Frank Gannucci
10-09-2020, 06:55 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Two For The Money" & "Nephew of The Bride":
Episode #193 (Syndicated episode #22)
TV: Hour-long musical (edited.)
DVD: Attached to "Be It Ever So Humble", "The People's Choice" & "Hair To A Fortune."
Color Episode title: "Two For The Money."
Lost Episode Title: "Two Men On A Horse."
Air Date: Sat. 10/7/67
"Two For The Money":
The episode opens up with the June Taylor Dancers singing and dancing to a song about a bar I believe. After that, the owner of Dennehy's Bar escorts them out. Ralph & Ed enter the bar with a lot of fanfare. They are singing and act look like they had one too many beers. Ralph orders a beer for him and Ed. The owner says its 3am. They try to sing: "3 O' Clock In The Morning," but the owner cuts them off by saying one more beer and that is it. Ed puts some money in the jukebox and they dance about. The owner is not pleased. So he unplugs the jukebox. Owner: "Do you want me to lose my license?" Ed: "Don't worry. We will drive you home." Ralph & Ed sit down. They sing: "Were poor little Raccoons." As they are singing, the wives come in all upset. Ralph sees Alice and stops singing. Alice: "All right Sonny and Cher." Ed: "So this is what you girls do when we are at a lodge meeting. You hang around bars." The wives were worried. Trixie: "Don't you ever think about us?" Ed: "All the time. Why do you think we always go from bar to bar?" Ralph says that he has a reason to celebrate. Ralph: "What is the most important thing that can ever happen to me?" Alice: "You were elected treasurer of that silly lodge of yours." Ralph is upset. Ralph: "Since I have now become a Treasurer, I can now hang two tails on my cap. Maybe this is only the beginning. Maybe someday, I can become a thirteen-tail man. Do you know what that means?" Alice: "It must be pretty important Ralph. A monkey only has one." Ralph is upset because Alice insulted the lodge. She apologizes and congratulates him. Ed was named Sergeant of Arms. He gives them the duties of that position and they are so bad. Trixie: "Who would want to win something like that?" Ed: "I didn't want to win." I think he also says that Ralph talked him into getting that position. Ed says that Ralph has $200 in his pocket. Alice is concerned that Ralph has been walking around with $200 in his pocket with all the holdups there have been. In six of them, Ralph was on the bus when the hold up took place. Only one of those times where the holdup took place on Ralph's bus, they took $45 and took the bus. Ralph: "I have been working at the bus company for 17 years and because I lose one bus and you won't forget it." Ralph notices that the money is gone. Oh boy! Ralph says he remembers the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler putting the money in Ralph's hand then Ralph remembers putting the money in his left hand to give him the Raccoon salute. Then after that, he put the money back into his right hand to give the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler the Raccoon handshake. He demonstrates it and the Raccoon handshake that is used is totally different then the time that Ralph & Ed did the handshake in "Something Fishy." (In that episode, I think they touched each other's elbows and wagged their Raccoon tails together.) Then, he remembers putting the money into his pocket and now it's gone. Ed says that since he's now Sergeant of Arms, he now must put Ralph under citizen's arrest for exposing their handshake in front of outsiders. Ha! Ralph says that he has to put that money into the bank tomorrow and give a Treasury's report two days from now. Alice says to tell them the truth. Ralph says that Alice is crazy and that in the 47 years of the Raccoons existence, no one has lost money. In the lost episode version, Ralph also says that the Raccoons have been in existence for 47 years. Ralph thinks that maybe someone will take the money and bring it to a police station and that way he will get it back. Ed asks Ralph is he found any money, would he return it to a police station. Ralph gives the impression that he won't. Ralph: "I'm dead." They all sing: "It All Comes Down To One Little Lie."
