Mama to Eunice: You’re smart as a whip; not like dimwit Ellen.

Vinton to Mama: Maybe you’re right, mama. I think I will move out and find me a job and be a man for once. I didn’t like that basement anyhow. Me and Naomi didn’t do anything in it.

Mama to Ellen: why can’t you be more like Eunice!

Mama to Vinton: You’re my favorite child, Vinton. You’re extravagant, smart, educated, unlike Eunice and Ellen.

Mama to Vinton: son, you’re the brightest! I think you should apply for Jeopardy.

Mama to Vinton: Vint, you and Naomi make a very cute and sexy couple and I’m not being sarcastic.

Iola: I’m sick of making crafts from toilet paper rolls and string!

Bubba: I think I’m in love with Ms. Boylen. Her handicrafts and homemade gifts are very interesting and delightful and colorful.

Vinton to Skeeter: I’m leaving you for that hottie Iola. Her toilet paper crafts drive me wild.

Mama to Iola: Iola, I just love your handcrafts, especially the sparkling tissue box.

Mama to Bubba: I love it when you get drunk. Do it more!

Naomi: God, I hate my checking job at supermarket. I don’t get any money.

Mama to Ellen: Gosh darn it Ellen, why can’t you be more like Eunice!

Mama: Vinton, you are the ideal son. And the smartest person I've ever known.

mama hey vint where the hell are my two grandkids buzz and sonja

Iola: I hate making crafts out of toilet paper rolls.

bubba grandma i was thinking can the keek move in im sure she be no problem at all

Thelma to Ellen: why can’t you be more like Eunice?

Thelma: "I'm going to do something to curb my Irish temper."