Frank Gannucci
07-31-2020, 07:05 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Ship of Fools" & "Poor People of Paris.":
Episode #175 (Syndicated episode is #2)
DVD: Attached to "In 25 Words Or Less" & "Poor People of Paris".
Color Honeymooners Title: "Ship Of Fools."
Lost Episode Title: "Away We Go."
Air Date: Sat. 10/1/66
"Ship of Fools":
At the ship's dock, everyone is dancing. They are singing: "We are off to Paris." Mr. Masterson and his assistant arrive and await the Kramdens & Nortons. Ralph is in a captain's outfit. Ed has a loud jacket on and Trixie is carrying their entire luggage. Ed says that he works under Madison Avenue is the sewer and they have a slogan which is: "Let's roll it down the manhole and see if it floats." They get their picture taken with the girls sitting on the luggage. The photographer feels Ralph's leg. Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!" Alice: "All he wants is a little cheese cake." Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?" As the man takes his photo, Ralph ties his shoe so Ralph's backside is in the picture. D'Oh! Ralph and Ed get their picture taken with a box of Flakey Wakey but holds the box up in front of Ralph's picture. Ed says that he has been to Europe before and didn't enjoy it because the Germans kept shooting at him but this was after the war. Ralph & Ed argue about who was responsible for winning the contest in which Ralph calls Flakey Wakey junk food. When Ralph is asked what part of Europe he is looking forward to seeing, he begins to sing: "You Can See It in Paris." Everybody joins in. This moment from the lost episode version of this episode was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002. They all go on the ship.
On the ship, a member of the crew announces that it's time for lunch. The girls love the food on the ship. Ralph comes out wearing a VERY LOUD outfit that has brown spots all over it. Ed comes out with a life caver on his neck. Ed throws his vest away and says that he likes the "badminton" court. Ralph: "Must you show your ignorance. This is a hopscotch court." Actually, it's neither. Ralph says that they use first class weights on ships. Ralph throws the weight down on the No. 1 spot and hop scotches all the way up and down the court. He looks ridiculous. Ed tries to do the same but he slowly runs rather than hop scotches. They sit down and cover themselves with blankets. For some reason, Ed is having trouble tucking himself in so he offers to Ralph that he will tuck him in if Ralph tucks him in. Ralph agrees and tucks Ed in but now Ralph wants to be tucked in. Ed tucks him in and asks Ralph to tuck him in. Ralph yells at Ed. A crew member offers them champagne. Ralph says that he never touches the stuff which causes the audience to laugh. The man says that the champagne is free. Ralph then asks for some champagne. The guy offers hors d' oeuvres. Es asks for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Ralph says to Ed to eat the hors d' oeuvres. Ralph is starting to get seasick. Ed says he was seasick when he first started out in the sewer. Ed eats the hors d' oeuvres and says that some of the ingredients are chopped liver and pistachio. Ralph gets even sicker as Ed loves the food that he eats and orders Ed to stop. Ralph & Ed then sing: "I Never Felt Better in My Life." They dance too. Ed slaps Ralph on the back. Ralph gets even sicker and runs out of sight with Ed following him.
Ralph and Ed come back to their chairs and lie down. A man in a turban sits down next to them. Ralph says that he is an Indian. Ed (to the person): "How Kemosabe." The man leaves. Ralph calls Ed stupid and says that was an India Indian and the reason why he has that thing on his head (turban) because he just washed his hair. Ed writes postcards. Ed: "Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry." "Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce." Dear George: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry." Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hoping things are flowing along nicely. Suggest you keep an eye on Bruce, Harry & George as they are standing around and giving each other regards…" Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU STOP THAT?" Ralph tries to take a nap. A French man sits down next to them. French Man: "Bon Jour Miseour." Ed (taking his snacks): "Don't mind if I do." His gal pal, Suzette, comes around and she talks French to him. After he keeps on saying: "No, I can't! I can't!", Ed says: "What is she saying? Maybe I can." They leave. Ralph walks around. Ed walks around with him. They get into the life boat and accidentally release it into the water. D'Oh!
