Jack's Beatle Poster
08-25-2001, 03:34 PM
ALL IN THE FAMILY FAN FICTION by Dustin Viney
August 25, 2001
"Edith's Visitor"
Special Guest Star: Jennilee Harrison as Cindy Snow
once upon a time, during the later years of All In The Family...
*pardon some of my spelling, I was typing too fast!!*
(Edith is in the kitchen chopping carrots into little peices & humming)
(Little Stephanie is sitting at the kitchen table doing her home work)
Edith: La de de doo doo...Hmm hmm hmmmm...moooon riiiiiverrr!!
(Edith tosses the chopped carrots into a pot filled with broth)
(She gets out some tomatoes and starts chopping them)
Steffy: What are you making, aunt Edith?
Edith: I'm making stew tonite, Steffy!
Steffy: Oh. Okay.
Edith: Da da daaa....moon riiiiiiiverrrr!!!!...
(Steffy plugs her ears, sticks out her toung and crosses her eyes)
Edith: La de deeeee....*singing louder* moooon riiiiiverrrrr!!!!!!!
(Steffy sighs and gathers all her work together and heads to the living room)
(Archie comes in the front door)
Archie: *as he hangs up his coat* No good filthy pinkos!! Always...
(Steffy runs up to Archie and hugs him)
Steffy: Hi uncle Archie!
Archie: Oh hiya there kido. EDITH, I'M HOME, HERE!
(Edith runs out of the kitchen)
Edith: *as she runs* Arrrr-ch--ie-ie-ie!! *hugs him* Your home! *kisses his cheeck*
Archie: I know that Edit'! Quit slobberin'! Why isn't supper on the table heh?!
Edith: Tonite we're having vegtable stew!
Archie: Well where is it, I sure don't see it on the table over there!
Edith: That's cause we're havin' company tonite, Archie! And so--
Archie: Aw holy geez, there you go again inviting another one of your giddy friends without asking me first!! I'm the man of the house around here, Edit'! I decide if we have company or not and tonite is a big NO!
Edith: But Archie, I haven't seen her in ova' 8 years! And she flew alll the way from LA 'fer a job interview and she needs a place to stay for the weekend and I already told her yes!
Archie; Well I say NO! She can stay in a hotel!! Now you get whatshername on the horn there and tell her she's not welcome here!!
Edith: Oh but Archie I can't, she's already on her way in a cab now, she'll be here in a few minutes!
Archie: Getting back on the main subject, Edit' where's dinner?!
Edith: It's cookin', Archie, it's cookin'!
Archie: A man works hard all day. He comes home and expects to see dinna' on the table there!
Edith: Oh Archie *pinches his cheeck* your so cute when you get angry! *giggles*
(Steffy laughs)
Archie: Edit' how many times do I gotta tell ya, don't fondle me when I get home from work! What are you laughin' at little goil!
Steffy: Nothin'!
Archie: You should know better than to do a thing like that in front of the n-e-p-h-e-w, Edit'!
Steffy: I'm your neice, uncle Archie.
Archie: Hey hey hey! You better watch that smart mouth of yours there!
Edith: *sniffing the air* Ohh my! My stew!! *runs into the kitchen*
Archie: Eh, while yer in there Edith, how 'bout at least bringing me a beer, huh?!
Edith: *from kitchen* Okayy Archie!!
(Archie sits down in his chair, puts on his reading glasses, and reads the newspaper)
(Steffy sits down in Edith's chair and finishes her home work)
(Doorbell rings)
Archie: Aw geez!! A man can't even sit down and read the paper without lousy company throwin' there weight around!
Steffy: I'll get it!! *runs to the door*
Archie: Tell 'em to go to hell will ya, kiddo?
(Steffy answers the door)
(Jennilee Harrison as Cindy Snow is at the door)
Steffy: Hi! You must be Cindy, aunt Edith's friend!
Cindy: I sure am! Hi!
(Archie hides himself behind the news paper)
Steffy: I'm Stephanie.
Cindy: Hello there Stephanie!
