Frank Gannucci
06-26-2020, 07:41 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Mad DogS & Englishmen" & "Framed In Spain":
Episode #165
TV: In 2019, Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: On disc 14 of the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Curse of The Kramdens,” “Framed In Spain”, “I Remember Au Mau” & “Manager of The Baseball Team” (’57 version).
Air Date: Sat. 3/9/57
"Mad Dogs & Englishmen":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Bulova is the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Jack Lescoulie says that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in London.
The June Taylor Dancers dance and sing: “Hurry On Down, Come To London Town" at a London hotel. The girls came in from shopping. They are tired. The boys come in. Ed is wearing a LOUD jacket. They went to an antique shop and bought a 400-year-old shining armor statue. The girls hate the statue. Ralph says that he will use it for an ashtray. Ha! Ralph: “I will only have to empty it once a month to get rid of the ashes.” Ralph asks the Ed to help the bellboy to take it up his room. They want to go to a museum. They ask a British man but he answers in garbled British. Man: "You can't miss it." They don't understand. Ralph asks the front desk clerk who tells them in English. But he tells them that in England, everything stops at 4p for tea. The Kramdens and Nortons then sing: “Everything Stops For Tea.” They then go into the tea room for tea.
A man comes and goes to use the house phone. He tries to call Mr. Kramden in a phone booth. They are not in their room. So, he asks the operator to call Ralph. That guy calls, but he gets the owner. The owner gets the bellboy to tell Ralph that he has a call. The British man who Ralph spoke too earlier comes back in and complains how Americans talk. Ralph comes in comes in with Ed. Ralph gets on one of the phones (somehow not knowing that the guy who wants to talk to him is right near him and vice-versa). Hilarious complications ensue. Finally they find out what’s going on. Mr. Louis approaches Ralph on doing a Flaky-Wakey commercial. Ralph agrees. Ralph thinks it will be a great idea if they do the commercial just like they do in America. Ralph will write, produce and direct the commercial. They leave. The dancers break out and sing: “Hurry On Down, Come To London Town."
At the hotel room, Ed comes in with the ingredients. The girls come in ready to do the commercial. Alice: "Where's the genius (Ralph)?" Ralph comes out with the script. Ralph: "The scene takes place at Lord Chumley Farmingay, second Earl of Brokenchild." He explains the commercial. Ralph is Lord Chumley. Ralph (to Alice): "You are Lady Penelope Farmingay, duchess of Brokenchild. You are supposed to say: 'Good Morning! My you are fit' and then I say: 'Blimey, you look lovely.'" Alice doesn't know what Blimey means. Ralph mentions some of his lines. Trixie is a maid. Trixie: "I'm not the maid type." Ed: "Yeah, haven't you got the part of an English Bulldog?" Ralph further explains what the commercial will be. Ed’s role is the butler. All the butler says: “Breakfast is served.” Then Ed has to get off the stage. Ed says that he has fallen since he is apparently a war veteran. (In fact, Art Carney was a war veteran having served in World War II.) They rehearse. Alice: "My you are fat." Ralph (yells): "THAT'S FIT!" They continue to rehearse as Ralph is still angry. Also, Ralph says to Ed that he doesn’t care how Ed plays the butler. So Ed tries to ad-lib lines in a Churchill-like voice. Ralph isn't amused. Ed says that he wrote a jingle. They go back to the moment just before the butler is supposed to come out. Ed ad-libs lines again much to Ralph’s chagrin. Ralph insists that we will do the commercial the way he wants it. Ed replies with the fact that if that is the case, Ralph can’t use the jingle that he wrote. Ralph explains that he thought it would be a good idea if Ed wrote a jingle. So, they go to the piano and Ed does his little preparing job. He warms up on the piano by playing "Suwannee River". What a surprise. Ralph stops him. Ed then plays the song. Ed's song's lyrics include everyone singing: “Oh boy/gee whiz/that’s right.” The audience applauds. Trixie says that that would be the best part of the commercial. Ralph needs the song needs changes. They continue to go through the commercial which of course includes the fact that Flaky-Wakey cereal boxes include toys. After that, Ralph would taste the cereal and (with a priceless look on his face) would say: “Yum-yum!” They go rehearse the commercial. Ed says: "Quiet on the set" like a director. Ralph kicks Ed out.