While on the life boat, Ralph and eat are sitting down. It is VERY obvious that the water is fake. (Not that I actually expected them to be in real water even though they were filming this episode in Miami Beach.) Ralph is blaming Ed for the mishap. Ralph: "You did it again." Ralph says that they will never spot us. Ed disagrees since they should be able to spot Ralph. Ed: "The Navy may think that Bermuda may break loose if they spot you on this boat." Ed tries to look on the bright side, especially since he may never see Trixie again. Ralph says that he has to be saved to get away from Ed. Ed tries to think up a game in which he is thinking of a motion picture star and the other guy has to guess who he is thinking off. Ralph is thinking of one. Ed: "Sophie O' Lauren?" Ralph says that he is right. Ed's turn. Ed's hint: The person has a mustache Ralph: "Man or woman?" Ed: "His initials are J.B." Ralph gets stumped. Ed: "George Brent." Ralph is losing his mind. Ed is starting to get cold. So he wraps himself up. Ed finds a lot of things like a radio. Ralph: "We can send for help." Ralph cranks and Ed will send. Ed sings: "Seems like Old Times." Ed sends the message by pressing one of the radio's buttons. Ed says to stop cranking. Ed listens for the answer but doesn't hear anything. Ralph listens, but doesn't hear anything important. Ed finds a bottle of booze. They drink it. Ralph: "If I'm going to be out here for a long time, I want to get loaded right now." They are drunk. They say that each other is the best friend that they have ever had. They sing: "Let Me Die with a Pal like You." They remember when they were like kids growing up and meeting their wives.
At the dock in France, everyone is singing: ""We are off to Paris." It is revealed that the boys were saved. The Kramdens & Nortons come out. Alice has on a VERY ORANGE jacket. The girls say that the husbands embarrassed them by going lost on that lifeboat and coming back drunk. Ed says that he is looking at the Eiffel Tower. Ralph says that is the Statue of Degal because it has a pointing thing on top. Alice says that the Wakey Flakey representative was supposed to meet them. I wonder if Shelia flubbed her line there since the company is the FLAKEY WAKEY Company. The Paris representative of Flakey Wakey comes by (with a fake mustache) and offers to take their picture. Ralph says that this time, he will be in the picture. Ralph gets on a green thing with wheels. Ed accidentally leans against it too much and Ralph falls into the water but comes back drenched seconds later. Ralph: "And to think that I am going around the world with this nut." They leave the ship area.
There is no curtain call. If there was one, it was edited out, but not by MPI.
Episode #176 (Syndicated episode #3)
DVD: Attached to "In 25 Words or Less" & "Fools' Ship":
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Paris' Poor People"
Lost Episode Title: "Plastered In Paris"
Air Date: Sat. 10/8/66
"Poor People of Paris":
The episode opens up with a hotel butler (played by Martin Green) and maids (June Taylor Dancers) and other cleaners are singing: "The Americans Are Coming" in which some of the lyrics are: "they are very rich." Sure. Isn't a coincidence that when a TV family goes to a foreign language-speaking country, they always run into at least one person that speaks their language? I read somewhere that Martin Green in this episode had the very same role in the ’57 version. Only by this time, he suffered a very serious leg injury which required him to have that leg amputated. So, he did this number on a fake leg. