Frank Gannucci
12-29-2023, 08:17 AM
A Honeymooners New Year’s Day:
All (yell): “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
(They all kiss and hug their wives.)
Ralph: “Happy New Year Alice!”
(They hug and kiss.)
Ralph: “I won’t get drunk.”
(After consuming more beers, Ralph is now drunk.)
McGarrity (yells): “HEY EVERYONE! HEY HARVEY AND GEORGE! BIG FAT RALPH HERE IS ACTING LIKE HIMSELF. HE IS MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF.”
Ralph (drunkenly, yells): “TTTTTTTTTTTHAT’S IT YOU BUM! I AM READY TO FIGHT YOU! LET ME STRIP DOWN TO PROPER BOXING ATTIRE!”
(He does and when everyone tries to stop him, he fights with McGarrity by getting physical and throwing punches. The cops try to separate them. The cop sees the beer.)
Cop (yells): “YOU MR. KRAMDEN ARE GOING TO JAIL.”
(Ralph gets jailed. The next day, the Nortons and Alice visit him.)
Alice: “Well Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Ed: “Another one of your plans has gone up in flames. Also, Alice’s Mother got a REAL KICK out of you doing what you did. She was laughing her head off.”
Trixie: “That’s true.”
(Alice bails him out and then Ralph gets freed.)
Ed: “Another stay in jail for you Ralph.”
Ralph (yells): “NORTON, LETS GO!”
(They try to separate them as Ralph wants to fight Ed.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Let's all sing. Are you ready Sammy Spear?"
All (sing): "Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!"
Jackie: "Happy New Year. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
(Crowd cheers.)
All (yell): “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
(They all kiss and hug their wives.)
Ralph: “Happy New Year Alice!”
(They hug and kiss.)
Ralph: “I won’t get drunk.”
(After consuming more beers, Ralph is now drunk.)
McGarrity (yells): “HEY EVERYONE! HEY HARVEY AND GEORGE! BIG FAT RALPH HERE IS ACTING LIKE HIMSELF. HE IS MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF.”
Ralph (drunkenly, yells): “TTTTTTTTTTTHAT’S IT YOU BUM! I AM READY TO FIGHT YOU! LET ME STRIP DOWN TO PROPER BOXING ATTIRE!”
(He does and when everyone tries to stop him, he fights with McGarrity by getting physical and throwing punches. The cops try to separate them. The cop sees the beer.)
Cop (yells): “YOU MR. KRAMDEN ARE GOING TO JAIL.”
(Ralph gets jailed. The next day, the Nortons and Alice visit him.)
Alice: “Well Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Ed: “Another one of your plans has gone up in flames. Also, Alice’s Mother got a REAL KICK out of you doing what you did. She was laughing her head off.”
Trixie: “That’s true.”
(Alice bails him out and then Ralph gets freed.)
Ed: “Another stay in jail for you Ralph.”
Ralph (yells): “NORTON, LETS GO!”
(They try to separate them as Ralph wants to fight Ed.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Let's all sing. Are you ready Sammy Spear?"
All (sing): "Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!"
Jackie: "Happy New Year. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
(Crowd cheers.)