Frank Gannucci
10-02-2020, 07:47 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews "Hair To A Fortune" & "The People's Choice" (Color version):
Episode #191 (Syndicated episode #20)
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to "Be It Ever So Humble" & "People's Choice."
Color Honeymooners Title: "Hair To A Fortune."
Lost Episode Title: "Hair-Raising Tale."
Air Date: Sat. 9/16/67
"Hair To A Fortune":
The June Taylor Dancers come out. They sing and dance to a song about being in the park, I believe. After that, they leave. Two con men pull a scam on Ralph as he sits in the park eating his lunch. You can easily tell that the background is completely fake. One poses as the inventor of a miracle hair restorer and the other as an unscrupulous businessman trying to buy the formula. The second man "gets rough" with the smaller one and Ralph intervenes and chases off the larger man. "Prof. Steinhardt" talks to Ralph about his discovery: a hair-restoring formula. "Prof. Steinhardt": "That guy knew me when I was bald." "Prof. Steinhardt": "If I had $500 to go into business, I could make millions. Where am I going to get the $500?" He then says he can get it from Carl and because of that, he could get his share of the revenue. Ralph: "Are you sure that this formula works?" "Prof. Steinhardt": "What do you think my hair is, feathers?" Ralph then says if he gave him the money, would he get the New York revenue. "Prof. Steinhardt" is happy to oblige. Ralph gives him the address. He asks for "Prof. Steinhardt"'s picture of when he was bald. Ralph leaves. It's like if I was Ralph Kramden, I would ask for a contract or something. The con men are happy.
At home, Ralph tries to get the money for the scheme but Alice will not allow him to have the money. Ralph says that he will leave and when he gets the money, Alice is not going to get a cent. Alice thinks that the idea is crazy Alice also says that this idea is going to be another one of his bad get-rich-quick schemes. Ralph says that every bald-headed man in the world will buy it because they are rich and they use their brains. Ralph: "It's a medical fact. The more brains you use, the less hair you have." Alice takes a look at Ralph's head and bases her next response on what Ralph just said. Her response? Alice: "I rest my case." Alice says that Ralph is a born sucker. Ralph disagrees. They both sing: "Stubborn" (I think that that is the title.) Alice says no again to Ralph's plan and goes to bed. Ed Norton comes down. Ralph has kept the whole building awake by telling Alice about his plan. Everyone knows about the plan. Ralph figures he can get three hundred dollars from his life-insurance policy (which consists of only $300), and invites Norton to become his partner for a two-hundred-dollar investment. Ed tells about all the times that Ralph has roped him into get-rich-quick schemes that did nothing for Ed nor Ralph. Ralph says that this idea will work. Ralph shows a picture of "Prof. Steinhardt" when he was bald and says that now he has a lot of hair. Ed says: "$200 is a lot of money to me." Ralph: "Well, I never thought that money would come ahead of our friendship." Gee, imagine if you say to your pal: "All I want is $200." Ralph talks about some of the "good things" he did for Ed. After that Ed complies.
The first day, "Prof. Steinhardt" comes in and Ed says that with that hair, he could be Phyllis Diller's stand-in. I think Youtoo America cut out the first few minutes of this scene. The "professor" gives the ingredients and Ralph gives him the $500. The "professor" wishes them luck. Ralph thought up a name for the product which is called Grow Hair. The "professor" shows them the sample bottle of the formula and the instructions on how to make everything. The "professor" says that if there is anything they need to know, they can reach them in Chicago. He tries to leave. Ralph asks that if there is any papers that he needs to sign. The "professor" says no. He trusts Ralph. You can tell right there that this is a scam, but of course Ralph & Ed can't. Ed says that he didn't give him their address. Ralph goes to find him but all he sees on the street is a bald man. Do you think that that was the "professor"? They get a pan to mix the formulas. Ralph and Ed try to mix the ingredients in typical Ralph and Ed fashion. One of their mistakes is that Ralph calls the H2O bottle: "Ho." He says that you never pronounce the number in chemistry formulas. Ed pours the H2O in the bowl. Ralph: "Take it easy with that H20. What do you think it is, water?" Ralph also accidentally pours Ed's beer that he left on the table into the bowl that they are using for hair formula, thinking that that was one of the bottles that they were supposed to use. When he hears what he did, he calls Ed stupid. Ralph lines up the bottles and Ed calls them out when they are ready to be poured in. They end up mispronouncing every name on the bottle. Mr. Mitchell, a half-bald man and Ralph's boss, arrives informing Ralph of a bus assignment. Ralph tells him of the formula that he and Ed made. Mr. Mitchell says that he has tried a lot of hair-restoring formulas but none of them has ever worked. Ralph lets him try theirs. They put a sheet around Mr. Mitchell's neck so his clothes won't get wet. They drop some of the sample formula on Mr. Mitchell's head and put a hot towel on Mr. Mitchell's head. Mr. Mitchell doesn't like the hotness of the towel but he takes it easy. Ralph & Ed sing: "A Head of Hair Makes A Man A Millionaire."