Steffy: Just a sec, I'll get aunt Edith.
Cindy: Okay!
Steffy: *stands by Archie's chair and screams* AUNT EDITH!!!!
Archie: HOLY GEEZ!!! *covers his ears*
(Edith rushes in with a beer)
Edith: Heeeere's your beeer Ar--OHH CINDY! *drops the beer on the floor and it explodes*
Cindy: Edith!!
(Edith runs over to Cindy and hugs her)
Archie: *thows down the newspaper* AWW GEEEZ LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BEER, EDIT'!!!!
(Steffy sits back down on the chair)
Edith: Oh! I'm sorry Archie! I'll get you another one! Cindy, why don't you come in and make yourself comfy on the couch! Dinner will be ready in a few minutes! *runs to the kitchen*
Cindy: Okay!!
(Cindy slams the door hard & a window breaks)
Cindy: Oops! I'm so sorry about that!!
Archie: LOOK WHAT YOU DID THERE!!! NOW YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA PAY 'FER THAT!!!
(Steffy giggles)
Cindy: Hey, I don't believe we've met! You must be Archie! *holds out her hand*
Archie: *stares at her palm* the hell do youse want, a tip?
Cindy: No silly! Friendly hand shake!
Archie: Oh yeh. Right. *shakes her hand* Uh eh how do ya do there.
(Edith walks out of the kitchen with a beer)
Edith: *walking over to Archie* Here's your beer, Archie! *notices the hand shake* Awww isn't that nice!
Archie: Give it to me will youse!! Don't just stand there gawking at us like you was some sorta
pre-vert! *grabs the beer out of Edith's hand*
Edith: Dinner will be ready shortly! You two just sit and get accquanted! *trots off into the kitchen humming*
(Archie opens his beer and sips it then burps)
Cindy: So! Archie, why don't you show me around! I'd love to see the upstares!
Archie: Why? There aint nothin' up there but the terlet. *takes a sip & burps*
Cindy: But Archie, isn't my room up there?!
Steffy: Here Cindy, I'll show you to our room! We're gonna be room mates!
Cindy: Okay!
(Steffy runs up stares)
Cindy: Nice meetin' ya Arch! *goes to shake his hand, but she makes him drop his beer all over his lap*
Archie: OHH GEEZ LOOKIT THAT!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW!!!
Cindy: Oh I'm so sorry, Archie! Here, lemme clean it up! *takes a napkin and trys to wipe up the beer all over Archie's lap*
Archie: *pushes her hand away* Woah woah woah!! I'll handle it from here, youse go upstares!!
Cindy: I'm so so sorry Archie! *grabs her bags and heads upstares*
Archie: EDIT'! EDITH, COME OUT HERE!
(Edith comes out of the kitchen)
Edith: Yeah Archie?
Archie: That woman has got to GO!
Edith: Oh Archie!! Why don't you just give her a chance?? She's a very sweet girl!
Archie: Oh yeh very sweet, very sweet! You call this very sweet?!! *points to the spilled beer all over his lap*
Edith: Oh Archie! What happend there?! Did you have a little accident? *giggles*
Archie: Oh yeah, laugh it up laugh it up!!
Edith: Why don't you go upstares an' change, Archie? Dinner's almost done! And I'll get ya anotha beer! *giggle*
(Archie starts to walk upstares but slips on the 3rd step because Cindy dropped one of her socks on the step from her bags)
(Archie falls on his back)
Archie: *lying down* EDITH!!! MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! I SWEAR THAT WOMAN IS TRYING TO KILL ME BY DA END OF THE DAY!!
(Edith walks in)
Edith: Oh Archie, get up off the floor, silly! Dinners ready.
Archie: Well help me up, will youse?!!
Edith: *kneels down on the ground* DINNER'S READY!!! *helps Archie up*
Archie: Ow geez are you tryin' to blow my ears out?! *stands and dusts himself off, blocking the final bottom step*
Cindy: We're coming, Edith!
