Frank Gannucci
11-19-2023, 06:21 AM
A Honeymooners Thanksgiving:
(The Kramdens and Norton’s arrive at Alice’s parents house. Ralph looks disgusted. Alice’s Mom greets them at the door.)
Alice: “Happy Thanksgiving Mom!”
Alice’s Mom: “Happy Thanksgiving to all…including you Sonny Boy. Alice, your father choose to spend Thanksgiving with his side of the family. I hope that you don’t eat all of the turkey.”
Ralph: “Oooh, you dirty ole…”
Ed: “Look at Ralph. He’s bursting with joy in that he is going to cook the turkey.”
Alice’s Mom: “Well, like I said I hope he doesn’t eat it all. It looks like he may eat twelve.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
Alice: “I hope that Ralph does a great job.”
(Ralph goes into the kitchen. Later on, he is in the middle of cooking. Ed comes in.)
Ed: “Whaddaya say Ralph?”
Ralph: “I think that this dinner is coming along beautifully. I got the turkey ready. I also am cooking rice.”
(Alice & Alice’s Mother come in.)
Alice’s Mom: “Sonny Boy, that is too much rice.”
Ralph: “Look you. I know that this not too much rice. I am cooking one pound per person. That is NOT too much. I also know that I am going to put the turkey in the oven and I am going to set it at this temperature.”
Alice: “Ralph, that is too hot.”
Ralph: “Look you two dames. I don’t need your help cooking. I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. I TOOK A COOKING CLASS.”
Ed: “Are you sure that you didn’t eat your work?”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
Alice: “I am setting the turkey at this temperature.”
Ralph: “All right. All of you settle down.”
(They leave. Ralph sets the temperature at his temperature. Later on, they are waiting at the table.)
Ed: “I smell smoke and it is not coming from the sewer.”
Ralph (yells): “SO DO I! THERE’S A FIRE!”
(A big rice explosion is heard. There is a BIG mess due to Ralph’s stupidity. The smoke detector goes off. The fire department gets called. Ralph tried to help with the water but he accidentally slips and gets himself soaked. Cousin Leo comes by and sees all this.)
Cousin Leo: “Ralph, it’s GOOD to see ya. Am I too late for the eats?”
Alice’s Mom: “You may not be too late for the eats but not too late to see my son-in-law make a fool of himself.”
Ed: “Ralph, this is another one of your plans that went down the toilet.”
Ralph (to Ed & Alice’s Mom): “LETS GO YOU TWO! PUT ‘EM UP!”
Ed: “You got us outweighed but we will fight you anyway.”
(Everyone tries to separate them.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and the Miami Beach Thanksgivings are the BEST!”
Jackie: “Time to introduce the cast. First, the lady who played Alice’s Mom, Ethel Owen.”
(The crowd cheers as Ethel comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “Audrey Meadows.”
(The crowd cheers as Audrey comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “And Art Carney.”
The crowd cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “Good night!”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The Kramdens and Norton’s arrive at Alice’s parents house. Ralph looks disgusted. Alice’s Mom greets them at the door.)
Alice: “Happy Thanksgiving Mom!”
Alice’s Mom: “Happy Thanksgiving to all…including you Sonny Boy. Alice, your father choose to spend Thanksgiving with his side of the family. I hope that you don’t eat all of the turkey.”
Ralph: “Oooh, you dirty ole…”
Ed: “Look at Ralph. He’s bursting with joy in that he is going to cook the turkey.”
Alice’s Mom: “Well, like I said I hope he doesn’t eat it all. It looks like he may eat twelve.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
Alice: “I hope that Ralph does a great job.”
(Ralph goes into the kitchen. Later on, he is in the middle of cooking. Ed comes in.)
Ed: “Whaddaya say Ralph?”
Ralph: “I think that this dinner is coming along beautifully. I got the turkey ready. I also am cooking rice.”
(Alice & Alice’s Mother come in.)
Alice’s Mom: “Sonny Boy, that is too much rice.”
Ralph: “Look you. I know that this not too much rice. I am cooking one pound per person. That is NOT too much. I also know that I am going to put the turkey in the oven and I am going to set it at this temperature.”
Alice: “Ralph, that is too hot.”
Ralph: “Look you two dames. I don’t need your help cooking. I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. I TOOK A COOKING CLASS.”
Ed: “Are you sure that you didn’t eat your work?”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
Alice: “I am setting the turkey at this temperature.”
Ralph: “All right. All of you settle down.”
(They leave. Ralph sets the temperature at his temperature. Later on, they are waiting at the table.)
Ed: “I smell smoke and it is not coming from the sewer.”
Ralph (yells): “SO DO I! THERE’S A FIRE!”
(A big rice explosion is heard. There is a BIG mess due to Ralph’s stupidity. The smoke detector goes off. The fire department gets called. Ralph tried to help with the water but he accidentally slips and gets himself soaked. Cousin Leo comes by and sees all this.)
Cousin Leo: “Ralph, it’s GOOD to see ya. Am I too late for the eats?”
Alice’s Mom: “You may not be too late for the eats but not too late to see my son-in-law make a fool of himself.”
Ed: “Ralph, this is another one of your plans that went down the toilet.”
Ralph (to Ed & Alice’s Mom): “LETS GO YOU TWO! PUT ‘EM UP!”
Ed: “You got us outweighed but we will fight you anyway.”
(Everyone tries to separate them.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and the Miami Beach Thanksgivings are the BEST!”
Jackie: “Time to introduce the cast. First, the lady who played Alice’s Mom, Ethel Owen.”
(The crowd cheers as Ethel comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “Audrey Meadows.”
(The crowd cheers as Audrey comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “And Art Carney.”
The crowd cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “Good night!”
(Crowd cheers.)