View Full Version : Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan?


Frank Gannucci
04-17-2022, 06:54 PM
(The Boston Celtics beat the Brooklyn Nets 115-114.)

(The Kramdens & Norton’s return home from the Barclays Center.)

(The girls enter into the apartment.)

Alice: “Trixie, were you ever so embarrassed by our boys?”

Trixie: “No, I haven’t. We were sitting in the front row and our boys caused so much trouble by hurling insults at the Celtics players. I thought it was going to be a repeat of what happened in Detroit with the Malice At The Palace.”

(The boys enter. Ralph & Ed’s Brooklyn Nets don’t even fit them.)

Ralph: “Those Nets were ROBBED NORTON.”

Ed: “Geee, what a shame.”

Alice: “Did you boys have to act like that?”

Ralph: “Alice, we were robbed. The lousy refs screwed the Nets. The Nets are the best team in the playoffs.”

Alice: “Ralph, they are the EIGHTH seed.”

Ralph: “I don’t care. We need more excitement in Brooklyn. Plus, did you see the excitement that me and Norton created?”

Alice: “Oh, I’m so sorry Ralph. I didn’t think you wanted to be the star of the show called Malice At The Barclays.”

Ralph: “Oooh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot. Everyone needs excitement.”

(They all sing a song about needing excitement.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

opus
04-17-2022, 10:11 PM
The game was in Boston. Why were they at Barclays? Cheaper seats?

Frank Gannucci
04-17-2022, 10:59 PM
I think for this storyline, we will pretend the game is in Brooklyn.

opus
04-17-2022, 11:14 PM
I think for this storyline, we will pretend the game is in Brooklyn.

You’re the author. One more minor point, then I’ll leave you alone. Nets are the 7 seed, not 8.

Frank Gannucci
04-18-2022, 09:56 AM
You’re the author. One more minor point, then I’ll leave you alone. Nets are the 7 seed, not 8.
Thank you.

Frank Gannucci
04-20-2022, 09:58 PM
(The Boston Celtics beat the Brooklyn Nets 114-107.)

(Ralph & Ed just came home from watching the game. They are all upset.)

Alice: "Ralph, I see that your beloved Nets lost again."

Ralph: You can say that again Alice. How about that Nets player that tried to block a shot that caused the Celtics to score? How bad was that? When was the last time you saw something like that?"

Alice: "You Ralph when you blocked a shot during that Raccoon Basketball game. Not only did you look like a fool, you almost fell through the court."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph: "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Ed: "I can't help it Ralph. That was so funny."

Ralph: "Now, the Nets really need our help. They really need our help."

Ed: "This news may make you proud Ralph."

Ralph: "What is it Ed?"

Ed: "I read in the paper that the odds of Nets winning are big?"

Ralph: "Yeah. That's great that the odds of them winning the series are great."

Ed: "Series? I meant game 2 tonight."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: "Oooooh."

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
04-23-2022, 10:28 PM
The Boston Celtics beat the Brooklyn Nets 110-103.)

(Ralph just watched the game at Ed’s apartment.)

Ralph: “What are we going to do Norton? The Nets are now down by three games.”

Ed: “The poor team. The poor fat little team.”

Ralph: “We ought to rally this whole neighborhood into supporting this team. This team could make history as the first NBA team to win a four game series after losing the first three.”

Ed: “That’s something Ralph. Maybe we can get on ESPN.”

Ralph: “We will be famous. Our faces will be on the front page of every newspaper in the country.”

Ed: “Gsrrity will be so jealous and upset.”

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): “GARRITY, THE NETS WILL WIN THE SERIES YOU LOUDMOUTH. WHO’S THE BIGGEST LOSER IN THE BUILDING?”

All (yells): “RALPH KRAMDEN.”

(Ralph slams the window and it breaks.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci
04-25-2022, 09:52 PM
(The Boston Celtics won the Eastern Conference Divisional Finals, 4 games to 0, by beating the Brooklyn Nets 116-112.)

(Ralph & Ed enter the bus company locker room and are greeted by Joe Fenstablau.)

Joe: "Hello boys. Looks like your Nets GOT OWNED."

Ralph: "You can say that again Joe. How pathetic were the Nets lost in four games?"

Ed: "Very pathetic."

Ralph: "I never thought I would see the Celtics advance this year."

Joe: "I did. The Celtics are that good. We may see the Celtics add another NBA title to their history."

Ed: "We hope their luck runs out."

Ralph: "I agree. I want the Celtics to suffer what I can Sweep Syndrome where the team sweeps one series and because of that performs badly in the next round."

Joe: "Well so long boys."

(Joe leaves.)

Ed: "Maybe the Nets will get better next year. I got an idea of how they can."

Ralph: "What is that?"

Ed: "The Nets merge with the Celtics and absorb into the Celtics."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)