A while later, Ed asks Ralph if he can try this formula on a cousin of his. Ralph: "Sure." Ed: "She will really appreciate it." The towel is taken off and not only did it not grow hair but kills all of what Mr. Mitchell had. I think you can tell that that actor that played Mr. Mitchell is wearing something on his head to make him look bald. Question: How could that formula kill Mr. Mitchell's hair? Ralph smashes the mirror that Ed was holding (unbeknownst to Mr. Mitchell) and blames it on Ed. Ralph: "You look very young." Ed: "About eight days old." The girls come home and see Mr. Mitchell and they realize that h e is bald. Trixie (not knowing that Mr. Mitchell had hair) says to Ed: "You better test that formula before you try it out on Mr. Mitchell." She says something like that. Alice: "I think that Ralph & Ed did." Mr. Mitchell: "I used to have a problem with my hair." Trixie: "You certainly don't have one now." Mr. Mitchell finds out what has happened to his hair and says he will sue both Ralph and Ed and Ralph will lose his job. Question: Shouldn't Mr. Mitchell found out how much hair he has on his head by feeling how cold his scalp was? Alice and Trixie don't like what their husbands did and blame Mr. Mitchell's bald head on them. Ed: "Don't blame me. The formula is a good dandruff remover." Ed: "He can't sue us. All the money we have has been used up for the hair-restorer. Ralph doesn't understand how everything went wrong. Alice sarcastically doesn't understand and reviews the story of how Ralph found out about the formula and what Ralph did. The formula somehow also caused the bowl they were using to break. How did that happen? All of them sing: "I Told You So." during which the girls remind each of their husband’s terrible ideas and each of the husbands defend themselves. One of Ed's ideas was taking a hypnosis course and somehow ended up hypnotizing one of Trixie's family members to believe that he is a chicken that lays eggs. Oh gosh! That is grounds enough for divorce right there I think. Ed says that because of him laying eggs, he is making money.
The next day, Ralph and Ed try to do the same thing to a guy on the park bench what the two shady people did to Ralph. (Ralph even looks and acts like "Prof. Steinhardt" complete with fake foreign accent.) Only problem is of course is that that Ed is the bully and Ralph is the victim. Not very believable. Not only that, but the person on the park bench doesn't intervene. Ed leaves. Ralph tries to sell Grow Hair to the guy (played by George Petrie). But the guy talks to him about his invention he is trying to market, an electric zipper. Ralph forgets all about unloading Grow Hair and wonders how much money he can make selling zippers as everyone dances around them and people sing: "There Is Fun For All In Central Park."
At the curtain call, Jackie says "How Sweet It Is" and praises the Miami Beach audience He also introduces the regular cast members and says good night to everyone.
Episode #192 (Syndicated episode #21)
TV: One hour (edited.)
DVD: Attached to “Hair To A Fortune” and “Be It Ever So Humble.”
Color & Lost Episode Title: "People's Choice."
Air Date: Sat. 9/23/67
"People's Choice" (Color version):
In the Nick Clooney intro for this episode on Youtoo America, Nick says that Ralph Kramden is the most enduring role that Jackie ever played and then says all the other regular characters that he ever played but he gets stumped. Nick: "Then there's Fenwick...something Fenwick. Anyway, a question unanswered." I know the answer: Fenwick Babbit.
