Frank Gannucci
12-28-2024, 07:08 AM
A Honeymooners New Year’s Eve:
(Ralph comes home the day before New Year’s Eve.)
Ralph (yells): “ALICE! ALICE! I GOT WONDERFUL NEWS!”
Alice: “What?”
Ralph: “Tomorrow night when the Raccoons are going to run the ball drop on New Year’s Eve in Times Square, me and Norton are gonna run the computer that will drop the ball.”
Alice: “Oh Ralph, that’s wonderful but I hope you two know you are doing.”
Ralph: “What are you talking about? I’m the computer expert in the family.”
Alice: “Yeah you are. I remember you accidentally downloading gay porn ten million times.”
Ralph: “You are a riot. A regular riot. I’m the captain of my team with Norton. We will drop the ball.”
(Alice goes to say something.)
Ralph (yells): “DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT.”
Alice: “I hope you two don’t embarrass yourselves by getting drunk as well.”
Ralph: “I never do that.”
Alice: “I suppose you were sober the night you came home from a Raccoon meeting, flung the window open and yelled: ‘MRS. GALLAGHER, GET YOUR CAT OUT OF MY APARTMENT.’ It wasn’t her cat. You had your raccoon hat on backwards.”
Ralph: “We won’t drop the ball.”
(On New Year’s Eve, Ralph & Ed are slightly tipsy while controlling the computer.)
Ed: “Ralph-ie boy, we are twenty seconds behind schedule. Let’s drop this fast.”
Ralph (sounding frantic): “Lets do it.”
(The girls are watching in the crowd.)
Trixie: “Our boys are messing up again.”
(Alice’s parents are watching on TV.)
Announcer (on TV): “The ball is stuck. There are 15 seconds to go.”
Alice’s Mom: “Ralph & Ed are stupid.”
Crowd (yells): “10…9…8…7…”
Ed (yells): “THE CHAMPAGNE IS NOT KORBEL.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
Crowd (yells): “4…3…2…1…”
(To be continued.)
(Ralph comes home the day before New Year’s Eve.)
Ralph (yells): “ALICE! ALICE! I GOT WONDERFUL NEWS!”
Alice: “What?”
Ralph: “Tomorrow night when the Raccoons are going to run the ball drop on New Year’s Eve in Times Square, me and Norton are gonna run the computer that will drop the ball.”
Alice: “Oh Ralph, that’s wonderful but I hope you two know you are doing.”
Ralph: “What are you talking about? I’m the computer expert in the family.”
Alice: “Yeah you are. I remember you accidentally downloading gay porn ten million times.”
Ralph: “You are a riot. A regular riot. I’m the captain of my team with Norton. We will drop the ball.”
(Alice goes to say something.)
Ralph (yells): “DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT.”
Alice: “I hope you two don’t embarrass yourselves by getting drunk as well.”
Ralph: “I never do that.”
Alice: “I suppose you were sober the night you came home from a Raccoon meeting, flung the window open and yelled: ‘MRS. GALLAGHER, GET YOUR CAT OUT OF MY APARTMENT.’ It wasn’t her cat. You had your raccoon hat on backwards.”
Ralph: “We won’t drop the ball.”
(On New Year’s Eve, Ralph & Ed are slightly tipsy while controlling the computer.)
Ed: “Ralph-ie boy, we are twenty seconds behind schedule. Let’s drop this fast.”
Ralph (sounding frantic): “Lets do it.”
(The girls are watching in the crowd.)
Trixie: “Our boys are messing up again.”
(Alice’s parents are watching on TV.)
Announcer (on TV): “The ball is stuck. There are 15 seconds to go.”
Alice’s Mom: “Ralph & Ed are stupid.”
Crowd (yells): “10…9…8…7…”
Ed (yells): “THE CHAMPAGNE IS NOT KORBEL.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
Crowd (yells): “4…3…2…1…”
(To be continued.)