A Honeymooners Father’s Day:

(Ralph and Alice are arguing in the Kramden kitchen.)

Ralph: “For the last time Alice, I AM NOT taking those parents of yours to a NY Yankee game.”

Alice: “You are Ralph because it’s Father’s Day and my Father loves baseball.”

Ralph: “He’s a fan of those BUM Red Sox. I refuse to take him with me.”

Alice: “You are Ralph. You said that you would.”

Ralph: “After three quarts of beer, I will say anything that I don’t mean like liking your Mother.”

Alice: “Ralph Kramden, how could you?”

Ralph: “Very easy. I looove to drink…AND DONT YOU DARE SAY IT.”

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “Hello folks!”

Ralph: “Hi Norton! Norton, you want to see the Yankee game this Sunday.”

Ed: “I can’t Ralph. Im going to take Truxie’s Dad and Mom to a movie. I dislike her Dad but I thought I would make the sacrifice especially since I dislike the movie we are gonna see but he loves it. This is what I came down to tell you about. See ya!”

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: “Gee, I guess that that puts everything in perspective. Norton makes the sacrifice, so will I. I’m sorry dear.”

Alice: “I love you Ralph.”

Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.”

(They hug and kiss.

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)