Frank Gannucci
12-04-2020, 07:28 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Play It Again, Norton" & "Ralph Goes Hollywood":
Episode #208 (Syndicated episode #31)
TV: An hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to “Ralph Goes Hollywood”, “Mexican Hat Trick” & “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”
Air Date: Sat. 9/27/69
"Play It Again, Norton":
Although not a remake, it is similar to “Songwriters.”
The opening of the show is different than that of previous seasons. The differences are that as far as the audio is concerned, it’s the same as the syndicated openings (except that when Johnny Olsen reads: “The Jackie Gleason Show starring Jackie Gleason, Art Carney in The Honeymooners, the camera points to the sky and the words are in big red letters and than one of the Glea Girls says: “With Shelia MacRae, Jean Kean, special guest star: Paul Lynde, June Taylor Dancers and Sammy Spear and his orchestra During that time, they were down to only two Glea Girls.)
In a scene that you will NOT see in syndication, Johnny Olsen introduces the NEW Jackie Gleason. New oranges curtains are shown at the curtain call (unless the original green & black ones were painted over). By this time, Jackie Gleason lost a LOT of weight. He comes out in a tuxedo to the applause of the Miami Beach crowd. Jackie: “If a Ms. America contest was here, you would be looking at the winner now. I gave my raincoat to the NY Yankees so when it rains, they can use it to cover up the infield.” The audience laughs as Jackie continues to joke about how much weight he previously had. Sadly, he later ended up gaining some weight. Jackie says it’s time for the Honeymooners. Jack: “And away we go.”
In another scene you won’t see in syndication, they show the “outside” & then “inside” of Sound Stage 4 of Peekskill Studios. In real life, such a company existed. The inside looks to be VERY colorful. The June Taylor Dancers come out, dance and sing “Why Take Me Out of This World?” After that, they leave and person named Worthington Kenmore (played by Paul Lynde) comes out. He is working on a movie in which he is the star and producer. His “mother” primps him. He is going to rehearse a love song that Mr. Wilmont gave him. He starts to but stops because he hates the song. His mother loves the song so Worthington fires her despite the fact that she’s 83 and she needs money at her age. She leaves. Worthington: “My mom is loaded. She was the original Kitty in Gunsmoke. If she hadn’t kicked Chester in the leg, she would still have that job.” All the other 13 songs he rehearsed for this movie he hated because they are old-fashioned and not today. The love songs that are good are written by the youth of America. Worthington: “We need the youths to write a song for us.” Mr. Wilmont: “How do we get in touch with them?” Worthington: “Just leave your keys in the car.” Worthington has an idea. He will make a songwriting contest in which the youth of America can write a song and the one that he likes the most he will use in his picture. The songwriters will get a free trip to Hollywood and money.
Ralph comes home. Ralph is talking to Ed about his idea of entering the songwriting contest in which the winner gets $25,000 and a trip to Hollywood. Ed is still in the hallway, and when he comes in, he says that as long as he's going to be a rich man, he isn't sure if he wants to be in Ralph's apartment anymore. The wall that has the dresser next to it now has a mirror. Ralph & Ed are going to write a song for Worthington Kenmore (I wonder if they got that last name from Sears?) Ralph says that he found out today that he is a nobody. Ed: "I could have told you that 10 years ago." Ralph says that guy came on his bus today and leans over to him. Ralph recognizes him as Jim Milligan. Ralph graduated with him while he was in grammar school. Jim is a real success story. He came from nowhere and now he is famous. Jim makes those fake salamis that hang in Delicatessen's windows. Ralph says that he wants to make a name for himself. He has conquered bus driving and now he is looking for a new challenge. Ralph is going to go into the bedroom to get some pads and pencils and he orders Ed to go upstairs to Riley's apartment and borrow his piano. Ed thinks that he should get the pads and pencils and Ralph should get the piano. Ralph orders Ed loudly to get the piano. Ed leaves.
Later on, the piano is downstairs. The girls come in while he boys aren't home. Alice has been shopping. Alice reviews what the boys have written for songs. One of the titles is: "I Am Three Games out in the Pennant Race of Love." Trixie remembers what the boys wrote yesterday: "Hello? Operator, What Is The Area Code For Love?" Alice thinks that their husbands will wind up on the hit parade for Bellevue. Alice has bought a new black wig. She uses the mirror that is now on top of the dresser to see how it will look. The wig is fashioned like a '60s hairdo. The audience applauds because Shelia looks like a 60's brunette. Alice says that she will keep this wig on when Ralph comes home, hoping that he will notice how good she looks and hoping that he will allow her to keep it. Alice is also has the wig's Styrofoam head. Trixie asks Alice to put it on the piano so Ed will think that it is Beethoven. Ha! The boys come home. Alice tries to get him to notice the new hairdo. He doesn't notice at first. Alice: "Do you notice anything?" Ralph: "Yes, wash your hair. It's filthy." Ed is still trying to figure out the Styrofoam head. Alice says that she is wearing a wig. Ralph orders her to take it back. Ralph: "I like you better as a...whatever you are." Alice: "Is my wig that bad?" Ralph: "No, it doesn't. It just takes a little while to get used to. You can keep it." Gee, that was different. Ralph & Ed plan to go to work on writing the song. Ed and Ralph think up some rhymes. Some of them are: Kiss bliss, miss diss. All of them start to sing "Terrible Song" and at the same time, Ralph & Ed continue working on their song by naming words and things that rhyme. After that, the girls leave. Alice says that this is a stupid contest. Ralph disagrees and tells her that they will win $25,000 for their song. Alice says if that ever happens, then it ain't going to rain in Indianapolis in the summer time. Ralph: "It rains in Spain Alice. Would you like to see it?" The girls leave and say that they are going to have dinner in Trixie's apartment. Ralph says that Ed should come up with the melody and he will come up with the lyrics. Ed sits down at the piano and warms up by dusting the seat and doing a little dance. Ralph yells at him to start playing the piano. Ed wants to play but there's a splinter on the bench. Ralph: "Stay there." Gee, what a great friend...NOT! Ed warms up by hitting the keys and getting up to remove the splinter. Ed warms up by playing some song that I don't know. Ralph says that one of the keys doesn't sound right. Ed says that it is out of tune because that is the part of the piano that Charlie used to hit his wife last New Year's. If that happened, shouldn't Charlie be in jail? Ed plays around that key. Ed gets a melody and plays it. Ralph says that the melody is great. The ice man comes in and sings off-key: "By The Time I Get to Phoenix, She Will Be Rising." The same song that Ed played on the piano a few seconds ago. The ice man leaves as the audience applauds. Ed says that it is catching on already. Ralph: "How dumb can you be Norton? The ice man already wrote that song." Ed: "How did I know? We have a refrigerator." Ed says that they know nothing about love. After all, they have been married 19 years. All they know about is sewers and buses and that doesn't sound too romantic. Ed says that working in the sewer is romantic. Sure it is. Ralph says that driving a bus is romantic. Sure, it is. They didn't realize that they have such romantic jobs. Ralph thinks up the idea of making a romantic song about both of their jobs. Ralph has the first line: "It was love on the bus for the two of us." Ed plays the melody for the title on the piano. Ralph has the next lines: "From the moment that we raced for that seat. We were passing the church when the bus gave a lurch, she screamed and I stepped on her feet." Ed plays the melody and Ralph asks him to take it from the top. Ed responds by sitting on top of the piano. Ralph (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Ed (yells): "YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE IT FROM THE TOP." Ralph (yells): 'GET DOWN!"
