Detective Lily Rush must perform most of her investigative work at her Philadelphia police station. She almost has the same “prison pallor” many of the bad men and women she tracks down in the course of her duties have.

Lily really should take some quality time at either Atlantic City or Cale May on the beautiful New Jersey shore and catch some much-needed rays to give her that same, most appealing bronzed-look, which both the ageless pretty boy George Hamilton and the zaftig Pamela Anderson of “Bay Watch” are famous for.

Of course, Lily, with her almost phosphorescent, white Irish-American complexion, will have to apply copious amounts of Coppertone SPF 100 repeatedly to herself to be safe in the summer sun.

Have a great time at the beach, Lily, but don’t forget to butter-up!

No she doesn't. There is nothing wrong with pale skin, tanning is overrated.

Don’t tell Eva Longoria and George Hamilton that.