Ralph & Ed have lunch in Jerry's lunchroom, which is barley occupied. Ralph says that he will have to raise that $200 somehow. He already got $6 from hocking Alice's engagement ring. Ed says Ralph is welcome to all the money he has in his checking account which is nine cents. Ha! Ed suggests getting money from someone in Alice's family. Ralph says that no one but Alice in her family likes him. Ed then suggests Ralph to get money from his own family. Ralph says that even his whole family hates him too because they are jealous of how good he's doing. Wow! That doesn't say a lot. Ralph calls Harry Jordan. When he introduces him as the person who introduced him to Harry's current wife, he hangs up. Ralph still has no money. Ed suggests that Ralph write down a list of people who he can get money from and write down how much they can give to him. Ralph starts making a list. As Ralph is doing this, Ed spots a guy using an old-fashioned pinball machine (these were the ones that unfortunately don't have the buttons where you can spring the ball back into the game if you know what I mean). Ed says that Ralph can double the $6 that Ralph got for hocking Alice's wedding ring and make it $12. Ed says that Ralph is the greatest pinball player in New York and is surprised he hasn't made it his professional occupation. Something about that last sentence does not seem right to me. Ed says that after the guy loses, he will get sore and continue to make bets with Ralph and sooner or later, Ralph will get his $200. Ralph thinks that that is a great idea. Ralph makes a bet with the guy that whoever gets the highest score with three balls, wins $6. Ralph plays the first ball and as the ball is going up and down in the machine, Ralph does some funny dance movements. After 3 balls, Ed is sure that Ralph's score will go in the Pinball Hall of Fame. Sure it will. The other guy plays and scores a bigger score than Ralph did on his three balls combined on his first ball. Horns are blaring from inside the pinball machine, a smoke cloud emanates from the machine and American flags pop up as the machine plays some American music. Wow! The guy says should he shoot another one. They say no and the guy wins $8 and some points. Question: Why didn't Ralph and Ed say yes? This way if he got a tilt in the game, he would lose. Ralph has now lost. Ed: "Boy, you let me down." The phone rings. As Ed picks it up, the ring is still heard. It's for Jerry. It's a person who has a hot tip on Happy Feet at a race. The odds are 20-1 that Happy Feet will win. Jerry now closes his restaurant for what he claims is the last time since now he thinks he is going to be rich. Sure, he will. That gives Ralph an idea. He will get the money to go to the track by getting an advance on his salary and he will get someone to cover for him. Ralph and Ed will go to the track and bet on Happy Feet and if he wins, Ralph wins $200 and if the odds go up even further, he will get the extra money to get back Alice's ring. Ralph: "There are some things in life that are sacred Norton." Ralph leaves. Ed leaves, but not before deciding to play with the pinball machine which somehow causes it to go on fire. How could that happen? Another question: Why does Ed have to go with Ralph?
At the race, Ralph and Ed notice that the odds for Happy Feet are still 20-1. Ralph says he will not place his bet until the last minute. If the odds get lower, the prize for him will get lower too. The announcer (probably Johnny Olsen) says: "AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE NEXT RACE, YOU ATTENTION IS DIRECTED TO THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WHERE A WREATH WILL BE PLACED ON THE WINNING HORSE BY SAMMY SPEAR." Ralph says that he doesn't know what program Sammy Spear is on. Ralph: "I think he's on the Doodle Tom Pipers." Ralph says that Happy Feet won $123,000 last year. The odds do get lower, so Ralph and Ed scheme to get the odds in their favor. Ralph sees another man and finds out that he is betting on some other horse. Ed sees an elderly woman and finds out that she is using her last $2 on Happy Feet and persuades her to vote for Ding-Dong. Ralph sees this and despite his plan to convince everybody to vote for different horses other than Happy, he tells the lady that she can vote for Happy Feet because he knows that Happy will win. The lady is happy. She goes and tells her husband (the person Ralph bumped into) to put $1000 clams on Happy Feet. Ralph is upset. He then bumps into a guy with sunglasses (played by George Petrie) and tells him not to vote for Happy Feet because Happy will be lucky if she emerges from the starting gate. Ed: "This man is the one and only, Highalea Fats (sp?)." An inside joke to Jackie's character in a 60s film "The Hustler." Ralph: "Happy is the worst horse. I saw them take the bandages off the horse." Ed: "Yeah, Happy had a bad headache." Ha! Man: "If he had bandages on his legs, why didn't he stretch them?" Ed: "Happy didn't have to do that. They put Olive Oil on his legs before they put the bandages on." They split up. Ed says that Happy doesn't stand the chance. Man: "I heard that he is in terrific shape." Ed: "Happy can't win because I am the owner. I raised that horse ever since he was a pup. We are just giving him a workout with him." Ed tells the man to vote for Ding Dong. The man leaves."
Later on, Ralph tells another man to vote for Ding Dong. Ralph runs into the same man that Ed bumped into. He doesn't know that Ed bumped into the man. The man tells Ralph, Happy Feet won't win because his owner just told him the horse is in the race only for a workout. Ralph bets Ding Dong instead, and then finds out Happy Feet's "owner" is Norton. Oh, Ralph isn't going to like that. The race starts. Everyone (including the man played by George Petrie) gathers around the fence to watch the race and some are moving and shaking. Some people are singing: "They Are Off And Running." The singing also is a play-by-play of the race. Watching Ed happily cheer on Happy Feet while Ralph is sad is funny. During this, Ralph rips up his ticket in despair. But Ding Dong comes back and wins. Ralph is upset since he tore up the ticket and now can't win any money.
In the Kramden apartment, Ralph is getting ready to go to the Raccoon Lodge meeting but he is still scared about how he is going to say how he lost the money. Alice talked him to three hours to convince him to go the Raccoon meeting and tell them the truth or he would never be able to look at himself in the mirror. A mirror breaks. Ralph comes out. Ralph: "I am staying home. I broke our mirror." Ralph says that he isn't afraid about telling them the truth, but he is afraid of getting killed by his fellow members. Ed comes down to pick up Ralph. Ed says that the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler has arrived here on his horse and wagon. The G.H.E.M.R. came by to pick both of them up. Ed says that during the meeting, after everyone found out that Ralph lost the money, he will have to kick Ralph out and then pick up the tar and feathers. The G.H.E.M.R. arrives and they all give them the Raccoon salute. Ralph starts to tell him the truth about the money but as he does, he asks him about the secret handshake that they do when they meet. The G.H.E.M.R. tells the wives to turn their backs. As they do the secret handshake that requires them to touch each other's jacket. Ralph finds out that he accidentally put the money into the G.H.E.M.R.'s jacket. He lies to everyone that he knowingly put it there because he didn't want to lose it. The G.H.E.M.R. didn't mind and then goes downstairs. Ralph says that he is the biggest liar and the luckiest man in the world.
