hi girls! What’s the matter?”
Lucy: “I didn’t get the taxes sent.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “What’s so funny?”
Ethel: “Yes. What’s so funny?”
Ricky: “I already sent our taxes to the IRS.”
Lucy: “Then why did you um…”
Ricky: “To teach you a lesson. I made photocopies of our taxes and gave them to you.”
Fred: “A good thing that you did. If I had Ethel send our taxes, I would be lucky if they got to the IRS by XMas.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “Let’s go home.”
(They do.)