A Honeymooners Veterans Day:

(Ralph & Ed are watching a Veterans Day parade from the Kramden kitchen apartment window.)

Ralph: “Take a look Norton. It’s great that Brooklyn is doing a Veterans Day parade to honor war veterans.”

Ed: “You said it Ralph.”

Ralph: “It’s nice that some people care about our war veterans. It’s people like them that made America what it is today.”

Ed: “They have protected our country. I’m a veteran myself.”

Ralph: “That is right Norton. You made America great in addition to keeping the sewers of Brooklyn in order.”

(Ed blows his nose out of sadness.)

Ralph: “It must be hell out there defending our country.”

Ed: “Yeah one time I had this tumor on my brain so I went to the army doctor to have it removed. The boys asked ‘What did they remove, the tumor or the brain?’ Hahaha!”

Ralph: “You don’t have to ask me. I know what they removed.”

Ed: “You are a sweet kid Ralph.”

Ralph: “I wonder what it would be like if I joined the army?”

Ed: “You would probably fail the physical.”

Ralph (yells): “GEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Folks, I just noticed some war veterans in the front row.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “We are proud of you guys for keeping America free. As always, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! Time to bring out Art Carney.”

(Criwd cheers when Art comes on stage and shakes Jackie’s hand.)

Jackie & Art (yell): “GOOD NIGHT!”