The edited curtain call starts with Jackie introducing Shelia and Art. Jackie then says goodnight to everyone.
Episode #194 (Syndicated episode #23)
TV: One hour (edited.)
DVD: Attached to "Out of Sight, Out of Mind", "Two Faces of Ralph Kramden" & "The Main Event."
Color Episode Title: "Nephew of The Bride."
Lost Episode Title: "Goodbye Aunt Ethel."
Air Date: Sat. 10/21/67
"Nephew of The Bride":
It is raining in Brooklyn. Inside the basement of the Chauncey Street building, the June Taylor Dancers are all dressed, playing and acting like little kids. They all sing: “In The Basement On A Rainy Day.” After that, they leave. Ed accompanies Trixie to the basement of the Chauncey Street building. We finally get to see what the basement looked like (the part that didn't have those big pipes in which Ralph got stuck between in "Dial J For Janitor.") Ed is carrying a mannequin for Trixie. Ed says that Trixie used to be the same size as the mannequin. Trixie says that she still is. Trixie got his as a wedding present. She was lucky. She got two dummies in the same day. Ha! Ed: "Are you insinuating that I am the other dummy?" Trixie: "Yes dear." Ed: "Good because I wanted to make sure you weren't fooling around with another guy." Ed is about to take the thing upstairs when Alice comes down. Alice says for Ralph's two week vacation, they are staying home. They can't afford to go anywhere for two weeks. They will have to make day trips. Ed says that isn't bad. They did day trips for their honeymoon. Ralph comes home with great news. Ralph: "I'm going to make you the world's happiest woman." Ed: "You are going to have a baby." He just booked a vacation for him and Alice. They are going by bus to Miami Beach. Alice says that they can't afford it since those luxury hotels charge $4 to $5 a day. The audience even laughs with that line. I find it funny too considering the high prices that hotels charge today. Ralph says that they will spend the vacation with Alice's Uncle Charlie & Aunt Mabel considering that they have a spare room. Alice is even happier. The girls leave. Ralph reveals that he used his brain to get the vacation. That spare room is normally used by Alice's Aunt Ethel (the world's worst pain in the neck according to Ralph.) So he called Alice's family members down there before Aunt Ethel did. According to Ralph, she never married. Ralph & Ed sing: "Of All The Woman I Fear, Aunt Ethel Is The Worst of Them All." Alice comes down. She asks Ed to leave. He does. Alice is upset. She found out what Ralph did. Uncle Charlie liked what Ralph did for him so much that he rented the room for the whole season. (In other words, he hated Ralph so much for doing what he did; he is punishing him & Alice by not even allowing them to come down.) Because of that, Aunt Ethel is staying with them. D'oh! Definitely not something that Ralph wants to hear.
The next scene opens with Alice coming into the kitchen. Ralph is sleeping in the kitchen on a cot. Ralph is very angry that Alice's Aunt Ethel is staying over. Alice is making a lot of noise cooking breakfast. Aunt Ethel screams for the morning paper. The kettle is blowing steam and that upsets Ralph. Aunt Ethel comes out and the crowd applauds. Alice's Aunt Ethel asks for some orange juice. Ethel: "Maybe Ralph can get some from the store when he wakes up." Ralph: "Why don't you get a job as a lemon picker in Orlando?" Ralph orders Alice to order Ethel out. Ralph: "Tell Dracula's daughter to go back to Transylvania" Ralph says that she has been here for two and a half weeks. Alice reminds that because of Ralph's deed, Ethel could have been in Miami Beach. Ralph: "keep it up and the two of you will be on the moon." Alice (in a very childish and/or mocking voice): "You are such a strong man. Are you going to send both of us to the moon?" Ralph: "Ethel won't go there unless she has a relative to visit." Alice goes to Trixie's to get some orange juice for Ethel. Ralph tries to go back to sleep. Ethel asks for Alice. Ralph: "She went to get your citrus" Ethel asks for some milk. Ralph: "Maybe Alice hid it in the ice box." The milk is revealed to be on the fire escape. Ethel tries to get the milk that is on the fire escape. He offers to get the milk. Ralph tries to get the milk, but the window is stuck. He says if he lifts up the window any higher, he will lift the building off the ground. Ha! He tries to get the milk, but accidentally knocks the milk off the escape. Ralph says that Aunt Ethel should go down there and catch the milk before the cats get it. Ethel says that now she will have to drink her coffee black and that makes her get nervous. She gets the shingles. Ralph: "If you get the shingles, build yourself a house." Ethel goes into the bedroom to finish reading the paper. Ethel: "I am working on my horoscope. I'm a moon child." Ralph: "She will see her mother before she knows it." Ralph devises a plan to get rid of her. He will fake a back injury. Aunt Ethel comes in and hears the fact that Ralph has back pain. Ethel says that she will make the sacrifice She gives Ralph a back brace. Ralph is so upset.