The next day at the Global Arcade, teenagers are playing arcade games and there is a recording booth so people can record songs and it only costs 25 cents. Man, do those hairdos and clothes look outdated. If any teenager got caught wearing those do's and clothes, I don't know what would happen. Ralph comes in and asks Ed Norton to drag in the big piano into the arcade. Yeah, they don't look strange doing what they are doing at all. You know something funny is going to happen. Ralph says that he is not spending $153 to record the song in a professional studio so that is why they are at an arcade. Ralph offers to help pull the piano further to the recording studio. Ed prepares to push by saying: "One for the money. Two for the show..." After a while, Ralph yells at Ed to push the piano. Ralph knows that the booth is too small for the piano. The change man comes around and sarcastically asks Ralph if he can get a man to take off the door. Change Man: "After all, I am making a quarter out of all this." Ralph would like to have his complete cooperation. They are recording a song for a multi-million dollar movie and they would like to do it in one take. Change Man: "I wouldn't want to ruin your multi-million dollar movie for 25 cents." Ralph says that if they put the piano in there (like it would really fit), it would be crowded. So they will put the piano on the outside next to the door and start recording. They start recording when arcade games noises are heard. Gee, you mean to tell me that all that time that Ralph & Ed were in the arcade but not in the booth, the teenagers weren't playing? Ralph goes out and orders everybody to be quiet. Change Man (sarcastically): "Quiet on the set! These people are trying to record a song for a Hollywood movie. Now, look you two (Ralph & Ed), I have a business to run. I would be more than happy to call the wagon to take you two to the Funny Farm." Ralph says that this isn't a joke. Ralph has a "personal" letter from Worthington Kenmore. Change Man: "'Dear Sir and/or Madam:'". The letter says that he & Norton are in a songwriting contest and the prizes that they will win. The change man notices the fine print which says: "'Contestants must be 18 years old or younger.'" Uh oh! Not something Ralph wants to hear. Ralph isn't giving up. Ralph thinks of a plan in which one of them will dress up like he's 18 years old. Ed says that Ralph could get away with it. Ed: "You don't look more than 10 years older than that sailor. Hey kid! How old are you?" Sailor: "I'm 43." Ralph says that Ed will dress up like a (back then, modern) 18-year old and Ralph will be the father. Ed says that it will be fraud and he can go to jail for 10 years. Ralph: "So what? You will be out when you are 28." Ralph tries to calm Ed's fears and says it's easy to act 18. All you have to do is think like you are 18. Ralph & Ed sing: "The World Will Know That You're 18" and dance. The tune that is playing while they are singing sounds similar to a 60's song that I think is called: "Down At Palisades Park" (that song has amusement park noises in the background). Soon, all the teenagers start dancing. It's so strange seeing Ralph & Ed sing and dance amongst so many teenagers. After the song, the teenagers clap.
At Worthington Kenmore's apartment, a kid is playing his guitar. Worthington is not impressed and orders his mother to get the kid out. Worthington is sort of has like the Simon Caldwell job. Worthington says all the music he has heard today is dreadful. Worthington goes into another room to have his mother crack his spine. Ralph comes in. Ralph: "Come on in son." Ed comes in. He looks completely ridiculous. He has on Alice's black wig, a purple & white stripped shirt, a fur vest, some jewelry hanging around his neck, weird-looking pants etc. All I can say is, if an 18-year-old wore anything like that today, I don't know what would happen (unless of course, he was dressing up for Halloween). Ralph says that Ed looks perfect. Ed doesn't know what to call "his dad". He usually called his dad long distance. Now, in the episode "Goodnight Sweet Prince", Ed revealed that his father worked the night shift at his job for 20 years and quit his job because the company wanted him to go to Akron. (Ed's Dad couldn't stand the thought of being separated from his family.) Ed says he has to comb his hair. So he takes off his wig. Ralph tells him to put the wig on. He does with Ralph’s help. Ralph: “Next time you do that, I am not touching the wig. I am twisting your head.” Worthington comes in and thinks he's being robbed when he saw Ralph & "his son." Ralph introduces "his son" as Treeny. Didn’t Worthington say that all participants have to be 18 or younger? Worthington says he looks to have some wrinkles for being 18. Ralph explains the wrinkles by saying he worries a lot about losing his hair. Worthington: “I have been looking at so many freckles; it’s a pleasure to see a wrinkle.” In response to no family resemblance, Ralph says that his "son" has his wife's eyes. Ed: "I also have her hair." The song is called: "Amore La Sobre La Guagua.” Worthington likes the title. He is thinking of a tropical setting. The title means: "Love on a Bus." Gee, that doesn't make sense. Worthington: "Loses a lot in the translation. Doesn't it?" Ed: "I learned that title from a Cuban fellow who works in the sewer with me." It is explained that "Treeny" works in the sewer after school so he can be kept off the streets. Worthington: "Do you mind if I have a drink? It's a birthday. My migraine is 38 years old." Ralph puts on the record. Ralph & Ed get ready to dance. The first few seconds of the record has Ralph saying: "Norton, will you please play the piano?" and Ed saying: "Gee. What a grouch." The piano gets played. Somehow, Worthington Kenmore isn't suspicious about hearing that dialog on the record. The song: "It Was Love on The Bus for the Two of Us" complete with lyrics, bells, buzzers & gun shots, (from the arcade) are heard. Ralph & Ed mouth the words. Worthington thinks that the song is interesting and likes the noises. Ralph: "The stupid noises were my ideas." Ed: "He comes up with a lot of stupid ideas." Worthington says "Treeny" wins, but the prizes he won't get until he's 21. D'oh! Not something they want to hear. Worthington: "The money is in a trust fund but he gets to go to Hollywood. Ed agrees. Ralph: "Let's go home and don't walk alongside with me." They leave.
