Frank Gannucci
06-13-2024, 07:10 AM
An I Love Lucy Dads Day:
(Lucy chases after Ricky. The Mertzes come in.)
Ricky: “Absolutely not. You can’t be in my Father’s Day show with my Uncle Alberto.”
Lucy: “Why not?”
Fred: “Cause you’re a mother.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “Oh.”
Ricky: “It’s because you ruin 95% of the shows that you shoeflute yourself in.”
Lucy: “Shoeflute?”
Ricky: “That means force.
Lucy: “You mean shoehorn.”
Ricky: “Whatever.”
Lucy: “There’s that 5%.”
Ricky: “Lucy, if I see you in the Club Babalu, i might be going to file a restraining order that you don’t come within 1,000 feet of the club.”
Fred: “Why don’t you file a restraining order so that she doesn’t come within 1,000 feet of you?”
Ethel: “Oh Fred.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Ricky: “See you all. I’m going to rehearsal.”
(He does.)
Lucy: “I’m going to be in his Dads Day show if it’s the last thing I do.”
Fred: “It may be the LAST thing you do.”
Lucy: “Now, I know that there’s this part where a lady on roller skates has to light Ricky’s and Uncle Alberto’s cigars. That’s all I have to do. I’ll bribe the lady with my household allowance.”
Ethel: “You are already withdrawn on that seven months in advance.”
Lucy: “Oh come on. I’m going to do it. I’m going to get discovered.”
Fred: “By Ricky before he yells at you.”
Lucy: “Oh Fred. You know what? I won’t do it.”
Fred: “Good. I’m going to go back to our guest house and count our money.”
(He does.)
Lucy: “Great way for me to send Fred off the track. This is what we will do.”
(On Dads Day, Ricky is with his Uncle.)
Uncle Alberto: “This will be a great show. As we are dancing, a lady will light our cigars.”
Ricky: “I wonder where Lucy is. Time for the show.”
(Ricky and Uncle Alberto sing about Dads Day. Just as they are supposed to dance, Lucy goes to light the cigars but she slips and falls and lights the curtains. There’s a big fire. Lucy tries to salvage it by dousing it with gasoline but that makes it worse. The NYFD comes down and Ricky’s show gets ruined. He is STEAMING MAD at Lucy.)
Lucy: “Now Ricky, I was only trying to help.”
(Lucy cries.)
(Lucy chases after Ricky. The Mertzes come in.)
Ricky: “Absolutely not. You can’t be in my Father’s Day show with my Uncle Alberto.”
Lucy: “Why not?”
Fred: “Cause you’re a mother.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Lucy: “Oh.”
Ricky: “It’s because you ruin 95% of the shows that you shoeflute yourself in.”
Lucy: “Shoeflute?”
Ricky: “That means force.
Lucy: “You mean shoehorn.”
Ricky: “Whatever.”
Lucy: “There’s that 5%.”
Ricky: “Lucy, if I see you in the Club Babalu, i might be going to file a restraining order that you don’t come within 1,000 feet of the club.”
Fred: “Why don’t you file a restraining order so that she doesn’t come within 1,000 feet of you?”
Ethel: “Oh Fred.”
(Ricky laughs.)
Ricky: “See you all. I’m going to rehearsal.”
(He does.)
Lucy: “I’m going to be in his Dads Day show if it’s the last thing I do.”
Fred: “It may be the LAST thing you do.”
Lucy: “Now, I know that there’s this part where a lady on roller skates has to light Ricky’s and Uncle Alberto’s cigars. That’s all I have to do. I’ll bribe the lady with my household allowance.”
Ethel: “You are already withdrawn on that seven months in advance.”
Lucy: “Oh come on. I’m going to do it. I’m going to get discovered.”
Fred: “By Ricky before he yells at you.”
Lucy: “Oh Fred. You know what? I won’t do it.”
Fred: “Good. I’m going to go back to our guest house and count our money.”
(He does.)
Lucy: “Great way for me to send Fred off the track. This is what we will do.”
(On Dads Day, Ricky is with his Uncle.)
Uncle Alberto: “This will be a great show. As we are dancing, a lady will light our cigars.”
Ricky: “I wonder where Lucy is. Time for the show.”
(Ricky and Uncle Alberto sing about Dads Day. Just as they are supposed to dance, Lucy goes to light the cigars but she slips and falls and lights the curtains. There’s a big fire. Lucy tries to salvage it by dousing it with gasoline but that makes it worse. The NYFD comes down and Ricky’s show gets ruined. He is STEAMING MAD at Lucy.)
Lucy: “Now Ricky, I was only trying to help.”
(Lucy cries.)