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive. Butler: "On behalf of Belle France, we welcome you to Paris." Ralph: "On behalf of Belle Brooklyn, we thank you again." The cleaners and maids leave. Ralph says that this hotel room is not what they are used to because it doesn't have the conveniences they got at home. Ed: "There is no sink in the living room." Ralph: "We have a suite like this for the servants. We have a maid, a butler, a cook, a washer woman, a cleaning woman, a handy man." Butler: "Did you bring all of them with you?" Alice: "Yes, he did and I'm pleased to meet you." The butler leaves. The girls freshen up. A bellboy (played by George Petrie) comes with their luggage and wants to put the entire luggage into the respective bedrooms. Ed brought a scuba tank because he wants to see the sewers of Paris. Ralph & Ed then argue over who's going to have the master bedroom and who is going to have the smaller bedroom. Ed wants to settle the argument democratically by a vote. Ralph: "There are only two of us." Ed: "One of them would be a secret ballot. I thought you would vote for me." Ed offers to flip a coin to see who would get the master bedroom. Ralph calls heads. Ed & Ralph now are arguing over who should get heads or tails. Ed offers to choose odds or evens to see who gets heads. Ralph gets odds. Ed is now upset because Ralph called odds. Ralph said he got odds because of the size of his fist compared to Ed's. Ed wins "Odds or Evens." Ralph goes to flip the coin. Ed chooses tails which proves that Ralph & Ed were wasting their time over playing "Odds or Evens." Ed wins the toss and now he has forgotten over what they flipped the coin for. Ralph said it was to see who got the SMALLER bedroom. Classic bit where Ralph screws Ed. Ed is now all happy because he won the smaller bedroom. The bellboy comes into the living room. Ralph says that since they are going out on the town, they have to change their dollars into francs. The boys go into their bedrooms. The bellboy calls Pierre and identifies himself as Henri. They plan on giving the boys counterfeit money.
Later on, Ralph gets his American dollars ready. The bellboy comes by with two friends that will give them a "great" exchange rate. They both come in as the audience applauds. Pierre is the tall one and Francois is the short one. They are from the "left" bank. Ralph & Ed wish to exchange $900. Ralph wants 10 francs for every dollar that him & Ed have. They don't get their wish because Pierre and Francois will lose their money so they offer him 9 francs for every dollar and throw in the suitcase. Ralph: "It's a deal." Francois says in French (with Henri translating): "It's been a pleasure to give YOU the business." Pierre says good-bye to Ralph and Ed the French way by "kissing" their shoulders. Francois tries to do the same, but can't. Henri and his boys leave. Ralph: "We are rich." They boys tell the wives of their good fortune and they are happy. They all sing: "Buy, buy, buy." I heard when this song was originally shown; there was a big glitch somewhere in the film that took place while Jackie was singing. MPI got rid of that glitch by showing the part where Ralph is singing something else then the audio would like us to believe.
At a French café called La Dome, the dancers are singing: "In Paris." Ralph & Ed order lunch. Ralph continues to badly speak French by saying to the owner that they want the table that is closest to the sidewalk. Ed: "We want something gutter side." They get their wish. Ralph: "Don't you want to aid Franco-American relations?" Ed: "What do I care of what spaghetti company thinks of me?" Ralph calls the waiter "Gargoyle." It is actually Garcon, I think. Ed says he may not speak French like Ralph, but he speaks Greek. He says "Stromberry." Ralph: "Norton, in the month of May, don't come out of the house because that is when they gather nuts." Ralph says he wants to eat before he drinks because he wants to eat on a full stomach. Ed: "Is you do that, then the bars will be closed." Ed wants a banana split. Ralph says that he will embarrass him by eating a banana split, so he asks him to change his order. Typical Ralph. Ed: "But, I want one." Ralph: "All right, embarrass yourself." Ralph calls the waiter and asks for a coup deglaze avec chandelier. Waiter: "All right. TWO banana splits." Ralph just embarrassed himself. A cop comes by and asks them if they want tickets to the Gendarme's Ball that is in four weeks. Ed says that they won't be here by that time and says no. Ralph says they will buy the tickets even though they won't be here because the ticket money is going to be used for charity. How did he know that? Ralph buys 15 of them and the cop and café owner is upset when the money they have gotten from those two is counterfeit. The cops arrest Ralph & Ed and take them to jail.
