Honeymooners Episode Reviews: Honeymooners Parody Skit in 1971, “Woman’s Lib”, “A Talk With Trixie”, “Jack & Julie" (in England and possibly the entire U.K., this special is called "Jack & Julie Together"), “Honeymooners 25th Anniversary Special: 'The Second Honeymoon'” & Honeymooners skit from ’67.

Honeymooners Parody Skit in 1971
DVD: Attached to "Jackie Gleason Presents: The Honeymooners: "Valentine's Special."
Air Year: 1971

"Honeymooners Parody Skit in 1971":

This DVD includes a Color Honeymooners Promo that is similar to the syndicated opening of the show but the clips differ. I believe MPI made that promo as there is no CBS announcer promoting the show.

When MPI originally announced that they were going to be releasing the "Second Honeymoon" & "Valentine's Special", they said that the bonuses were going to be Honeymooners skits from the 60s. This one is from '71 and it is from the TV Show called: "The Kopykats Kopy T.V." Alice (Shelia MacRae) is home at the Kramden apartment. The Kramden apartment for obvious reasons is a lot different from the real set but it is closer than the one that was on the Hollywood Palace and more closely resembles the set than the one in the Honeymooners Movie that everyone wants to forget. Alice says that supper is ready. Ralph (George Kerby) comes out. See, Cedric the Entertainer was not the first black person to play Ralph. George somewhat sounds like Ralph too. I should also mention that for this skit, they had Ralph being fat again. (In the last season of the Color Honeymooners, Jackie Gleason lost weight. To explain this on the show, they said that Ralph lost weight of course.) Alice was preparing a birthday cake for Ralph. Ralph is happy. He also got a card. Ralph: "It's written by hand." Alice: "I didn't know that you knew anybody that can write." The card: "To someone special n this special day/there is one thing I like to say/Your kind of man only happens once in a blue moon/and believe me, that is plenty, you big baboon" Ha! Ralph is "upset" but you can tell that George is not visibly upset.

Ed (Rich Little) comes in. He wishes Ralph a happy birthday. Rich sounds likes Ed too. Ralph: "Did you write that Norton?" Ed: "No, I don't have a pen that writes underwater." Alice: "You don't even know that Ed wrote that." Ed: "A man is innocent until he is proven guilty. That is the code of the sewer." Ralph asks Ed to sit down and write so he can tell for sure that Ed wrote that. Ed wipes the seat and warms up. Naturally, this upsets Ralph. Ralph yells at Ed to get on with the writing. Ed: "Gee, what a grouch. How do you spell baboon." Ralph: "How should I know?" Ed: "You are the baboon, aren't you?" Alice looks at the handwriting and knows it wasn't Ed that wrote that. Ralph realizes it too. Ralph is remorseful. Ed says that he wanted to come down and give Ralph his birthday present. His present? A long belt that according to Ed, went around two salesmen. Ed also gave Ralph a card. Ralph (reading the card): "Dear Ralph: On your birthday, I bought you a belt/to show you how I always felt/I sure hope it does a job and hold up the pants of a big, fat slob." Ralph is angry at Ed and chases Ed out.

Episode #221
TV: Attached to a bunch of other skits.
DVD: Attached to "The Match Game", "Double Trouble", "We're Off To See The Wizard" & "Operation Protest."
Air Date: Sat. 10/11/73

"Women's Lib":

This "episode" part of Jackie Gleason's 1973 CBS Special (that was brought to us by General Electric). This is also the last episode where Shelia MacRae plays Alice. For the longest time until 2002, nobody knew that this episode existed (at least according to Kevin James who hosted the 50th Anniversary Celebration). Nobody (except the Parlay Center of The Media and the UCLA) had it. Why UCLA has it is anyone's guess? (Maybe one of the Dean's was a Jackie Gleason fan.)

The episode opens up the same way as the Color episodes originally opened in the '69-70 season except a different guy (I think his name is Andre Valuch) is doing the announcing and no Glea Girls are shown. Gary Merrill is making a guest appearance. The screen then cuts directly to the episode just as a drum roll is heard. I wonder if that's when “AND AWAY WE GO!” was said as the special was starting. MPI doesn't have the rights to show the full special. Alice comes out. She turns on the faucet and the faucet is making such noises that you can tell the noises are not coming from the faucet. Trixie comes by and brings Alice a copy of Women's Lib Magazine that Barbara Walters was talking about. Who would have thought that as of 2010 that Barbara Walters would still be in the news field? Trixie mentions that in the magazine there is an article called: “Are You A Female Slave” that has ten questions. Trixie: “If you answered three of the questions with a no, then you are one. Trixie asks Alice the questions. Alice answers no to the first two questions. Trixie: “When you and your husband go to bed...” Alice: “No.” Trixie answered no to nine of the questions. So they are both female slaves. Alice picks up the magazine called: “Plaything” despite Trixie saying it was a Woman's Lib mag. “Plaything” was a real issue of a magazine only thing is the title is fake. The produces covered up the real name (I don't know what the name is) with “Plaything.” Alice looks at the centerfold. Trixie: “Is it Burt Reynolds?” It is Bert Parks' centerfold that they take a look at. The crowd laughs at the fact that Bert has a centerfold. Trixie: “That must hurt. Look where they put the staple.” Trix says that that magazine tells it like it is and the way it is rotten. Alice puts the magazine away and complains about how demanding Ralph is. Alice is ready for him tonight.