At the night of the commercial, everyone complains that it's going to be an all-Ralph commercial. Ralph is all-nervous. Ed says that he is now glad that he has a small part because he doesn’t have the photographic mind that Ralph as. (Ironically, Jackie, of course, had a photographic mind.) Ed tries to get him to remember his lines in a somewhat same fashion as in "Ralph's Sweet Tooth." Ralph is even more nervous. The commercial is going to take place during the Gaylord Farquoix Show. The show opens up just like The Jackie Gleason Show in the '50s apparently opened up originally with the English Announcer plugging the sponsor: Flaky Wakeys. It even has the same curtain I believe that was used on the Jackie Gleason Show at times. The English The girls introduce the stars of the show much like the Gleason Girls introduced the stars in the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show in the '50s. Only thing is one of the English girls is old compared to the other ones (as well as the real Gleason girls.) The girls come out and sing and dance to a song I think is called: “Daddy Loves A Great Big Ball.” The audience applauds during this. Gaylord Farquoix comes out (and he does look somewhat like Jackie Gleason as far as the hair goes) and introduces his orchestra leader Sir Raymond Block (I don’t think that was the real Ray Block.)
They introduce us to the commercial. Ralph bombs as everyone helps him out. This is hilarious especially when Ed accidentally pushes the piano of the stairs. They have plugged the "Flaky-Wakey" product badly.
Curtain call time. Jackie: “As usual, Ralph Kramden fixed everything.” He said that he is going on a little vacation “next week” but “next week” they are going to have “Little Miss Baby Show Business.” The “Miss” is Kate Smith. Along with Kate are Jonathan Winters, Bobby Vann, Gene Sheldon, Pat Rooney & Bill Thompson. Jackie says good night to everyone.
The announcer then plugs Old Gold Cigarettes and asks the audience to tune in next week as Old Gold presents the Jackie Gleason Show and mentions the stars that Jackie mentioned. The graphics used to display the stars names is very primitive. Because the amount of time it took the announcer to read the names, he hurries as he tries to read EVERY credit line as well as names that weren’t on the credit roll as The Glee Girls all come out one by one. (One of the writers not mentioned in the credit roll was Sid Zelinka.)
Episode #166
TV: In 2019, Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: In disc 14 of the Lost Episides DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Mad Dogs & Englishmen”, “Curse of The Kramdens”, “I Remember Au Mau” & “Manager of The Baseball Team” (’57 version.)
Lost Episode Title: "Framed In Spain."
Color Episode Title: "You're In The Picture."
Air Date: Sat. 4/6/57
"Framed In Spain":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. No sponsor plug this time. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. All the Glea Girls are dressed like Spanish girls. Jack Lescoulie comes out. Jack says that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in Spain.
The June Taylor Dancers are dancing and singing to “Every Smile, Every Glance.” After that, they leave. An evil woman named Rosetta and an evil man (played by George Petrie) cook up a scheme. They leave. The Kramdens & Nortons are shown in Madrid, Spain. Ralph says that one place in Europe is better than the other. They all sing a song that I think is entitled “In Spain, I Feel Like A Hero.” When the girls sing, Ralph dances for a little bit in the background. They begin taking pictures. Ralph takes home movies of the Nortons & Alice. Ralph wants to have a theme for his home movie, so he asks Norton to act surprised when he sees the girls so he can take a picture. Ed acts surprised in typical Ed Norton fashion which gets Ralph upset. Ralph thinks he will do better in the home movie so people will know what country he is in. He grabs a bullfighter's hat and puts it on the wrong way. Ed is going to carry a pair of bullhorns and act like a bull and when that happens, Ralph will act as a matador. Ralph holds the cape in front of Ed and act like he's saying: 'Toro! Toro!' Ed charges and misses the cape when Ralph jumps out of the way. Ed says that they need to do that again since a matador just wiggles his hips to move out of the way. Ed charges again and misses when Ralph wiggles his hips but "gores" Ralph anyway for the fun of it. Ralph isn't amused. A man comes out and says that this is not a playground and grabs the cape and horn from them. Ralph says that they were looking to buy those souvenirs. The evil man emerges in the background and sees his victim (Ralph). The girls go inside to do some shopping. The evil man approaches Ralph and asks if he wants his picture taken. Ralph says no because they have their own camera. Alice comes out for money and Ralph gives it to her. The evil man sees how much money Ralph has and leaves. Alice says she wants to get something for Aunt Hazel. Alice: “She has been good to us. She gave us a wedding present.” Ralph: “A silver kumquat fork.” Ralph gives her the money (which I am sure is fake) anyway. Ed goes in. The evil woman comes by says to him that a man is following her and asks Ralph to be her boyfriend so he will go away. The "boyfriend" comes, so the woman forces Ralph to engage her in a kiss. Ralph isn't happy since if Alice saw him kissing her, she will get mad. Ralph: "Wives are always misunderstanding things." She leaves. The Nortons & Alice get out. Alice: "That looks like lipstick on your face." Ralph: "I cut myself shaving." Alice: "And now it is starting to bleed?" Ralph: "All right. I got tired blood and it just came to the surface.” They leave for the hotel. The dancers come out and sing a reprise version of: “Every Smile, Every Glance.”