In jail, Ed imitates James Cagney. Ralph is upset because they speak English and the police don't and no one knows that they are there. Ed suggests that they stay put. Ed notices something written on the wall that says: "Let me out. Count of Monte Crisco." Ralph is sitting on an unmade bed and much to his dismay, Ed tries to make it. Ed irritates Ralph more by singing "Moon River." Ralph is upset at Pierre and Francois and wants to kill them. Ed says he knew they were crooks because he's the President of the Dick Tracy Crime Stoppers." Ralph says that people are coming for Ed with a net. Ed suggests breaking out. He saw Bruce Cabot do it in a motion picture. Ralph says that just because it happened once, it can't happen again. Ed: "Sure, it can. They remade the same picture 10 years later." The crowd claps because almost 10 years prior, the original Honeymooners sketches were made. Bruce Cabot and Primo Cabera are in jail and Primo's character acts like he's sick. The prison guard walks in and Bruce clobbers him while he's checking on Primo. Ralph & Ed try to do the same thing but Ed can't bring himself to hit the guard and when he does, he misses and hits Ralph. The girls come in. They are arrested for giving counterfeit money too. Trixie: "I have never been so humiliated. Being picked up like… I don't know who I am." She cries. This is the first time I have seen Jean Kean cry. Alice is fed up this time. They sing: "So Upset." After that, Myron Gregory from the American Embassy comes in and tells them that he's told everything to the proper authorities informs them that they are free to leave (when Alice was arrested, she called the embassy.) The Nortons leave. But Alice & Ralph stay for a while and Ralph literally sings the praises of Alice. Alice hugs him and forgives him.
The next day, at the La Dome, the Kramdens & Nortons are having some champagne. They want to enjoy their last day in Paris. Ralph & Ed then see Pierre and Francois come by with the suitcase full of phony money and nab them. They see a cop and Pierre claims that he will confess everything. Ralph, being that he doesn't know French and the cop doesn't know English, allows him too. Francois then lies to the cop about Ralph & Ed being counterfeiters and the cop puts Ralph & Ed in jail.
At the curtain call, Jackie claims that he had a slight sore throat when he was doing this episode and says for the first time in these episodes that the Miami Beach crowds are the best. He thanks the writers of the show and the songs. He then introduces some of the cast and says good night.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #175 (Syndicated episode is #2)
DVD: Attached to "In 25 Words Or Less" & "Poor People of Paris".
Color Honeymooners Title: "Ship Of Fools."
Lost Episode Title: "Away We Go."
Air Date: Sat. 10/1/66
"Ship of Fools":
At the ship's dock, everyone is dancing. They are singing: "We are off to Paris." Mr. Masterson and his assistant arrive and await the Kramdens & Nortons. Ralph is in a captain's outfit. Ed has a loud jacket on and Trixie is carrying their entire luggage. Ed says that he works under Madison Avenue is the sewer and they have a slogan which is: "Let's roll it down the manhole and see if it floats." They get their picture taken with the girls sitting on the luggage. The photographer feels Ralph's leg. Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!" Alice: "All he wants is a little cheese cake." Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?" As the man takes his photo, Ralph ties his shoe so Ralph's backside is in the picture. D'Oh! Ralph and Ed get their picture taken with a box of Flakey Wakey but holds the box up in front of Ralph's picture. Ed says that he has been to Europe before and didn't enjoy it because the Germans kept shooting at him but this was after the war. Ralph & Ed argue about who was responsible for winning the contest in which Ralph calls Flakey Wakey junk food. When Ralph is asked what part of Europe he is looking forward to seeing, he begins to sing: "You Can See It in Paris." Everybody joins in. This moment from the lost episode version of this episode was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002. They all go on the ship.