At the Kramden apartment, the girls are having coffee. Trixie can't believe that they are going to pas off Ed as 18 years old. Alice now knows that Ed has his wig. Trixie: "I hope Ed didn't wear that wig home. A girl isn't safe on the street nowadays." The boys come home. Alice: "Trix, we are saved. Friar Tuck and Prince Valiant are here." Ralph tells them that Mr. Kenmore loved the song. The girls are happy. Ralph: "We are not going to get the money because Ed is a minor." Because "Treeny" is "18", the money goes into a trust fund until he can before a judge to prove he's 21. Alice laughs at the thought of Ed going before a judge and saying he's 21. Worthington comes by. Ralph introduces Alice as his wife and Trixie introduces herself as "Treeny's" high school sweetheart. Worthington: "You're kidding." Ralph tells Worthington the truth about them. Worthington says he wasn't fooled by that black hair. Worthington says that they knew that Ralph & Ed were faking, but he was so desperate to hear a song, that he would listen to anybody. As much as it pains Worthington, he will cancel the contest and declare no winner. But, he will offer them a trip to Hollywood all expenses paid. Everybody is happy. Worthington says that the song will give him a lot of publicity and save him a lot of money because they are going by bus. Worthington leaves. Ralph: "We hit the jackpot." This scheme of Ralph, sort of worked, I guess. They all sing: "We've Got It Made."
Jackie praises the Miami Beach audience and says "Goodnight!" The blue still with the J.G. Show logo is shown. During the credits, Johnny plugs the next episode of the Color Honeymooners.
I was surprised how much of this episode was edited in syndication. Normally, only say several minutes are edited so I didn’t expect the first two scenes to be edited out.
Episode #209 (Syndicated episode #32)
TV: Hour (edited.)
DVD: Attached to “Play It Again Norton”, “Mexican Hat Trick” & “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”
Air Date: Sat. 10/4/69
In 2022, I got a producers copy from filmsca.com. I bought this and not only does it NOT have any rare footage, it doesn’t have the curtain call nor does it have commercials. To be fair, the seller does say that there are black spaces where the commercials were.
"Ralph Goes Hollywood":
At a train station in which the guy on the P.A. (Johnny Olsen) announces upcoming trains. A reporter gets ready to greet the Kramdens and Nortons. His boss (later identified as Pete Mountgovern and played by Bert Parks) comes by. He sings: ”Hollywood Welcome” in which the June Taylor Dancers come out and dance. Some of the dancers are dressed as Indians. Im pretty sure that that won’t fly today. After that, The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in Hollywood amid much fanfare. There is singing, dancing & even the lighting of a cannon. They can't believe the attention they are getting. Pete Mountgovern from Peekskill Studios greets them with exciting news. For their Hollywood stay, they are all going to stay in a Beverly Hills home and the studios are going to pay all their expenses. A reporter named Bob Allison (played by George Petrie) interviews them. Ralph introduces Alice. Alice talks but Ralph cuts her off. Ed talks about the California climate. The reporter introduces the beautiful lady next to him, so Ed brings over one of the female dancers. Ralph says that the Nortons have never been on TV before. How about the time that Ed & Ralph were on Beat The Clock as well as the time that Ed was at a Dodgers game where he got a lump on his head from a baseball? Ed says that he has been on TV before. He was in an on-location commercial where he was going to tell his boss that he had bad breath. Ralph challenges Ed to fight but the girls calm him down. Ralph talks about "Love On A Bus" and that he intends to write more songs. Bob signs off. Pete says that that was the worst interview he has ever seen. Ralph says not to worry and from no on, he will do all the talking in interviews. Oh boy!
On the outside of the house, Ralph gets a call from John Wayne. Ralph says that Maureen O'Hara doesn't live here now (apparently there were staying at Maureen O'Hara's house). He asks John if he never heard of him. John hangs up. The girls are shown to be wearing some fancy clothes. Ralph praises the food and mispronounces the name of every type of food. Ed comes out with scuba diving gear (except he's wearing a tank top and a bathing suit instead of a black body suit). Ralph: "Looking at you reminds me. I didn't order any frog legs. Take that outfit off." Ralph: "Don't you now an ascot when you see one?" Ed: "You certainly are." Ed goes in and takes off his flippers. When he does, he still walks like he's had them on. Ralph calls Garrity and tells him that's he's a bum. Garrity calls him back. It turns out that he and Maureen O'Hara are cousins. Ralph says that he's ordered some more clothes from Bruce of Beverly Hills. Alice thinks that what Ralph is doing is terrible. Ralph sings: "The Hollywood Life Is For Me." Alice says that Ralph has gone Hollywood. The girls go inside so they can change to go to Disneyland. Ed comes back out all dressed. Ralph says that he’s written one hit song. He can write another, and another, and another. He can live out here all the time. Ed says that he & Ralph got lucky with that song. Ralph says that he could write more hit songs. A golfer yells: "Fore!" The golf ball breaks the champagne bottle. Ralph says that ball could have killed either one of them, so he calls out the golfer saying that he will wrap his golf club around his neck. The golfer comes by. It's Bing Crosby. Ralph shows him the golf ball that Bing hit. Bing says that ball is very special to him. The rubber from the ball was melted down from Barry Fitzgerald's bicycle's front tire. Ed showcases his sense of humor. Bing: "What do you do?" Ed: "I work in the sewer." Bing: "That explains it." Ralph says that he has the perfect song for Bing. Bing says he needs help with his slice (that's something to do with golf). Ralph offers to help. He says that he's an "excellent" golfer. Ed says that he's not a good golfer. Ed: "Because of my profession, my favorite past time is water polo." Ed shows him how to play golf. He addresses the ball by saying: "Hello Ball!" Ralph slaps him across the back. This is just like in "The Golfer." Ralph then shows Bing how to play golf. When he swings, he accidentally knocks the plates and other things off the table. Once again, just like in "The Golfer." Bing tries to leave. Ralph invites Bing to a big party tonight. Bing says that he has to go to his psychiatrist. Ralph: "You go to a psychiatrist?" Bing: "No, but I am starting to now." Ralph says the party will be big. Ralph: "There will be all kinds of food, maids, butlers etc. Ed wonders how Ralph can throw a party as big as the one he's planning. Ralph says that Peekskill Studios will pay the expenses. Alice introduces Maureen O'Hara. Ralph says that John Wayne called. Maureen says that Garrity says that Ralph is STILL A BUM!