At the hotel room in which apparently the Kramdens and Nortons are sharing, Ralph comes out dressed as a Cabrello. Ed comes out dressed as dressed as a matador. They all are going to a Spanish fiesta. A knock on the door is heard. It's the man who asked if he could get a picture of Ralph. The man shows the picture of Ralph getting kissed by that woman. The man charges $500 Ralph to have the picture. Man: "Pay me the $500 or I would give it to your wife." Ed: "Let him give the picture to Alice then you can have the picture for nothing." Ralph then rips up the picture, thinking that will stop his plot. He asks him to get out. Man: "I have 16 more copies plus a negative." The man wants to talk business with Ralph. Ralph asks for more time. The man says that he can have until 10am tomorrow and leaves. Man: "Asta-manyana (sp?)." Ralph says he will never pay a cent. Ralph hopes that the woman isn't married because he thinks that the woman will blackmail her too. Ralph thinks about telling Alice the truth. Ed advises against that. The boys then sing a song that I think is entitled: "It Doesn't Pay to Tell Your Wife The Truth." After that, Alice comes out and Ed goes to see Trixie. Alice is dressed like a very pretty senorita. Ralph says to Alice that a situation in which a bellboy was involved in. It's the same situation that he's in only that he substitutes himself with a bellboy. He asks Alice if she was the bellboy's wife would she believe the waiter's story. Alice: "If she does, she's a bigger fool than I am." Ralph: "I'm dead." The Nortons come out. Trixie is also dressed as a senorita. The girls leave. Ed suggests to Ralph that he should grow a beard and a mustache. Ed: “That way Alice may not recognize you in the picture.” Ralph thinks that Ed should go to a nut house. They leave.
The next day, the boys are back in the hotel room. It is almost 10a and he doesn’t have the money. Ralph is worried about his marriage falling apart. Ralph: “You can be calm. Your marriage may go on forever.” Ed: “You don’t have to get nasty about it.” Ralph goes inside to put a cold towel on his head to make him feel better. A knock on the door is heard. Ed answers it and sees nobody. Ed: “The place is haunted like that place that we went to in Ireland.” A knock on the door is heard again. Ed answers it. It’s the evil woman. Evil woman: “I wish to see senor Kramden.” How did she know Ralph’s name? Ed recognizes her as the girl in the picture with Ralph. Ed goes to get Ralph. Ralph is glad to see her. Ralph explains the whole situation. The evil woman explains that she will tell Alice on how Ralph fell in love with her and flirted with her on the street etc. Ralph then realizes that she is in on the blackmail. The woman says that Ralph should give him $500, so she will keep quiet. Ralph says he will get the money from Alice. Woman: "I will give you a half hour." Ralph tries to escort her out but he sees Alice in the hallway. Ralph hides the woman in the closet. The boys try desperately to hide the woman from Alice. Alice comes in. Ed: “We didn’t do anything. We didn’t do anything.” Ralph: “Oh, shut up.” Alice wants to hang up her coat herself. Ralph, claiming that he wants to be a gentleman, says he will hang up the coat himself. Alice: "All right, you can get my slippers." Ralph: "Get your own slippers." Gee, what a gentleman huh? Trixie comes in. Ed claims that there was a phone call and someone wants to see Trixie in the lobby. Trixie leaves. Alice says she can’t find her slippers so Ralph tries to help out. Ed gets the woman out and tries to bring her downstairs but he sees Trixie and puts the woman back in the closet. Alice says that she put her slippers in the closet. Ralph (yells): “IN THE CLOSET?” (normally): “Let’s check every place in here first before we check the closet.” Ed gets the woman out and hides her in back of the curtains. Ed tries to secretly tell Ralph that no one is in there and he will go look for the slippers. Ed: "It is too dark in here." Ralph tries to make it brighter by going to open the drapes. Ralph opens up the drapes, sees the woman, and immediately closes the drapes without success. So, she asks her