On the ship, a member of the crew announces that it's time for lunch. The girls love the food on the ship. Ralph comes out wearing a VERY LOUD outfit that has brown spots all over it. Ed comes out with a life caver on his neck. Ed throws his vest away and says that he likes the "badminton" court. Ralph: "Must you show your ignorance. This is a hopscotch court." Actually, it's neither. Ralph says that they use first class weights on ships. Ralph throws the weight down on the No. 1 spot and hop scotches all the way up and down the court. He looks ridiculous. Ed tries to do the same but he slowly runs rather than hop scotches. They sit down and cover themselves with blankets. For some reason, Ed is having trouble tucking himself in so he offers to Ralph that he will tuck him in if Ralph tucks him in. Ralph agrees and tucks Ed in but now Ralph wants to be tucked in. Ed tucks him in and asks Ralph to tuck him in. Ralph yells at Ed. A crew member offers them champagne. Ralph says that he never touches the stuff which causes the audience to laugh. The man says that the champagne is free. Ralph then asks for some champagne. The guy offers hors d' oeuvres. Es asks for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Ralph says to Ed to eat the hors d' oeuvres. Ralph is starting to get seasick. Ed says he was seasick when he first started out in the sewer. Ed eats the hors d' oeuvres and says that some of the ingredients are chopped liver and pistachio. Ralph gets even sicker as Ed loves the food that he eats and orders Ed to stop. Ralph & Ed then sing: "I Never Felt Better in My Life." They dance too. Ed slaps Ralph on the back. Ralph gets even sicker and runs out of sight with Ed following him.
Ralph and Ed come back to their chairs and lie down. A man in a turban sits down next to them. Ralph says that he is an Indian. Ed (to the person): "How Kemosabe." The man leaves. Ralph calls Ed stupid and says that was an India Indian and the reason why he has that thing on his head (turban) because he just washed his hair. Ed writes postcards. Ed: "Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry." "Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce." Dear George: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry." Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hoping things are flowing along nicely. Suggest you keep an eye on Bruce, Harry & George as they are standing around and giving each other regards…" Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU STOP THAT?" Ralph tries to take a nap. A French man sits down next to them. French Man: "Bon Jour Miseour." Ed (taking his snacks): "Don't mind if I do." His gal pal, Suzette, comes around and she talks French to him. After he keeps on saying: "No, I can't! I can't!", Ed says: "What is she saying? Maybe I can." They leave. Ralph walks around. Ed walks around with him. They get into the life boat and accidentally release it into the water. D'Oh!
While on the life boat, Ralph and eat are sitting down. It is VERY obvious that the water is fake. (Not that I actually expected them to be in real water even though they were filming this episode in Miami Beach.) Ralph is blaming Ed for the mishap. Ralph: "You did it again." Ralph says that they will never spot us. Ed disagrees since they should be able to spot Ralph. Ed: "The Navy may think that Bermuda may break loose if they spot you on this boat." Ed tries to look on the bright side, especially since he may never see Trixie again. Ralph says that he has to be saved to get away from Ed. Ed tries to think up a game in which he is thinking of a motion picture star and the other guy has to guess who he is thinking off. Ralph is thinking of one. Ed: "Sophie O' Lauren?" Ralph says that he is right. Ed's turn. Ed's hint: The person has a mustache Ralph: "Man or woman?" Ed: "His initials are J.B." Ralph gets stumped. Ed: "George Brent." Ralph is losing his mind. Ed is starting to get cold. So he wraps himself up. Ed finds a lot of things like a radio. Ralph: "We can send for help." Ralph cranks and Ed will send. Ed sings: "Seems like Old Times." Ed sends the message by pressing one of the radio's buttons. Ed says to stop cranking. Ed listens for the answer but doesn't hear anything. Ralph listens, but doesn't hear anything important. Ed finds a bottle of booze. They drink it. Ralph: "If I'm going to be out here for a long time, I want to get loaded right now." They are drunk. They say that each other is the best friend that they have ever had. They sing: "Let Me Die with a Pal like You." They remember when they were like kids growing up and meeting their wives.
