Frank Gannucci
02-12-2024, 07:20 AM
A Honeymooners Valentines Day:
(Ralph & Ed just came home from a costume store.)
Ed: “Ralph, imagine us in the Raccoon Lodge Ladies Auxiliary Valentine’s Day play. You going as Cupid. Hahaha!”
Ralph: “Knock it off Norton. I got this costume in this size. Alice says that it’s too small but I disagree. I’m not spending $2 on a larger size.”
Ed: “Yeah, they don’t make sizes that are XXXXXXXXL.”
Ralph: “Ooooooh, you’re a riot. Just think. Mr. Faversham is going to have a man from Hollywood and he’s going to discover me. I’m on my way to Hollywood.”
Ed: “I hope that you don’t become conceited and stuck up.”
Ralph: “If there’s anything you should know by now Norton is that I can accept things gracefully. I can’t wait for the play.”
(On the night of the play, Ralph & Alice are arguing.)
Ralph: “I’m telling you Alice that this costume isn’t to small and I will be DISCOVERED. I memorized my lines like Jackie Gleason does. I got a photographic memory.”
Alice: “I know. An elephant never forgets.”
Ralph: “Ooooooooh, you’re going to get it. I’m telling you, I’m on my way to Hollywood. I will be FAMOUS.”
(When it comes time for Ralph to come on, the costume rips because it’s too short and he forgets ALL of his lines. His naked butt gets exposed (but the TV crowd doesn’t see it.) He gets embarrassed. At home, Alice talks to Ralph.)
Alice: “Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Ralph (yells): “BANG! ZOOM!”
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”
(Ralph & Ed just came home from a costume store.)
Ed: “Ralph, imagine us in the Raccoon Lodge Ladies Auxiliary Valentine’s Day play. You going as Cupid. Hahaha!”
Ralph: “Knock it off Norton. I got this costume in this size. Alice says that it’s too small but I disagree. I’m not spending $2 on a larger size.”
Ed: “Yeah, they don’t make sizes that are XXXXXXXXL.”
Ralph: “Ooooooh, you’re a riot. Just think. Mr. Faversham is going to have a man from Hollywood and he’s going to discover me. I’m on my way to Hollywood.”
Ed: “I hope that you don’t become conceited and stuck up.”
Ralph: “If there’s anything you should know by now Norton is that I can accept things gracefully. I can’t wait for the play.”
(On the night of the play, Ralph & Alice are arguing.)
Ralph: “I’m telling you Alice that this costume isn’t to small and I will be DISCOVERED. I memorized my lines like Jackie Gleason does. I got a photographic memory.”
Alice: “I know. An elephant never forgets.”
Ralph: “Ooooooooh, you’re going to get it. I’m telling you, I’m on my way to Hollywood. I will be FAMOUS.”
(When it comes time for Ralph to come on, the costume rips because it’s too short and he forgets ALL of his lines. His naked butt gets exposed (but the TV crowd doesn’t see it.) He gets embarrassed. At home, Alice talks to Ralph.)
Alice: “Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Ralph (yells): “BANG! ZOOM!”
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”