Ozzie: I’m sick of ice cream! Just give me a glass of water for dessert.

Wally: No, thank you, Mrs. Nelson (to seconds).

Ozzie: Harriet, can we skip watching Ricky debut a new song just this once?

Harriet: Ozzie, I don't even have a recipe for toll house cookies.

Ginger to Wally: I just love it when you screw up, Snookie Ookums!

Rick: I'm not singing a song tonight.

Wally: Hey Rick, you wanna borrow a couple of dollars from me?

Ginger: Wally's too good for me!

Joe Randolph to Ozzie: Let’s go to a fancy steak house and get the works, I’ll treat!

Wally: No cards for me. I gotta study!

Professor Paterson: No homework ever again!

Wally: No more chocolate malts for me!

Clara: I will NEVER act dizzy again!

Harriet: Ozzie, I told you I never even think about what the boys are doing. Tell Dave to go anywhere he wants on his motorcycle.

Harriet to Wally: NO! You can’t stay for dinner, you big overweight freeloader!

Ozzie: No, Harriet, I don't like Quaker oats. I'd like fried eggs and bacon.

David’s Fraternity: Let’s NOT hit our fathers up to help us build a swimming pool.

Fraternity brother: So what if that old tunnel goes to the sorority house? Let's fill it in.

The Salesgirl from the Emporium Wally & Rick are sweet on: I just love goof offs and lousy salesmen.

Frat. brother: Yep, Dave, we know we're going broke. We'll do anything you say to balance the budget.

Dean to Rick’s Frat: Just wanted you fellows to know that your brother Wally is the school valedictorian!

Ozzie: Thorny, just because we got caught walking around downtown in our pyjamas and chased by a large crowd, NONE of our friends will ever think it was us since there were no pictures of it in the newspaper story!

Florist’s wife in Orchid and Violets ep: That gentleman Ozzie is one of the sharpest dressers I’ve ever seen!

Jack - Wally, your choc. malt is on the house.

Ozzie to Darby: Tutti Frutti ice cream really sucks! Let’s just get a gallon of good old-fashioned vanilla.

Mr. Kelly: Take the week off Dave—it’s on me!

Ricky to Kris: How can we have just gotten married when I don't remember us dating or even meeting?

Wally: I couldn’t eat another thing Mrs. Nelson!

Ozzie: I'm late for work!

Ozzie: Ice cream sucks. More Brussels Sprouts please Harriet!

Harriet: Ozzie, the soda shop didn't have any tutti frutti ice cream but they DID have ten gallons of Brussels sprouts ice cream so now you have no excuse for skipping vegetables at dinner!

Ricky: I’m tired of dating girls-I’m going to join a monastery.

Ricky: I'm converting to Hinduism so I can have as many wives as I want instead of just settling down with one girl!

Joe Randolph: Hey Oz here’s $6,000 to repay you for all the meals I’ve mooched of us you.

Wally: Here's a $500 gift certificate at that fancy French restaurant to pay back you and Mr. Nelson for all the grub I mooched at your place- last week!

Clara: Joe honey I love they way you conserve money. I’m delighted to have frank and beans for the eight time this week!

Wally: just water for me today—I’m fasting!

Rick, to Kris: I want a divorce.

Wally: I’m not hungry I’ll just pick….

Wally: No poker for me, fellas. I gotta study.

Ginger: My guy Wally is the sweetest most reliable bf ever!

Jack: Wally, have a banana split, on the house.

June to teenage girl in David And The Teenager: stay away from my guy, you little tramp!

Ozzie: Harriet, please stop buying that tutti frutti ice cream. I just don't like it.

David to Mr. Kelly: Take this job and shove it!

Dean Hopkins to Rick’s Frat: You are the most mature and studious boys I know; I NEVER have to read the riot act to you-esp. Wally!

David: I'm married and have a legit job in a law office- so why am I STILL hanging out at my old frat house eight years after I started college?

David: Wally, your “Ostrich” case is the biggest and most prestigious case Dobson & Kelly has ever had. Thanks for bringing it to us!

Wally: My folks have paid my tuition for the last eight years to keep me out of their hair, off the streets and they somehow worked it out being a huge tax write off!

Harriet to Ozzie: Cook your own damn dinner you lazy oaf!

David: Mom, your homemade cookies are lousy!

Ricky: Wally would never mooch of us! Whaddaya saying!

David: Ricky, thanks for showing me what a blah person I was by painting your half of the room with those kooky patterns.

Harriet to Ozzie in Wally’s Traffic Ticket: Of course you can go down all by yourself a d interview that nubile young stripper—I don’t mind!