Frank Gannucci
12-21-2024, 07:08 AM
A Honeymooners XMas Eve:
(The Kramdens and Nortons arrive at the Raccoon Lodge. Ralph has Ed carry a huge boatload of lights.)
Ralph: “Ok Norton. Drop the lights.”
(He does.)
Ralph: “You idiot. I paid a guy on the street $5 for these lights.”
Alice: “Ralph, you can get in trouble. That guy could’ve stole them.”
Ralph: “He looked as honest as the days long Alice. Now remember, I am the King of this operation here. Now, we are gonna surprise everyone. You girls go inside and have fun.”
(They do. The boys open the package and there is A LOT of lights.)
Ralph: “We are gonna decorate this whole lodge so that Chevy Chase would be proud if he saw it.”
Ed: “Just like he would be proud that we had to dig your tree out of the ground because you forgot the hacksaw.”
Ralph (yells): “ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!”
(They set up the lights. Ralph goes to climb up the ladder. Ed sees this.)
Ed: “I hope that ladder is strong.”
Ralph: “So you are saying that I am too fat and too heavy to climb this ladder. Why don’t you just say it?”
Ed: “You just did.”
(Ralph climbs up the ladder and it collapses under his weight.)
Ralph (off camera, yells); “DUOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
(Crash!)
(Ed helps Ralph up.)
Ed: “I need a crane Ralph.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
(They set up the lights. It’s XMas Eve night. Alice’s parents stop by.)
Alice’s Mom: “Hello Sonny Boy!”
Ralph (to Alice): “What’s she doing here?”
Alice: “She’s my mother Ralph and I invited her.”
Ralph: “Ok. Let’s have a drumroll.”
(They imitate a drumroll.)
Ralph (singing loudly): “JOY TO THE WORLD/…”
(Ralph plugs it in and nothing happens.)
Ralph: “Just kidding. Here’s the other wire.”
(They laugh. Ralph plugs in the lights and there is so much of them and they are so bright, it is blinding. Cops come.)
Ralph: “Hello officer. What are you doing here?”
Cop: “We may be too late for the festivities but not to arrest you. You are in possession of lights that were stolen. The original owner saw you take these lights from the person who stole them and he says that you two are in cohorts.”
(Ed hums the “Dragnet” theme.)
Ralph (while being handcuffed, yells): “WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!”
(To be continued.)
(The Kramdens and Nortons arrive at the Raccoon Lodge. Ralph has Ed carry a huge boatload of lights.)
Ralph: “Ok Norton. Drop the lights.”
(He does.)
Ralph: “You idiot. I paid a guy on the street $5 for these lights.”
Alice: “Ralph, you can get in trouble. That guy could’ve stole them.”
Ralph: “He looked as honest as the days long Alice. Now remember, I am the King of this operation here. Now, we are gonna surprise everyone. You girls go inside and have fun.”
(They do. The boys open the package and there is A LOT of lights.)
Ralph: “We are gonna decorate this whole lodge so that Chevy Chase would be proud if he saw it.”
Ed: “Just like he would be proud that we had to dig your tree out of the ground because you forgot the hacksaw.”
Ralph (yells): “ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!”
(They set up the lights. Ralph goes to climb up the ladder. Ed sees this.)
Ed: “I hope that ladder is strong.”
Ralph: “So you are saying that I am too fat and too heavy to climb this ladder. Why don’t you just say it?”
Ed: “You just did.”
(Ralph climbs up the ladder and it collapses under his weight.)
Ralph (off camera, yells); “DUOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
(Crash!)
(Ed helps Ralph up.)
Ed: “I need a crane Ralph.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
(They set up the lights. It’s XMas Eve night. Alice’s parents stop by.)
Alice’s Mom: “Hello Sonny Boy!”
Ralph (to Alice): “What’s she doing here?”
Alice: “She’s my mother Ralph and I invited her.”
Ralph: “Ok. Let’s have a drumroll.”
(They imitate a drumroll.)
Ralph (singing loudly): “JOY TO THE WORLD/…”
(Ralph plugs it in and nothing happens.)
Ralph: “Just kidding. Here’s the other wire.”
(They laugh. Ralph plugs in the lights and there is so much of them and they are so bright, it is blinding. Cops come.)
Ralph: “Hello officer. What are you doing here?”
Cop: “We may be too late for the festivities but not to arrest you. You are in possession of lights that were stolen. The original owner saw you take these lights from the person who stole them and he says that you two are in cohorts.”
(Ed hums the “Dragnet” theme.)
Ralph (while being handcuffed, yells): “WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!”
(To be continued.)