The next scene opens with a bunch of kids playing in the street. They see Ralph and leave. Ralph meets up with Ed to talk about how he can get rid of Aunt Ethel, on the way to get Aunt Ethel some ice cream. Ed comes up with a plan to throw her out. Ed: "Why don't you yell out the window in the middle of the night: 'Fire!'" Ralph: "Suppose other people hear it. They will think that it's a real fire." Ed: "Then you yell: 'Fire, Aunt Ethel.'" Ralph thinks that Ed is crazy. Ed talks about how a woman who came to his house before he met Ralph. She gets married to his uncle. Ralph hatches a scheme, he will get her married. But who? Ralph says that her favorite romantic movie idol is Terry Savalas. Ed says that that description fits everybody in the neighborhood including some of the girls. Ed thinks of some men but they are either too young or too old. Ed: "How old is Aunt Ethel?" Ralph: "About 112." Ed: "Timmy is definitely too young. He's 14." Ralph is upset at Ed. Ed: "I happen to know that Timmy wants to get married. He hates math." Ralph says that now he wants to get away from Ed. Ed got just the guy: Krausmeyer the butcher. Ralph agrees. Ralph says that he Freitag's Meat Market is chosen as the pigeon and invited over for dinner. The plan is set. Ralph & Ed sing: "The Joys of Marriage." Ralph goes out to get the ice cream for Aunt Ethel.
Everyone at home gets informed of the date. Aunt Ethel gets ready. Ralph and Ed come in with a love seat Ralph is going all out to make sure the evening is a success. He sprays the room with perfume. They also brought in a love seat. He also borrowed a record player. Herman Krausmeyer, the butcher comes by with Chicken Livers. The crowd applauds. He says that single life is murder. He says he has to go to wonderful places alone. Ralph wonders why he stayed single. Ed after hearing all the places that Krausmeyer goes to over the week wonders why he and Ralph got married. Aunt Ethel meets Krausmeyer. It is revealed that Herman gets his sausages from the Steinhardt Packing Company and Ethel used to work there stuffing sausages. Herman: "I probably got one of your sausages." They all sit down. One problem. Ed sits in the love seat with Ethel. Ralph tries to kick him out of the seat. Ed leaves. Ralph says that they should play some games with Ralph and Alice being partners and the other two being partners. The game is called: "The Apple Game." The Krausmeyer/Ethel team goes first. The game? Ethel hides an apple behind her back and if Krausmeyer doesn't get the apple in 10 seconds, she gives him a kiss. The same thing presumably goes the same for Ralph and Alice and if the person gets the apple, they eat it. Gee, doesn't it sound like Ralph is making the rules up as he goes? And doesn't it seem that he really wants Ethel and Krausmeyer to be a couple? Yes. When Krausmeyer tries to get the apple, he tells Ethel to look behind her. She does by turning her whole body. He gets the apple and Ralph sees it as cheating. Yeah, he is making up the rules. Ralph plays the game with Ethel but doesn't get the apple. So he has to get kissed by Ethel. Ralph yells that the game is over. It is also revealed that Herman and Ethel hate Kabasi. Ralph: "You got a lot in common." Ralph and Alice go into the bedroom to sort out the laundry. Ralph needs a chair, so he gets it. He is hoping that the two share a love seat. Herman tries to talk to Ethel. Ralph comes back with two more chairs. He turns on the record player. Herman sits on the love seat with Ethel. Herman: "are you planning to go back to Dayton (her home town) real soon?" Ethel: "Maybe next spring unless something big happened." Ralph would certainly LOVE it if he had to put up with Ethel until the spring. They go out to get an ice cream soda. They try to inform the Kramdens and when they open the door, Ralph runs out and asks them to go right ahead. Basically, he indicated that he heard the whole thing.
A month later, Aunt Ethel and Krausmeyer are still going out and Ethel is still staying with Alice and Ralph. Some short visit, huh? Alice is getting worried. It is 2am and she isn't home yet. Ralph: "She better get home if she wants to wake me up at 6am." Alice is worried that Krausmeyer tried to get fresh with her. Ralph says that she shouldn't be worried. Aunt Ethel comes home and says that she and Krausmeyer are married. Ralph is ecstatic Ralph: "I will kiss the bride, the groom and the truck." Ralph gets her things out. Not so fast. Krausmeyer lives at the local YMCA (apparently they don't allow couples to live there and/or his place there is too small), so she asks Alice if they can stay until they find a place. Alice doesn't say a word. Ralph leaves to go to the YMCA.