That night, the butlers and maids are getting everything ready. Ed and then Ralph come out. Ralph is wearing a tuxedo. Ralph: "Staff, dinner will be at 7 unless of course Bing doesn't come." Ed: "In that case, we will eat at 6." Pete Mountgovern comes by. He is very upset that Ralph has signed all these expensive bills. Pete: "Who do you think you are, Jackie Gleason?" Ralph: "How dare you? I'm not that nuts." Pete says that he has signed his last bill. From now on, the studio will give Ralph $35 a day and anything more than that, Ralph will have to pay. Pete orders all the staff to leave. Ralph: "What will I do when Bing gets here?" Pete: "Take him to a hot dog stand and don't sign for the mustard." Pete leaves. Ralph is upset. The wives come out all glamorous Ralph says that the party is off. Alice: "Ralph, you have only yourself to blame." Ralph: "Oooh." Trixie suggests having a small dinner outside on the patio. Ralph thinks that the idea is dumb. Ed says that it's a shame because all he has is his friends and his wife and no butlers or maids. Ralph gets an idea. Ed will be the butler, Alice will be the cook and Trixie will be the maid. They don't like the idea, but Ralph doesn't care. Alice says that she wants to meet Bing under the proper circumstances, so Ralph introduces Bing to her in the kitchen. Ralph orders that all of them to get ready. Trixie says that since Ed wrote the song too, and since now he's a butler, is he going to take this from Ralph. Ed: "Ralph, I have something to say. Can I have Tuesdays off?" They all get ready.
Later, Alice comes out and asks why Ralph needs so much silverware if he and Bing are going to be the only ones eating. Ralph says that it is needed according to the book "Beetrice Bucks Beginners Book on Basic But ling for Buffets, Balls, Banquets & Bar Mitzvahs" Alice: "I have one more B: Baloney." Ed comes out dressed in a tuxedo that he rented from a funeral home. Ralph talks to Ed about what Ed should do according to the book. Ralph (reading): "'A well-trained English butler always phrases things in the third person. But in the democratic American way, a butler always phrases things in the second person. He will say: 'Will you be seated while I see if Mrs. Moore is at home?''" Ralph: "What should I do if Mrs. Moore isn't home?" Ralph says that that name is a figure of speech and that he IS Mrs. Moore. Ed: "Boy, you sure gone Hollywood in a hurry. Ralph: "'The duties of a butler include answering the telephone, cleaning the silverware, serving cocktails. When serving a meal, he has to serve from the left and takes away from the right. He also decrumbs the table. If no valet, he must do the valet duties.' Do you think you can remember all this?" Ed: "How about we take a look at this next chapter?’Gracious Living Without Servants.'" Ralph says that if he doesn't remember anything, look it up in the book. Ralph also instructs Ed to come in every now and then and say that a very important man is on the phone. Bing Crosby rings the doorbell. Ed opens it. Ed: "I'll see if Mrs. Moore is at home." Ralph is upset. Ralph: "I'll take over Heathcliff (Ed)." Bing apologizes for what happened this afternoon. Ed: "The other guests may be late. They haven't been told." Ed gets a chair ready for Bing by cleaning it thoroughly. Ralph orders Ed to get the drinks. Ed knocks over a potted plant on his way out. Bing: "Make mine a double." Ed (yells): "I DON'T MIND IF I DO." Bing says that he has covered every subject in his songs. Bing sings: "There Is Nothing I Haven't Sung About" (complete with off-camera music and clapping from the audience). Ralph snaps his fingers while he's singing. Ed comes in with cocktails and takes the lemons (I think) out of them. Ralph says that Bing has not covered one topic and Ralph said that if he had a song that included a topic that Bing did not cover, he would like to know what that subject was. Ed comes in with a telephone. According to Ed, it's an important singer. Ed says that it's Bobby Breen. Ralph can't believe it (and not in a good way). Ed leaves. Ralph says that Bobby Breen is a code name for Frank Sinatra so he can get through to Ralph. Bing: "That kid Frank needs a hit." Ralph says that he's a pretty big song writer. Bing: "I smell a rat." Ed (yells): "DINNER IS SERVED!" Ed comes out with the cook (Alice) and the maid (Trixie). Ed starts to decrumb the table. Ralph (to Ed, yells): "WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN YET!" Ed (yells): "BEETRICE'S BOOK SAYS TO DECRUMB THE TABLE." Trixie: "That is telling him Ed." Bing says that Ralph runs a very democratic household. Ralph: "Heathcliff, serve the dinner." Alice: "Heathcliff?" The girls start laughing at the fact that Ralph called Ed Heathcliff. Bing asks Ralph: "Does the help live here or do they go back to the hospital at night?" Ralph (yells): "I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THEY GO TO THE HOSPITAL TONIGHT." Ed serves the soup but is not sure how to serve it, so he asks Bing to hold the soup while he looks in the book. Ed finds out the correct way to serve the soup. Ed serves the soup from the left. Ed: "We serve from the left and take away from the right." Just as Bing was about to eat the soup, Ed takes it away. Ralph takes off his jacket. Ralph (yells): "OH-KAY! PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP! Trixie says that if he hits Ed, he would have to hit her first. Alice: "If you hit either one of them, I am going back to my mother." Bing: "I just had the same thought." Ralph fires the whole staff. Bing then gets told the whole truth. Bing: "Ralph, you are the champion of phonies. Because of that, don't leave Hollywood Ralph." Bing leaves. The Nortons & Alice leave Ralph alone.
The next day, Ralph is moping. Bing hits a golf ball through the living room window. Bing comes in and apologizes about the window. Ralph asks Bing to sit down and have some coffee. Ralph then tells Bing the whole truth about himself. Ralph says that his friends and his wife aren't talking to him and he doesn't blame them if they never talked to him again. He will never play the big shot again. Sure! The Nortons & Alice hear Ralph and forgive him. They all sing: "You Got To Be You."
