View Full Version : Anyone Remember "The Mean Librarian" Episode?


Jack1000
07-18-2002, 10:56 PM
Easily my favorite Married With Children Episode of all time! That was Ms. Degroot! It's the one where AL has to return "The Little Engine That Could" when it's been overdue for 30 years! My dad quotes lines from this episode all the time!

Even the best "bad food" line is from this episode! (Use this on someone you know that can't cook or doesn't know when to throw food away)

Marcy (to Peg) "Peggy, did you know that this popcorn says "use before May 11th, 1972?"

Peggy (sarcasticlly) "Marcy, if you read it carefully it says..."BEST if used before May 11th, 1972!"

And then the library scenes, which are so reminicent of the librarian at my high school! (she was that mean!)

Ms Degroot, "Young Mr. Bundy. (flashback) The DEVIL BOY" you want to check these (books) out, but you can't! Do you know why?"

Al: "Cause I don't bring you french fries like the other boys do?"

Ms Degroot: "Your a HORRIBLE little boy, you can't have these books because you are consistently overdue, you never have the money to pay, and looking at you now I doubt you ever will."

Al: "Can I have them?, I've got a book report due tomorrow?"

Ms. Degroot: 'You may take just ONE book!"

Al: "Hey, be fair can you eat just one pig!"

Ms. Degroot, "Your a HORRIBLE little boy! I'll let you have "The Little Engine That Could" on the basis you might learn something, though we both know you won't! Do you think anyone can teach you anything!

Al: "While you just taught me that even the slightest movement can make a fat person sweat!"

Ms Degroot: "Your a HORRIBLE little boy, your a bad seed Bundy I wish that on you! To be the failure you deserve!"

Then she gives him the book and makes him promise to bring it back on time, "I always told you! Make a promise, keep a promise!" Al answers "Yea, yea, bake a pie, eat a pie!"

Then when he gets the nerve to return the book, (Forward to present)Degroot is waiting for him with murder in her eyes! Al says startled, "Your Alive!" and she says "And YOU owe us $2,457! Now will you be paying cash, or foodstamps!" Then later on she says, "I would have given you amnisty on the book like I do for anyone else, but I always hated you!" Is it wrong to hate a 9-year old boy? No! Not when that boy is you!"

Can someone post Al's great speach hear about "Every day when I get up in the morning I know it's not going to get any better so I go back to sleep again." (It's from this episode, and it might be one of the greatest silioquy's ever written in any sitcom.) I call it, "Tribute to the Poor Working Man" but I can't remember exactly how it goes! Thanks!

Jack

Anna4
02-03-2003, 07:16 PM
I remember that episode, i like the part when they show Al pushing the ladder in slow motion on the news show and he puts the book back in.

Mcfly
02-05-2003, 02:13 PM
"Hey, man, don't Bundy that book."

Ericguy
02-13-2003, 01:24 PM
In the best lines you forgot,

AL "I returned that book"

Degrut " I would have remembered if you had"

"You weren't here"

" I am always here"

"Not that day. That was the day of the big cake heist. You were rounded up for questioning"


Here is some of Al's speech

Everyday when I get up I know it's not going to get any better until I back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down TANG and still frozen pop tart, fight the traffic, and go to a stinking job I hate just to put shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I will never play football like I wanted, I will never know the touch of a beautiful women, and I will never again know the luxury of driving without a bag on my head. But the fact that I have not put a gun in my mouth you pudding of a women, makes me a winner!"

The fact that I know that from memory is a testament to just how great that episode is. I have watched it every time it was and still laugh when I see it. Maybe the best married show ever. Maybe on volume 2 of the series it will be included.

BundyBoy10
04-26-2003, 05:43 PM
That was a great episode! One of my favorites! Ms. Degroot ws hilarious and the whole concept really started the 3rd season off on the right foot. He though he could was the title btw. :)

ClassicTV4Ever
04-26-2003, 06:24 PM
Originally posted by BundyBoy10
That was a great episode! One of my favorites! Ms. Degroot ws hilarious and the whole concept really started the 3rd season off on the right foot. He though he could was the title btw. :)

You mean "The Little Engine That Could"? :)