Maurice to Darrin: Darrin, marrying you is the smartest thing my daughter ever did!

Gladys: Oh, Abner. Watching you play the cello and practice golf puts into cups is way more fun and interesting than trying to find out what's going on at the Stephenses!

Gladys to Sam: I will never spy on you again!

Samantha to Gladys: Drop by any time! My family's life is an open book!

Gladys: I think the Stephens are the most normal family EVER!