Ralph comes home. Looks like Jackie gained some weight. Alice complains to him on how he doesn't include her in his recreational activities and doesn't do his share in the household chores. Alice: “Do you understand?” Ralph: “No.” Ralph wonders what is going on. He is going bowling with Ed and wants Alice to cook up supper for him. Alice: “Call me 'Miss.'” Ralph says that the woman's lib has gotten to Alice but she's not the only one. A nun got on his bus and when he asked: “How you doing Sister?” She said: “Don't call me 'Sister', call me 'Siss.”” This whole conversation was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special and can also be found on Youtube. The only things are that the clip that is shown on both the special and the website hasn't been remastered but it is on this DVD and MPI chose a different camera angle while Ralph said his line. Ralph wants his supper NOW. Alice grabs a can and puts it on the table. Alice: “Here's your can and when you are finished with that, grab yourself a can of dessert. Ha ha ha ha.” Ralph is still upset. Ralph (to Trixie): “Don't you get involved. You are not a 'Miss.' You are a 'Mess.'” Ralph blames Trixie for starting the whole thing. Alice: “I want to be liberated.” Ralph: “Let's start liberating you from your teeth.” Alice: “Typical male reaction. Violence and threats.” Ralph: “It's not a threat. It is a promisss.” Trixie leaves.

Alice says that she wants to be equal. Alice: “I don't want to go through life like my mother. Weak and defenseless.” Ralph: “Your mother was weak and defenseless? She was the one that introduced alligator wrestling to Flatbush.” Alice is serious. She says that Ralph has had it too good for too long. She says that Ralph is going to help her with the cooking, washing and cleaning and he is going to involve her with his recreational activities. Ralph: “I can't take you bowling. You want to know why...You want to know why? CAUSE YOU CAN'T. THAT'S WHY.” Alice is upset. Alice: “From now on, cook your own meals, wash your own socks and make your own bed. I am going out to get a job. I will do the same thing that I do around here only for money.”

Ed comes down with his supper in a can. Ed wants a can opener. Ed doesn't think that Trixie is pushing him around. Ed: “I cook all the meals. She lets me.” Ed is in a hurry. He needs to clean clothes, wash the windows, scrub the floors, take Trixie out bowling and iron her dress so she can go out and look for a job tomorrow. Ralph says that Ed is a poor soul. He goes to get Ed the can opener in the dresser that Alice put the magazine in. He takes it out and looks at a centerfold of Bert Parks. A photo of him looking at this centerfold can be found in the very inaccurate Honeymooners Companion book which was made in 1978 (even though the book has NO INFORMATION about this episode whatsoever.) Ed (singing): “There he is. Mister America.” (not singing): “Va-va-va-voom!” I wonder if a casual fan saw this and questioned Ed's sexuality. Ralph: “Alice, are you turning into a sex maniac or something? How can you bring this trash, this smut into this house?” Alice: “It is not smut.” Ralph: “It isn't? Take a look at these articles? 'Are You Going To Take The Pill?' Are you going to take the pill? We have been married for 13 years.” 13 years? The years that the Kramdens have been married seems to go up and down huh? Ralph: “You taking the pill is like putting a band aid on a leper.” Alice: “I got something better than the pill. You. Ralph goes through the magazine. Ralph (reading): “'Why Not A Lady Astronaut?'” Alice: “Why not?” Ralph: “How would you like to go to the moon?” Alice is not afraid of any male.

Trixie comes down. Ralph says that he is exploiting this magazine for what it is. Ralph asks Ed to read these filthy articles. Ed takes his time to put his glasses on which upsets Ralph. Ed starts to read a job ad for a crazy job. Ralph: “That is the kind of people who read this magazine: Freaks.” Alice: “You are reading it Ralph.” Ralph goes to the can to throw it out. Trixie says that it is hers despite the fact that she gave it to Alice earlier. Ralph begs to differ. He can throw the magazine out and her out because that this is his house. Ed: “Don't throw her out. You will wrinkle her dress. I will have to iron that one too.” Alice says that Ralph is missing the point. Alice: “Women are finally taking their place in society. We are emerging from centuries of male domination Ralph. This is a sexual revolution. I am not just Alice Kramden. I am every woman in the whole world.” Ralph: “Is that so? Then all of you SHUT UP!” Ed cheers him on. Trixie: “Ed, you are just as bad as he is. Don't you think of me as only a cook and a sex object?” Ed: “Yes and no.” Trixie is mad. Alice says to her to not get upset. Alice: “They are just a couple of narrow-minded male bigots.” Ralph: “This magazine is going in the garbage.” Alice: “If that magazine goes, I go. “ Trixie: “So do I.” That is fine with Ralph. Ralph puts the magazine in the trash. The girls leave to go live upstairs while the boys live downstairs. This I almost like “King of The Castle”/”Battle of The Sexes.”

Ed: “We sure fixed them. Trixie has a 21 pound turkey upstairs. Can you imagine the time it will take to cook that turkey along with all the trimmings?” Ralph is starting to think about all that food. Ed: “All we have to do is open this little can.” Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!” Ed takes a look at the magazine. A paper falls out of it but Ed puts it back in. Ed takes a look at Bert Parks centerfold much to Ralph's chagrin. Once again, I wonder if a casual fan saw this and questioned Ed's sexuality.

