Sitcomwriter
09-07-2002, 05:34 PM
“Sophia In Bel Air”
#1:”Dear Diary”
Theme Song:”Oh Thank you for being a friend but here I am down this road again We've all gone our separate ways but here I am today I'm making a new life for myself (Myself) the old me is nowhere to be (To be) Oh making myself a new life (New Life) a new life you see (baby) Thank you for being a friend but here I am down this road again your heart was true you were a pal and a conidant oh your heart was true you were a pal and a confidant Thank you for being my friend (Thank you again) thank you for being you thank me for being me but now here I am baby Thank you for being my thank you for being a friend".
Cast:
Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo
Fred Willard as Wilson Mayberry
Morgan Fairchild as Denise Mayberry
Joanna Garcia as Tiffany Mayberry-Rice
Scarlett Pomers as Candice Mayberry
Tim Curry as Norman Banks
Mishach Taylor as Jamal Rice
Tom Cruise as Milton Fisk
(Opening Credits)
(Sophia is dusting Tiffany’s room with a feather duster and comes across her diary)
Sophia:Ooh (Goes to pick it up) No I shouldn’t (Pause) Ah what the hell! You only live once! (Picks up the diary and reads it) Ooh….Ooh…Oh My What is this a soap opera?
(Tiffany and Jamal’s honeymoon Hotel room.Tiffany is on the bed and Milton is under it)
Jamal:I’ll be right back my sweet (leaves)
Tiffany:And I’ll still be here
Milton:Hi Tiffany
Tiffany:Hi Milton………………..MILTON! What are you doing here?
Milton:I followed you on your honeymoon
Tiffany:You had NO right Milton!
Jamal:Here I come
Tiffany:Quick! Hide!
(Milton hides under the bed as Jamal enters)
Jamal:Hi honey
Tiffany:Hi Milton…..JAMAL! Hi Jamal
Jamal:Milton? You mean that middle-age guy that has a crush on you
Milton (Voice):Your middle-age too!
Jamal;Who said that?
Tiffany:Did I say that I’m a classically trained ventriloquist?
Jamal:No and I don’t believe you are>Milton get your ass out here
Milton:Hi Jamal
Jamal:What are you doing here on my honeymoon with my wife under the bed
Milton:Well….
Jamal:And don’t say that she asked you to have a three-way with us
Milton:I…..Best be going
Jamal:You best before I kick yo’ ass
(The Living Room of The Mayberry Mansion.Filled to the brim with red carpets,servants and a water fountain.Sophia comes down the stairs holding the diary.Denise and Wilson are drinking wine on the couch)
Norman:More wine My Lady?
Denise:Thank you Norman
Sophia:hehehe
Wilson:Hehehe?
Sophia:Denise,Wilson I’ve found your daughter’s diary
Denise:Which one?
Candice:Mom I don’t have a diary
Denise:Now I’m glad we sent you to boarding school!
Wilson:Sophia you shouldn’t be reading Tiffany’s diary!
Denise:Stop being a party pooper Wilson.Read on Sophia
Sophia:You are going to love this….
Candice:Ah yes I read that one Tiffany loses her how can I say it Flower at age 14
Sophia:Oh great thanks for spoiling it for them little Miss I still wet myself
(Denise Gasps)
Candice:You have a VIBRATOR!
(Denise Gasps)
Sophia:So do you Miss Did it last year while your parents were away!
(Denise Gasps)
Wilson:Ladies Stop it! I’ve learned a little TOO much about you two and now have disturbing images in my head
Denise:I can’t believe that Tiffany LIED to us
(Tiffany and Jamal enter)
Jamal:Hi Mrs.M,Mr.M,Sophia
Candice:How was your “First Time”?
Wilson:CANDICE!
Tiffany:That’s ok dad it was good
Jamal:First Time? What about when you were 14?
Tiffany:JAMAL!
Denise:Tiffany I can’t believe you lied to us!
Tiffany:I’m sorry mom but I didn’t know what to say.It was a One-Time-Only deal
Denise:I don’t have a grandchild do I?
Tiffany:No mom
Denise:Are you sure cause I was surprised when we had to send you to Fat Camp
Tiffany:MOM!
Jamal:Fat Camp?
Tiffany:I liked cake!
(They go up the stairs to their room)
Sophia:Well I guess I should go to back to work….
Wilson:No you shall not young lady
Sophia:Young lady? What are you blind?
Wilson:You just embarrassed our daughter in front of her husband.You’ve been here for a year now and you know what happens
Sophia:Oh no do I really have to jump in the fountain naked?
Wilson:That’s what we do here when we do wrong
Sophia:Then why don’t I ever see YOU Do it
Wilson:Because I’m always well behaved
Denise:Yeah right
(Sophia,Wilson and Candice are naked in the fountain.We can’ only see their faces but we can also see that everybody is watching them)
Wilson:I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life!
Sophia:Your shrinking
Wilson:Ok now I’m even MORE embarrassed!
Candice:Ok Come on! I’m happy to show off my blossoming body
(Closing Credits)
(Several hours later Candice is the only one still in the fountain.There are 25 teenage boys surrounding her)
Boy:Wow your fine!
