Frank Gannucci
12-22-2024, 06:47 AM
A Honeymooners XMas Day:
(Ralph just got jailed for possession of stolen Christmas lights.)
(The Nortons, Alice & her parents visit Ralph to bail him out.)
Alice’s Mom: “I see that we are not too late to see my big fat son-in-law look like a fool.”
Ed: “Never fear Ralph. We are here. I just so happened that we ran into surveillance footage that shows that you are innocent. Here’s the person who supplied the footage.”
(Taylor Swift walks in. Crowd cheers.)
Ralph (yells with excitement): “DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? YOU ARE TAYLOR SWIFT.”
Ed: “That’s right. Taylor, I listen to your music every day on the job even when the tide comes in.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Taylor: “Thank you. When I heard the news, I knew I had to help.”
Ralph: “You are the good one.”
Ed: “I bet that you want to SHAKE OFF this experience especially since Taylor is here.”
(They laugh.)
(They then leave the jail.)
Ralph: “I’m so sorry you guys. I should’ve never trusted that guy in the street as far as lights go. I can cry.”
Alice: “Good thing is that we are all here. Look at the lights.”
Ralph: “Alice, I know that you will love your present that I Gave you.”
Ed: “Trixie, I know that you will love it too.”
Alice: “Same here.”
Trixie: “Same here.”
Ralph: “Ok. Come on guys. I say this all the time. Christmas is...well it's about the best time of the whole year. You walk down the streets even weeks before Christmas comes and there are lights hanging up – red ones and green ones. Sometimes there's snow. Everybody's hustling someplace. But they don't hustle around Christmas time like they usually do. You know, they're a little friendlier. They bump into you and they laugh and say 'Pardon me, Merry Christmas.' Especially when it gets real close to Christmas night. Everybody's walking home – you can hardly hear a sound. Bells are ringing, kids are singing, and the snow is coming down and boy, what a pleasure it is to think that you got someplace to go to and the place you're going to has someone in it that you really love. Someone that you're nuts about. Merry Christmas!"
All: "Merry Christmas!"
(They all hug.)
(The curtain starts to close. Jackie stops it.)
Jackie: "Ladies and gentlemen, we don't normally step out of character but we want to do this. Jean Kean.”
(Crowd cheers for Jean Kean.)
Jackie: “Audrey Meadows.”
(Crowd cheers for Audrey Meadows.)
Jackie: “Art Carney.”
(Crowd cheers for Art Carney.)
Jackie: “And Taylor Swift.”
(Crowd cheers for Taylor.)
Jackie: “All right. Sammy Spear and everyone as you can see I am not like Ralph. I am not going to freeze while I am on stage. Hahaha! Let's all sing! let’s sing Jingle Bells and Sammy Spear, I see you looking at Taylor. She’s young enough to be your great granddaughter.”
(Everyone laughs.)
All (singing): “Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh O’er the fields we go Laughing all the way. Bells on bob-tail ring Making spirits bright What fun it is to ride and sing A sleighing song tonight.
Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, O Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago I thought I’d take a ride And soon Miss Fanny Bright Was seated by my side; The horse was lean and lank Misfortune seemed his lot, We got into a drifted bank And there we got upsot.
Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, O Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago The story I must tell I went out on the snow And on my back I fell; A gent was riding by In a one-horse open sleigh He laughed as there I sprawling lie But quickly drove away.
Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, O Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh.
Now the ground is white, Go it while you’re young, Take the girls tonight And sing this sleighing song. Just get a bob-tailed bay, Two-forty for his speed, Then hitch him to an open sleigh And crack! You’ll take the lead.”
Everyone cheers.)
Jackie (yells): "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! THE MIAMI BEACH AUDIENCES ARE THE GREATEST AUDIENCES IN THE WORLD. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"
(The crowd erupts with cheers.)
(The end.)
Credit for the lyrics goes to https://ririro.com/jingle-bells-song/?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAoa-4maJBjhEWXW7mrix1KA55bJmV&gclid=Cj0KCQiApNW6BhD5ARIsACmEbkXs1GjeavxUWAYMopVhIREFEPQnP2FInsxrn71s6ubAy1a99nSMH34aAgDAEALw_wcB#google_vignette.