The next scene opens up with Ralph wearing an apron much like he did in “Brother Ralph.” He wears it around his waist. He starts to cook a turkey and it looks like he doesn't know how to do it. He actually staples the turkey. Ha. Ed comes back with a long blond wig on. Ralph sees Ed with the wig on and he gets scared. Ed: “We got to be real ma. We have to fight women's lib? How do I look?” Ralph: “You look like Tiny Tim's dog.” Ralph says that with that wig on, everyone will think that Ed is nuts. Ralph agrees to fight women's lib by sporting the wig that Ed gave him. He goes into the bedroom and takes it out of its box. Ralph comes out with a red-haired afro wig on. He looks funnier than Ed. Ed: “You look like Orphan Annie's dog.” Ralph takes off his (meaning Ralph's) in anger and says that he is not wearing any wig. Ed puts the turkey into the oven. He can't put the turkey into the oven because the rack is in the way. Ralph: “Take it out.” The rack is hot. Ralph: “Give me that thing.” The rack is hot so cue Ralph yelling in pain. Ed: “Put snow on your hands. That is what I do.” Ralph: “Where am I going to get snow at this time of the year?” Ed: “You should have thought that before you burned your hands.” Ed goes into the bathroom to get something for Ralph's hands. A guy from ACE Plumbing comes in to fix the sink. He is played by Gary Merrill. Ed comes out with his wig still on with some dippity-doo for Ralph's hands. The plumber looks at Ed. Plumber: “If I have interrupted anything, I will come back later.” Ralph says no. Ed offers the plumber to shake his gloved hand. Ed: “Pardon my glove.” Ralph says to the plumber to not get the wrong idea. Ralph: “We are married.” Ha. Ralph: “I don't mean that. We are just living together.” Plumber: “I see.” Ed: “No, he means that we sleep together.” Of course, the plumber is getting the impression that Ralph & Ed are gay. Plumber: “Nothing surprises me anymore. One day an actual dolphin served me a can of beer.” The plumber goes to fix the sink and sees the centerfold of Bert Parks. Ralph: “We don't read that kind of stuff.” Ed: “We just look at the pictures.” Ha ha. The plumber goes to look at the sink upstairs. Ralph: “Do you know what he thinks with me in this apron and you in that wig?” Ed: “Cooking a sex object?” Ralph is starting to hate the magazine more. Ed looks at it again. Ed just pictures Ralph in a centerfold with his bus driver's hat on. Ralph: “I suppose you would pose for one of those.” Ed: “If it was in good taste, yes.” Ralph: “I can just see you in one of those centerfolds with your boots on and his vest on.

The girls come on down. They came down because the plumber told them what was going on. Alice: “The whole neighborhood thinks that you two are nuts.” Ralph says that he is not crazy but he agrees with the neighborhood that Ed is nuts. Ed: “I may be nuts but I am beautiful.” Ralph: “You are nuts and ugly.” Ed: “You are just jealous because blonds have more fun.” Ed: “Ralph has been picking on me. He is a pick, pick, pick, pick, picker. That is all.” Ralph blames Trix and the magazine for starting this. Alice: “I want my rights.” Ralph: “I will give you those and some lefts too.” Alice says that she wants her freedom. Ralph: “What about me?” He complains about his life and Alice is in the lap of luxury. Alice begs to differ. Alice: “This looks like a model apartment for Skid Row.” She starts to complain about her life. She starts to cry as she says that she wants to be a part of his life. Ralph agrees. He says he wants to give Alice everything she wants but he can't because he is just a bus driver. Alice: “You are my favorite bus driver.” Alice hugs Ralph. Trixie: “How about you Ed?” Ed: “He is my favorite bus driver too.” Both couples have made up and Ralph will take everybody out to the Red Rasberry. Ralph: “It is a real swinging joint. Everyone leaves except Ralph. He takes one look at the Bert centerfold. Ralph: “He doesn't have such big hands like Ed says.”

The red font credits roll with a blue sky background. Some of the names on the credits (such as the June Taylor Dancers) not surprisingly are not shown on this special meaning we didn't see them on screen as well as the song: “Back In The Twenties & Thirties” wasn't shown on screen for people to watch on this DVD.

"A Talk With Trixie":

The interview opens up a few seconds of the Color Honeymooners opening being shown along with clips of episodes being shown as well as a B&W Picture of the cast. Jean is being interviewed with a picture of the Kramden kitchen being used as a backdrop. This interview looks like it was done recently. It sounds like her voice unfortunately has been badly affected. I wonder if she used to smoke. She tells her about her life and her life into show business.

When she first met Jackie, they were doing one nighters at the Lowes Theaters in Manhattan and making $50 a night. Jackie doing stand-up was not his forte. He was a sketch comic. A clip of “Mexican Hat Trick” is shown. She continues to talk about her early life working Jackie. According to her, Jackie was never rewarded for his Honeymooners work, but Art was. He also was not rewarded for any of his early movies.

A picture of a young Jean Kean is shown. She has a gold dress on. She says that when the Honeymooners first started, her and her sister's popularity was starting to rise. They were starting to perform at the Copa and a couple of other places. When the Honeymooners were revived, her and her sisters' careers went their separate ways and Jean was asked to play the role of Trixie. Jackie wanted her on the show. Jean talked about working with Jackie in a place called Theater By The Sea in Rhode Island. It was a barn theater. Jean was playing Jack's wife. They were doing a dramatic scene. A spider came down from the ceiling between the two of them. Jackie killed the spider and said: “That is the last show you will see for nothing.”

