View Full Version : A Honeymooners Election Day:


Frank Gannucci
11-05-2022, 07:17 AM
A Honeymooners Election Day:

(Ralph & Ed are walking towards the polls.)

Ed: “I don’t know who I am going to vote for in these mid-term elections.”

Ralph: “I do and I told you about them. I hope that the candidates that I am pulling for are great.”

Ed: “So far who do you think is going to face Biden in 2024?”

Ralph: “I don’t know but I think it will be someone MUCH younger.”

Ed: “Me too. I heard of chaos happening at these polling places.”

Ralph: “That won’t happen tonight.”

(They spot McGarrity. Ralph & McGarrity glower at each other. They walk towards the polling booth.)

McGarrity: “Ralph, you think you can fit in that booth?”

Ralph: “So, you are saying that I am too fat and too wide. Why don’t you just say it?”

Ed: “You just did Ralph.”

Ralph: “Watch it Norton.”

McGarrity: “Boy, Ralph if you get in there, they may need the jaws of life to get you out.”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON! AND YOU MCGARRITY, YOU ARENT EXACTLY FIT YOU KNOW.”

McGarrity (yells): “I RAN THE NYC MARATHON THIS YEAR LAST SUNDAY. TWO DAYS AGO.”

Ralph (yells): “YEAH AND YOU REALLY LET YOURSELF GO FOR TWO DAYS.”

Man (yells): “GENTLEMEN, KEEP QUIET.”

Ed: “Don’t worry mister. That’s my friend’s way of keeping calm and cool.”

McGarrity (yells): “YOU RALPH LET YOURSELF GO FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

Ralph (yells): “ALL RIGHT MCGARRITY! PUT ‘EM UP! LETS GO!”

(Ralph gets thrown out before he can vote. Later on in the Kramden apartment, Ralph is upset.)

Ralph: “What a night Alice. I got thrown out of the polling place.”

Alice: “All because of your big mouth.”

Ralph: “I didn’t get to vote and all of my candidates that I was going to vote, lost.”

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “It was a dark, dark day Ralph. You got kicked out of the polling place and of your candidates lost and they won’t be able to run again for four years.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Don’t forget to go out and vote. It’s very important. Also, the Miami Beach crowds are the best. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)