A Honeymooners Thanksgiving:

(Ralph goes to Ed’s manhole.)

Ralph (yells down the manhole): “HEY NORTON!”

Ed (from sewer, yells): “I AM COMING UP RALPH.”

(He does.)

Ralph: “How dare you?”

Ed: “What?”

Ralph: “You know that I am entering the Raccoon Thanksgiving Dinner cook off to win the $50. YOU had to enter it. We are the only two entering.”

Ed: “You said that you were entering in AFTER I did.”

Ralph: “Ok Norton. From here on in, we are DEADLY enemies. If you see me going down the street, get on the other side.”

Ed: “When you walk down a street, there AIN’T no other side.”

(Ralph leaves.)

(At the Raccoon Lodge Thanksgiving cook off, Ralph & Ed are side by side cooking turkeys.)

Ed: “Ralph, you are cooking the turkey the wrong way.”

Ralph: “Oh, I see what you are trying to do. Trying to cause me to lose. Well it AIN’T GONNA WORK. SHUT UP!”

(Later on, after Ed cooks a beautiful turkey, Ralph accidentally causes a fire due to his incredibly bad culinary skills. Everyone evacuates.)

Head Raccoon (yells): “YOU MR. KRAMDEN BETTER BE THANKFUL THAT WE DIDN’T KICK YOU OUT.”

Alice: “Well Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself?”

Ed: “Ralph, looks like you were the turkey.”

(Alice’s parents arrive much to Ralph’s surprise.)

Alice’s Mom: “Hello Sonny Boy. Are we too late for the eats?”

Brother Cassidy: “Brother Kramden lost the cook off contest and caused this fire.”

Alice’s Mom: “I see that I am not to late to see my big, fat, loser of a son-in-law become a big turkey.”

Head Raccoon (yells): “THE WINNER OF THE CONTEST IS BROTHER NORTON. HERE’S THE PRIZE.”

Ed (yells): “RALPH IS THE TURKEY. HAHAHAHA!”

Ralph (yells): “OK NORTON AND THE BLABBERMOUTH, FIGHT!”

(People try to separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Let me say that the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “And I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and to be thankful for family and friends. Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)