The June Taylor Dancers come out and sing and dance to a song about the police station I believe. After that, they leave. Ralph & Ed leave the Brooklyn Police Station. Ralph has just captured "Knuckles" Grogan. In reality, “Knuckles” Grogan was a person that Gleason knew and he worked with him. A bunch of reporters and other people are surrounding Ralph and Ed. A reporter asks how Ralph spotted Grogan. Ralph: "I was having my lunch and a guy came towards me. He looked familiar." Ed: "That was me. I was meeting him for lunch." Ralph: "I was having a pastrami sandwich that was wrapped in a newspaper." Ed: "It was mine. We traded sandwiches." Ralph: "I looked at the newspaper and saw a guy that looked familiar. He had a mustache Then, I realized that it was a piece of pastrami that was stuck to his upper lip. I brushed that away. Then, I realized it was Grogan and the person coming toward me was Grogan. So I hollered for a cop." The reporter asks Ralph about the threat that Grogan that he made. He said he was going to take care of the guy who put the finger on him. Ralph is scared. The reporter says that they are going to put "Knuckles" away for keeps. Ralph is relieved. Ralph: "He is never going to scare me." The reporter asks Ed for a statement for Ralph. Ed: "I'm very happy to be here today because this means I won't have to work for the rest of the day down in the sewer." Ed's statement also includes weather as a reason why he can't work for the rest of the day. Ralph's isn't amused. A photographer asks Ralph to take a picture of him, the commissioner and the chief. Gunshots are heard. "Knuckles" has escaped. Ralph is so scared. Ed tries to help Ralph. He gets Ralph home.
Ralph is asking Alice where she put the key to the front door. Alice has misplaced it. Alice says that the police are watching this building and Ralph is protected. Ralph isn't confident with the police watching him. He doesn't trust them. So, Ralph tries to barricade the door with furniture much in the same way he did in "The Prowler." Ed opens the front door with no problem (since the door opens from the inside). Ralph is upset that his plan isn't going to work, according to him. Ed tries to help Ralph by saying that he won't be killed. Ralph asks if Ed saw anybody suspicious. Ed says that he has and that person has been looking at the Kramdens kitchen window for three hours. It's Murphy The Undertaker. Ralph says that he can't lock the door because there is no latch, so he is a sitting duck. Ralph looks outside the window as Ed blows air into his paper bag and pops it. Ralph thinks that he has been shot and screams in pain. When he realizes what Ed did, he gets mad at Ed. Alice wonders what was that noise. Ralph: "Baby head (Ed) had to break a paper bag." Ed says that he has a disguise for Ralph. Ralph has a choice: A nanny goat or a pussycat. Ed recommends a nanny goat and he goes upstairs to get it. Ralph blames Alice for this. A knock is heard. It's the policemen. They hatch a plan. Alice goes in the hallway. Ralph will wait in the kitchen and the policemen will hide in the bedroom and they will catch "Knuckles" when Ralph says: "Knuckles, it's you.” They say if they try to catch "Knuckles" outside, an innocent bystander might get hurt. Ralph waits in the kitchen and the policemen and Alice wait in the bedroom. When "Knuckles" arrives, Ralph gets tongue-tied. Ed comes in and yells: "KNUCKLES, IT'S YOU." The policemen nab "Knuckles." and leave. Ralph is so shocked that he keeps on saying "Kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna!" The reporters come by to question Ralph and Ed. Ed tries to answer, but Ralph says that he captured him. Typical Ralph. Ralph & Ed sing a false story about Ralph capturing "Knuckles." Ed's lyrics include: "Where was I?/Where was I?" I think the song is called: "I Wouldn't Miss This For The World."
The next week, Ralph is working on his scrapbook. He's been patting himself on the back. Alice comes in with every newspaper that she could find that has Ralph's picture on the front page. Alice says that Ralph should come back down to earth. The neighbors now say that he's swellheaded. Ralph says that the neighbors are jealous because they didn't capture a killer or get some other good things like being in the audience on the Ed Sullivan Show. Ralph: "I'm a hero. A hero. Do you know what that is?" Alice: "Yeah, it's a fat sandwich." Ha! Ralph: "Just for that Alice, when I buy a wallet, I am not buying you Howard Duff's picture." I wonder if Howard Duff is related to Hilary Duff. Ralph is going to show Ed the pictures. Ralph leaves. Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver come in. They ask for Ralph. Alice gets Ralph. The men unveil their devious plan. They want to make Ralph their next candidate for the state assembly. The reason? The only thing you need to win is votes. Ralph is going to be a natural according to one of them. Mr. Miller says he read some of Ralph's interviews and says that he doesn't sound to smart. Mr. Weaver: "That is what we want. A stupid hero. Once he gets in, then we can control him." Ralph comes down and greets the two men. They heard that since Ralph captured "Knuckles", he has shown to be a fearless citizen. Oh boy! He is just the person that they need for their party. They want Ralph to run for assembly. Ralph doesn't know what to think. Mr. Weaver: "After Assembly, who knows? You may become Senator, Governor, maybe even President." Mr. Weaver says that just because Ralph is a bus driver, that shouldn't ruin his chances of becoming an Assemblyman. If Ralph is elected, they will help him out. Ralph says that he will run. They leave. Ed comes in and Ralph tells him what Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver said to him about being an Assemblyman. Ed: "Maybe if you liked peanut butter and jelly and I liked pastrami, maybe I could have become President." Alice comes in. Ed (to Alice): "There lies the next President of the U.S." Ha! Ralph is upset that Ed told Alice the good news. Ed leaves. Ralph tries to explain to Alice so she won't think that he's nuts. Alice says that she doesn't think that Ralph is nuts about thinking about running for president. Ralph says that this president stuff is way in the future and now he's running for assemblyman. Ralph mentions to Alice what Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver came in and what they told Ralph. Alice says: "If you become elected, what do you know about running for Assembly?" Ralph says that the two will help him. Alice is even more against him running. Alice then says that if Ralph gets elected, Ralph will be controlled by them and will become a stooge. Alice: "You will be an even bigger crook than they are." Ralph disagrees. Ralph & Alice sing: "The Country Needs A Man Like Me."
