Frank Gannucci
12-21-2023, 06:12 AM
A Honeymooners XMas Eve:
(The Kramdens and Nortons arrive in Paramus, NJ.)
Ralph: “Good thing that I thought of coming here for XMas to visit relatives.”
Ed: “Thank you too for inviting us Ralph-ie boy! I always wanted to see the sewers of Paramus. Hahaha!”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Alice: “Ralph, it’s Saturday December 23rd. You better get your Christmas shopping done today.”
Ralph: “Why? Me and Norton were going to spend the day playing pool.”
Alice: “It’s the Bergen County Blue Law Ralph. Most shops are closed on Sunday even when Christmas Eve falls on it.”
Ralph: “Now that’s the most ridiculous piece of false information that I ever heard. They have to be open tomorrow. It’s Christmas Eve.”
Alice: “Ralph, you are going shopping today because I don’t want to bail you out of a jam.”
Ralph: “I always bail MYSELF out of a jam and do you know how?”
Alice: “By running into it like a bull.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells to Ed): “SHUT UP!”
Alice: “Ralph, you are going shopping today.”
Trixie: “Yeah. See you boys.”
(They leave.)
Ralph: “Do you believe that hogwash? I don’t. We are playing pool today.”
Ed: “Attaboy Ralph-ie boy!”
(On Christmas Eve night, Ralph & Ed go shopping.)
Ralph: “Good thing we got two cars so the wives can visit my relatives. Time for us to show our wives how smart we are by getting good deals tonight. The wives will look so dumb.”
(They leave and arrive at the Paramus Park Mall.)
Ralph: “Wow! It should be easy for us to find a space. There’s no one here.”
(They go to the mall entrance only to see that the mall is closed due to the blue law.)
Ralph: “Huminahumina!”
Ed: “I see that another one of your plans has gone up in flames.”
Ralph: “Do you know what we have to do now Norton? We have to speed to Brooklyn and get our gifts for our wives.”
Ed: “Full speed Ralph. I think we should take the sewer. I know the manhole that pops up right in front of Target in Brooklyn.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
(Later on at the Christmas Eve party, Alice gets a call from Ralph on her smartphone.)
Alice: “Ralph, where are you?”
Ralph (on phone): “Me and Norton are in jail. We didn’t go shopping yesterday and before you give me those ‘ I-told-you-sos’, at least I tried to stand up for myself.”
(Alice has a disgusted look on her face.)
Alice: “Trixie, my husband is in jail for speeding.
Trixie: “Oh.”
(They leave. To be continued.)
(The Kramdens and Nortons arrive in Paramus, NJ.)
Ralph: “Good thing that I thought of coming here for XMas to visit relatives.”
Ed: “Thank you too for inviting us Ralph-ie boy! I always wanted to see the sewers of Paramus. Hahaha!”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Alice: “Ralph, it’s Saturday December 23rd. You better get your Christmas shopping done today.”
Ralph: “Why? Me and Norton were going to spend the day playing pool.”
Alice: “It’s the Bergen County Blue Law Ralph. Most shops are closed on Sunday even when Christmas Eve falls on it.”
Ralph: “Now that’s the most ridiculous piece of false information that I ever heard. They have to be open tomorrow. It’s Christmas Eve.”
Alice: “Ralph, you are going shopping today because I don’t want to bail you out of a jam.”
Ralph: “I always bail MYSELF out of a jam and do you know how?”
Alice: “By running into it like a bull.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells to Ed): “SHUT UP!”
Alice: “Ralph, you are going shopping today.”
Trixie: “Yeah. See you boys.”
(They leave.)
Ralph: “Do you believe that hogwash? I don’t. We are playing pool today.”
Ed: “Attaboy Ralph-ie boy!”
(On Christmas Eve night, Ralph & Ed go shopping.)
Ralph: “Good thing we got two cars so the wives can visit my relatives. Time for us to show our wives how smart we are by getting good deals tonight. The wives will look so dumb.”
(They leave and arrive at the Paramus Park Mall.)
Ralph: “Wow! It should be easy for us to find a space. There’s no one here.”
(They go to the mall entrance only to see that the mall is closed due to the blue law.)
Ralph: “Huminahumina!”
Ed: “I see that another one of your plans has gone up in flames.”
Ralph: “Do you know what we have to do now Norton? We have to speed to Brooklyn and get our gifts for our wives.”
Ed: “Full speed Ralph. I think we should take the sewer. I know the manhole that pops up right in front of Target in Brooklyn.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
(Later on at the Christmas Eve party, Alice gets a call from Ralph on her smartphone.)
Alice: “Ralph, where are you?”
Ralph (on phone): “Me and Norton are in jail. We didn’t go shopping yesterday and before you give me those ‘ I-told-you-sos’, at least I tried to stand up for myself.”
(Alice has a disgusted look on her face.)
Alice: “Trixie, my husband is in jail for speeding.
Trixie: “Oh.”
(They leave. To be continued.)