Candice:Don’t you forget it! Now who wants to pet me?
THE END
#1:”Dear Diary”
Theme Song:”Oh Thank you for being a friend but here I am down this road again We've all gone our separate ways but here I am today I'm making a new life for myself (Myself) the old me is nowhere to be (To be) Oh making myself a new life (New Life) a new life you see (baby) Thank you for being a friend but here I am down this road again your heart was true you were a pal and a conidant oh your heart was true you were a pal and a confidant Thank you for being my friend (Thank you again) thank you for being you thank me for being me but now here I am baby Thank you for being my thank you for being a friend".
Cast:
Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo
Fred Willard as Wilson Mayberry
Morgan Fairchild as Denise Mayberry
Joanna Garcia as Tiffany Mayberry-Rice
Scarlett Pomers as Candice Mayberry
Tim Curry as Norman Banks
Mishach Taylor as Jamal Rice
Tom Cruise as Milton Fisk
(Opening Credits)
(Sophia is dusting Tiffany’s room with a feather duster and comes across her diary)
Sophia:Ooh (Goes to pick it up) No I shouldn’t (Pause) Ah what the hell! You only live once! (Picks up the diary and reads it) Ooh….Ooh…Oh My What is this a soap opera?
(Tiffany and Jamal’s honeymoon Hotel room.Tiffany is on the bed and Milton is under it)
Jamal:I’ll be right back my sweet (leaves)
Tiffany:And I’ll still be here
Milton:Hi Tiffany
Tiffany:Hi Milton………………..MILTON! What are you doing here?
Milton:I followed you on your honeymoon
Tiffany:You had NO right Milton!
Jamal:Here I come
Tiffany:Quick! Hide!
(Milton hides under the bed as Jamal enters)
Jamal:Hi honey
Tiffany:Hi Milton…..JAMAL! Hi Jamal
Jamal:Milton? You mean that middle-age guy that has a crush on you
Milton (Voice):Your middle-age too!
Jamal;Who said that?
Tiffany:Did I say that I’m a classically trained ventriloquist?
Jamal:No and I don’t believe you are>Milton get your ass out here
Milton:Hi Jamal
Jamal:What are you doing here on my honeymoon with my wife under the bed
Milton:Well….
Jamal:And don’t say that she asked you to have a three-way with us
Milton:I…..Best be going
Jamal:You best before I kick yo’ ass
(The Living Room of The Mayberry Mansion.Filled to the brim with red carpets,servants and a water fountain.Sophia comes down the stairs holding the diary.Denise and Wilson are drinking wine on the couch)
Norman:More wine My Lady?
Denise:Thank you Norman
Sophia:hehehe
Wilson:Hehehe?
Sophia:Denise,Wilson I’ve found your daughter’s diary
Denise:Which one?
Candice:Mom I don’t have a diary
Denise:Now I’m glad we sent you to boarding school!
Wilson:Sophia you shouldn’t be reading Tiffany’s diary!
Denise:Stop being a party pooper Wilson.Read on Sophia
Sophia:You are going to love this….
Candice:Ah yes I read that one Tiffany loses her how can I say it Flower at age 14
Sophia:Oh great thanks for spoiling it for them little Miss I still wet myself
(Denise Gasps)
Candice:You have a VIBRATOR!
(Denise Gasps)
Sophia:So do you Miss Did it last year while your parents were away!
(Denise Gasps)
Wilson:Ladies Stop it! I’ve learned a little TOO much about you two and now have disturbing images in my head
Denise:I can’t believe that Tiffany LIED to us
(Tiffany and Jamal enter)
Jamal:Hi Mrs.M,Mr.M,Sophia
Candice:How was your “First Time”?
Wilson:CANDICE!
Tiffany:That’s ok dad it was good
Jamal:First Time? What about when you were 14?
Tiffany:JAMAL!
Denise:Tiffany I can’t believe you lied to us!
Tiffany:I’m sorry mom but I didn’t know what to say.It was a One-Time-Only deal
Denise:I don’t have a grandchild do I?
Tiffany:No mom
Denise:Are you sure cause I was surprised when we had to send you to Fat Camp
Tiffany:MOM!
Jamal:Fat Camp?
Tiffany:I liked cake!
(They go up the stairs to their room)
Sophia:Well I guess I should go to back to work….
Wilson:No you shall not young lady
Sophia:Young lady? What are you blind?
Wilson:You just embarrassed our daughter in front of her husband.You’ve been here for a year now and you know what happens
Sophia:Oh no do I really have to jump in the fountain naked?
Wilson:That’s what we do here when we do wrong
Sophia:Then why don’t I ever see YOU Do it
Wilson:Because I’m always well behaved
Denise:Yeah right
(Sophia,Wilson and Candice are naked in the fountain.We can’ only see their faces but we can also see that everybody is watching them)
Wilson:I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life!
Sophia:Your shrinking
Wilson:Ok now I’m even MORE embarrassed!
Candice:Ok Come on! I’m happy to show off my blossoming body
(Closing Credits)
(Several hours later Candice is the only one still in the fountain.There are 25 teenage boys surrounding her)
Boy:Wow your fine!
Candice:Don’t you forget it! Now who wants to pet me?
THE END