Frank Gannucci
03-14-2025, 06:31 AM
An I Love Lucy St. Patty’s Day:
(Lucy is trying to talk Ricky into appearing at the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League float on the St. Patty’s Day Parade.)
Ricky: “Nothin’ doin’ Lucy.”
Lucy: “Oh Ricky, why not?”
Ricky: “Lucy, I toll you many times. I am not goin’ to perform for free on the Wednesday Afternoon FANG & CLAW society float on the St. Patty’s Day parade.”
Lucy: “You didn’t TOLL me.”
(The Mertzes walk in. They are dressed in green for the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League show on the float. Fred is wearing a kilt. Ricky looks at Fred.)
Ricky: “Fred, you mean to toll me that you were talked into this?”
Fred: “Reluctantly yes.”
Ethel: “Ricky, are you appearing?”
Ricky: “No…and not one word. I have to go to rehearsal. See you all.”
(Ricky leaves.)
Lucy: “We will perform our own show. I will convince the rest of the league. I know the song: ‘When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.’”
(They talk it over. At the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League, they perform the song very badly.)
Ethel: “That song never sounded like that before.”
Fred: “I’ll say.”
Lucy: “It’s the night before the show. I know. Let’s all have a drink of some beer so we can concentrate.”
(They do. After more and more beer and rehearsing , they finally are on the float. They are now drunk. Ricky is watching in the criwd. Lucy gets on the microphone.)
Lucy (drunkenly yells): “GEE YOU ALL ARE AWFULLLLY NICE. WELL, HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S DAY! WE ARE PERFORMING IRISH EYES ARRRRRRRRE SMILLING!”
(Because of their drunkenness, they perform the worst they ever did. Lucy motions that she will drop her pants. Ricky rushes in stage alongside security. Lucy falls asleep. So do the Mertzes. They wake up on the train home with Ricky.)
Ricky: “Take a look at what you all did. It’s on Facebook.”
(They look at it.)
Ricky: “Well?”
Lucy: “Happy St. Patty’s Day dear.”
Conductor: “This stop is Red hook section of Brooklyn.”
Lucy (nervously): “This is my stop.”
(Lucy tries to leave but Ricky stops her.)
(The end.)
(Lucy is trying to talk Ricky into appearing at the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League float on the St. Patty’s Day Parade.)
Ricky: “Nothin’ doin’ Lucy.”
Lucy: “Oh Ricky, why not?”
Ricky: “Lucy, I toll you many times. I am not goin’ to perform for free on the Wednesday Afternoon FANG & CLAW society float on the St. Patty’s Day parade.”
Lucy: “You didn’t TOLL me.”
(The Mertzes walk in. They are dressed in green for the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League show on the float. Fred is wearing a kilt. Ricky looks at Fred.)
Ricky: “Fred, you mean to toll me that you were talked into this?”
Fred: “Reluctantly yes.”
Ethel: “Ricky, are you appearing?”
Ricky: “No…and not one word. I have to go to rehearsal. See you all.”
(Ricky leaves.)
Lucy: “We will perform our own show. I will convince the rest of the league. I know the song: ‘When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.’”
(They talk it over. At the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League, they perform the song very badly.)
Ethel: “That song never sounded like that before.”
Fred: “I’ll say.”
Lucy: “It’s the night before the show. I know. Let’s all have a drink of some beer so we can concentrate.”
(They do. After more and more beer and rehearsing , they finally are on the float. They are now drunk. Ricky is watching in the criwd. Lucy gets on the microphone.)
Lucy (drunkenly yells): “GEE YOU ALL ARE AWFULLLLY NICE. WELL, HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S DAY! WE ARE PERFORMING IRISH EYES ARRRRRRRRE SMILLING!”
(Because of their drunkenness, they perform the worst they ever did. Lucy motions that she will drop her pants. Ricky rushes in stage alongside security. Lucy falls asleep. So do the Mertzes. They wake up on the train home with Ricky.)
Ricky: “Take a look at what you all did. It’s on Facebook.”
(They look at it.)
Ricky: “Well?”
Lucy: “Happy St. Patty’s Day dear.”
Conductor: “This stop is Red hook section of Brooklyn.”
Lucy (nervously): “This is my stop.”
(Lucy tries to leave but Ricky stops her.)
(The end.)