At the curtain call, Jackie praises the Miami Beach audience and says "Goodnight!” During the credit roll, Johnny plugs the next episode of the Color Honeymooners.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #208 (Syndicated episode #31)
TV: An hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to “Ralph Goes Hollywood”, “Mexican Hat Trick” & “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”
Air Date: Sat. 9/27/69
"Play It Again, Norton":
Although not a remake, it is similar to “Songwriters.”
The opening of the show is different than that of previous seasons. The differences are that as far as the audio is concerned, it’s the same as the syndicated openings (except that when Johnny Olsen reads: “The Jackie Gleason Show starring Jackie Gleason, Art Carney in The Honeymooners, the camera points to the sky and the words are in big red letters and than one of the Glea Girls says: “With Shelia MacRae, Jean Kean, special guest star: Paul Lynde, June Taylor Dancers and Sammy Spear and his orchestra During that time, they were down to only two Glea Girls.)
In a scene that you will NOT see in syndication, Johnny Olsen introduces the NEW Jackie Gleason. New oranges curtains are shown at the curtain call (unless the original green & black ones were painted over). By this time, Jackie Gleason lost a LOT of weight. He comes out in a tuxedo to the applause of the Miami Beach crowd. Jackie: “If a Ms. America contest was here, you would be looking at the winner now. I gave my raincoat to the NY Yankees so when it rains, they can use it to cover up the infield.” The audience laughs as Jackie continues to joke about how much weight he previously had. Sadly, he later ended up gaining some weight. Jackie says it’s time for the Honeymooners. Jack: “And away we go.”
In another scene you won’t see in syndication, they show the “outside” & then “inside” of Sound Stage 4 of Peekskill Studios. In real life, such a company existed. The inside looks to be VERY colorful. The June Taylor Dancers come out, dance and sing “Why Take Me Out of This World?” After that, they leave and person named Worthington Kenmore (played by Paul Lynde) comes out. He is working on a movie in which he is the star and producer. His “mother” primps him. He is going to rehearse a love song that Mr. Wilmont gave him. He starts to but stops because he hates the song. His mother loves the song so Worthington fires her despite the fact that she’s 83 and she needs money at her age. She leaves. Worthington: “My mom is loaded. She was the original Kitty in Gunsmoke. If she hadn’t kicked Chester in the leg, she would still have that job.” All the other 13 songs he rehearsed for this movie he hated because they are old-fashioned and not today. The love songs that are good are written by the youth of America. Worthington: “We need the youths to write a song for us.” Mr. Wilmont: “How do we get in touch with them?” Worthington: “Just leave your keys in the car.” Worthington has an idea. He will make a songwriting contest in which the youth of America can write a song and the one that he likes the most he will use in his picture. The songwriters will get a free trip to Hollywood and money.
Ralph comes home. Ralph is talking to Ed about his idea of entering the songwriting contest in which the winner gets $25,000 and a trip to Hollywood. Ed is still in the hallway, and when he comes in, he says that as long as he's going to be a rich man, he isn't sure if he wants to be in Ralph's apartment anymore. The wall that has the dresser next to it now has a mirror. Ralph & Ed are going to write a song for Worthington Kenmore (I wonder if they got that last name from Sears?) Ralph says that he found out today that he is a nobody. Ed: "I could have told you that 10 years ago." Ralph says that guy came on his bus today and leans over to him. Ralph recognizes him as Jim Milligan. Ralph graduated with him while he was in grammar school. Jim is a real success story. He came from nowhere and now he is famous. Jim makes those fake salamis that hang in Delicatessen's windows. Ralph says that he wants to make a name for himself. He has conquered bus driving and now he is looking for a new challenge. Ralph is going to go into the bedroom to get some pads and pencils and he orders Ed to go upstairs to Riley's apartment and borrow his piano. Ed thinks that he should get the pads and pencils and Ralph should get the piano. Ralph orders Ed loudly to get the piano. Ed leaves.
Later on, the piano is downstairs. The girls come in while he boys aren't home. Alice has been shopping. Alice reviews what the boys have written for songs. One of the titles is: "I Am Three Games out in the Pennant Race of Love." Trixie remembers what the boys wrote yesterday: "Hello? Operator, What Is The Area Code For Love?" Alice thinks that their husbands will wind up on the hit parade for Bellevue. Alice has bought a new black wig. She uses the mirror that is now on top of the dresser to see how it will look. The wig is fashioned like a '60s hairdo. The audience applauds because Shelia looks like a 60's brunette. Alice says that she will keep this wig on when Ralph comes home, hoping that he will notice how good she looks and hoping that he will allow her to keep it. Alice is also has the wig's Styrofoam head. Trixie asks Alice to put it on the piano so Ed will think that it is Beethoven. Ha! The boys come home. Alice tries to get him to notice the new hairdo. He doesn't notice at first. Alice: "Do you notice anything?" Ralph: "Yes, wash your hair. It's filthy." Ed is still trying to figure out the Styrofoam head. Alice says that she is wearing a wig. Ralph orders her to take it back. Ralph: "I like you better as a...whatever you are." Alice: "Is my wig that bad?" Ralph: "No, it doesn't. It just takes a little while to get used to. You can keep it." Gee, that was different. Ralph & Ed plan to go to work on writing the song. Ed and Ralph think up some rhymes. Some of them are: Kiss bliss, miss diss. All of them start to sing "Terrible Song" and at the same time, Ralph & Ed continue working on their song by naming words and things that rhyme. After that, the girls leave. Alice says that this is a stupid contest. Ralph disagrees and tells her that they will win $25,000 for their song. Alice says if that ever happens, then it ain't going to rain in Indianapolis in the summer time. Ralph: "It rains in Spain Alice. Would you like to see it?" The girls leave and say that they are going to have dinner in Trixie's apartment. Ralph says that Ed should come up with the melody and he will come up with the lyrics. Ed sits down at the piano and warms up by dusting the seat and doing a little dance. Ralph yells at him to start playing the piano. Ed wants to play but there's a splinter on the bench. Ralph: "Stay there." Gee, what a great friend...NOT! Ed warms up by hitting the keys and getting up to remove the splinter. Ed warms up by playing some song that I don't know. Ralph says that one of the keys doesn't sound right. Ed says that it is out of tune because that is the part of the piano that Charlie used to hit his wife last New Year's. If that happened, shouldn't Charlie be in jail? Ed plays around that key. Ed gets a melody and plays it. Ralph says that the melody is great. The ice man comes in and sings off-key: "By The Time I Get to Phoenix, She Will Be Rising." The same song that Ed played on the piano a few seconds ago. The ice man leaves as the audience applauds. Ed says that it is catching on already. Ralph: "How dumb can you be Norton? The ice man already wrote that song." Ed: "How did I know? We have a refrigerator." Ed says that they know nothing about love. After all, they have been married 19 years. All they know about is sewers and buses and that doesn't sound too romantic. Ed says that working in the sewer is romantic. Sure it is. Ralph says that driving a bus is romantic. Sure, it is. They didn't realize that they have such romantic jobs. Ralph thinks up the idea of making a romantic song about both of their jobs. Ralph has the first line: "It was love on the bus for the two of us." Ed plays the melody for the title on the piano. Ralph has the next lines: "From the moment that we raced for that seat. We were passing the church when the bus gave a lurch, she screamed and I stepped on her feet." Ed plays the melody and Ralph asks him to take it from the top. Ed responds by sitting on top of the piano. Ralph (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Ed (yells): "YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE IT FROM THE TOP." Ralph (yells): 'GET DOWN!"