During the curtain call, Jackie just says "Goodnight!" According to the old honeymooners.net site, Alice's Aunt Ethel was played by Doro Merande and Herman was played by David Burns.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #193 (Syndicated episode #22)
TV: Hour-long musical (edited.)
DVD: Attached to "Be It Ever So Humble", "The People's Choice" & "Hair To A Fortune."
Color Episode title: "Two For The Money."
Lost Episode Title: "Two Men On A Horse."
Air Date: Sat. 10/7/67
"Two For The Money":
The episode opens up with the June Taylor Dancers singing and dancing to a song about a bar I believe. After that, the owner of Dennehy's Bar escorts them out. Ralph & Ed enter the bar with a lot of fanfare. They are singing and act look like they had one too many beers. Ralph orders a beer for him and Ed. The owner says its 3am. They try to sing: "3 O' Clock In The Morning," but the owner cuts them off by saying one more beer and that is it. Ed puts some money in the jukebox and they dance about. The owner is not pleased. So he unplugs the jukebox. Owner: "Do you want me to lose my license?" Ed: "Don't worry. We will drive you home." Ralph & Ed sit down. They sing: "Were poor little Raccoons." As they are singing, the wives come in all upset. Ralph sees Alice and stops singing. Alice: "All right Sonny and Cher." Ed: "So this is what you girls do when we are at a lodge meeting. You hang around bars." The wives were worried. Trixie: "Don't you ever think about us?" Ed: "All the time. Why do you think we always go from bar to bar?" Ralph says that he has a reason to celebrate. Ralph: "What is the most important thing that can ever happen to me?" Alice: "You were elected treasurer of that silly lodge of yours." Ralph is upset. Ralph: "Since I have now become a Treasurer, I can now hang two tails on my cap. Maybe this is only the beginning. Maybe someday, I can become a thirteen-tail man. Do you know what that means?" Alice: "It must be pretty important Ralph. A monkey only has one." Ralph is upset because Alice insulted the lodge. She apologizes and congratulates him. Ed was named Sergeant of Arms. He gives them the duties of that position and they are so bad. Trixie: "Who would want to win something like that?" Ed: "I didn't want to win." I think he also says that Ralph talked him into getting that position. Ed says that Ralph has $200 in his pocket. Alice is concerned that Ralph has been walking around with $200 in his pocket with all the holdups there have been. In six of them, Ralph was on the bus when the hold up took place. Only one of those times where the holdup took place on Ralph's bus, they took $45 and took the bus. Ralph: "I have been working at the bus company for 17 years and because I lose one bus and you won't forget it." Ralph notices that the money is gone. Oh boy! Ralph says he remembers the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler putting the money in Ralph's hand then Ralph remembers putting the money in his left hand to give him the Raccoon salute. Then after that, he put the money back into his right hand to give the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler the Raccoon handshake. He demonstrates it and the Raccoon handshake that is used is totally different then the time that Ralph & Ed did the handshake in "Something Fishy." (In that episode, I think they touched each other's elbows and wagged their Raccoon tails together.) Then, he remembers putting the money into his pocket and now it's gone. Ed says that since he's now Sergeant of Arms, he now must put Ralph under citizen's arrest for exposing their handshake in front of outsiders. Ha! Ralph says that he has to put that money into the bank tomorrow and give a Treasury's report two days from now. Alice says to tell them the truth. Ralph says that Alice is crazy and that in the 47 years of the Raccoons existence, no one has lost money. In the lost episode version, Ralph also says that the Raccoons have been in existence for 47 years. Ralph thinks that maybe someone will take the money and bring it to a police station and that way he will get it back. Ed asks Ralph is he found any money, would he return it to a police station. Ralph gives the impression that he won't. Ralph: "I'm dead." They all sing: "It All Comes Down To One Little Lie."