A clip from “Play It Again, Norton” is shown in which Ralph & Ed are talking about driving a bus is romantic. Jean: “Jackie & Art were polar opposites.” Jean said that Art was shy and never liked to be in a crowd. After every show, we had a party. Jackie liked that. Jean: “So many people asked about what Jackie was drinking at the end of the show. It wasn't booze. It was coffee. He would wait for the party to have some booze and mostly eat. Art couldn't and wouldn't drink because he was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. There was one or two times when he ran, he slipped. Then, all of us would have to search for him.” In other words, he would give into temptation and go to a bar. Ed would always apologize. Then he would be fine.

A clip from the curtain call is shown with Ed saying that is a light drinker. According to Jean, Art had a bad experience with Walter Matheau during “The Odd Couple” on Broadway. Walter drove him crazy. Art was taken to the Hartford Institute of The Living. Jackie said he wouldn't do the show without Art. He went to Hartford to get Art out and guaranteed to give Art the role of Ed. The show was very successful. They got together in the late 70s to make Honeymooners specials. Audrey turned down the remake because she was married to Box Sixx who was head of Continental Airlines and she liked to travel with him so she didn't want to be committed to a weekly series.

During Shelia's first rehearsal, she played the role so softly, Jack reprimanded her for that. She said: “My Alice is sweeter. She cries.” She said: “Not on this show because if you act hurt in anyway when I say those rough things to you, then people will hate it. People will hate me. We need to end some of those arguments with 'Baby, you're the greatest.”” Jean says that Audrey's Alice always had a line that would top Ralph's. Shelia felt differently about the role.

Jean says that she was not intimidated by replacing Joyce Randolph because she had her own plan. She wanted to do it her way because they are such different personalities. Jean: “I was more of a comedian than Joyce. Joyce played it straighter. She was gracious.” When she was in Sardee's. She ran into Joyce. Joyce complimented her for playing the role of Trixie well.

She says that is was a difficult decision to make to go down to Miami to do the show because her home was in L.A. and she an apartment in New York. Art also had an apartment in New York , so it was hard for him too. Jean said it would be more convenient if he did the show either in New York or L.A., but since he had become a great golfer, that CBS built for him a rehearsal studio right next to the golf course. So he came to rehearsal on the golf cart. It was more convenient for him. He loved it down there and stayed down there until his death.

A clip of Bing Crosby is shown in which he sings “There Is Nothing I Haven't Sung About.” Jean talks about all the guests they had. She thought it was a great idea. Jean also said that it was quite a shore for the writers (Lyn Duddy & Jerry Bresler) to come up with the good songs. Some of those shows could have been extended into a Broadway musical. A clip of all of them singing from “Play It Again, Norton” is shown.

Jean: “When they first tried the revival of the Honeymooners in 1966, they tried it as a part of the ASM. As a sketch, it didn't work out. CBS said we just want the Honeymooners. That is when it all came back. ASM had all these wonderful characters in it but they weren't as popular as the Honeymooners. They tried different Alice's with the sketches and they didn't work out well. All Honeymooners it was. We all had a crazy schedule. Jackie didn't like to rehearse. When eh came into rehearsal with the golf cart, he would scratch out parts he didn't like and then call the chef to make him what he wanted for dinner. He would disappear and say: 'Learn The Lines.' That is all what we would do. There was very little rehearsal. The actual blocking and everything came on the day of the show. We did the show from the (now Jackie Gleason Theater of The Arts). The theater sat 3,000 people. We made our entrances to applause. It was like a Broadway show. We only stopped to very quickly change clothes. The quartet or the quintet played through the scenes. There was always something happening.”

A clip of Trixie & Ed singing from “The Honeymoon Is Over” is shown. Jean claims that Art messed up one of his lines during the song. Jean says she can't repeat it because it was profane but Jackie let it slide. Wow! Jackie says: “They wouldn't believe that they heard it. They think they heard it wrong.” Of course, this was years before CC was invented. Art said that he knew he did it, so they basically had to redo the whole number against Jackie's better judgment. Oh my! Jackie said that the audience wouldn't laugh twice at the same joke. That was his thinking. He was right. He didn't like to use a laugh track. Those laughs were real.

A picture of her and Art is shown. Jean: “People always asked me, how can you and Ed have such a nice home? It wasn't shown that often. The reason was that I (Trixie) earned money as a stripper. Trixie wanted a nice apartment. A clip of Jackie walking home with Alice's mother (played by Pert Kelton, the original Alice) is shown. Jane says that Pert was real good as Alice. That was Pert's real voice in the Honeymooners episodes. Audrey had to develop that. They had her study Pert as Alice. Alice wouldn't be on it if that McCarthy book in which Pert was listed as a person who voted communist came out. Pert said she didn't know why her name was in there. A lot of innocent people were blacklisted and ruined because of it. CBS was hesitant about bringing Pert along because of the book. Jackie was upset about that because she loved her in that role. Years later, when they did the color episode, it was an emotional experience when Pert played Alice's mother. They all fell apart because she was wonderful. A clip of Jackie introducing Pert is shown.

Jean: “Jackie was a genius because he started out as nothing.” She talks about his early life such as playing a movie in pantomime. Jean: “Jackie could do it all.” A rare color picture of Jackie and Art rehearsing is shown. Jean: “Art was a genius in the same way.” Jean says that the Honeymooners was a never-ending experience and was always very popular on some station (I wonder if she was talking about WPIX). Jean: “The Honeymooners was a very popular series.”

A still that says: “To order Jean Kean's book: 'A Funny Thing Happened To Me On The Way To The Honeymooners: I Had A Life' go to amazon.com or bearmanormedia.com. I wonder if anyone would assume that by reading the title that Jean hated working on the show.