(Cindy runs down the stares and knocks Archie down when she reaches the final steps)
Cindy: Oh no!! Mister Bunker, are you hurt?!!!
Archie: *lying on his back again* Only a fractured skull, that's all!!
Edith: Oh my!!! Archie!
Cindy: Ohhh I'm so sorry!!!
*Edith and Cindy help him up*
Cindy: Gee, mister Bunker! What can I do to make all this up to you??
Archie: Just help Edith get supper on the table will youse?!!
Cindy: Yes sir!
(Edith and Cindy run to the kitchen)
(Edith and Cindy pour the stew into 4 bowls)
Cindy: Edith, I feel terrible about all of this!
Edith: Oh don't worry about it, it's not 'yer fault! Archie is always clumsy like that! *giggles*
(Steffy comes down stares)
Archie: *sitting at the dinner table* Hey kiddo. Come ova here.
(Steffy jumps into Archie's lap)
Archie: Oww geez, I've had enough torture down there for one day, gimme some breathin' room will youse?!!
Steffy: Sorry uncle Archie.
Archie: Sorry...ugh...I never wanna hear that word again, it means nothin'. Anyways kiddo, have you noticed that Cindy is a little bit on the, what do ya call, cukoo side?
Steffy: She's just a little clumsy that's all. She broke the vase on my nightstand.
Archie: Ohh boy. It figures.
end of part one.
what does cindy do to archie at the dinner table? find out on part two, coming soon.
------------------
When you gotta gun
in your hand, your
free to make any speech
you want!!-Archie Bunker
STANLEY: The car was overheated,
Helen!
HELEN: So was I!!
MARGE: Kids can be so
cruel!
BART: We can? Thanks, Mom!
(Bart socks Lisa)
LISA: Oww!!
HELEN: Stanley, you got
2 choices. You either
put your pants on and take
me to that resturant...
Or leave them off and we
could stay here and
have fun!
KIMBERLY: Willis, you gotta
do something about that
bathroom.
WILLIS: Like what?
KIMBERLY: Like not leaving
the seat up.
WILLIS: That's Arnold.
ARNOLD: No way, I stand
on the seat!
August 25, 2001
"Edith's Visitor"
Special Guest Star: Jennilee Harrison as Cindy Snow
once upon a time, during the later years of All In The Family...
*pardon some of my spelling, I was typing too fast!!*
(Edith is in the kitchen chopping carrots into little peices & humming)
(Little Stephanie is sitting at the kitchen table doing her home work)
Edith: La de de doo doo...Hmm hmm hmmmm...moooon riiiiiverrr!!
(Edith tosses the chopped carrots into a pot filled with broth)
(She gets out some tomatoes and starts chopping them)
Steffy: What are you making, aunt Edith?
Edith: I'm making stew tonite, Steffy!
Steffy: Oh. Okay.
Edith: Da da daaa....moon riiiiiiiverrrr!!!!...
(Steffy plugs her ears, sticks out her toung and crosses her eyes)
Edith: La de deeeee....*singing louder* moooon riiiiiverrrrr!!!!!!!
(Steffy sighs and gathers all her work together and heads to the living room)
(Archie comes in the front door)
Archie: *as he hangs up his coat* No good filthy pinkos!! Always...
(Steffy runs up to Archie and hugs him)
Steffy: Hi uncle Archie!
Archie: Oh hiya there kido. EDITH, I'M HOME, HERE!
(Edith runs out of the kitchen)
Edith: *as she runs* Arrrr-ch--ie-ie-ie!! *hugs him* Your home! *kisses his cheeck*
Archie: I know that Edit'! Quit slobberin'! Why isn't supper on the table heh?!
Edith: Tonite we're having vegtable stew!
Archie: Well where is it, I sure don't see it on the table over there!
Edith: That's cause we're havin' company tonite, Archie! And so--
Archie: Aw holy geez, there you go again inviting another one of your giddy friends without asking me first!! I'm the man of the house around here, Edit'! I decide if we have company or not and tonite is a big NO!
