So in a forum I was in a controversial topic came up, that I'd never really thought about..... If a child has a terminal illness and they are going to die, should they be allowed to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, get a tattoo and do petty much anything they want? Usually we don't allow kids to do those things because they aren't mature enough to make an informed decision, but in the case that they are going to die and not have an adult life, what would they really be waiting for?

I say no, once you give the child a sense of privilege, next they'll want to start using the wrong gender bathrooms, and who knows what all else? :lol:

It's a difficult question--I guess you'd first have to know if a terminally ill 10 year old would think to ask for tattoos, smoking, etc.

Possibly the person would be too preoccupied thinking about their own mortality than to come up with these things.

It's a difficult question--I guess you'd first have to know if a terminally ill 10 year old would think to ask for tattoos, smoking, etc.

Possibly the person would be too preoccupied thinking about their own mortality than to come up with these things.


For myself when I was around 10, I'd get super mad when the adults had champagne or whatever and I couldn't have any, .... so the question is if a 10 year old wasn't gonna make it to adulthood, should ppl just go ahead and give them the champagne? If I had had a terminal illness at that age.... It's hard to say what my priorities would have been..... I think I'd be a lot more scared today as an adult if I were in that situation, that I would have been as a child... I find myself being more "skiddish" today than as a child. When I was little I used to want to fly in an airplane..... but today as an adult flying scares me

That parent is very very stupid and of course no, that child has a heart and could live for who knows how long. Take care of that child. All that other stuff is abuse. Give that child more good healthy treats if they want to give more and give more Love.

Thinking more on this and if the family drinks champaign and some wine then a little glass now and then for the child would not hurt, I suppose families out there allow their children to drink with them, not our family and I'd not do that one with my child and grandkids.

And who knows, we don't, is the child on drugs from pharma for their health issues..alcohol etc don't mix.

That parent is very very stupid and of course no, that child has a heart and could live for who knows how long. Take care of that child. All that other stuff is abuse. Give that child more good healthy treats if they want to give more and give more Love.

Thinking more on this and if the family drinks champaign and some wine then a little glass now and then for the child would not hurt, I suppose families out there allow their children to drink with them, not our family and I'd not do that one with my child and grandkids.

And who knows, we don't, is the child on drugs from pharma for their health issues..alcohol etc don't mix.

Agree. If they wanted to try it, I'd say yes to that, and continue occasionally, if there are no drug interactions.

Hey, yanno? I remember when I was a tike and asked if I could have a beer like dad, he'd always give me a sip of his, and that was usually enough. So, in an adequately supervised environment etc.

But outside the home? Tattoos? Piercings? Smoking? I think you also have to weigh the impact such leniency might have upon classmates and other peers. Won't this inspire other classmates to use the example your child sets, as leverage in their own pursuit of decadence?

I can remember a few instances where mom admonished me "If you continue to do XX, I won't be able to show my face in the neighborhood"... and that was like the ultimate wake up call, that your own behavior had consequences beyond your own skin.

And what about all the gossip between neighbors? Between teachers? Between employers?

This is bigger than just "Oh little Herkimier will never live to regret it, so where's the harm?"

What difference does it makes that the child is dying? Would one give a child these things if the child was well??? One would think you would want that child to have happy things like playing in the ocean or playing with family til their final day. I know many children like to have a ride on a fire engine and the local fire company give that child a ride.

What difference does it makes that the child is dying? Would one give a child these things if the child was well??? One would think you would want that child to have happy things like playing in the ocean or playing with family til their final day. I know many children like to have a ride on a fire engine and the local fire company give that child a ride.

I guess I feel the main purpose for discipling a child is to prepare them for adulthood, so the question is, if the child was never going to reach adulthood, should they just be allowed to do pretty much anything they wish. When I was a child I DID wanna smoke, drink and do the things that I saw adults do, so if I wasn't going to make it to adulthood, should my parents had just been like, "Sure, why not" What would really be the point in not letting me do those things. If I had a healthy child who was not going to die and they wanted to smoke, I'd be like, "No! But when you're old enough, you can make your own decision on that and hopefully it will be a good one" BUT if the child was not going to make it to adulthood.... it's hard to know what the right thing would be

This is one of the creepiest threads I've ever seen here.

If we knew the child was gonna die before they were 12, does that mean we should allow them to "run with scissors" too? afterall, where's the harm?

At the root of this question is the premise of "what if the mores of society were meaningless?".....and imo that slippery slope is just too steep.

And the thought of how many ways that might go wrong preclude a simple answer.

Well, here's a case where a woman in New York allowed her 10 year old to get a tattoo, and both her as well as the tattoo artist were arrested as a consequence.

https://www.kxnet.com/news/mom-tattoo-artist-arrested-after-10-year-old-child-gets-arm-tattoo-police-say/

Now if someone could just persuade Harrison Bader to keep that nasty looking mouth guard in his mouth.

I never had children, but if I had a child with a terminal illness would do whatever possible to make the child as comfortable as humanly possible. If I had the means and the child was healthy enough, would take them to Disneyland or something incredible and try to allow them to have as much fun in the little time they have left. Maybe try to teach my child about God to give him hope of Heaven instead of Death. Religion exists to give people hope of a life beyond death. I am scared of death and not looking forward to it and see myself at very most having 25 years left (probably closer to twenty if that). I asked my then 88 year old father about death and if there was any fear and he went "Hell No", he lived a mostly good life and it is nature. At least he is brave about the end that meets us all.

I couldnt imagine, and what does a child think that they are going to die at their age and never grow up? I had an older brother who died about two years before I was born of mennegitis. He was eight years old and fell off a bicycle. From a man who went to school with my brother, my father was teaching him to ride a bike and fell down and the nightmare began. I was never told the specifics of what happened. There are a few pictures of him in the house but not many. I knew about him but would forget he existed and thought I was my parent's only child. They very very rarely spoke of him. My mother died in 2018 and my father married another woman (a nice lady), and she told me she asked my father about my brother and my father went "I dont want to talk about it". But my parents found some old photos and one picture was with my grandparents, my parents and my brother. He would be 64 now.

The late President, George Herbert Walker Bush (known as 41, to distinguish from his son) and his wife lost their first daughter Robin who died when she was three of Luekemia. The child was healthy and happy and then got sick, after a time they went to the doctor to see what was wrong and got the news. The doctor more or less told them it was terminal, no hope, take your child home and make her as comfortable as you can. George and his wife did everything they could with their vast resources to help their child to no avail.

They say a child should never die before their parents but it happens all the time.