MrCleveland
12-31-2020, 12:57 AM
With the death of Dawn Wells...I dedicate this to her....
Announcer: And Now...Here's Another Episode of Sitcom Family Feud! And Here's Your Host...The Ghost Of Richard Dawson!
Richard: And A Sad Christmas As Well As A Lousy New Year! 2021...this may be "The Boring Twenties". Now here's the same family that I've had here...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: We see we have Tony...
Tony: Richard, I made a holiday after Christmas...I call it "Sexmas"!
Richard: I'd rather have "Boxing Day".
Tony: There's wrestling on Sexmas...if you know what I'm saying!
Richard: Okay...next, we have Helen.
Helen: Don't mind Tony...he hates Christmas. I'm glad that I can do online kindergarten classes. I did one where you can make a nativity out of clay.
Richard: Do you have it?
Helen: Only online...Tony ruined mine!
Richard: I'm so sorry...let me give you a hug.
Richard hugs Helen.
Richard: Next, we have Paul...
Paul: I ruined Christmas! I'm a Loser who has to be Wrong!
Richard: Moving-on, we go to Dustin Warner! I heard your ex died...sorry to hear that.
Dustin: She took too much whiskey and cocaine.
Richard: Sounds like she was trying to be Amy Winehouse...never heard her music, but now let's go to Margaret Warner.
Margaret: Some people had it worse this year...people died from the Potatovirus, so live with it, Paul!
Paul: **** You, *****!
Richard: Guys...this is Family Feud, not Feud With Your Family! Next, we have Craig Liszt.
Craig: We did confiscate Paul's drinks after we watched some YouTube videos and made my daughters cry.
Richard: Another family Christmas gathering...finally, we have John-Paul Warner.
John: Look...we all go back to acting like idiots...I had to take everyone back home even though my dad drank more than anyone else...combined! Christmas just brings-out the worst in people...I didn't think Paul was that bad.
Richard: Well...let's bring-out the cast of Gilligan's Island!
The Cast of Gilligan's Island enter.
Richard: First off, we have Gillian. So you're the first mate.
Gilligan: I don't even know what that means...I just sail a boat.
Richard: No wonder it's Gilligan's Island! Next, we have Captain Jonas Grumby!
Skipper: Call Me Skipper. I was the captain of the S.S.Minnow.
Richard: Okay...next, we have Thruston Howell III. You made your millions in the Stock Market.
Thurston: Well...I sold 95% of it in 2006 since I heard there was going to be trouble in the next few years.
Richard: You played it wisely. Next, we have your wife, Lovely Wentworth-Howell.
Mrs. Howell: Give me a wet one, Dawson!
Richard: Let's Not and say we did. Next, we have The Movie Star, Ginger Grant.
Richard hugs Ginger.
Richard: You have any relation with Cary Grant?
Ginger: Not that I know of...but my uncle is Gary Cant.
Richard: Who's he?
Ginger: He was an actor in many films...he was even in Gone With The Wind and Goodfellas.
Richard: I'll have to find that out. Next, we have Professor Roy Hinkley.
Professor: You can call me Professor.
Richard: I hear you have a PhD and built a radio out of coconuts.
Professor: I even brought it to the show...let me show you.
The Professor brings-out the coconut radio and it plays "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi.
Dustin: I hate Bon Jovi! They Suck!
Professor: Sorry...
Richard: No harm, no foul. Finally, we have Mary-Ann Summers.
Richard and Mary-Ann hug.
Richard: You got to ride on the S.S.Minnow by winning the lottery.
Mary-Ann: That is true.
Richard: And you're from Kansas as well.
Mary-Ann: Yep...The Breadbasket of America.
Richard: And with that...let's start the feud!
Tony and Gilligan walk towards Richard Dawson's podium.
Richard: Now...100 people surveyed 10 answers on this. Name a part of a ship.
Tony Buzzes In.
Tony: Poop Deck!
Richard: You wanted to say "poop", didn't you?
Tony: Damn Straight!
Richard: Is the Poop Deck on there?
Poop Deck is the #4 answer.
Tony laughs very loud.
Richard: Gilligan...name a part of the ship.
Gilligan: Those smoke stacks.
Richard: I think they're named something else. Is smoke stack up there?
Funnel is the #3 Answer.
Richard: So...will you play or pass?
Skipper: You Better Play, Little Buddy
Gilligan: Then we'll play
Tony: ...and I passed...can you do that on a poop deck/
Richard: I don;t wanna know...now Skipper...name a part of a boat
Skipper: The Captains Quarters.
Richard: ...Give me The Quarters for the Captain
Captain's Quarters is the #9 Answer
Richard: Mr. Howell...name a part of a boat.
Mr. Howell: Presidential Suite...honey, remember our trip on The Queen Mary?
Mrs. Howell: The Queen Mary...that is a nice ship.
Richard; Was...it was retired in 1967. But show me Presidential Suite.
Cabins is the #8 Answer.
Richard: Mrs. Howell...Name a Part of a boat.
Mrs. Howell: The Anchor.
Richard: So...are the anchors away?
The Anchor/Rudder is the #1 Answer.