Ralph & Ed have lunch in Jerry's lunchroom, which is barley occupied. Ralph says that he will have to raise that $200 somehow. He already got $6 from hocking Alice's engagement ring. Ed says Ralph is welcome to all the money he has in his checking account which is nine cents. Ha! Ed suggests getting money from someone in Alice's family. Ralph says that no one but Alice in her family likes him. Ed then suggests Ralph to get money from his own family. Ralph says that even his whole family hates him too because they are jealous of how good he's doing. Wow! That doesn't say a lot. Ralph calls Harry Jordan. When he introduces him as the person who introduced him to Harry's current wife, he hangs up. Ralph still has no money. Ed suggests that Ralph write down a list of people who he can get money from and write down how much they can give to him. Ralph starts making a list. As Ralph is doing this, Ed spots a guy using an old-fashioned pinball machine (these were the ones that unfortunately don't have the buttons where you can spring the ball back into the game if you know what I mean). Ed says that Ralph can double the $6 that Ralph got for hocking Alice's wedding ring and make it $12. Ed says that Ralph is the greatest pinball player in New York and is surprised he hasn't made it his professional occupation. Something about that last sentence does not seem right to me. Ed says that after the guy loses, he will get sore and continue to make bets with Ralph and sooner or later, Ralph will get his $200. Ralph thinks that that is a great idea. Ralph makes a bet with the guy that whoever gets the highest score with three balls, wins $6. Ralph plays the first ball and as the ball is going up and down in the machine, Ralph does some funny dance movements. After 3 balls, Ed is sure that Ralph's score will go in the Pinball Hall of Fame. Sure it will. The other guy plays and scores a bigger score than Ralph did on his three balls combined on his first ball. Horns are blaring from inside the pinball machine, a smoke cloud emanates from the machine and American flags pop up as the machine plays some American music. Wow! The guy says should he shoot another one. They say no and the guy wins $8 and some points. Question: Why didn't Ralph and Ed say yes? This way if he got a tilt in the game, he would lose. Ralph has now lost. Ed: "Boy, you let me down." The phone rings. As Ed picks it up, the ring is still heard. It's for Jerry. It's a person who has a hot tip on Happy Feet at a race. The odds are 20-1 that Happy Feet will win. Jerry now closes his restaurant for what he claims is the last time since now he thinks he is going to be rich. Sure, he will. That gives Ralph an idea. He will get the money to go to the track by getting an advance on his salary and he will get someone to cover for him. Ralph and Ed will go to the track and bet on Happy Feet and if he wins, Ralph wins $200 and if the odds go up even further, he will get the extra money to get back Alice's ring. Ralph: "There are some things in life that are sacred Norton." Ralph leaves. Ed leaves, but not before deciding to play with the pinball machine which somehow causes it to go on fire. How could that happen? Another question: Why does Ed have to go with Ralph?
At the race, Ralph and Ed notice that the odds for Happy Feet are still 20-1. Ralph says he will not place his bet until the last minute. If the odds get lower, the prize for him will get lower too. The announcer (probably Johnny Olsen) says: "AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE NEXT RACE, YOU ATTENTION IS DIRECTED TO THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WHERE A WREATH WILL BE PLACED ON THE WINNING HORSE BY SAMMY SPEAR." Ralph says that he doesn't know what program Sammy Spear is on. Ralph: "I think he's on the Doodle Tom Pipers." Ralph says that Happy Feet won $123,000 last year. The odds do get lower, so Ralph and Ed scheme to get the odds in their favor. Ralph sees another man and finds out that he is betting on some other horse. Ed sees an elderly woman and finds out that she is using her last $2 on Happy Feet and persuades her to vote for Ding-Dong. Ralph sees this and despite his plan to convince everybody to vote for different horses other than Happy, he tells the lady that she can vote for Happy Feet because he knows that Happy will win. The lady is happy. She goes and tells her husband (the person Ralph bumped into) to put $1000 clams on Happy Feet. Ralph is upset. He then bumps into a guy with sunglasses (played by George Petrie) and tells him not to vote for Happy Feet because Happy will be lucky if she emerges from the starting gate. Ed: "This man is the one and only, Highalea Fats (sp?)." An inside joke to Jackie's character in a 60s film "The Hustler." Ralph: "Happy is the worst horse. I saw them take the bandages off the horse." Ed: "Yeah, Happy had a bad headache." Ha! Man: "If he had bandages on his legs, why didn't he stretch them?" Ed: "Happy didn't have to do that. They put Olive Oil on his legs before they put the bandages on." They split up. Ed says that Happy doesn't stand the chance. Man: "I heard that he is in terrific shape." Ed: "Happy can't win because I am the owner. I raised that horse ever since he was a pup. We are just giving him a workout with him." Ed tells the man to vote for Ding Dong. The man leaves."
Later on, Ralph tells another man to vote for Ding Dong. Ralph runs into the same man that Ed bumped into. He doesn't know that Ed bumped into the man. The man tells Ralph, Happy Feet won't win because his owner just told him the horse is in the race only for a workout. Ralph bets Ding Dong instead, and then finds out Happy Feet's "owner" is Norton. Oh, Ralph isn't going to like that. The race starts. Everyone (including the man played by George Petrie) gathers around the fence to watch the race and some are moving and shaking. Some people are singing: "They Are Off And Running." The singing also is a play-by-play of the race. Watching Ed happily cheer on Happy Feet while Ralph is sad is funny. During this, Ralph rips up his ticket in despair. But Ding Dong comes back and wins. Ralph is upset since he tore up the ticket and now can't win any money.
In the Kramden apartment, Ralph is getting ready to go to the Raccoon Lodge meeting but he is still scared about how he is going to say how he lost the money. Alice talked him to three hours to convince him to go the Raccoon meeting and tell them the truth or he would never be able to look at himself in the mirror. A mirror breaks. Ralph comes out. Ralph: "I am staying home. I broke our mirror." Ralph says that he isn't afraid about telling them the truth, but he is afraid of getting killed by his fellow members. Ed comes down to pick up Ralph. Ed says that the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler has arrived here on his horse and wagon. The G.H.E.M.R. came by to pick both of them up. Ed says that during the meeting, after everyone found out that Ralph lost the money, he will have to kick Ralph out and then pick up the tar and feathers. The G.H.E.M.R. arrives and they all give them the Raccoon salute. Ralph starts to tell him the truth about the money but as he does, he asks him about the secret handshake that they do when they meet. The G.H.E.M.R. tells the wives to turn their backs. As they do the secret handshake that requires them to touch each other's jacket. Ralph finds out that he accidentally put the money into the G.H.E.M.R.'s jacket. He lies to everyone that he knowingly put it there because he didn't want to lose it. The G.H.E.M.R. didn't mind and then goes downstairs. Ralph says that he is the biggest liar and the luckiest man in the world.
