Hey LITB fans,

Along with Chopper, Andy Hadlock and Wayne “The Mustachioed Fop” Gregory, one of LITB’s most memorable guest characters was the alluring and mysterious Marlene Holmes.

I’m sure we all remember when, like Michael Corleone, who was immediately smitten by the beautiful Sicilian girl, Apollonia, Wally Cleaver was also struck by the thunderbolt, when the All-American student/athlete first saw Marlene Holmes sitting there, at the box office window of the Mayfield Cinema.

Egged on by his good buddy, Eddie Haskell, Wally summoned up the courage to ask the comely Ms. Holmes out on a date and was delighted when Marlene accepted his dinner invitation with the the entire Cleaver family. Sadly, things just did not work out romantically between a callow fellow like Wally Cleaver and a beautiful young and experienced girl, whom Gilbert Bates (of all people!!!) accurately characterized as being a “woman of the world.”

Yet, I’ve often wondered what happened to Marlene later in life? Did she keep working at the Mayfield Cinema? Did Marlene really study interior decorating at night school and begin a career in that exciting and challenging field? Or, did Marlene continue to frequent skeezy dives, like the gin mill Marlene brought the underaged and oh-so-obviously sexually-naive Wally to on their first and only date?

I hope Marlene did eventually stop frequenting such disreputable establishments as that bar and associating with the apparent guttersnipes of Mayfield in those terrible gin joints. Although, I suspect that Marlene did nothing to live down her reputation as “The Messalina of Mayfield,” and her wanton lifestyle ended tragically as Marlene ultimately met with a violent death, the victim of an unsolved homicide and the subject of a compelling crime investigation on NBC’s Dateline.

Yes, with Josh Mankiewicz, Dateline’s indefatigable investigative reporter, detailing both the tragic life and grim circumstances of Marlene’s death, we gain an insight into a beautiful, young woman, who regrettably made the wrong choices early in life.

What if Marlene had continued to date and eventually marry a fine young man like Wally Cleaver, Eddie Haskell, Clarence “Lumpy” Rutherford or even aspiring pianist Dudley McMillan, would Marlene have led a much happier and fulfilling life? Sadly, we will never know the answer to that poignant question.

Requiem aeternam, Ms. Holmes.

Hank's Place--the underbelly of Mayfield. Beaver tells June and Ward he and Gilbert saw Marlene in there. Not a peep from them, like, what were the two of you doing in that area? Ward was taken in by Marlene's act--but not June. But Beaver's warning is too late--Marlene already has Wally in her clutches.

Too late to save Wally from a brief appearance at Hank's. A few minutes earlier, Wally had already figured out, this isn't Julie Foster or Mary Ellen Rogers.

They both pretty simultaneously figured out, this was not going to work. As Wally leaves, Marlene asks Hank to spin a new record. And Wally heads back to his world.

Hank's Place--the underbelly of Mayfield. Beaver tells June and Ward he and Gilbert saw Marlene in there. Not a peep from them, like, what were the two of you doing in that area? Ward was taken in by Marlene's act--but not June. But Beaver's warning is too late--Marlene already has Wally in her clutches.

Too late to save Wally from a brief appearance at Hank's. A few minutes earlier, Wally had already figured out, this isn't Julie Foster or Mary Ellen Rogers.

They both pretty simultaneously figured out, this was not going to work. As Wally leaves, Marlene asks Hank to spin a new record. And Wally heads back to his world.

Ah, Hank’s Place! I forgot the name of one of, no doubt, Mayfield’s favorite watering holes. Thank you!

Do you think that Fred Rutherford would drag a very reluctant Ward Cleaver to Hank’s Place after work on a Friday afternoon to celebrate the end of the work week? And, IF Ward did agree (against his better judgment) to accompany Fred to Hank’s Place, would Ward have just ordered a glass of ice cold milk, much to Fred’s great annoyance and embarrassment?

And, although we never saw “Beaver Cleaver: The Mayfield High School Years,” I wonder if Mayfield High School freshmen Beaver, Richard and Gilbert ever tried
to order tap beer at Hank’s Place because bartender Hank never asked them for
proof of age? And, if the boys did happen to toss back a few at Hank’s, I wonder if Beaver ever ran into Marlene Holmes with her latest boy toy or maybe even house painter, Andy Hadlock?

What if the Beaver saw Gus-the-Fireman leaving the bar with Mrs. Cornelia Rayburn? Would the Beaver seek out his father, Ward, to make sense of such a perplexing and disturbing sight?

Alas, we’ll never know now.

What if the Beaver saw Gus-the-Fireman leaving the bar with Mrs. Cornelia Rayburn?

I want to say something about water left in a hose, but I won't.

That's really dark saying a Leave it to Beaver character ended up on Dateline. :eek:

Marlene was the Fastest Girl ever in the Series +- ? lol

Now if Eddy got the date with her ....

What is the name on the Book she is reading ?

Not Rebecca of Sunny Brook Farm LOL

More like Valley of the Dolls !

If Marlene were with us today, what do you think she’d be up to?

Possibly appearing as a contestant on “The Bachelorette”?

Pursuing an acting career on “Red Shoe Diaries”
and in “Fifty Shades of Grey”?