to hide behind the couch. Ed finds the slippers and sees the evil woman. Ed: "Oh, there she is." Alice doesn't know what Ed is talking about. Ralph says that Ed meant Alice when he said: "Oh there she is." Ralph asks for a measly $500. Alice wants to know why, but Ralph won't say the real reason. Alice says no and goes into the bedroom. Ralph asks the woman to go downstairs for five minutes. She complies and Ralph tries to go in to get the dough. Ed tries to escort the lady out. Ed sees Trixie, so the woman is again hidden in the closet. Trixie: "There was no one down there that wanted to see me." Ed: "I must be losing my mind." Trixie: "How could you lose something you never had?" Ha.
Alice comes out with the answer of no. A knock on the door is heard. Ralph, thinking that it is the woman, hides Alice in the closet but not before he says to Alice that the Mad Killer of Madrid may be on the opposite side of the door. Alice finally sees the woman. Ralph says that she is a blackmailer. Alice doesn't believe him. The woman gives Alice the hank-lanky photo. Alice: "Don't ever speak to me again Ralph." Ralph gets the door and it's a policeman. The policeman identifies the woman as Rosita. He tells the whole story about her and that her accomplice (revealed as Miguel) revealed everything. Alice finally got told the truth. Ralph is all happy. Ralph: “So you doubted me, huh?” What about all the times Ralph doubted Alice? Alice: “I am sorry. Will you forgive me?” Ralph: “Let me enjoy it for a while.” Ralph eventually forgives her. This is a reversal of the traditional Kramden antics, isn't it? Ralph kisses Alice. Ed comes out. Ed: “When you will ever learn? Alice is going to catch you again.” Alice: “Out! Out! Out!” Alice kicking Ed out? It happened. Ed leaves. The Kramdens sing: “Anything You Say Is True.”
On the streets of Madrid, the spotlight focuses on some of the June Taylor dancers as they dance to a Spanish song. All the lights come on during the number. After the number is over, the Kramdens and Nortons come out. The girls and Ed do some shopping. A woman comes by with her son. She holds a camera at Ralph. Ralph gets paranoid and scrams. The woman now wonders who will take a picture of her and her son. They leave as the June Taylor Dancers sing: “Every Smile, Every Glance.”
At the curtain call, Jackie thanks Ray Bloch, June Taylor, Lyn Duddy, Jerry Bressler, Marvin Marx, Walter Stone and Herb Finn. Jackie introduces the main cast. The announcer says that “next week” Old Gold Cigarettes will sponsor the first half of the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glea Girls (most dressed as senoritas come out one by one as the announcer reads the names and descriptions off all the people that weren’t on the credit roll.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #165
TV: In 2019, Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: On disc 14 of the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Curse of The Kramdens,” “Framed In Spain”, “I Remember Au Mau” & “Manager of The Baseball Team” (’57 version).
Air Date: Sat. 3/9/57
"Mad Dogs & Englishmen":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Bulova is the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Jack Lescoulie says that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in London.
The June Taylor Dancers dance and sing: “Hurry On Down, Come To London Town" at a London hotel. The girls came in from shopping. They are tired. The boys come in. Ed is wearing a LOUD jacket. They went to an antique shop and bought a 400-year-old shining armor statue. The girls hate the statue. Ralph says that he will use it for an ashtray. Ha! Ralph: “I will only have to empty it once a month to get rid of the ashes.” Ralph asks the Ed to help the bellboy to take it up his room. They want to go to a museum. They ask a British man but he answers in garbled British. Man: "You can't miss it." They don't understand. Ralph asks the front desk clerk who tells them in English. But he tells them that in England, everything stops at 4p for tea. The Kramdens and Nortons then sing: “Everything Stops For Tea.” They then go into the tea room for tea.