The edited curtain call starts with Jackie introducing Shelia and Art. Jackie then says goodnight to everyone.
Episode #194 (Syndicated episode #23)
TV: One hour (edited.)
DVD: Attached to "Out of Sight, Out of Mind", "Two Faces of Ralph Kramden" & "The Main Event."
Color Episode Title: "Nephew of The Bride."
Lost Episode Title: "Goodbye Aunt Ethel."
Air Date: Sat. 10/21/67
"Nephew of The Bride":
It is raining in Brooklyn. Inside the basement of the Chauncey Street building, the June Taylor Dancers are all dressed, playing and acting like little kids. They all sing: “In The Basement On A Rainy Day.” After that, they leave. Ed accompanies Trixie to the basement of the Chauncey Street building. We finally get to see what the basement looked like (the part that didn't have those big pipes in which Ralph got stuck between in "Dial J For Janitor.") Ed is carrying a mannequin for Trixie. Ed says that Trixie used to be the same size as the mannequin. Trixie says that she still is. Trixie got his as a wedding present. She was lucky. She got two dummies in the same day. Ha! Ed: "Are you insinuating that I am the other dummy?" Trixie: "Yes dear." Ed: "Good because I wanted to make sure you weren't fooling around with another guy." Ed is about to take the thing upstairs when Alice comes down. Alice says for Ralph's two week vacation, they are staying home. They can't afford to go anywhere for two weeks. They will have to make day trips. Ed says that isn't bad. They did day trips for their honeymoon. Ralph comes home with great news. Ralph: "I'm going to make you the world's happiest woman." Ed: "You are going to have a baby." He just booked a vacation for him and Alice. They are going by bus to Miami Beach. Alice says that they can't afford it since those luxury hotels charge $4 to $5 a day. The audience even laughs with that line. I find it funny too considering the high prices that hotels charge today. Ralph says that they will spend the vacation with Alice's Uncle Charlie & Aunt Mabel considering that they have a spare room. Alice is even happier. The girls leave. Ralph reveals that he used his brain to get the vacation. That spare room is normally used by Alice's Aunt Ethel (the world's worst pain in the neck according to Ralph.) So he called Alice's family members down there before Aunt Ethel did. According to Ralph, she never married. Ralph & Ed sing: "Of All The Woman I Fear, Aunt Ethel Is The Worst of Them All." Alice comes down. She asks Ed to leave. He does. Alice is upset. She found out what Ralph did. Uncle Charlie liked what Ralph did for him so much that he rented the room for the whole season. (In other words, he hated Ralph so much for doing what he did; he is punishing him & Alice by not even allowing them to come down.) Because of that, Aunt Ethel is staying with them. D'oh! Definitely not something that Ralph wants to hear.
The next scene opens with Alice coming into the kitchen. Ralph is sleeping in the kitchen on a cot. Ralph is very angry that Alice's Aunt Ethel is staying over. Alice is making a lot of noise cooking breakfast. Aunt Ethel screams for the morning paper. The kettle is blowing steam and that upsets Ralph. Aunt Ethel comes out and the crowd applauds. Alice's Aunt Ethel asks for some orange juice. Ethel: "Maybe Ralph can get some from the store when he wakes up." Ralph: "Why don't you get a job as a lemon picker in Orlando?" Ralph orders Alice to order Ethel out. Ralph: "Tell Dracula's daughter to go back to Transylvania" Ralph says that she has been here for two and a half weeks. Alice reminds that because of Ralph's deed, Ethel could have been in Miami Beach. Ralph: "keep it up and the two of you will be on the moon." Alice (in a very childish and/or mocking voice): "You are such a strong man. Are you going to send both of us to the moon?" Ralph: "Ethel won't go there unless she has a relative to visit." Alice goes to Trixie's to get some orange juice for Ethel. Ralph tries to go back to sleep. Ethel asks for Alice. Ralph: "She went to get your citrus" Ethel asks for some milk. Ralph: "Maybe Alice hid it in the ice box." The milk is revealed to be on the fire escape. Ethel tries to get the milk that is on the fire escape. He offers to get the milk. Ralph tries to get the milk, but the window is stuck. He says if he lifts up the window any higher, he will lift the building off the ground. Ha! He tries to get the milk, but accidentally knocks the milk off the escape. Ralph says that Aunt Ethel should go down there and catch the milk before the cats get it. Ethel says that now she will have to drink her coffee black and that makes her get nervous. She gets the shingles. Ralph: "If you get the shingles, build yourself a house." Ethel goes into the bedroom to finish reading the paper. Ethel: "I am working on my horoscope. I'm a moon child." Ralph: "She will see her mother before she knows it." Ralph devises a plan to get rid of her. He will fake a back injury. Aunt Ethel comes in and hears the fact that Ralph has back pain. Ethel says that she will make the sacrifice She gives Ralph a back brace. Ralph is so upset.
