Frank Gannucci
05-26-2023, 07:16 AM
A Honeymooners Memorial Day:
(The Kramdens & Norton gather in Central Park.)
Ed: “What a great day Ralph for a Memorial Day barbecue.”
Ralph: “Goid thing that you and Trixie invited Alice & me to your Inaugural Memorial Day Sewerworkers barbecue.”
Alice: “I just hope that you two don’t make fools of yourselves.”
Trixie: “Yeah.”
Ralph: “Alice, if there is anyone in this family that makes a fool of themselves, it’s you. I never make a fool of myself and I never did.”
Alice: “That is so right Ralph. You NEVER make yourself look like a fool. You ALWAYS. looked smart. After all, it’s not like you came home drunk and stripped off your clothes before you went to bed.”
Ralph: “What is wrong with that?”
Alice: “You did it in McGarrity’s apartment in front of McGarrity.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
(Ed’s sewerworker friends show up.)
Man: “Hello Ed & Ralph! What a great day to play mud football with our fellow sewerworkers who served our country.”
Ralph: “I got a feeling that I am going to play like I never did before.”
Alice: “Ralph, be careful when you throw the ball. You may hit a window.”
Ralph: “I will never do that.”
(They play football. Ralph has the ball.)
Ralph (yells): “SOMONE ON MY TEAM CATCH IT! I’M GOING TO THROW THIS LIKE TOM BRADY. TOM WILL BE GREEN WITH ENVY.”
(Ed tackles Ralph as he throws the ball. They both fall into a pool of mud and Ralph suffers a wardrobe malfunction. The ball goes through a cop car. The cop comes out. Ralph is covered with mud.)
Cop: “Who did this?”
Ed: “Him. He’s Kramden. I’m clean.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
(Alice’s mom comes by.)
Alice’s Mom: “I may be too late for the eats but not too late to see my big, fat, loser son-in-law make a fool of himself.”
(Ralph gets handcuffed and he is off to jail.)
Ed: “Hope you had a Happy Memorial Day Ralph! I’ll bail you out.”
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "In case you are wondering, I wasn’t naked.”
(Crowd laughs.)
Jackie: “Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie: “Happy Memorial Day and the Miami Memorial Days are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The Kramdens & Norton gather in Central Park.)
Ed: “What a great day Ralph for a Memorial Day barbecue.”
Ralph: “Goid thing that you and Trixie invited Alice & me to your Inaugural Memorial Day Sewerworkers barbecue.”
Alice: “I just hope that you two don’t make fools of yourselves.”
Trixie: “Yeah.”
Ralph: “Alice, if there is anyone in this family that makes a fool of themselves, it’s you. I never make a fool of myself and I never did.”
Alice: “That is so right Ralph. You NEVER make yourself look like a fool. You ALWAYS. looked smart. After all, it’s not like you came home drunk and stripped off your clothes before you went to bed.”
Ralph: “What is wrong with that?”
Alice: “You did it in McGarrity’s apartment in front of McGarrity.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”
(Ed’s sewerworker friends show up.)
Man: “Hello Ed & Ralph! What a great day to play mud football with our fellow sewerworkers who served our country.”
Ralph: “I got a feeling that I am going to play like I never did before.”
Alice: “Ralph, be careful when you throw the ball. You may hit a window.”
Ralph: “I will never do that.”
(They play football. Ralph has the ball.)
Ralph (yells): “SOMONE ON MY TEAM CATCH IT! I’M GOING TO THROW THIS LIKE TOM BRADY. TOM WILL BE GREEN WITH ENVY.”
(Ed tackles Ralph as he throws the ball. They both fall into a pool of mud and Ralph suffers a wardrobe malfunction. The ball goes through a cop car. The cop comes out. Ralph is covered with mud.)
Cop: “Who did this?”
Ed: “Him. He’s Kramden. I’m clean.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
(Alice’s mom comes by.)
Alice’s Mom: “I may be too late for the eats but not too late to see my big, fat, loser son-in-law make a fool of himself.”
(Ralph gets handcuffed and he is off to jail.)
Ed: “Hope you had a Happy Memorial Day Ralph! I’ll bail you out.”
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "In case you are wondering, I wasn’t naked.”
(Crowd laughs.)
Jackie: “Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)
Jackie: “Happy Memorial Day and the Miami Memorial Days are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)