Frank Gannucci
03-28-2024, 07:21 AM
The Honeymooners gang goes to Egypt:
(The Kramdens and Norton’s arrive in their riverboat cruise inn Egypt. They are on the top deck.)
Alice: “We are finally here after the boys almost missed our connecting flights to Toronto and then to Frankfurt and now to Egypt. All because they wanted food from Burger King.”
Trixie: “Especially Ralph. I’m surprised he hasn’t thrown up yet.”
(The boys arrive wearing very loud attire. Everyone laughs.)
Ralph: “We are styling Norton.”
Ed: “Did you see the people looking at us?”
Alice: “I hope that you two don’t embarrass us on this trip.”
Ralph: “We don’t embarrass anyone. You two do. As a matter of fact, I feel like singing.” (Singing): “When I arrive in Egypt, I am going to explore/The many famous things that Egypt is famous for/I am going to visit all the smart cafes and have a round of drinks/When I arrive in Egypt, I am going to see pigs..."
Everyone: "The pigs?"
Ralph: "Yeah, the pigs."
Everyone: "In Egypt, there are pigs?”
Everyone including Ralph (sing): "You can see it in Egypt."
Captain (through bullhorn): "ALL ASHORE THAT'S GOING ASHORE."
(The ship's horns sounds.)
(The girls sit down.)
Ralph: "Well, here we are Norton. On the ship's dock. Let's sit down next to the girls.”
(They sit down.)
Ed: "Can you put the blanket on me?"
Ralph: "Sure."
(Ralph does.)
Ralph: "Can you put my blanket on me?"
Ed: "Sure."
(Ed gets up and puts the blanket on Ralph.)
Ed: "Now, do the smae thing for me?"
(Ralph starts to, but stops.)
Ralph: "You are not going to get me that easy."
Alice: “Stop it you two.”
(Ed starts to write a postcard.)
Ed: "'Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Smith: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Nat: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry & Smith. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear O' Hara: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry, Nat & Smith but they might be busy giving regards to each..."
Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"
(Ralph is getting sick.)
Alice: “Ralph, I told you that you are too much.”
(Ralph puts his head over the railing to throw up but his “insides” (that we don’t see) miss the water and hit the captain.)
Captain (from below, yells): “YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE SIR!”
Alice: “I told you that was too much food. What do you have to say for yourself?”
Ed: “Other then…” (imitating Ralph): “WHOOOOOAAAAA!”
(Ralph wants to fight Ed. Everyone tried to separate them.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The Kramdens and Norton’s arrive in their riverboat cruise inn Egypt. They are on the top deck.)
Alice: “We are finally here after the boys almost missed our connecting flights to Toronto and then to Frankfurt and now to Egypt. All because they wanted food from Burger King.”
Trixie: “Especially Ralph. I’m surprised he hasn’t thrown up yet.”
(The boys arrive wearing very loud attire. Everyone laughs.)
Ralph: “We are styling Norton.”
Ed: “Did you see the people looking at us?”
Alice: “I hope that you two don’t embarrass us on this trip.”
Ralph: “We don’t embarrass anyone. You two do. As a matter of fact, I feel like singing.” (Singing): “When I arrive in Egypt, I am going to explore/The many famous things that Egypt is famous for/I am going to visit all the smart cafes and have a round of drinks/When I arrive in Egypt, I am going to see pigs..."
Everyone: "The pigs?"
Ralph: "Yeah, the pigs."
Everyone: "In Egypt, there are pigs?”
Everyone including Ralph (sing): "You can see it in Egypt."
Captain (through bullhorn): "ALL ASHORE THAT'S GOING ASHORE."
(The ship's horns sounds.)
(The girls sit down.)
Ralph: "Well, here we are Norton. On the ship's dock. Let's sit down next to the girls.”
(They sit down.)
Ed: "Can you put the blanket on me?"
Ralph: "Sure."
(Ralph does.)
Ralph: "Can you put my blanket on me?"
Ed: "Sure."
(Ed gets up and puts the blanket on Ralph.)
Ed: "Now, do the smae thing for me?"
(Ralph starts to, but stops.)
Ralph: "You are not going to get me that easy."
Alice: “Stop it you two.”
(Ed starts to write a postcard.)
Ed: "'Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Smith: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Nat: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry & Smith. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear O' Hara: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry, Nat & Smith but they might be busy giving regards to each..."
Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"
(Ralph is getting sick.)
Alice: “Ralph, I told you that you are too much.”
(Ralph puts his head over the railing to throw up but his “insides” (that we don’t see) miss the water and hit the captain.)
Captain (from below, yells): “YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE SIR!”
Alice: “I told you that was too much food. What do you have to say for yourself?”
Ed: “Other then…” (imitating Ralph): “WHOOOOOAAAAA!”
(Ralph wants to fight Ed. Everyone tried to separate them.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)