The next scene opens with a bunch of kids playing in the street. They see Ralph and leave. Ralph meets up with Ed to talk about how he can get rid of Aunt Ethel, on the way to get Aunt Ethel some ice cream. Ed comes up with a plan to throw her out. Ed: "Why don't you yell out the window in the middle of the night: 'Fire!'" Ralph: "Suppose other people hear it. They will think that it's a real fire." Ed: "Then you yell: 'Fire, Aunt Ethel.'" Ralph thinks that Ed is crazy. Ed talks about how a woman who came to his house before he met Ralph. She gets married to his uncle. Ralph hatches a scheme, he will get her married. But who? Ralph says that her favorite romantic movie idol is Terry Savalas. Ed says that that description fits everybody in the neighborhood including some of the girls. Ed thinks of some men but they are either too young or too old. Ed: "How old is Aunt Ethel?" Ralph: "About 112." Ed: "Timmy is definitely too young. He's 14." Ralph is upset at Ed. Ed: "I happen to know that Timmy wants to get married. He hates math." Ralph says that now he wants to get away from Ed. Ed got just the guy: Krausmeyer the butcher. Ralph agrees. Ralph says that he Freitag's Meat Market is chosen as the pigeon and invited over for dinner. The plan is set. Ralph & Ed sing: "The Joys of Marriage." Ralph goes out to get the ice cream for Aunt Ethel.
Everyone at home gets informed of the date. Aunt Ethel gets ready. Ralph and Ed come in with a love seat Ralph is going all out to make sure the evening is a success. He sprays the room with perfume. They also brought in a love seat. He also borrowed a record player. Herman Krausmeyer, the butcher comes by with Chicken Livers. The crowd applauds. He says that single life is murder. He says he has to go to wonderful places alone. Ralph wonders why he stayed single. Ed after hearing all the places that Krausmeyer goes to over the week wonders why he and Ralph got married. Aunt Ethel meets Krausmeyer. It is revealed that Herman gets his sausages from the Steinhardt Packing Company and Ethel used to work there stuffing sausages. Herman: "I probably got one of your sausages." They all sit down. One problem. Ed sits in the love seat with Ethel. Ralph tries to kick him out of the seat. Ed leaves. Ralph says that they should play some games with Ralph and Alice being partners and the other two being partners. The game is called: "The Apple Game." The Krausmeyer/Ethel team goes first. The game? Ethel hides an apple behind her back and if Krausmeyer doesn't get the apple in 10 seconds, she gives him a kiss. The same thing presumably goes the same for Ralph and Alice and if the person gets the apple, they eat it. Gee, doesn't it sound like Ralph is making the rules up as he goes? And doesn't it seem that he really wants Ethel and Krausmeyer to be a couple? Yes. When Krausmeyer tries to get the apple, he tells Ethel to look behind her. She does by turning her whole body. He gets the apple and Ralph sees it as cheating. Yeah, he is making up the rules. Ralph plays the game with Ethel but doesn't get the apple. So he has to get kissed by Ethel. Ralph yells that the game is over. It is also revealed that Herman and Ethel hate Kabasi. Ralph: "You got a lot in common." Ralph and Alice go into the bedroom to sort out the laundry. Ralph needs a chair, so he gets it. He is hoping that the two share a love seat. Herman tries to talk to Ethel. Ralph comes back with two more chairs. He turns on the record player. Herman sits on the love seat with Ethel. Herman: "are you planning to go back to Dayton (her home town) real soon?" Ethel: "Maybe next spring unless something big happened." Ralph would certainly LOVE it if he had to put up with Ethel until the spring. They go out to get an ice cream soda. They try to inform the Kramdens and when they open the door, Ralph runs out and asks them to go right ahead. Basically, he indicated that he heard the whole thing.
A month later, Aunt Ethel and Krausmeyer are still going out and Ethel is still staying with Alice and Ralph. Some short visit, huh? Alice is getting worried. It is 2am and she isn't home yet. Ralph: "She better get home if she wants to wake me up at 6am." Alice is worried that Krausmeyer tried to get fresh with her. Ralph says that she shouldn't be worried. Aunt Ethel comes home and says that she and Krausmeyer are married. Ralph is ecstatic Ralph: "I will kiss the bride, the groom and the truck." Ralph gets her things out. Not so fast. Krausmeyer lives at the local YMCA (apparently they don't allow couples to live there and/or his place there is too small), so she asks Alice if they can stay until they find a place. Alice doesn't say a word. Ralph leaves to go to the YMCA.
During the curtain call, Jackie just says "Goodnight!" According to the old honeymooners.net site, Alice's Aunt Ethel was played by Doro Merande and Herman was played by David Burns.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.