The whole gang comes marching down the street. Alice has the cymbals, Trixie is carrying a sign praising Ralph and Ed is playing the big drum that he is wearing. You know if I was Ralph in this situation, I think I would be SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED. Ralph is wearing a cowboy hat and boots while Ed is dressed like George Washington. Ralph says that he is dressed to look like the Governor of California. I wonder what Arnold Schwarzenegger would think if he saw Ralph Kramden dressed like that. Ralph may have been making a reference to Ronald Reagan when he said that line. Alice thinks that this is a bad idea. Ralph says that Ed is dressed like George Washington. Ed: "I thought I was dressed like Aaron Burke." Ralph practices his campaign song with Ed beating the drum. Ralph's song: "Harvey Porter Is A Bum-bum-bum!" The whole song basically insults Harvey. What a way to NOT get votes. After they are done, Ralph orders Alice to go to the movie theater and Trixie to go to the bowling alley and instruct the people to come meet Ralph. They leave. Ralph sets up a crate so Ralph can stand on. Ed beats the drums. Ralph tries to greet himself to another man who was walking by, but due to Ed beating the drums, the man can't hear Ralph and leaves. Ralph is upset. He instructs Ed to beat the drum to collect the crowd so he can greet himself. A couple of newlyweds walk by as Ralph is trying to sell himself. They don't pay attention. Ralph (to the man): "She won't be such a riot after you marry her." Gee, that's so not earning him brownie points. Ralph doesn't know what to do. Ed says that all they have to do is remember Ralph's initials. Ralph says that his middle name is "Francis." Which means that his initials are R.F.K. Ed suggests that Ralph make a slogan. Ralph already has one: "Vote For The Man That Captured 'Knuckles' Grogan." An old lady comes by; she doesn't pay attention to Ralph. Ralph (to the lady): "Keep the Faith baby!" Ralph is upset. Alice comes back and is freezing. Ralph is upset at Alice. Ed goes down to the theater He leaves. Alice wants to go home. Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver come by just as Ralph reluctantly bangs Alice's cymbals. They call Ralph and idiot for doing what he's doing and they order him to read the speech they have made for him to read at the high school rally. They leave Ralph says that he is running. Alice sings: "The Country Does Not Need A Man Like You."
There is an edit during this scene. I think it happened when Mr. Miller & Mr. Weaver talked to Ralph. Here is a description from the now defunct honeymooners.net's Message Board: "There is what appears to be a brief edit in the scene. I suspect that there was probably a Robert F. Kennedy joke here which, given the tragic way in which RFK died, was cut from the program (either in its syndication run or by the folks at GoodLife/AmericanLife)." It was later revealed that it was edited when it was repeated in 1968.
At the rally, a moving platform has Mr. Miller, Mr. Weaver, the Kramdens & Nortons and a bunch of other people on it. Mr. Miller introduces Ralph. Alice is also introduced. Ed Norton is also introduced as well as his wife. As Ralph is reading the speech that is a pack of lies, Alice leaves. Ralph regains his senses and yells at Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver to get off the stage. He denounces both of them as friends and reveals the truth about them. He praises Harvey and says that everyone should vote for him and Election time is a good time in America. Alice: "Now you are a hero." Ralph hugs and kisses Alice.
At the curtain call, Jackie has his cup of coffee in his hand. Jackie introduces 200 of the U.S. Servicemen sitting in the front row. Jackie introduces the whole cast and when he introduces Jean Kean, she makes him spill a little bit of his coffee. Jackie says goodnight to everyone.