Edith: But Archie, I haven't seen her in ova' 8 years! And she flew alll the way from LA 'fer a job interview and she needs a place to stay for the weekend and I already told her yes!
Archie; Well I say NO! She can stay in a hotel!! Now you get whatshername on the horn there and tell her she's not welcome here!!
Edith: Oh but Archie I can't, she's already on her way in a cab now, she'll be here in a few minutes!
Archie: Getting back on the main subject, Edit' where's dinner?!
Edith: It's cookin', Archie, it's cookin'!
Archie: A man works hard all day. He comes home and expects to see dinna' on the table there!
Edith: Oh Archie *pinches his cheeck* your so cute when you get angry! *giggles*
(Steffy laughs)
Archie: Edit' how many times do I gotta tell ya, don't fondle me when I get home from work! What are you laughin' at little goil!
Steffy: Nothin'!
Archie: You should know better than to do a thing like that in front of the n-e-p-h-e-w, Edit'!
Steffy: I'm your neice, uncle Archie.
Archie: Hey hey hey! You better watch that smart mouth of yours there!
Edith: *sniffing the air* Ohh my! My stew!! *runs into the kitchen*
Archie: Eh, while yer in there Edith, how 'bout at least bringing me a beer, huh?!
Edith: *from kitchen* Okayy Archie!!
(Archie sits down in his chair, puts on his reading glasses, and reads the newspaper)
(Steffy sits down in Edith's chair and finishes her home work)
(Doorbell rings)
Archie: Aw geez!! A man can't even sit down and read the paper without lousy company throwin' there weight around!
Steffy: I'll get it!! *runs to the door*
Archie: Tell 'em to go to hell will ya, kiddo?
(Steffy answers the door)
(Jennilee Harrison as Cindy Snow is at the door)
Steffy: Hi! You must be Cindy, aunt Edith's friend!
Cindy: I sure am! Hi!
(Archie hides himself behind the news paper)
Steffy: I'm Stephanie.
Cindy: Hello there Stephanie!
Steffy: Just a sec, I'll get aunt Edith.
Cindy: Okay!
Steffy: *stands by Archie's chair and screams* AUNT EDITH!!!!
Archie: HOLY GEEZ!!! *covers his ears*
(Edith rushes in with a beer)
Edith: Heeeere's your beeer Ar--OHH CINDY! *drops the beer on the floor and it explodes*
Cindy: Edith!!
(Edith runs over to Cindy and hugs her)
Archie: *thows down the newspaper* AWW GEEEZ LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BEER, EDIT'!!!!
(Steffy sits back down on the chair)
Edith: Oh! I'm sorry Archie! I'll get you another one! Cindy, why don't you come in and make yourself comfy on the couch! Dinner will be ready in a few minutes! *runs to the kitchen*
Cindy: Okay!!
(Cindy slams the door hard & a window breaks)
Cindy: Oops! I'm so sorry about that!!
Archie: LOOK WHAT YOU DID THERE!!! NOW YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA PAY 'FER THAT!!!
(Steffy giggles)
Cindy: Hey, I don't believe we've met! You must be Archie! *holds out her hand*
Archie: *stares at her palm* the hell do youse want, a tip?
Cindy: No silly! Friendly hand shake!
Archie: Oh yeh. Right. *shakes her hand* Uh eh how do ya do there.
(Edith walks out of the kitchen with a beer)
Edith: *walking over to Archie* Here's your beer, Archie! *notices the hand shake* Awww isn't that nice!
Archie: Give it to me will youse!! Don't just stand there gawking at us like you was some sorta
pre-vert! *grabs the beer out of Edith's hand*
Edith: Dinner will be ready shortly! You two just sit and get accquanted! *trots off into the kitchen humming*
(Archie opens his beer and sips it then burps)
Cindy: So! Archie, why don't you show me around! I'd love to see the upstares!
Archie: Why? There aint nothin' up there but the terlet. *takes a sip & burps*
Cindy: But Archie, isn't my room up there?!
Steffy: Here Cindy, I'll show you to our room! We're gonna be room mates!
