Frank Gannucci
12-29-2024, 08:26 AM
A Honeymooners New Year’s Day:
(Ralph & Ed are controlling the ball drop in Times Square but do them being dumb, the ball is stuck at 11:59:59. They are both tipsy.)
Crowd (yells): “1! 1!1!”
(The ball is still stuck. The crowd boos. Ralph & Ed notice.)
Ralph: “This ain’t a Miami Beach crowd. They are better than this.”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The male CNN anchor sees this.)
Anchor: “This is the first in history. The two boobs that are controlling this got the ball stuck.”
(The wives, Alice’s parents and the NYPD come by.)
Alice: “Well boys, what do you two have to say for yourselves? You obviously have beer on your breath.”
Ralph (drunkenly): “Haminahaminahamina!”
Alice’s Mom: “My big fat loser of a son-in-law has once again made a fool of himself.”
NYPD Cop: “We will protect you from the unruly mob.”
(They go into custody and arrive in the Kramden apartment.)
Ralph: “Boy everyone in the building is laughing at us. We are the laughingstock of the building.”
Ed: “No, we are the laughingstock of the WHOLE WORLD.”
Ralph (yells): “GEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(The Nortons leave.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Let's all sing. Are you ready Sammy Spear?"
All (sing): "Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!"
Jackie: "Happy New Year. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
(Crowd cheers.)
Source: Musixmatch
(Ralph & Ed are controlling the ball drop in Times Square but do them being dumb, the ball is stuck at 11:59:59. They are both tipsy.)
Crowd (yells): “1! 1!1!”
(The ball is still stuck. The crowd boos. Ralph & Ed notice.)
Ralph: “This ain’t a Miami Beach crowd. They are better than this.”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The male CNN anchor sees this.)
Anchor: “This is the first in history. The two boobs that are controlling this got the ball stuck.”
(The wives, Alice’s parents and the NYPD come by.)
Alice: “Well boys, what do you two have to say for yourselves? You obviously have beer on your breath.”
Ralph (drunkenly): “Haminahaminahamina!”
Alice’s Mom: “My big fat loser of a son-in-law has once again made a fool of himself.”
NYPD Cop: “We will protect you from the unruly mob.”
(They go into custody and arrive in the Kramden apartment.)
Ralph: “Boy everyone in the building is laughing at us. We are the laughingstock of the building.”
Ed: “No, we are the laughingstock of the WHOLE WORLD.”
Ralph (yells): “GEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(The Nortons leave.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Let's all sing. Are you ready Sammy Spear?"
All (sing): "Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!"
Jackie: "Happy New Year. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
(Crowd cheers.)
Source: Musixmatch