I find it funny that this episode aired a month or so before Election Day '67 considerating new episodes followed during the month of Oct.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #191 (Syndicated episode #20)
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to "Be It Ever So Humble" & "People's Choice."
Color Honeymooners Title: "Hair To A Fortune."
Lost Episode Title: "Hair-Raising Tale."
Air Date: Sat. 9/16/67
"Hair To A Fortune":
The June Taylor Dancers come out. They sing and dance to a song about being in the park, I believe. After that, they leave. Two con men pull a scam on Ralph as he sits in the park eating his lunch. You can easily tell that the background is completely fake. One poses as the inventor of a miracle hair restorer and the other as an unscrupulous businessman trying to buy the formula. The second man "gets rough" with the smaller one and Ralph intervenes and chases off the larger man. "Prof. Steinhardt" talks to Ralph about his discovery: a hair-restoring formula. "Prof. Steinhardt": "That guy knew me when I was bald." "Prof. Steinhardt": "If I had $500 to go into business, I could make millions. Where am I going to get the $500?" He then says he can get it from Carl and because of that, he could get his share of the revenue. Ralph: "Are you sure that this formula works?" "Prof. Steinhardt": "What do you think my hair is, feathers?" Ralph then says if he gave him the money, would he get the New York revenue. "Prof. Steinhardt" is happy to oblige. Ralph gives him the address. He asks for "Prof. Steinhardt"'s picture of when he was bald. Ralph leaves. It's like if I was Ralph Kramden, I would ask for a contract or something. The con men are happy.
At home, Ralph tries to get the money for the scheme but Alice will not allow him to have the money. Ralph says that he will leave and when he gets the money, Alice is not going to get a cent. Alice thinks that the idea is crazy Alice also says that this idea is going to be another one of his bad get-rich-quick schemes. Ralph says that every bald-headed man in the world will buy it because they are rich and they use their brains. Ralph: "It's a medical fact. The more brains you use, the less hair you have." Alice takes a look at Ralph's head and bases her next response on what Ralph just said. Her response? Alice: "I rest my case." Alice says that Ralph is a born sucker. Ralph disagrees. They both sing: "Stubborn" (I think that that is the title.) Alice says no again to Ralph's plan and goes to bed. Ed Norton comes down. Ralph has kept the whole building awake by telling Alice about his plan. Everyone knows about the plan. Ralph figures he can get three hundred dollars from his life-insurance policy (which consists of only $300), and invites Norton to become his partner for a two-hundred-dollar investment. Ed tells about all the times that Ralph has roped him into get-rich-quick schemes that did nothing for Ed nor Ralph. Ralph says that this idea will work. Ralph shows a picture of "Prof. Steinhardt" when he was bald and says that now he has a lot of hair. Ed says: "$200 is a lot of money to me." Ralph: "Well, I never thought that money would come ahead of our friendship." Gee, imagine if you say to your pal: "All I want is $200." Ralph talks about some of the "good things" he did for Ed. After that Ed complies.
The first day, "Prof. Steinhardt" comes in and Ed says that with that hair, he could be Phyllis Diller's stand-in. I think Youtoo America cut out the first few minutes of this scene. The "professor" gives the ingredients and Ralph gives him the $500. The "professor" wishes them luck. Ralph thought up a name for the product which is called Grow Hair. The "professor" shows them the sample bottle of the formula and the instructions on how to make everything. The "professor" says that if there is anything they need to know, they can reach them in Chicago. He tries to leave. Ralph asks that if there is any papers that he needs to sign. The "professor" says no. He trusts Ralph. You can tell right there that this is a scam, but of course Ralph & Ed can't. Ed says that he didn't give him their address. Ralph goes to find him but all he sees on the street is a bald man. Do you think that that was the "professor"? They get a pan to mix the formulas. Ralph and Ed try to mix the ingredients in typical Ralph and Ed fashion. One of their mistakes is that Ralph calls the H2O bottle: "Ho." He says that you never pronounce the number in chemistry formulas. Ed pours the H2O in the bowl. Ralph: "Take it easy with that H20. What do you think it is, water?" Ralph also accidentally pours Ed's beer that he left on the table into the bowl that they are using for hair formula, thinking that that was one of the bottles that they were supposed to use. When he hears what he did, he calls Ed stupid. Ralph lines up the bottles and Ed calls them out when they are ready to be poured in. They end up mispronouncing every name on the bottle. Mr. Mitchell, a half-bald man and Ralph's boss, arrives informing Ralph of a bus assignment. Ralph tells him of the formula that he and Ed made. Mr. Mitchell says that he has tried a lot of hair-restoring formulas but none of them has ever worked. Ralph lets him try theirs. They put a sheet around Mr. Mitchell's neck so his clothes won't get wet. They drop some of the sample formula on Mr. Mitchell's head and put a hot towel on Mr. Mitchell's head. Mr. Mitchell doesn't like the hotness of the towel but he takes it easy. Ralph & Ed sing: "A Head of Hair Makes A Man A Millionaire."