Cindy: Okay!
(Steffy runs up stares)
Cindy: Nice meetin' ya Arch! *goes to shake his hand, but she makes him drop his beer all over his lap*
Archie: OHH GEEZ LOOKIT THAT!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW!!!
Cindy: Oh I'm so sorry, Archie! Here, lemme clean it up! *takes a napkin and trys to wipe up the beer all over Archie's lap*
Archie: *pushes her hand away* Woah woah woah!! I'll handle it from here, youse go upstares!!
Cindy: I'm so so sorry Archie! *grabs her bags and heads upstares*
Archie: EDIT'! EDITH, COME OUT HERE!
(Edith comes out of the kitchen)
Edith: Yeah Archie?
Archie: That woman has got to GO!
Edith: Oh Archie!! Why don't you just give her a chance?? She's a very sweet girl!
Archie: Oh yeh very sweet, very sweet! You call this very sweet?!! *points to the spilled beer all over his lap*
Edith: Oh Archie! What happend there?! Did you have a little accident? *giggles*
Archie: Oh yeah, laugh it up laugh it up!!
Edith: Why don't you go upstares an' change, Archie? Dinner's almost done! And I'll get ya anotha beer! *giggle*
(Archie starts to walk upstares but slips on the 3rd step because Cindy dropped one of her socks on the step from her bags)
(Archie falls on his back)
Archie: *lying down* EDITH!!! MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! I SWEAR THAT WOMAN IS TRYING TO KILL ME BY DA END OF THE DAY!!
(Edith walks in)
Edith: Oh Archie, get up off the floor, silly! Dinners ready.
Archie: Well help me up, will youse?!!
Edith: *kneels down on the ground* DINNER'S READY!!! *helps Archie up*
Archie: Ow geez are you tryin' to blow my ears out?! *stands and dusts himself off, blocking the final bottom step*
Cindy: We're coming, Edith!
(Cindy runs down the stares and knocks Archie down when she reaches the final steps)
Cindy: Oh no!! Mister Bunker, are you hurt?!!!
Archie: *lying on his back again* Only a fractured skull, that's all!!
Edith: Oh my!!! Archie!
Cindy: Ohhh I'm so sorry!!!
*Edith and Cindy help him up*
Cindy: Gee, mister Bunker! What can I do to make all this up to you??
Archie: Just help Edith get supper on the table will youse?!!
Cindy: Yes sir!
(Edith and Cindy run to the kitchen)
(Edith and Cindy pour the stew into 4 bowls)
Cindy: Edith, I feel terrible about all of this!
Edith: Oh don't worry about it, it's not 'yer fault! Archie is always clumsy like that! *giggles*
(Steffy comes down stares)
Archie: *sitting at the dinner table* Hey kiddo. Come ova here.
(Steffy jumps into Archie's lap)
Archie: Oww geez, I've had enough torture down there for one day, gimme some breathin' room will youse?!!
Steffy: Sorry uncle Archie.
Archie: Sorry...ugh...I never wanna hear that word again, it means nothin'. Anyways kiddo, have you noticed that Cindy is a little bit on the, what do ya call, cukoo side?
Steffy: She's just a little clumsy that's all. She broke the vase on my nightstand.
Archie: Ohh boy. It figures.
end of part one.
what does cindy do to archie at the dinner table? find out on part two, coming soon.
------------------
When you gotta gun
in your hand, your
free to make any speech
you want!!-Archie Bunker
STANLEY: The car was overheated,
Helen!
HELEN: So was I!!
MARGE: Kids can be so
cruel!
BART: We can? Thanks, Mom!
(Bart socks Lisa)
LISA: Oww!!
HELEN: Stanley, you got
2 choices. You either
put your pants on and take
me to that resturant...
Or leave them off and we
could stay here and
have fun!
KIMBERLY: Willis, you gotta
do something about that
bathroom.
WILLIS: Like what?
KIMBERLY: Like not leaving
the seat up.
WILLIS: That's Arnold.
ARNOLD: No way, I stand
on the seat!