At the dock in France, everyone is singing: ""We are off to Paris." It is revealed that the boys were saved. The Kramdens & Nortons come out. Alice has on a VERY ORANGE jacket. The girls say that the husbands embarrassed them by going lost on that lifeboat and coming back drunk. Ed says that he is looking at the Eiffel Tower. Ralph says that is the Statue of Degal because it has a pointing thing on top. Alice says that the Wakey Flakey representative was supposed to meet them. I wonder if Shelia flubbed her line there since the company is the FLAKEY WAKEY Company. The Paris representative of Flakey Wakey comes by (with a fake mustache) and offers to take their picture. Ralph says that this time, he will be in the picture. Ralph gets on a green thing with wheels. Ed accidentally leans against it too much and Ralph falls into the water but comes back drenched seconds later. Ralph: "And to think that I am going around the world with this nut." They leave the ship area.
There is no curtain call. If there was one, it was edited out, but not by MPI.
Episode #176 (Syndicated episode #3)
DVD: Attached to "In 25 Words or Less" & "Fools' Ship":
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Paris' Poor People"
Lost Episode Title: "Plastered In Paris"
Air Date: Sat. 10/8/66
"Poor People of Paris":
The episode opens up with a hotel butler (played by Martin Green) and maids (June Taylor Dancers) and other cleaners are singing: "The Americans Are Coming" in which some of the lyrics are: "they are very rich." Sure. Isn't a coincidence that when a TV family goes to a foreign language-speaking country, they always run into at least one person that speaks their language? I read somewhere that Martin Green in this episode had the very same role in the ’57 version. Only by this time, he suffered a very serious leg injury which required him to have that leg amputated. So, he did this number on a fake leg. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive. Butler: "On behalf of Belle France, we welcome you to Paris." Ralph: "On behalf of Belle Brooklyn, we thank you again." The cleaners and maids leave. Ralph says that this hotel room is not what they are used to because it doesn't have the conveniences they got at home. Ed: "There is no sink in the living room." Ralph: "We have a suite like this for the servants. We have a maid, a butler, a cook, a washer woman, a cleaning woman, a handy man." Butler: "Did you bring all of them with you?" Alice: "Yes, he did and I'm pleased to meet you." The butler leaves. The girls freshen up. A bellboy (played by George Petrie) comes with their luggage and wants to put the entire luggage into the respective bedrooms. Ed brought a scuba tank because he wants to see the sewers of Paris. Ralph & Ed then argue over who's going to have the master bedroom and who is going to have the smaller bedroom. Ed wants to settle the argument democratically by a vote. Ralph: "There are only two of us." Ed: "One of them would be a secret ballot. I thought you would vote for me." Ed offers to flip a coin to see who would get the master bedroom. Ralph calls heads. Ed & Ralph now are arguing over who should get heads or tails. Ed offers to choose odds or evens to see who gets heads. Ralph gets odds. Ed is now upset because Ralph called odds. Ralph said he got odds because of the size of his fist compared to Ed's. Ed wins "Odds or Evens." Ralph goes to flip the coin. Ed chooses tails which proves that Ralph & Ed were wasting their time over playing "Odds or Evens." Ed wins the toss and now he has forgotten over what they flipped the coin for. Ralph said it was to see who got the SMALLER bedroom. Classic bit where Ralph screws Ed. Ed is now all happy because he won the smaller bedroom. The bellboy comes into the living room. Ralph says that since they are going out on the town, they have to change their dollars into francs. The boys go into their bedrooms. The bellboy calls Pierre and identifies himself as Henri. They plan on giving the boys counterfeit money.
Later on, Ralph gets his American dollars ready. The bellboy comes by with two friends that will give them a "great" exchange rate. They both come in as the audience applauds. Pierre is the tall one and Francois is the short one. They are from the "left" bank. Ralph & Ed wish to exchange $900. Ralph wants 10 francs for every dollar that him & Ed have. They don't get their wish because Pierre and Francois will lose their money so they offer him 9 francs for every dollar and throw in the suitcase. Ralph: "It's a deal." Francois says in French (with Henri translating): "It's been a pleasure to give YOU the business." Pierre says good-bye to Ralph and Ed the French way by "kissing" their shoulders. Francois tries to do the same, but can't. Henri and his boys leave. Ralph: "We are rich." They boys tell the wives of their good fortune and they are happy. They all sing: "Buy, buy, buy." I heard when this song was originally shown; there was a big glitch somewhere in the film that took place while Jackie was singing. MPI got rid of that glitch by showing the part where Ralph is singing something else then the audio would like us to believe.