A while later, Ed asks Ralph if he can try this formula on a cousin of his. Ralph: "Sure." Ed: "She will really appreciate it." The towel is taken off and not only did it not grow hair but kills all of what Mr. Mitchell had. I think you can tell that that actor that played Mr. Mitchell is wearing something on his head to make him look bald. Question: How could that formula kill Mr. Mitchell's hair? Ralph smashes the mirror that Ed was holding (unbeknownst to Mr. Mitchell) and blames it on Ed. Ralph: "You look very young." Ed: "About eight days old." The girls come home and see Mr. Mitchell and they realize that h e is bald. Trixie (not knowing that Mr. Mitchell had hair) says to Ed: "You better test that formula before you try it out on Mr. Mitchell." She says something like that. Alice: "I think that Ralph & Ed did." Mr. Mitchell: "I used to have a problem with my hair." Trixie: "You certainly don't have one now." Mr. Mitchell finds out what has happened to his hair and says he will sue both Ralph and Ed and Ralph will lose his job. Question: Shouldn't Mr. Mitchell found out how much hair he has on his head by feeling how cold his scalp was? Alice and Trixie don't like what their husbands did and blame Mr. Mitchell's bald head on them. Ed: "Don't blame me. The formula is a good dandruff remover." Ed: "He can't sue us. All the money we have has been used up for the hair-restorer. Ralph doesn't understand how everything went wrong. Alice sarcastically doesn't understand and reviews the story of how Ralph found out about the formula and what Ralph did. The formula somehow also caused the bowl they were using to break. How did that happen? All of them sing: "I Told You So." during which the girls remind each of their husband’s terrible ideas and each of the husbands defend themselves. One of Ed's ideas was taking a hypnosis course and somehow ended up hypnotizing one of Trixie's family members to believe that he is a chicken that lays eggs. Oh gosh! That is grounds enough for divorce right there I think. Ed says that because of him laying eggs, he is making money.
The next day, Ralph and Ed try to do the same thing to a guy on the park bench what the two shady people did to Ralph. (Ralph even looks and acts like "Prof. Steinhardt" complete with fake foreign accent.) Only problem is of course is that that Ed is the bully and Ralph is the victim. Not very believable. Not only that, but the person on the park bench doesn't intervene. Ed leaves. Ralph tries to sell Grow Hair to the guy (played by George Petrie). But the guy talks to him about his invention he is trying to market, an electric zipper. Ralph forgets all about unloading Grow Hair and wonders how much money he can make selling zippers as everyone dances around them and people sing: "There Is Fun For All In Central Park."
At the curtain call, Jackie says "How Sweet It Is" and praises the Miami Beach audience He also introduces the regular cast members and says good night to everyone.
Episode #192 (Syndicated episode #21)
TV: One hour (edited.)
DVD: Attached to “Hair To A Fortune” and “Be It Ever So Humble.”
Color & Lost Episode Title: "People's Choice."
Air Date: Sat. 9/23/67
"People's Choice" (Color version):
In the Nick Clooney intro for this episode on Youtoo America, Nick says that Ralph Kramden is the most enduring role that Jackie ever played and then says all the other regular characters that he ever played but he gets stumped. Nick: "Then there's Fenwick...something Fenwick. Anyway, a question unanswered." I know the answer: Fenwick Babbit.