The next day at the Global Arcade, teenagers are playing arcade games and there is a recording booth so people can record songs and it only costs 25 cents. Man, do those hairdos and clothes look outdated. If any teenager got caught wearing those do's and clothes, I don't know what would happen. Ralph comes in and asks Ed Norton to drag in the big piano into the arcade. Yeah, they don't look strange doing what they are doing at all. You know something funny is going to happen. Ralph says that he is not spending $153 to record the song in a professional studio so that is why they are at an arcade. Ralph offers to help pull the piano further to the recording studio. Ed prepares to push by saying: "One for the money. Two for the show..." After a while, Ralph yells at Ed to push the piano. Ralph knows that the booth is too small for the piano. The change man comes around and sarcastically asks Ralph if he can get a man to take off the door. Change Man: "After all, I am making a quarter out of all this." Ralph would like to have his complete cooperation. They are recording a song for a multi-million dollar movie and they would like to do it in one take. Change Man: "I wouldn't want to ruin your multi-million dollar movie for 25 cents." Ralph says that if they put the piano in there (like it would really fit), it would be crowded. So they will put the piano on the outside next to the door and start recording. They start recording when arcade games noises are heard. Gee, you mean to tell me that all that time that Ralph & Ed were in the arcade but not in the booth, the teenagers weren't playing? Ralph goes out and orders everybody to be quiet. Change Man (sarcastically): "Quiet on the set! These people are trying to record a song for a Hollywood movie. Now, look you two (Ralph & Ed), I have a business to run. I would be more than happy to call the wagon to take you two to the Funny Farm." Ralph says that this isn't a joke. Ralph has a "personal" letter from Worthington Kenmore. Change Man: "'Dear Sir and/or Madam:'". The letter says that he & Norton are in a songwriting contest and the prizes that they will win. The change man notices the fine print which says: "'Contestants must be 18 years old or younger.'" Uh oh! Not something Ralph wants to hear. Ralph isn't giving up. Ralph thinks of a plan in which one of them will dress up like he's 18 years old. Ed says that Ralph could get away with it. Ed: "You don't look more than 10 years older than that sailor. Hey kid! How old are you?" Sailor: "I'm 43." Ralph says that Ed will dress up like a (back then, modern) 18-year old and Ralph will be the father. Ed says that it will be fraud and he can go to jail for 10 years. Ralph: "So what? You will be out when you are 28." Ralph tries to calm Ed's fears and says it's easy to act 18. All you have to do is think like you are 18. Ralph & Ed sing: "The World Will Know That You're 18" and dance. The tune that is playing while they are singing sounds similar to a 60's song that I think is called: "Down At Palisades Park" (that song has amusement park noises in the background). Soon, all the teenagers start dancing. It's so strange seeing Ralph & Ed sing and dance amongst so many teenagers. After the song, the teenagers clap.
At Worthington Kenmore's apartment, a kid is playing his guitar. Worthington is not impressed and orders his mother to get the kid out. Worthington is sort of has like the Simon Caldwell job. Worthington says all the music he has heard today is dreadful. Worthington goes into another room to have his mother crack his spine. Ralph comes in. Ralph: "Come on in son." Ed comes in. He looks completely ridiculous. He has on Alice's black wig, a purple & white stripped shirt, a fur vest, some jewelry hanging around his neck, weird-looking pants etc. All I can say is, if an 18-year-old wore anything like that today, I don't know what would happen (unless of course, he was dressing up for Halloween). Ralph says that Ed looks perfect. Ed doesn't know what to call "his dad". He usually called his dad long distance. Now, in the episode "Goodnight Sweet Prince", Ed revealed that his father worked the night shift at his job for 20 years and quit his job because the company wanted him to go to Akron. (Ed's Dad couldn't stand the thought of being separated from his family.) Ed says he has to comb his hair. So he takes off his wig. Ralph tells him to put the wig on. He does with Ralph’s help. Ralph: “Next time you do that, I am not touching the wig. I am twisting your head.” Worthington comes in and thinks he's being robbed when he saw Ralph & "his son." Ralph introduces "his son" as Treeny. Didn’t Worthington say that all participants have to be 18 or younger? Worthington says he looks to have some wrinkles for being 18. Ralph explains the wrinkles by saying he worries a lot about losing his hair. Worthington: “I have been looking at so many freckles; it’s a pleasure to see a wrinkle.” In response to no family resemblance, Ralph says that his "son" has his wife's eyes. Ed: "I also have her hair." The song is called: "Amore La Sobre La Guagua.” Worthington likes the title. He is thinking of a tropical setting. The title means: "Love on a Bus." Gee, that doesn't make sense. Worthington: "Loses a lot in the translation. Doesn't it?" Ed: "I learned that title from a Cuban fellow who works in the sewer with me." It is explained that "Treeny" works in the sewer after school so he can be kept off the streets. Worthington: "Do you mind if I have a drink? It's a birthday. My migraine is 38 years old." Ralph puts on the record. Ralph & Ed get ready to dance. The first few seconds of the record has Ralph saying: "Norton, will you please play the piano?" and Ed saying: "Gee. What a grouch." The piano gets played. Somehow, Worthington Kenmore isn't suspicious about hearing that dialog on the record. The song: "It Was Love on The Bus for the Two of Us" complete with lyrics, bells, buzzers & gun shots, (from the arcade) are heard. Ralph & Ed mouth the words. Worthington thinks that the song is interesting and likes the noises. Ralph: "The stupid noises were my ideas." Ed: "He comes up with a lot of stupid ideas." Worthington says "Treeny" wins, but the prizes he won't get until he's 21. D'oh! Not something they want to hear. Worthington: "The money is in a trust fund but he gets to go to Hollywood. Ed agrees. Ralph: "Let's go home and don't walk alongside with me." They leave.