At a French café called La Dome, the dancers are singing: "In Paris." Ralph & Ed order lunch. Ralph continues to badly speak French by saying to the owner that they want the table that is closest to the sidewalk. Ed: "We want something gutter side." They get their wish. Ralph: "Don't you want to aid Franco-American relations?" Ed: "What do I care of what spaghetti company thinks of me?" Ralph calls the waiter "Gargoyle." It is actually Garcon, I think. Ed says he may not speak French like Ralph, but he speaks Greek. He says "Stromberry." Ralph: "Norton, in the month of May, don't come out of the house because that is when they gather nuts." Ralph says he wants to eat before he drinks because he wants to eat on a full stomach. Ed: "Is you do that, then the bars will be closed." Ed wants a banana split. Ralph says that he will embarrass him by eating a banana split, so he asks him to change his order. Typical Ralph. Ed: "But, I want one." Ralph: "All right, embarrass yourself." Ralph calls the waiter and asks for a coup deglaze avec chandelier. Waiter: "All right. TWO banana splits." Ralph just embarrassed himself. A cop comes by and asks them if they want tickets to the Gendarme's Ball that is in four weeks. Ed says that they won't be here by that time and says no. Ralph says they will buy the tickets even though they won't be here because the ticket money is going to be used for charity. How did he know that? Ralph buys 15 of them and the cop and café owner is upset when the money they have gotten from those two is counterfeit. The cops arrest Ralph & Ed and take them to jail.
In jail, Ed imitates James Cagney. Ralph is upset because they speak English and the police don't and no one knows that they are there. Ed suggests that they stay put. Ed notices something written on the wall that says: "Let me out. Count of Monte Crisco." Ralph is sitting on an unmade bed and much to his dismay, Ed tries to make it. Ed irritates Ralph more by singing "Moon River." Ralph is upset at Pierre and Francois and wants to kill them. Ed says he knew they were crooks because he's the President of the Dick Tracy Crime Stoppers." Ralph says that people are coming for Ed with a net. Ed suggests breaking out. He saw Bruce Cabot do it in a motion picture. Ralph says that just because it happened once, it can't happen again. Ed: "Sure, it can. They remade the same picture 10 years later." The crowd claps because almost 10 years prior, the original Honeymooners sketches were made. Bruce Cabot and Primo Cabera are in jail and Primo's character acts like he's sick. The prison guard walks in and Bruce clobbers him while he's checking on Primo. Ralph & Ed try to do the same thing but Ed can't bring himself to hit the guard and when he does, he misses and hits Ralph. The girls come in. They are arrested for giving counterfeit money too. Trixie: "I have never been so humiliated. Being picked up like… I don't know who I am." She cries. This is the first time I have seen Jean Kean cry. Alice is fed up this time. They sing: "So Upset." After that, Myron Gregory from the American Embassy comes in and tells them that he's told everything to the proper authorities informs them that they are free to leave (when Alice was arrested, she called the embassy.) The Nortons leave. But Alice & Ralph stay for a while and Ralph literally sings the praises of Alice. Alice hugs him and forgives him.
The next day, at the La Dome, the Kramdens & Nortons are having some champagne. They want to enjoy their last day in Paris. Ralph & Ed then see Pierre and Francois come by with the suitcase full of phony money and nab them. They see a cop and Pierre claims that he will confess everything. Ralph, being that he doesn't know French and the cop doesn't know English, allows him too. Francois then lies to the cop about Ralph & Ed being counterfeiters and the cop puts Ralph & Ed in jail.
At the curtain call, Jackie claims that he had a slight sore throat when he was doing this episode and says for the first time in these episodes that the Miami Beach crowds are the best. He thanks the writers of the show and the songs. He then introduces some of the cast and says good night.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.