The June Taylor Dancers come out and sing and dance to a song about the police station I believe. After that, they leave. Ralph & Ed leave the Brooklyn Police Station. Ralph has just captured "Knuckles" Grogan. In reality, “Knuckles” Grogan was a person that Gleason knew and he worked with him. A bunch of reporters and other people are surrounding Ralph and Ed. A reporter asks how Ralph spotted Grogan. Ralph: "I was having my lunch and a guy came towards me. He looked familiar." Ed: "That was me. I was meeting him for lunch." Ralph: "I was having a pastrami sandwich that was wrapped in a newspaper." Ed: "It was mine. We traded sandwiches." Ralph: "I looked at the newspaper and saw a guy that looked familiar. He had a mustache Then, I realized that it was a piece of pastrami that was stuck to his upper lip. I brushed that away. Then, I realized it was Grogan and the person coming toward me was Grogan. So I hollered for a cop." The reporter asks Ralph about the threat that Grogan that he made. He said he was going to take care of the guy who put the finger on him. Ralph is scared. The reporter says that they are going to put "Knuckles" away for keeps. Ralph is relieved. Ralph: "He is never going to scare me." The reporter asks Ed for a statement for Ralph. Ed: "I'm very happy to be here today because this means I won't have to work for the rest of the day down in the sewer." Ed's statement also includes weather as a reason why he can't work for the rest of the day. Ralph's isn't amused. A photographer asks Ralph to take a picture of him, the commissioner and the chief. Gunshots are heard. "Knuckles" has escaped. Ralph is so scared. Ed tries to help Ralph. He gets Ralph home.
Ralph is asking Alice where she put the key to the front door. Alice has misplaced it. Alice says that the police are watching this building and Ralph is protected. Ralph isn't confident with the police watching him. He doesn't trust them. So, Ralph tries to barricade the door with furniture much in the same way he did in "The Prowler." Ed opens the front door with no problem (since the door opens from the inside). Ralph is upset that his plan isn't going to work, according to him. Ed tries to help Ralph by saying that he won't be killed. Ralph asks if Ed saw anybody suspicious. Ed says that he has and that person has been looking at the Kramdens kitchen window for three hours. It's Murphy The Undertaker. Ralph says that he can't lock the door because there is no latch, so he is a sitting duck. Ralph looks outside the window as Ed blows air into his paper bag and pops it. Ralph thinks that he has been shot and screams in pain. When he realizes what Ed did, he gets mad at Ed. Alice wonders what was that noise. Ralph: "Baby head (Ed) had to break a paper bag." Ed says that he has a disguise for Ralph. Ralph has a choice: A nanny goat or a pussycat. Ed recommends a nanny goat and he goes upstairs to get it. Ralph blames Alice for this. A knock is heard. It's the policemen. They hatch a plan. Alice goes in the hallway. Ralph will wait in the kitchen and the policemen will hide in the bedroom and they will catch "Knuckles" when Ralph says: "Knuckles, it's you.” They say if they try to catch "Knuckles" outside, an innocent bystander might get hurt. Ralph waits in the kitchen and the policemen and Alice wait in the bedroom. When "Knuckles" arrives, Ralph gets tongue-tied. Ed comes in and yells: "KNUCKLES, IT'S YOU." The policemen nab "Knuckles." and leave. Ralph is so shocked that he keeps on saying "Kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna!" The reporters come by to question Ralph and Ed. Ed tries to answer, but Ralph says that he captured him. Typical Ralph. Ralph & Ed sing a false story about Ralph capturing "Knuckles." Ed's lyrics include: "Where was I?/Where was I?" I think the song is called: "I Wouldn't Miss This For The World."
The next week, Ralph is working on his scrapbook. He's been patting himself on the back. Alice comes in with every newspaper that she could find that has Ralph's picture on the front page. Alice says that Ralph should come back down to earth. The neighbors now say that he's swellheaded. Ralph says that the neighbors are jealous because they didn't capture a killer or get some other good things like being in the audience on the Ed Sullivan Show. Ralph: "I'm a hero. A hero. Do you know what that is?" Alice: "Yeah, it's a fat sandwich." Ha! Ralph: "Just for that Alice, when I buy a wallet, I am not buying you Howard Duff's picture." I wonder if Howard Duff is related to Hilary Duff. Ralph is going to show Ed the pictures. Ralph leaves. Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver come in. They ask for Ralph. Alice gets Ralph. The men unveil their devious plan. They want to make Ralph their next candidate for the state assembly. The reason? The only thing you need to win is votes. Ralph is going to be a natural according to one of them. Mr. Miller says he read some of Ralph's interviews and says that he doesn't sound to smart. Mr. Weaver: "That is what we want. A stupid hero. Once he gets in, then we can control him." Ralph comes down and greets the two men. They heard that since Ralph captured "Knuckles", he has shown to be a fearless citizen. Oh boy! He is just the person that they need for their party. They want Ralph to run for assembly. Ralph doesn't know what to think. Mr. Weaver: "After Assembly, who knows? You may become Senator, Governor, maybe even President." Mr. Weaver says that just because Ralph is a bus driver, that shouldn't ruin his chances of becoming an Assemblyman. If Ralph is elected, they will help him out. Ralph says that he will run. They leave. Ed comes in and Ralph tells him what Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver said to him about being an Assemblyman. Ed: "Maybe if you liked peanut butter and jelly and I liked pastrami, maybe I could have become President." Alice comes in. Ed (to Alice): "There lies the next President of the U.S." Ha! Ralph is upset that Ed told Alice the good news. Ed leaves. Ralph tries to explain to Alice so she won't think that he's nuts. Alice says that she doesn't think that Ralph is nuts about thinking about running for president. Ralph says that this president stuff is way in the future and now he's running for assemblyman. Ralph mentions to Alice what Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver came in and what they told Ralph. Alice says: "If you become elected, what do you know about running for Assembly?" Ralph says that the two will help him. Alice is even more against him running. Alice then says that if Ralph gets elected, Ralph will be controlled by them and will become a stooge. Alice: "You will be an even bigger crook than they are." Ralph disagrees. Ralph & Alice sing: "The Country Needs A Man Like Me."
