Amos: "Irregular? Sure, it's irregular. But, that's what made this country what it is today! People doin' what's right and not worryin' if it's ever been done before."

(First line of the series.)
Amos: "You know, I believe he's fixing to give us a ticket."

Sam Hartunian: "Well, my friend, this is such wonderful country."

Amos: (to Mr. Johnson) "Ah, you're takin' a bunch of them legal words and weavin' a noose. You got Sam's neck in the middle of it!"

Luke: "Why don't we get Sam married to an American citizen?"

Aggie: "I'll believe that when I see pigs fly."

Sam: "Why you got such long face? Is now illegal to smile, huh?"

Clifford: Hey, that's good, Kate. Now, if you'll just lengthen your backswing a bit, you'll get more speed.
Luke McCoy: [interrupts impatiently] Ju-Ju-Just a minute, there - if anybody's gonna lengthen my wife's backswing, it's gonna be me!

Amos: "Doggone gasoline makers, they got these things trained so they won't run on nothing else!"

Amos: "Somethin' I want to straighten out about hillbillies... And what they've done for this here country.

"Maybe it'd be a good idea to start out with a bunch of fellas called the Green Mountain Boys. They've done a right nice piece of fightin' for the War of Independence... They was both born in log cabins, but they've done alright for us.

"But if you want to go ahead and laugh about folks... You think it's all right because you was lucky enough to be born in a house with lace curtains on the windahs, why go right ahead.

"But I'll tell you one thing; I'm rightly sorry for you."

Luke McCoy: [meeting Pepino for the first time] We're the McCoys. I'm - I'm Luke, and that there's my wife, Kate.
Kate McCoy: We just got married before leaving home.
Pepino: Just married.
[begins speaking quickly in Spanish]
Grandpa Amos McCoy: [looking to Luke] I say he's Russian.
Luke McCoy: He says he's Mexican.
Grandpa Amos McCoy: It's just his word ag'in mine.
Hassie: My name's Hassie.
Luke McCoy: She's my sister, and that there's my little brother - that's Luke.
Pepino: Pardon me for asking, Señor, but how does it happen that two brothers both have the same name?
Luke McCoy: Well, you see, in the excitement of having him, ma and pa plum forgot they already had me.
Pepino: [to himself] I've got to remember not to ask so many questions.
Luke McCoy: And this here - this here is Grampa Amos. That's the oldest livin' real McCoy.