“Jack & Julie" (in England and possibly the entire U.K., this special is called "Jack & Julie Together" since Julie Andrews [who is from England] is more famous than Jackie Gleason in the U.K.):

TV: Hasn’t been see been seen on TV since 1974.
DVD: Attached to various other sketches on a DVD issued by Time Life that is butchered.
Air Date: Sat. 5/22/74

Here’s the YouTube link of this sketch: http://youtube.com/watch?v=k4144l-PxdQ. An uncut version can be purchased through ioffer.com and it has made it’s way through the tape trading circuit.

Ralph comes home. He sees a letter that Alice wrote. It says that since Ralph forgot their anniversary and in turn forgot to give her a card she “forgot” to make dinner. Ralph is upset. He tries to make his own dinner. After that, Ralph sits down at the kitchen table. Ed Norton (played by Julie Andrews) comes in. Yes, a woman plays Ed Norton in this sketch. Ed asks what Ralph is eating. Ed grabs whatever Ralph is eating much to Ralph’s chagrin. Alice is out with her mother. Alice is mad at her for not sending her a birthday card. Ed says: “Why don’t you tell her that you sent her a card but it got lost in the mail?” Ralph: “That’s dishonest. Besides, I already told her that last year.” Ed then suggests writing a nice, intimate poem. Ralph agrees. Ralph has Ed write the poem for him. Ralph: “’My dearest, darling, loving, sweetheart Alice. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am sorry I forgot your birthday, but I will make it up…” Ed suggests him ending that sentence with: “…but I will make it up. I will forget next year’s too.” Ralph is upset and tries to kick Ed out.

Ed asks why he is being kicked out. Ralph: “Because you are a nut.” Ed: “Why do you pick on me?” Ralph: “Because you are a BUM!” Ralph says that it was a sorry day when he ran into Ed. Wow! That isn’t nice. Ralph: “Here I am in desperate trouble. My marriage is hanging by a thread. The whole world is crumbling down around me. Who let’s me down? My best friend.” Ed agrees. He says that he doesn’t deserve a friend like him. Ed: “I am always taking and never giving. I will get out of your life. I will move away.” Ed is crying. Ed: “There are many other towns with sewers.” Ralph is feeling guilty. He says that he (Ralph) is everything he says that Ed was. He goes through the same “I am sorry” routine that he usually gives Alice. Ed stands up and says that Ralph is the nicest guy in the whole world. Ed forgives Ralph’s apology. Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.” He kisses Ed (despite the fact that we are supposed to believe that Ed is a man) which causes the audience to laugh. I wonder if the casual fan thought that Jackie and/or Ralph and/or Ed were gay. Well, Ralph kissing Ed is understandable considering that Ed was played by Julie Andrews. Ed (after the kiss): “Va-va-va-voom!” They both go out to get something to eat as the sketch ends.

Episode #222
TV: Hour.
DVD: Attached to a Honeymooners parody skit that aired on the 1967 showing of The Hollywood Palace in which Ralph Bolger played Ralph and Audrey Meadows reprises her role as Alice.
Air Date: Sat. 2/2/77

In 2024, Catchy Comedy showed this episode as part of their Honeymooners marathon that year.

"The Honeymooners 25th Anniversary Special: The Second Honeymoon":

These as well as some of the other 70s specials, were listed under the title: "Jackie Gleason Presents The Honeymooners." Jackie, Art, Audrey & Jean reprise their roles.

In the Honeymooners Lost Episode Book that was published in `86, there is a chapter that says: "Still Lost." In this chapter, Jackie says: "I wanted to be sure they (the Classic 39) had run their course before I brought out the new ones. I'll let these run for about thirty years, and then we've got a few left." It also says "These episodes aren't available today unless people taped them in the 70s. (Anyone reading this in the year 2000 should note that in the 70s, relatively few people owned VCRs). I would imagine that several years from now, relatively few people will own stand-alone VCRs. Unlike all the other episodes, these ones were shown on ABC.

This DVD for "Second Honeymoon" includes a Color Honeymooners Promo that is similar to the syndicated opening of the show but the clips differ. I believe MPI made that promo as there is no CBS announcer promoting the show.

The few seconds of the opening video are the same as the Color Honeymooners, even the same Color Honeymooners music is playing and
Johnny says: "Coming to you from Gusman Hall in Miami, Jackie Gleason Presents The Honeymooners. Starring Jackie Gleason, Art Carney, Audrey Meadows & Jean Kean and away we go!

