Frank Gannucci
05-05-2022, 07:59 AM
A Honeymooners Mothers Day:
(The Kramdens and Nortons are at Yankee Stadium.)
Ralph: “Boy Alice, tonight is going to be a treat. We will see the Yankees face the Red Sox in the Bronx.”
Alice: “I got another surprise for you Ralph. I am bringing two guests.”
Ralph: “Who are they?”
Alice: “For Mothers Day, my parents.”
Ralph: “Oooh.”
(Ralph goes into the bedroom. He comes back out.)
Ralph (yells): “WHAT?”
Alice: “My mother is coming and you will be nice to her.”
Ralph: “I will be nice to her. That’s impossible. We don’t get along. We’re enemies. Natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose.”
Alice: “Relax Ralph.”
Ed: “Yeah Ralph. She may be the biggest Yankee fan ever. Maybe literally not as you.”
Ralph: “Oooh, you’re a riot Norton. A real riot.”
(Alice’s parents come. They are wearing Boston Red Sox attire.)
Alice’s Mom: “Hi Sonny Boy. We are here for the Yankees to get Soxed. I pull for two teams. Boston and Whomever beats the Yankees.”
(Ralph has got a mean look in his eyes.)
Ed: “Hey Ralph, don’t get a heart attack if she causes the Yankees to lose. Let her enjoy herself. It’s Mothers Day.”
Ralph: “Norton, you are going to get it.”
(During the game, Ralph softens up to Alice’s mother. He even buys her hot dogs.)
Ralph: “Well Mom, I am glad your enjoying yourself. Now that the Yankees are one pitch away from beating Boston. Happy Mother’s Day.”
Alice’s Mom: “Thank you Ralph. Oh, a Red Sox player just shot a ball. I will go get it. It’s a home run anyway.”
(She grabs the ball just a second before a Yankee player can get it.This ticks off Ralph and it causes a grand slam home run.)
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE A TROUBLEMAKER. A TROU-BLE-MAKER. PUT ‘EM UP! PUT ‘EM UP!”
(She does. Ralph runs away which causes people to laugh at him.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The Kramdens and Nortons are at Yankee Stadium.)
Ralph: “Boy Alice, tonight is going to be a treat. We will see the Yankees face the Red Sox in the Bronx.”
Alice: “I got another surprise for you Ralph. I am bringing two guests.”
Ralph: “Who are they?”
Alice: “For Mothers Day, my parents.”
Ralph: “Oooh.”
(Ralph goes into the bedroom. He comes back out.)
Ralph (yells): “WHAT?”
Alice: “My mother is coming and you will be nice to her.”
Ralph: “I will be nice to her. That’s impossible. We don’t get along. We’re enemies. Natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose.”
Alice: “Relax Ralph.”
Ed: “Yeah Ralph. She may be the biggest Yankee fan ever. Maybe literally not as you.”
Ralph: “Oooh, you’re a riot Norton. A real riot.”
(Alice’s parents come. They are wearing Boston Red Sox attire.)
Alice’s Mom: “Hi Sonny Boy. We are here for the Yankees to get Soxed. I pull for two teams. Boston and Whomever beats the Yankees.”
(Ralph has got a mean look in his eyes.)
Ed: “Hey Ralph, don’t get a heart attack if she causes the Yankees to lose. Let her enjoy herself. It’s Mothers Day.”
Ralph: “Norton, you are going to get it.”
(During the game, Ralph softens up to Alice’s mother. He even buys her hot dogs.)
Ralph: “Well Mom, I am glad your enjoying yourself. Now that the Yankees are one pitch away from beating Boston. Happy Mother’s Day.”
Alice’s Mom: “Thank you Ralph. Oh, a Red Sox player just shot a ball. I will go get it. It’s a home run anyway.”
(She grabs the ball just a second before a Yankee player can get it.This ticks off Ralph and it causes a grand slam home run.)
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE A TROUBLEMAKER. A TROU-BLE-MAKER. PUT ‘EM UP! PUT ‘EM UP!”
(She does. Ralph runs away which causes people to laugh at him.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)