(Ralph just got jailed for possession of stolen Christmas lights.)
(The Nortons, Alice & her parents visit Ralph to bail him out.)
Alice’s Mom: “I see that we are not too late to see my big fat son-in-law look like a fool.”
Ed: “Never fear Ralph. We are here. I just so happened that we ran into surveillance footage that shows that you are innocent. Here’s the person who supplied the footage.”
(Taylor Swift walks in. Crowd cheers.)
Ralph (yells with excitement): “DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? YOU ARE TAYLOR SWIFT.”
Ed: “That’s right. Taylor, I listen to your music every day on the job even when the tide comes in.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Taylor: “Thank you. When I heard the news, I knew I had to help.”
Ralph: “You are the good one.”
Ed: “I bet that you want to SHAKE OFF this experience especially since Taylor is here.”
(They laugh.)
(They then leave the jail.)
Ralph: “I’m so sorry you guys. I should’ve never trusted that guy in the street as far as lights go. I can cry.”
Alice: “Good thing is that we are all here. Look at the lights.”
Ralph: “Alice, I know that you will love your present that I Gave you.”
Ed: “Trixie, I know that you will love it too.”
Alice: “Same here.”
Trixie: “Same here.”
Ralph: “Ok. Come on guys. I say this all the time. Christmas is...well it's about the best time of the whole year. You walk down the streets even weeks before Christmas comes and there are lights hanging up – red ones and green ones. Sometimes there's snow. Everybody's hustling someplace. But they don't hustle around Christmas time like they usually do. You know, they're a little friendlier. They bump into you and they laugh and say 'Pardon me, Merry Christmas.' Especially when it gets real close to Christmas night. Everybody's walking home – you can hardly hear a sound. Bells are ringing, kids are singing, and the snow is coming down and boy, what a pleasure it is to think that you got someplace to go to and the place you're going to has someone in it that you really love. Someone that you're nuts about. Merry Christmas!"
All: "Merry Christmas!"
(They all hug.)
(The curtain starts to close. Jackie stops it.)
Jackie: "Ladies and gentlemen, we don't normally step out of character but we want to do this. Jean Kean.”
(Crowd cheers for Jean Kean.)
Jackie: “Audrey Meadows.”
(Crowd cheers for Audrey Meadows.)
Jackie: “Art Carney.”
(Crowd cheers for Art Carney.)
Jackie: “And Taylor Swift.”
(Crowd cheers for Taylor.)
Jackie: “All right. Sammy Spear and everyone as you can see I am not like Ralph. I am not going to freeze while I am on stage. Hahaha! Let's all sing! let’s sing Jingle Bells and Sammy Spear, I see you looking at Taylor. She’s young enough to be your great granddaughter.”
(Everyone laughs.)
All (singing): “Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh O’er the fields we go Laughing all the way. Bells on bob-tail ring Making spirits bright What fun it is to ride and sing A sleighing song tonight.
Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, O Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago I thought I’d take a ride And soon Miss Fanny Bright Was seated by my side; The horse was lean and lank Misfortune seemed his lot, We got into a drifted bank And there we got upsot.
Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, O Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago The story I must tell I went out on the snow And on my back I fell; A gent was riding by In a one-horse open sleigh He laughed as there I sprawling lie But quickly drove away.
Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, O Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh.
Now the ground is white, Go it while you’re young, Take the girls tonight And sing this sleighing song. Just get a bob-tailed bay, Two-forty for his speed, Then hitch him to an open sleigh And crack! You’ll take the lead.”
Everyone cheers.)
Jackie (yells): "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! THE MIAMI BEACH AUDIENCES ARE THE GREATEST AUDIENCES IN THE WORLD. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"
(The crowd erupts with cheers.)
(The end.)
Credit for the lyrics goes to https://ririro.com/jingle-bells-song/?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAoa-4maJBjhEWXW7mrix1KA55bJmV&gclid=Cj0KCQiApNW6BhD5ARIsACmEbkXs1GjeavxUWAYMopVhIREFEPQnP2FInsxrn71s6ubAy1a99nSMH34aAgDAEALw_wcB#google_vignette.