Or dating an A-List celebrity like P-Diddy, Tommy Lee or Ashton Kutcher?

I'm just catching up with these posts, not having visited this board so far in the new year. Hilarious stuff!! "Box Office Attraction" was definitely one of the most "edgy" LITB episodes.

Yes, “Box Office Attraction” was a definite departure from the usually light-hearted and family friendly episodes, featured on such traditional American sit-coms of the late 1950s and early 1960s as LITB, “Father Knows Best” and “The Donna Reed Show.”

Still, I do think that the creators and writers of LITB would occasionally attempt to address more serious and contemporary subjects, including alcoholism, the plight of the children growing up in divorced families and an instance when a mature and supposedly responsible man was found to act dishonestly in a golf game where Beaver was serving as a caddy.

And, in “Box Office Attraction,” the LITB creators and writers addressed, ever so lightly, the slowly changing attitudes towards teenaged premarital sex in America during the early 1960s. It must have been somewhat of a struggle for LITB’s creators and writers to convince the network censors to permit this particular episode to be even aired. I mean, could you see the creators and writers for “Father Knows Best,” penning an episode where the young and callow Bud Anderson is accosted in his car by a concupiscent coed just as the equally naive and inexperienced Wally Cleaver was propositioned by the worldly-wise Marlene Holmes on a Saturday night date? I don’t think so.

So, I commend Joe Connelly, Bob Mosher, Dick Conway and Roland MacLane for endeavoring to present episodes of LITB that addressed more topical and serious subjects as the much revered show entered its final two seasons.

Plus Wally had a cold Beer in front of him - OH MY GOD !

Do you think that Wally would have given that lone bottle of booze in the Cleaver home to the dipsomaniacal Andy Hadlock to drink like the young and entirely innocent Beaver did?

And, it’s a very good thing that “Mr. Jeff,” the down-on-his luck hobo did not ALSO ask Beaver for some sort of libation considering what a mess he already made, what with taking a bubble bath in the same tub that June and Ward used everyday (and I bet that June was REALLY pleased with THAT unexpected development!), leaving his, no doubt, absolutely filthy street clothes on the Cleavers’ bedroom floor for the Cleavers to find and pick-up (Yuck!) and, then finally, to take one of Ward’s best pin-striped suits, an expensive pair of wing tips, a Brooks Brothers dress shirt and neck tie and clean underwear and socks.

Oh, yeah, like June and Ward would be completely understanding about Beaver’s act of unbelievable kindness.

Beam me up, Eddie Haskell!!! ��������

Actually GROSS

In addition, the LITB writers were slightly inconsistent regarding Ward and his suits in that while the Cleaver dad was surprisingly calm and understanding after Mr. Jeff had clipped one of his best suits, just a few episodes later, Ward was obviously very irritated and bummed out after two of his suits were mistakenly donated to the clothing drive at Beaver’s grade school.

As I recall, Ward wanted June to go over to the Grant Avenue School and get his suits back. But, June very rightfully blamed her husband for the mix-up, so she told Ward to man-up and go and get the suits himself, which he reluctantly and quite sheepishly did.

I mean, could you see the creators and writers for “Father Knows Best,” penning an episode where the young and callow Bud Anderson is accosted in his car by a concupiscent coed just as the equally naive and inexperienced Wally Cleaver was propositioned by the worldly-wise Marlene Holmes on a Saturday night date? I don’t think so.


Actually, there WAS a similar episode in FKB as I recall involving Bud being attempted to "take advantage" of a girl he was dating--don't remember the title or season now, but I will look for it. FKB could also be quite an advanced and edgy show when it wanted to be.

Actually, there WAS a similar episode in FKB as I recall involving Bud being attempted to "take advantage" of a girl he was dating--don't remember the title or season now, but I will look for it. FKB could also be quite an advanced and edgy show when it wanted to be.

I’ve never seen that episode of FKB, where Bud was “feeling his oats.” Although, I do remember an episode of FKB, where Bud was smitten with his lovely tutor, who was portrayed by a very young and beautiful Diana Millay.

Ms. Millay later portrayed the beautiful, but deadly, Laura Collins, the repeatedly reborn supernatural Phoenix, who was married to Roger Collins, one of tv’s GREATEST snobs on the classic gothic soap opera, “Dark Shadows.”

Incidentally, another sit-com, which aired during the early 1960s, was “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis,” and where series star Dwayne Hickman got to passionately kiss such young and stunning actresses as Tuesday Weld, Yvonne Craig, Diana Millay and Daniels de Metz on the show. (Something Wally Cleaver only got to do once on LITB with you-know-who.)

In fact, it’s too bad that Diane “Marlene Holmes” Sayer did not also appear on an episode of TMLODG; she would have driven the loyal and eternally hopeful Zelda Gilroy mad with envy, seeing Dobie foolishly pursuing the zaftig Ms. Holmes all over town.

That FKB was "Crisis Over A Kiss" from season 5. Betty was dealing with an amorous boyfriend played by Ron Ely. Meanwhile Bud was doing the same routine with his girlfriend, Joyce (Roberta Shore). They all end up at a popular teen parking spot, with their respective dates, where Bud confronts Betty's date. Funny episode.

These were innocent times on TV. All Ely's character was trying to do was get a kiss, supposedly.