The whole gang comes marching down the street. Alice has the cymbals, Trixie is carrying a sign praising Ralph and Ed is playing the big drum that he is wearing. You know if I was Ralph in this situation, I think I would be SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED. Ralph is wearing a cowboy hat and boots while Ed is dressed like George Washington. Ralph says that he is dressed to look like the Governor of California. I wonder what Arnold Schwarzenegger would think if he saw Ralph Kramden dressed like that. Ralph may have been making a reference to Ronald Reagan when he said that line. Alice thinks that this is a bad idea. Ralph says that Ed is dressed like George Washington. Ed: "I thought I was dressed like Aaron Burke." Ralph practices his campaign song with Ed beating the drum. Ralph's song: "Harvey Porter Is A Bum-bum-bum!" The whole song basically insults Harvey. What a way to NOT get votes. After they are done, Ralph orders Alice to go to the movie theater and Trixie to go to the bowling alley and instruct the people to come meet Ralph. They leave. Ralph sets up a crate so Ralph can stand on. Ed beats the drums. Ralph tries to greet himself to another man who was walking by, but due to Ed beating the drums, the man can't hear Ralph and leaves. Ralph is upset. He instructs Ed to beat the drum to collect the crowd so he can greet himself. A couple of newlyweds walk by as Ralph is trying to sell himself. They don't pay attention. Ralph (to the man): "She won't be such a riot after you marry her." Gee, that's so not earning him brownie points. Ralph doesn't know what to do. Ed says that all they have to do is remember Ralph's initials. Ralph says that his middle name is "Francis." Which means that his initials are R.F.K. Ed suggests that Ralph make a slogan. Ralph already has one: "Vote For The Man That Captured 'Knuckles' Grogan." An old lady comes by; she doesn't pay attention to Ralph. Ralph (to the lady): "Keep the Faith baby!" Ralph is upset. Alice comes back and is freezing. Ralph is upset at Alice. Ed goes down to the theater He leaves. Alice wants to go home. Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver come by just as Ralph reluctantly bangs Alice's cymbals. They call Ralph and idiot for doing what he's doing and they order him to read the speech they have made for him to read at the high school rally. They leave Ralph says that he is running. Alice sings: "The Country Does Not Need A Man Like You."
There is an edit during this scene. I think it happened when Mr. Miller & Mr. Weaver talked to Ralph. Here is a description from the now defunct honeymooners.net's Message Board: "There is what appears to be a brief edit in the scene. I suspect that there was probably a Robert F. Kennedy joke here which, given the tragic way in which RFK died, was cut from the program (either in its syndication run or by the folks at GoodLife/AmericanLife)." It was later revealed that it was edited when it was repeated in 1968.
At the rally, a moving platform has Mr. Miller, Mr. Weaver, the Kramdens & Nortons and a bunch of other people on it. Mr. Miller introduces Ralph. Alice is also introduced. Ed Norton is also introduced as well as his wife. As Ralph is reading the speech that is a pack of lies, Alice leaves. Ralph regains his senses and yells at Mr. Miller and Mr. Weaver to get off the stage. He denounces both of them as friends and reveals the truth about them. He praises Harvey and says that everyone should vote for him and Election time is a good time in America. Alice: "Now you are a hero." Ralph hugs and kisses Alice.
At the curtain call, Jackie has his cup of coffee in his hand. Jackie introduces 200 of the U.S. Servicemen sitting in the front row. Jackie introduces the whole cast and when he introduces Jean Kean, she makes him spill a little bit of his coffee. Jackie says goodnight to everyone.
I find it funny that this episode aired a month or so before Election Day '67 considerating new episodes followed during the month of Oct.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.