At the Kramden apartment, the girls are having coffee. Trixie can't believe that they are going to pas off Ed as 18 years old. Alice now knows that Ed has his wig. Trixie: "I hope Ed didn't wear that wig home. A girl isn't safe on the street nowadays." The boys come home. Alice: "Trix, we are saved. Friar Tuck and Prince Valiant are here." Ralph tells them that Mr. Kenmore loved the song. The girls are happy. Ralph: "We are not going to get the money because Ed is a minor." Because "Treeny" is "18", the money goes into a trust fund until he can before a judge to prove he's 21. Alice laughs at the thought of Ed going before a judge and saying he's 21. Worthington comes by. Ralph introduces Alice as his wife and Trixie introduces herself as "Treeny's" high school sweetheart. Worthington: "You're kidding." Ralph tells Worthington the truth about them. Worthington says he wasn't fooled by that black hair. Worthington says that they knew that Ralph & Ed were faking, but he was so desperate to hear a song, that he would listen to anybody. As much as it pains Worthington, he will cancel the contest and declare no winner. But, he will offer them a trip to Hollywood all expenses paid. Everybody is happy. Worthington says that the song will give him a lot of publicity and save him a lot of money because they are going by bus. Worthington leaves. Ralph: "We hit the jackpot." This scheme of Ralph, sort of worked, I guess. They all sing: "We've Got It Made."
Jackie praises the Miami Beach audience and says "Goodnight!" The blue still with the J.G. Show logo is shown. During the credits, Johnny plugs the next episode of the Color Honeymooners.
I was surprised how much of this episode was edited in syndication. Normally, only say several minutes are edited so I didn’t expect the first two scenes to be edited out.
Episode #209 (Syndicated episode #32)
TV: Hour (edited.)
DVD: Attached to “Play It Again Norton”, “Mexican Hat Trick” & “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”
Air Date: Sat. 10/4/69
In 2022, I got a producers copy from filmsca.com. I bought this and not only does it NOT have any rare footage, it doesn’t have the curtain call nor does it have commercials. To be fair, the seller does say that there are black spaces where the commercials were.
"Ralph Goes Hollywood":
At a train station in which the guy on the P.A. (Johnny Olsen) announces upcoming trains. A reporter gets ready to greet the Kramdens and Nortons. His boss (later identified as Pete Mountgovern and played by Bert Parks) comes by. He sings: ”Hollywood Welcome” in which the June Taylor Dancers come out and dance. Some of the dancers are dressed as Indians. Im pretty sure that that won’t fly today. After that, The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in Hollywood amid much fanfare. There is singing, dancing & even the lighting of a cannon. They can't believe the attention they are getting. Pete Mountgovern from Peekskill Studios greets them with exciting news. For their Hollywood stay, they are all going to stay in a Beverly Hills home and the studios are going to pay all their expenses. A reporter named Bob Allison (played by George Petrie) interviews them. Ralph introduces Alice. Alice talks but Ralph cuts her off. Ed talks about the California climate. The reporter introduces the beautiful lady next to him, so Ed brings over one of the female dancers. Ralph says that the Nortons have never been on TV before. How about the time that Ed & Ralph were on Beat The Clock as well as the time that Ed was at a Dodgers game where he got a lump on his head from a baseball? Ed says that he has been on TV before. He was in an on-location commercial where he was going to tell his boss that he had bad breath. Ralph challenges Ed to fight but the girls calm him down. Ralph talks about "Love On A Bus" and that he intends to write more songs. Bob signs off. Pete says that that was the worst interview he has ever seen. Ralph says not to worry and from no on, he will do all the talking in interviews. Oh boy!
On the outside of the house, Ralph gets a call from John Wayne. Ralph says that Maureen O'Hara doesn't live here now (apparently there were staying at Maureen O'Hara's house). He asks John if he never heard of him. John hangs up. The girls are shown to be wearing some fancy clothes. Ralph praises the food and mispronounces the name of every type of food. Ed comes out with scuba diving gear (except he's wearing a tank top and a bathing suit instead of a black body suit). Ralph: "Looking at you reminds me. I didn't order any frog legs. Take that outfit off." Ralph: "Don't you now an ascot when you see one?" Ed: "You certainly are." Ed goes in and takes off his flippers. When he does, he still walks like he's had them on. Ralph calls Garrity and tells him that's he's a bum. Garrity calls him back. It turns out that he and Maureen O'Hara are cousins. Ralph says that he's ordered some more clothes from Bruce of Beverly Hills. Alice thinks that what Ralph is doing is terrible. Ralph sings: "The Hollywood Life Is For Me." Alice says that Ralph has gone Hollywood. The girls go inside so they can change to go to Disneyland. Ed comes back out all dressed. Ralph says that he’s written one hit song. He can write another, and another, and another. He can live out here all the time. Ed says that he & Ralph got lucky with that song. Ralph says that he could write more hit songs. A golfer yells: "Fore!" The golf ball breaks the champagne bottle. Ralph says that ball could have killed either one of them, so he calls out the golfer saying that he will wrap his golf club around his neck. The golfer comes by. It's Bing Crosby. Ralph shows him the golf ball that Bing hit. Bing says that ball is very special to him. The rubber from the ball was melted down from Barry Fitzgerald's bicycle's front tire. Ed showcases his sense of humor. Bing: "What do you do?" Ed: "I work in the sewer." Bing: "That explains it." Ralph says that he has the perfect song for Bing. Bing says he needs help with his slice (that's something to do with golf). Ralph offers to help. He says that he's an "excellent" golfer. Ed says that he's not a good golfer. Ed: "Because of my profession, my favorite past time is water polo." Ed shows him how to play golf. He addresses the ball by saying: "Hello Ball!" Ralph slaps him across the back. This is just like in "The Golfer." Ralph then shows Bing how to play golf. When he swings, he accidentally knocks the plates and other things off the table. Once again, just like in "The Golfer." Bing tries to leave. Ralph invites Bing to a big party tonight. Bing says that he has to go to his psychiatrist. Ralph: "You go to a psychiatrist?" Bing: "No, but I am starting to now." Ralph says the party will be big. Ralph: "There will be all kinds of food, maids, butlers etc. Ed wonders how Ralph can throw a party as big as the one he's planning. Ralph says that Peekskill Studios will pay the expenses. Alice introduces Maureen O'Hara. Ralph says that John Wayne called. Maureen says that Garrity says that Ralph is STILL A BUM!
