A Honeymooners Mother’s Day:

(The Kramdens are arguing in the bedroom.)

Alice (from bedroom, yells): “FOR THE LAST TIME RALPH, YOU CAN’T GO FISHING WITH ED THIS MOTHER’S DAY! WE ARE VISITING MY MOTHER’S.”

Ralph (from bedroom, yells): “FOR THE LAST TINE, I AM THE KING OF THIS CASTLE ALICE AND I’M GOING FISHING WITH NORTON.”

(The Kramdens leave the bedroom. Crowd cheers.)

Alice: “Ralph, I promised my parents that you are coming.”

Ralph: “Tell them that I had another prior commitment that you didn’t know about.”

Alice: “Ralph, how could you do this to me?”

Ralph: “How about me? Me and your mom don’t get along. We’re enemies. Natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose.”

Alice: “Ralph.”

Ralph: “Don’t ‘Ralph’ me. I am bringing down Edand ask him if he’s ready.”

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: “Hello folks.”

Raloh: “Are you ready to go fishing Norton?”

Ed: “I can’t go Ralph. Trixie said that her mother is coming and her mom wants to see me and I don’t want to upset anyone so I decided to cancel. Talk to you two later.”

All: “Bye!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Alice sits down.)

Alice: “What a moax I am. Here I am thinking of myself and not of you Alice. I am sorry. I will go to your mothers. You know what, there are times like this when I wish we had kids.”

Alice: “I love you Ralph.”

Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.”

(They hug and kiss.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Criwd cheers.)

Jackie: “I just want to wish a Happy Mothers Day to every mother out there and to you too Ma.”

(Jackie blows a kiss. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Let’s introduce the cast. First, Audrey Meadows.”

(Crowd cheers as Aud goes on stage and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: “Art Carney!”

(Crowd cheers as Aud goes on stage and shakes Jackie’s hand.)

Jackie: “Good night everyone and the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST!”

(Crowd cheers.)