Alice and Trixie are in the Kramden apartment. The Kramden's 25th Anniversary is coming up. This, despite the fact that in the show's SECOND season, Ralph says that they have been married like 13 years. Alice says that she still doesn't have any gray hairs. Alice has been keeping an eye on Mrs. Manicotti's kids. When she was down there, she had to take little Tommy (her son) and his sick rabbit to the vet on Halsey Street. Much too little Tommy's chagrin, they had to leave the sick rabbit there but on the way home, he found a stray cat, so he now has a new pet. Alice is knitting a cover for Ralph's bowling ball. Alice's mom has been having ulcers, so Trixie was watching the Mike Douglas Show, and they had a woman on there discussing ulcers and what people shouldn't eat when they have ulcers, so Trixie copied them down on a piece of paper. Ralph Kramden comes home and he immediately combs his mustache Ralph kisses Alice hello. Ralph (to Trixie): "How is our favorite neighbor?" Trixie: "What was that beer you had? Norton can use some." The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of the Raccoons called Ralph at the bus depot today. He said they have some kind of honor that they bestow on their members that have been married for 25 years. I thought that the Raccoons weren't in favor of happy marriages. I guess that they must have changed. Alice: "What is it?" Ralph: "He didn't know. This is the first time that it has happened." Wow! Ralph says that the G.H.E.M.R. will look up the honor and he wants to marry Ralph & Alice again. Trixie will be her maid of honor. Ed will be Ralph's best man. The girls go upstairs so that Alice can see the dress that Trixie will wear. Ed comes down. Ed sees Ralph combing his mustache Ralph: "Just because I have been married for 25 years, doesn't mean that I can't be sexy." Ha! ha! Ralph: "A mustache makes a man distinguished. It gives you a certain air. You should grow one." Ed: "Not me. When you work in the sewer, you already got an air about you." This moment was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002. Ralph breaks his news to Ed about him marrying Alice again at the Raccoon Lodge and he wants Ed to be the best man. Ed accepts. Ed hasn't given any thought as far as what to give Ralph for his 25th Anniversary. Ralph (yells): "WELL, GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT." Ed has little money left, so he asks Ralph if he wants a picture of the Lone Ranger's Horse. Ralph says no. Ralph says he wants silver cuff links He has Garrity getting him a silver stick pen. Doesn't Garrity hate Ralph and vice-versa? Ralph looks for a pencil and notices the stuff that Alice was knitting. Ralph thinks that somebody must be having a baby. When he sees the holes for the bowling ball, he concludes that the top holes must be for the arms and the middle one is for the head. Gee, is Ralph stupid. Ralph finds the list Trix made for Alice in the knitted clothing. He reads it. Ralph: "Diet for Mother: No smoking…"Ed says that Alice must be pregnant. Ralph says that that isn't possible because Ralph is too old. Ralph says that it still is possible. Tommy Manicotti comes by. He sure hasn't aged because the last time he was shown was twenty plus years prior in "Trapped." Tommy said that Alice has to know that the rabbit died. Tommy leaves. Ralph thinks that Alice is pregnant (despite the fact that the ages of the characters make this idea unbelievable. Jackie was 59 while Audrey was 54.) Ralph: "I'm going to be a father." Ed: "You are going to adopt the rabbit's kids?" Ralph says that doctor's test to see if a woman is pregnant by doing something with a rabbit in which that if it dies, it is pregnant. Ralph says he heard that information somewhere. Ralph doesn't want to tell Alice yet. Ed: "Now that we know that Alice is pregnant, the next question is obvious. Who do you expect is the dad?" Ralph is not amused. Ed says that since Ralph is out playing pool, bowling and going to the lodge, there isn't any room for hanky-panky. Ralph remembers the night when the poolroom burned down early in the evening, he went home early and that could have been the night that started the whole thing. Ralph wants Ed to be the godfather of Ralph's kid, but Ed declines. He says that he is too old. Ralph tells him of the good things that the godfather does for a kid. Ed finally accepts.

Announcer: "The Honeymooners: The Second Honeymoon is brought to you by the men & women of The International Ladies Garment Union." A commercial about the company follows.

Ralph comes home. Ralph gave Alice a telephone for an anniversary gift. Ralph says that she might need the phone in case of an emergency like calling a doctor in the middle night etc. Alice says that the only way to get a doctor in the middle of the night is to watch Late Night on NBC. Alice asks for a TV set and Ralph obliges. Ralph: "Do you want black & white or color?" Alice: "You better start me off with black & white. I am not ready for color." Alice has a surprise for Ralph, but he will have to wait until their anniversary day. Ralph: "I am waiting with baited breath." Alice cooks Ralph his dinner. Ralph says he is admiring Alice's "fantastic" shape. The G.H.E.M.R. calls. He has a gift for Alice & Ralph: A two week honeymoon for them at the Raccoon National Cemetery. Gee, what a vacation. It's on a European plan, so that means no meals. Alice: "I didn't expect a cemetery to have room service." They are going to stay at the Raccoon Old Folks Home which is right near a pond. Alice asks Ralph if they will accept a party for three. Ralph says yes and he will pick up the bill for the third party. Alice: "Any minute now, the third party will come." Ralph (yells): "ANY MINUTE NOW?" Alice: "My mother is coming." D'oh! Ralph isn't going to like that. Ralph: "Don't say a thing like our honeymoon now because right now, I can't afford to bring her." Alice's mom comes in. She looks completely different than when she appeared in the Color Honeymooners as well as the Lost Episodes and the Classic 39. Alice's mom: "I thought he lost weight. He still looks FAT to me." Alice: "You apologize to Ralph." Ralph: "No, that won't be needed. I am delighted to be in front of a celebrity. The star of Jaws." Ha ha ha. A battle between Ralph and Mrs. Gibson erupts. After that, Alice's mother has to go. She says that Alice's sister's husband drives her home. Alice's Mom: "She drives a foreign car." Ralph: "I drive a foreign bus. None of my passengers speak English." The girls leave. Ed comes down with a box. It has a lot of baby-related things in it. After the Kramden's got married, they stayed with Alice's mother. Ralph: "Those were the worst eight years in my life." In "Here Comes The Bride", Ralph says that it was three years and in "A Promotion", I think Alice said that it was two years. Ed brings out the baby powder, diapers, safety pins and a doll in his box that he calls: "Father's Expectancy Kit." Ed shows Ralph how to change a diaper. He puts powder on the baby. He uses so much powder that if he was doing this on a real baby, I can imagine that the baby would either sneeze and/or cough. As Ed is trying to straighten the doll's legs, he accidentally knocks one of them off. He puts it back on. He puts the diaper on and asks Ralph to hold the doll for him so he can put the safety pin on. Cue Ed accidentally stabbing Ralph with the pin now. Ralph is yelling so much that you would think he accidentally smashed his hand. Ed asks Ralph to give him a picture of water. Ralph obliges. He asks Ralph to pour the water into the diaper that Ed is holding up. Ed swings the diaper and all the water comes out and splashes against Ralph. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ed: "The joke is on me Ralph. I used the wrong diaper." Ralph kicks Ed out. The picture of the moment that he kicks Ed out is shown in The Honeymooners Companion Book.