That night, the butlers and maids are getting everything ready. Ed and then Ralph come out. Ralph is wearing a tuxedo. Ralph: "Staff, dinner will be at 7 unless of course Bing doesn't come." Ed: "In that case, we will eat at 6." Pete Mountgovern comes by. He is very upset that Ralph has signed all these expensive bills. Pete: "Who do you think you are, Jackie Gleason?" Ralph: "How dare you? I'm not that nuts." Pete says that he has signed his last bill. From now on, the studio will give Ralph $35 a day and anything more than that, Ralph will have to pay. Pete orders all the staff to leave. Ralph: "What will I do when Bing gets here?" Pete: "Take him to a hot dog stand and don't sign for the mustard." Pete leaves. Ralph is upset. The wives come out all glamorous Ralph says that the party is off. Alice: "Ralph, you have only yourself to blame." Ralph: "Oooh." Trixie suggests having a small dinner outside on the patio. Ralph thinks that the idea is dumb. Ed says that it's a shame because all he has is his friends and his wife and no butlers or maids. Ralph gets an idea. Ed will be the butler, Alice will be the cook and Trixie will be the maid. They don't like the idea, but Ralph doesn't care. Alice says that she wants to meet Bing under the proper circumstances, so Ralph introduces Bing to her in the kitchen. Ralph orders that all of them to get ready. Trixie says that since Ed wrote the song too, and since now he's a butler, is he going to take this from Ralph. Ed: "Ralph, I have something to say. Can I have Tuesdays off?" They all get ready.
Later, Alice comes out and asks why Ralph needs so much silverware if he and Bing are going to be the only ones eating. Ralph says that it is needed according to the book "Beetrice Bucks Beginners Book on Basic But ling for Buffets, Balls, Banquets & Bar Mitzvahs" Alice: "I have one more B: Baloney." Ed comes out dressed in a tuxedo that he rented from a funeral home. Ralph talks to Ed about what Ed should do according to the book. Ralph (reading): "'A well-trained English butler always phrases things in the third person. But in the democratic American way, a butler always phrases things in the second person. He will say: 'Will you be seated while I see if Mrs. Moore is at home?''" Ralph: "What should I do if Mrs. Moore isn't home?" Ralph says that that name is a figure of speech and that he IS Mrs. Moore. Ed: "Boy, you sure gone Hollywood in a hurry. Ralph: "'The duties of a butler include answering the telephone, cleaning the silverware, serving cocktails. When serving a meal, he has to serve from the left and takes away from the right. He also decrumbs the table. If no valet, he must do the valet duties.' Do you think you can remember all this?" Ed: "How about we take a look at this next chapter?’Gracious Living Without Servants.'" Ralph says that if he doesn't remember anything, look it up in the book. Ralph also instructs Ed to come in every now and then and say that a very important man is on the phone. Bing Crosby rings the doorbell. Ed opens it. Ed: "I'll see if Mrs. Moore is at home." Ralph is upset. Ralph: "I'll take over Heathcliff (Ed)." Bing apologizes for what happened this afternoon. Ed: "The other guests may be late. They haven't been told." Ed gets a chair ready for Bing by cleaning it thoroughly. Ralph orders Ed to get the drinks. Ed knocks over a potted plant on his way out. Bing: "Make mine a double." Ed (yells): "I DON'T MIND IF I DO." Bing says that he has covered every subject in his songs. Bing sings: "There Is Nothing I Haven't Sung About" (complete with off-camera music and clapping from the audience). Ralph snaps his fingers while he's singing. Ed comes in with cocktails and takes the lemons (I think) out of them. Ralph says that Bing has not covered one topic and Ralph said that if he had a song that included a topic that Bing did not cover, he would like to know what that subject was. Ed comes in with a telephone. According to Ed, it's an important singer. Ed says that it's Bobby Breen. Ralph can't believe it (and not in a good way). Ed leaves. Ralph says that Bobby Breen is a code name for Frank Sinatra so he can get through to Ralph. Bing: "That kid Frank needs a hit." Ralph says that he's a pretty big song writer. Bing: "I smell a rat." Ed (yells): "DINNER IS SERVED!" Ed comes out with the cook (Alice) and the maid (Trixie). Ed starts to decrumb the table. Ralph (to Ed, yells): "WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN YET!" Ed (yells): "BEETRICE'S BOOK SAYS TO DECRUMB THE TABLE." Trixie: "That is telling him Ed." Bing says that Ralph runs a very democratic household. Ralph: "Heathcliff, serve the dinner." Alice: "Heathcliff?" The girls start laughing at the fact that Ralph called Ed Heathcliff. Bing asks Ralph: "Does the help live here or do they go back to the hospital at night?" Ralph (yells): "I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THEY GO TO THE HOSPITAL TONIGHT." Ed serves the soup but is not sure how to serve it, so he asks Bing to hold the soup while he looks in the book. Ed finds out the correct way to serve the soup. Ed serves the soup from the left. Ed: "We serve from the left and take away from the right." Just as Bing was about to eat the soup, Ed takes it away. Ralph takes off his jacket. Ralph (yells): "OH-KAY! PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP! Trixie says that if he hits Ed, he would have to hit her first. Alice: "If you hit either one of them, I am going back to my mother." Bing: "I just had the same thought." Ralph fires the whole staff. Bing then gets told the whole truth. Bing: "Ralph, you are the champion of phonies. Because of that, don't leave Hollywood Ralph." Bing leaves. The Nortons & Alice leave Ralph alone.
The next day, Ralph is moping. Bing hits a golf ball through the living room window. Bing comes in and apologizes about the window. Ralph asks Bing to sit down and have some coffee. Ralph then tells Bing the whole truth about himself. Ralph says that his friends and his wife aren't talking to him and he doesn't blame them if they never talked to him again. He will never play the big shot again. Sure! The Nortons & Alice hear Ralph and forgive him. They all sing: "You Got To Be You."
At the curtain call, Jackie praises the Miami Beach audience and says "Goodnight!” During the credit roll, Johnny plugs the next episode of the Color Honeymooners.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.