Frank Gannucci
04-12-2022, 10:44 AM
A Honeymooners Income Tax Day:
(Ralph & Ed are looking at Lady Liberty.)
Ed: “Boy Ralph, here it is Income Tax Day. We actually got our taxes done. It’s late at night. Look at our beautiful city.”
Ralph: “Not as nice as Miami Beach though.”
(Crowd cheers.)
Ralph: “Well, time to go to the IRS office. I got our taxes in a folder in my hand. Hahaha.”
Ed: “Ralph, it’s…” (slapping Ralph’s back which causes him to drop the taxes into the water): “…GOOD that we got our taxes done.”
(Ed looks at the water.)
Ed: “Sheesh.”
Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE! YOU MADE ME DROP OUR TAXES. NOW, WE ARE EITHER GOING TO JAIL OR YOU WILL GO GET THEM NOW!”
Ed: “I will do it Ralph. I work in the sewer. But, on one condition. That you come. I need a bodyguard to scare all the sharks. They will think you are a whale.”
Ralph (yells): “OOOOH, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT.”
(They go into the heavily polluted East River and they somehow get the taxes. Meanwhile at the IRS office, Alice’s Mother and Alice are there because she accompanied her to file her taxes. They see the boys.)
Alice: “Ralph, what happened?”
Ralph: “This idiot made me drop the taxes into the East River. We had to dive in and get them and if you say ‘I told you so.’ about me procrastinating, you will get YOURS.”
(They March into the window. It’s 11:59 pm.)
IRS: “These taxes are wet.”
Ed: “You see, it’s a long story. After we fished our taxes out of the East River, we came here via the sewer. I work in the sewer.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
IRS: “They are acceptable. You got it.”
(Ralph faints in happiness.)
(A still soaked Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
(Ralph & Ed are looking at Lady Liberty.)
Ed: “Boy Ralph, here it is Income Tax Day. We actually got our taxes done. It’s late at night. Look at our beautiful city.”
Ralph: “Not as nice as Miami Beach though.”
(Crowd cheers.)
Ralph: “Well, time to go to the IRS office. I got our taxes in a folder in my hand. Hahaha.”
Ed: “Ralph, it’s…” (slapping Ralph’s back which causes him to drop the taxes into the water): “…GOOD that we got our taxes done.”
(Ed looks at the water.)
Ed: “Sheesh.”
Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE! YOU MADE ME DROP OUR TAXES. NOW, WE ARE EITHER GOING TO JAIL OR YOU WILL GO GET THEM NOW!”
Ed: “I will do it Ralph. I work in the sewer. But, on one condition. That you come. I need a bodyguard to scare all the sharks. They will think you are a whale.”
Ralph (yells): “OOOOH, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT.”
(They go into the heavily polluted East River and they somehow get the taxes. Meanwhile at the IRS office, Alice’s Mother and Alice are there because she accompanied her to file her taxes. They see the boys.)
Alice: “Ralph, what happened?”
Ralph: “This idiot made me drop the taxes into the East River. We had to dive in and get them and if you say ‘I told you so.’ about me procrastinating, you will get YOURS.”
(They March into the window. It’s 11:59 pm.)
IRS: “These taxes are wet.”
Ed: “You see, it’s a long story. After we fished our taxes out of the East River, we came here via the sewer. I work in the sewer.”
(Ralph elbows Ed.)
IRS: “They are acceptable. You got it.”
(Ralph faints in happiness.)
(A still soaked Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)