In the commercial break, it should be noted that this was recorded from WABC in New York.

Alice comes into the kitchen. She is making the punch for the wedding reception tomorrow. Trixie comes in. She tries the punch. Despite the fact that it sounds like she hates it, she says she likes it. She is going to put vodka in the punch. Alice says that she has to make the punch because the Grand High Exalted Mystic Weirdo said so. Ralph comes home and eyes the punch. Ralph gives Alice the money so she can go to the beauty parlor and get some other things. The girls leave. Ed (from outside, yells): "YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" A piano falling down the stairs is heard. Ed (from outside, yells): "HEY RALPH! OPEN UP!" Ed comes in with a piano. Ed wanted to bring it downstairs so he can play a song for Ralph. Ralph: "You shouldn't have carried it downstairs. You can hurt yourself." Ed: "What do you think I am, dumb? I rolled this thing down the stairs." Ed has a song that he has written for Ralph's wedding as well as his being a daddy. Ralph is disappointed that he is getting married tomorrow. He wanted to have a bachelor party. Isn't Ralph still married? Ed: "I was going to wait a few days and throw you a baby shower." Ralph says that they can have their own private bachelor party. The party is on right now. Ed gets some hors d' oeuvres. They have some punch. Ralph: "This stuff is strong. Alice put four quarts of vodka in this." Ralph doesn't know that Alice didn't put the vodka in it and right now it's just grape juice. They start getting drunk on…grape juice? Just like in "Head of The House" except I wonder if this time Jackie & Art did their lines word-by-word instead of totally going off the script which caused EVERYONE to laugh like they did in "Head of The House." Question: How can anybody get DRUNK on GRAPE JUICE? Ed: "Here's to Ralph! A gentleman and a Raccoon. Here's to Ralph who used to be built like a balloon." Ralph laughs. Eventually, they start dancing. Ralph starts singing: "Maybe I Am Right. Maybe I Am Wrong." Ralph says that that was Alice and his' song. In "Honeymooners Valentine Special", it was: "Yes, We Have No Bananas." Ed starts to throw things and Ralph has to catch them in a bag. They continue to get drunk on grape juice. Ed then falls asleep. Ralph takes a picture of Alice and says: "What a lucky guy I am." The audience claps as he falls asleep.

A commercial for the International Ladies Garment Union is shown on my copy of this episode. A commercial for the "upcoming" Olympics are shown. Johnny Olsen then says: "The Honeymooners will resume in a moment." After that, more commercials are shown like ABC plugging an episode of one of their shows. After that, the Honeymooners return.

At the Raccoon Lodge, everyone is ready for the wedding. The G.H.E.M.R. is in charge of the wedding. Music for the wedding will be provided by Ed Norton. Ed comes in with a different uniform than his fellow Raccoons. Everyone gets ready. A lot of the Raccoons have ridiculously long tails on their Raccoon caps. They raise their tails. Ed warms up prior to playing The Wedding March much to the chagrin of Ralph. Also, much to his chagrin, Ed warms up by playing "Swanee River." As the Kramden's & Trixie make their entrance, Ralph accidentally bumps into Ed. Ed and the two women follow the Kramden's to the "altar." The G.H.E.M.R. then tries to marry the Kramden's. I never knew that he was allowed to marry people. G.H.E.M.R.: "If there is any person who thinks that these two shouldn't be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." Alice's mom gets up but when Ralph sees her, she sits back down without saying a word. They say their "I dos." Ed gets the ring to put on Alice's finger, but he is having trouble finding it. What a best man. He finds it. Ralph puts the ring on Alice's finger and says what the G.H.E.M.R. says to him. They kiss and hug. Everyone is happy. Ralph says that everyone is going to be happy when they hear this surprise announcement that Alice is going to make. Alice: "What surprise?" Ralph: "I saw the baby clothing." Alice: "Those things were covers for your bowling ball." Ralph: "What is the use of kidding? I saw the Mother's Diet List." Alice: "That is the diet for my mother's ulcer problem." Alice's Mom: "Guess who gave it to me." Ralph (angrily): "What about the dead rabbit." Alice: "You weren't supposed to know about that. The dead rabbit was Tommy Manicotti's fault." Ralph is upset that he is not hearing the news that he thought he was going to hear. Alice explains that she got the rabbit for Tommy's birthday. The rabbit got sick, so she and Tommy went to the vet and that is where it died. Ed: "Ralph thought that you were pregnant." Alice says no. Everyone is laughing. Someone comes out with the news that the G.H.E.M.R. fell in the punch. Everyone leaves to help him except Ralph. Ralph starts to play: "Here Comes The Bride" on the piano, but stops.

Time for the commercial break. Several products are shown.