Richard: Great Answer Ginger, name a part of a boat.
Ginger: The Sail.
Richard: I'd say something, but...does a boat have a great set of sails?
Sail/Mast is the #2 Answer.
Richard: Professor...name a part of a boat.
Professor: The Boiler Room.
Richard: Is The Boiler Romm up there?
The Boiler Room is #7.
Richard: Mary Anne, name a part of a boat.
Mary Anne: The Bow...Skipper taught me that oe.
Richard: Is the bow a part of the ship?
The Bow of the Ship is #6 answer.
Richard: Gilligan...we return to you.
Gilligan: I dunno if I can handle the pressure...
Skipper: You better not blow it, or else!
Richard: Name a part of a boat.
Gilligan: I...I...
Richard: Three Seconds...
Skipper: Come On, Little Buddy!
BUZZ
Richard: Now we go to The Warners for the steal.
The Warners debate whether "dinghy" or "stern" should be the steal. Paul then bangs his gavel.
Paul: Can you just listen to me for just one second? The answer is stern!
Tony: Well...since I like the word...I'll go with dinghy.
Richard: For The Steal...is dinghy up there?
Lifeboat is #10 answer.
Richard: What is the #5 answer?
The Stern is the #5 answer.
Richard: This means we must say goodbye to The Cast of "Gilligan's Island".
Skipper: We could've won it all, but Gilligan blew it for us!
Gilligan: I'm sorry...
Skipper: Not as sorry as you're going to be!
Richard: Is there fighting in sitcom heaven?
Gilligan: There really isn't.
Mary Ann: But now I'm going to sitcom heaven.
Ginger: So that means...
Mary Ann: Yes...you're The last survivor of Gilligan's Island...we hope to see you soon.
Ginger: Okay...who's gonna take me home?
Richard: You'll think of something...so, who's gonna play "Fast Money Round"?
All the Warners but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!...
Paul walks towards Richard.
Paul: I have to do this all over again!
Richard: You just are good at this...
Paul: And you HAD to tell me "why"!
Richard: Look, no matter what you'll get $10,000 for this round we need 15 on the clock please.
:15 is seen.
Richard: The clock starts once I finish the first clue. Name a bird from Brazil.
Paul: Umbrella Bird.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a city in Africa.
Paul: Kinshasa.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a brand of soap.
Paul: Pears.
Richard: Name a holiday in September.
Paul: Rosh Hashanah.
BUZZ
Richard: Name someone who played James Bond.
Paul: David Niven.
BUZZ
Richard: You stunned our panelists again, but because of the Potatovirus you each get $10,000. That's it for Sitcom Family Feud. Good Lord!...
Announcer: And Now...Here's Another Episode of Sitcom Family Feud! And Here's Your Host...The Ghost Of Richard Dawson!
Richard: And A Sad Christmas As Well As A Lousy New Year! 2021...this may be "The Boring Twenties". Now here's the same family that I've had here...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: We see we have Tony...
Tony: Richard, I made a holiday after Christmas...I call it "Sexmas"!
Richard: I'd rather have "Boxing Day".
Tony: There's wrestling on Sexmas...if you know what I'm saying!
Richard: Okay...next, we have Helen.
Helen: Don't mind Tony...he hates Christmas. I'm glad that I can do online kindergarten classes. I did one where you can make a nativity out of clay.
Richard: Do you have it?
Helen: Only online...Tony ruined mine!
Richard: I'm so sorry...let me give you a hug.
Richard hugs Helen.
Richard: Next, we have Paul...
Paul: I ruined Christmas! I'm a Loser who has to be Wrong!
Richard: Moving-on, we go to Dustin Warner! I heard your ex died...sorry to hear that.
Dustin: She took too much whiskey and cocaine.
Richard: Sounds like she was trying to be Amy Winehouse...never heard her music, but now let's go to Margaret Warner.
Margaret: Some people had it worse this year...people died from the Potatovirus, so live with it, Paul!
Paul: **** You, *****!
Richard: Guys...this is Family Feud, not Feud With Your Family! Next, we have Craig Liszt.
Craig: We did confiscate Paul's drinks after we watched some YouTube videos and made my daughters cry.
Richard: Another family Christmas gathering...finally, we have John-Paul Warner.
John: Look...we all go back to acting like idiots...I had to take everyone back home even though my dad drank more than anyone else...combined! Christmas just brings-out the worst in people...I didn't think Paul was that bad.
Richard: Well...let's bring-out the cast of Gilligan's Island!
The Cast of Gilligan's Island enter.
Richard: First off, we have Gillian. So you're the first mate.
Gilligan: I don't even know what that means...I just sail a boat.
Richard: No wonder it's Gilligan's Island! Next, we have Captain Jonas Grumby!
Skipper: Call Me Skipper. I was the captain of the S.S.Minnow.
Richard: Okay...next, we have Thruston Howell III. You made your millions in the Stock Market.
Thurston: Well...I sold 95% of it in 2006 since I heard there was going to be trouble in the next few years.
Richard: You played it wisely. Next, we have your wife, Lovely Wentworth-Howell.
Mrs. Howell: Give me a wet one, Dawson!