After the wedding party, Ralph & Ed return to the Kramden apartment. Ralph says that the band at the wedding was great but he is upset that he made a fool of himself at the wedding by getting upset by finding out that he won't be a daddy. Ed: "You are in the prime of life." Yeah, he is despite the fact that he has a lot of gray hairs. Ed says that Ralph's mustache makes him look good. Ed has to go. He has to be in the sewer at 6am tomorrow. He leaves. Alice comes home. Ralph reminisces about the party they were just at. Alice: "Thank you Ralph for a perfect evening." Organ music plays. Ralph says that he is sorry that he made a fool of himself at the wedding. Ralph: "I wanted a kid. The only reason why is because I know it would be exactly like you Alice." Alice: "There is no reason why we have to stop trying." Audience laughs. Ralph (yells): "LET'S GO!" As he says this, Alice's mom comes out with a bathrobe on. Ralph takes off his tux jacket and sees Alice's mom. Alice's mom: "Will you two please be quiet? I am trying to get my beauty rest." She goes back to sleep. Ralph is angry. Alice apologizes for not telling Ralph that mom is staying with them for the night. Alice is almost ready to cry as she is trying to get Ralph to forgive her. Alice: "Please say something." Ralph: "Frankly, sweetheart I don't give a (darn!)." I put darn in there because Jackie actually uttered the four letter profane word that starts with d and ends with n. I am not going to write it for fear that there's a slight chance that kids may access this message. Considering that this episode was shown in the 70s, I am surprised that that word was said considering that this is a Honeymooners "episode" (even if it is a minor profane word.) They hug and kiss.

Time for the commercial break, but all the commercials are edited out and then the announcer says: "The Second Honeymoon brought to you by the men & women of The International Ladies Garment Union." During the credit roll, Johnny Olsen says that the part of Alice's Mom was played by Templeton Fox." The ABC announcer plugs an episode of that show that starred Henry Winkler (I think you know what show I am referring to) as well as Henry making a guest appearance on Laverne & Shirley. I think he made that guest appearance because his show & Laverne & Shirley were going to team up to do a two-part episode. One episode was going to be from Henry's show and the other from L&S. The announcer also says that ABC is going to do a special on the "upcoming" Olympic Games. All of this is going to be "on" tomorrow night. As the credit's roll, they (the credits) actually zoom out.

Honeymooners skit from 1967

DVD: Attached to: "Jackie Gleason Presents:
"The Honeymooners 25th Anniversary Special: 'The Second Honeymoon":

This skit took place on a 1967 episode of the Hollywood Palace. The guest host (Ray Bolger) introduces us to Audrey. Audrey walks on stage and they talk about how wonderful Jackie is. Audrey says that she wanted Alice to be a bus driver and Ralph do the housework. Cue to the skit.
Air Year: Sat. 1/7/67


The Kramden apartment is shown and naturally it is a FAR CRY from the real one for obvious reasons. Ralph is cooking something on the stove. The water from the pot on the stove is boiling with bubbles. Ralph tries to look for a lid so he uses a hat. He dances to music on the record player. I should mention that Ray Bolger didn't even wear something to make him look fat like Ralph. Alice comes home with her bus driver uniform on and turns off the record player. Alice: "I see that you have been tasting your own cooking again." Ralph encourages Alice to get with it. Alice: "You are going to get it. The Whatfistee." Ralph says he was dancing The Slop. Alice: "I have been fighting the traffic all day and you are dancing The Slop instead of cooking it." Ralph: "How many times have we have people over and you said that I was a great cook?" Alice: 'When a person is doubled-up with pain, they will say anything." Ralph says that he has been busy fixing Alice's favorite dish. Alice tries it. She says it has too much sugar. Ralph tastes it and agrees. Ralph: "How sweet it is." Alice tells Ralph to hurry up because she has an important meeting with the Raccoons. Ralph says that all day long he has been doing the houswork. Sometimes, he had to do a couple of housework-realted things twice. Alice: "You wouldn't have to if you did it right the first time."

Ralph says that when he was dancing, he was dancing for Alice. They are having a charity picnic down at the ranch for the ladies bus drivers jamboree. Alice: "Yeah, I know the LBJ Ranch." Audience laughs. For obvious reasons, the line wouldn't be funny today. According to Ralph, letters were sent to bus driver's husbands asking to participate. Ralph says he will. Alice says no. Alice: "I have no intention of having my husband on stage and..." (shaking her hips): "...shaking his hips." Alice says that she would be embarrassed. Alice: "I am the boss. You are nothing. I am the King. I mean Queen." Ralph: "There is a wonderful prize for the winner. Alice: "That lets you out right away." Ralph: "When we went to Roseland, everybody wanted to dance with me." Alice: "Those Navy Waves on lashore leave? When they got off the boat, they would have danced with anyone." Ralph says that he is a fine dancer and that his mom had a theatrical background. Alice: "Tell her not to turn around and nobody will notice it." Ralph: "My cousin Herbert was in a motion picture." Alice: "He was a big star. He appeared in a Army Training film."

Ralph says that he was only entering the contest for Alice so she can get the first prize. A Marbalized Bowling Bowl. Alice is remorseful. Alice says that she is just jealous because Ralph has got talent. Alice: "I can't stand the thought of seeing you dancing on stage with a bunch of blond mechanics whistling at you. Ralph says that at the Jamboree, they have another dancing contest in which they can enter as a team. Alice is overjoyed. Alice puts a record on the record player and they dance The Lindee Hop. Audience cheers. Alice says that he is a wonderful dancer. Ralph: "Only when I am dancing with you Alice." Alice: "Ralph, you are the greatest." Ray says that Audrey is the greatest. This skit was almost a complete reversal of the traditional Kramden antics, wasn't it?

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

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