Richard: Let's Not and say we did. Next, we have The Movie Star, Ginger Grant.
Richard hugs Ginger.
Richard: You have any relation with Cary Grant?
Ginger: Not that I know of...but my uncle is Gary Cant.
Richard: Who's he?
Ginger: He was an actor in many films...he was even in Gone With The Wind and Goodfellas.
Richard: I'll have to find that out. Next, we have Professor Roy Hinkley.
Professor: You can call me Professor.
Richard: I hear you have a PhD and built a radio out of coconuts.
Professor: I even brought it to the show...let me show you.
The Professor brings-out the coconut radio and it plays "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi.
Dustin: I hate Bon Jovi! They Suck!
Professor: Sorry...
Richard: No harm, no foul. Finally, we have Mary-Ann Summers.
Richard and Mary-Ann hug.
Richard: You got to ride on the S.S.Minnow by winning the lottery.
Mary-Ann: That is true.
Richard: And you're from Kansas as well.
Mary-Ann: Yep...The Breadbasket of America.
Richard: And with that...let's start the feud!
Tony and Gilligan walk towards Richard Dawson's podium.
Richard: Now...100 people surveyed 10 answers on this. Name a part of a ship.
Tony Buzzes In.
Tony: Poop Deck!
Richard: You wanted to say "poop", didn't you?
Tony: Damn Straight!
Richard: Is the Poop Deck on there?
Poop Deck is the #4 answer.
Tony laughs very loud.
Richard: Gilligan...name a part of the ship.
Gilligan: Those smoke stacks.
Richard: I think they're named something else. Is smoke stack up there?
Funnel is the #3 Answer.
Richard: So...will you play or pass?
Skipper: You Better Play, Little Buddy
Gilligan: Then we'll play
Tony: ...and I passed...can you do that on a poop deck/
Richard: I don;t wanna know...now Skipper...name a part of a boat
Skipper: The Captains Quarters.
Richard: ...Give me The Quarters for the Captain
Captain's Quarters is the #9 Answer
Richard: Mr. Howell...name a part of a boat.
Mr. Howell: Presidential Suite...honey, remember our trip on The Queen Mary?
Mrs. Howell: The Queen Mary...that is a nice ship.
Richard; Was...it was retired in 1967. But show me Presidential Suite.
Cabins is the #8 Answer.
Richard: Mrs. Howell...Name a Part of a boat.
Mrs. Howell: The Anchor.
Richard: So...are the anchors away?
The Anchor/Rudder is the #1 Answer.
Richard: Great Answer Ginger, name a part of a boat.
Ginger: The Sail.
Richard: I'd say something, but...does a boat have a great set of sails?
Sail/Mast is the #2 Answer.
Richard: Professor...name a part of a boat.
Professor: The Boiler Room.
Richard: Is The Boiler Romm up there?
The Boiler Room is #7.
Richard: Mary Anne, name a part of a boat.
Mary Anne: The Bow...Skipper taught me that oe.
Richard: Is the bow a part of the ship?
The Bow of the Ship is #6 answer.
Richard: Gilligan...we return to you.
Gilligan: I dunno if I can handle the pressure...
Skipper: You better not blow it, or else!
Richard: Name a part of a boat.
Gilligan: I...I...
Richard: Three Seconds...
Skipper: Come On, Little Buddy!
BUZZ
Richard: Now we go to The Warners for the steal.
The Warners debate whether "dinghy" or "stern" should be the steal. Paul then bangs his gavel.
Paul: Can you just listen to me for just one second? The answer is stern!
Tony: Well...since I like the word...I'll go with dinghy.
Richard: For The Steal...is dinghy up there?
Lifeboat is #10 answer.
Richard: What is the #5 answer?
The Stern is the #5 answer.
Richard: This means we must say goodbye to The Cast of "Gilligan's Island".
Skipper: We could've won it all, but Gilligan blew it for us!
Gilligan: I'm sorry...
Skipper: Not as sorry as you're going to be!
Richard: Is there fighting in sitcom heaven?
Gilligan: There really isn't.
Mary Ann: But now I'm going to sitcom heaven.
Ginger: So that means...
Mary Ann: Yes...you're The last survivor of Gilligan's Island...we hope to see you soon.
Ginger: Okay...who's gonna take me home?
Richard: You'll think of something...so, who's gonna play "Fast Money Round"?
All the Warners but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!...
Paul walks towards Richard.
Paul: I have to do this all over again!
Richard: You just are good at this...
Paul: And you HAD to tell me "why"!
Richard: Look, no matter what you'll get $10,000 for this round we need 15 on the clock please.
:15 is seen.
Richard: The clock starts once I finish the first clue. Name a bird from Brazil.
Paul: Umbrella Bird.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a city in Africa.
Paul: Kinshasa.
BUZZ
Richard: Name a brand of soap.
Paul: Pears.
Richard: Name a holiday in September.
Paul: Rosh Hashanah.
BUZZ
Richard: Name someone who played James Bond.
Paul: David Niven.
BUZZ
Richard: You stunned our panelists again, but because of the Potatovirus you each get $10,000. That's it for Sitcom Family Feud. Good Lord!...