A man comes and goes to use the house phone. He tries to call Mr. Kramden in a phone booth. They are not in their room. So, he asks the operator to call Ralph. That guy calls, but he gets the owner. The owner gets the bellboy to tell Ralph that he has a call. The British man who Ralph spoke too earlier comes back in and complains how Americans talk. Ralph comes in comes in with Ed. Ralph gets on one of the phones (somehow not knowing that the guy who wants to talk to him is right near him and vice-versa). Hilarious complications ensue. Finally they find out what’s going on. Mr. Louis approaches Ralph on doing a Flaky-Wakey commercial. Ralph agrees. Ralph thinks it will be a great idea if they do the commercial just like they do in America. Ralph will write, produce and direct the commercial. They leave. The dancers break out and sing: “Hurry On Down, Come To London Town."
At the hotel room, Ed comes in with the ingredients. The girls come in ready to do the commercial. Alice: "Where's the genius (Ralph)?" Ralph comes out with the script. Ralph: "The scene takes place at Lord Chumley Farmingay, second Earl of Brokenchild." He explains the commercial. Ralph is Lord Chumley. Ralph (to Alice): "You are Lady Penelope Farmingay, duchess of Brokenchild. You are supposed to say: 'Good Morning! My you are fit' and then I say: 'Blimey, you look lovely.'" Alice doesn't know what Blimey means. Ralph mentions some of his lines. Trixie is a maid. Trixie: "I'm not the maid type." Ed: "Yeah, haven't you got the part of an English Bulldog?" Ralph further explains what the commercial will be. Ed’s role is the butler. All the butler says: “Breakfast is served.” Then Ed has to get off the stage. Ed says that he has fallen since he is apparently a war veteran. (In fact, Art Carney was a war veteran having served in World War II.) They rehearse. Alice: "My you are fat." Ralph (yells): "THAT'S FIT!" They continue to rehearse as Ralph is still angry. Also, Ralph says to Ed that he doesn’t care how Ed plays the butler. So Ed tries to ad-lib lines in a Churchill-like voice. Ralph isn't amused. Ed says that he wrote a jingle. They go back to the moment just before the butler is supposed to come out. Ed ad-libs lines again much to Ralph’s chagrin. Ralph insists that we will do the commercial the way he wants it. Ed replies with the fact that if that is the case, Ralph can’t use the jingle that he wrote. Ralph explains that he thought it would be a good idea if Ed wrote a jingle. So, they go to the piano and Ed does his little preparing job. He warms up on the piano by playing "Suwannee River". What a surprise. Ralph stops him. Ed then plays the song. Ed's song's lyrics include everyone singing: “Oh boy/gee whiz/that’s right.” The audience applauds. Trixie says that that would be the best part of the commercial. Ralph needs the song needs changes. They continue to go through the commercial which of course includes the fact that Flaky-Wakey cereal boxes include toys. After that, Ralph would taste the cereal and (with a priceless look on his face) would say: “Yum-yum!” They go rehearse the commercial. Ed says: "Quiet on the set" like a director. Ralph kicks Ed out.
At the night of the commercial, everyone complains that it's going to be an all-Ralph commercial. Ralph is all-nervous. Ed says that he is now glad that he has a small part because he doesn’t have the photographic mind that Ralph as. (Ironically, Jackie, of course, had a photographic mind.) Ed tries to get him to remember his lines in a somewhat same fashion as in "Ralph's Sweet Tooth." Ralph is even more nervous. The commercial is going to take place during the Gaylord Farquoix Show. The show opens up just like The Jackie Gleason Show in the '50s apparently opened up originally with the English Announcer plugging the sponsor: Flaky Wakeys. It even has the same curtain I believe that was used on the Jackie Gleason Show at times. The English The girls introduce the stars of the show much like the Gleason Girls introduced the stars in the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show in the '50s. Only thing is one of the English girls is old compared to the other ones (as well as the real Gleason girls.) The girls come out and sing and dance to a song I think is called: “Daddy Loves A Great Big Ball.” The audience applauds during this. Gaylord Farquoix comes out (and he does look somewhat like Jackie Gleason as far as the hair goes) and introduces his orchestra leader Sir Raymond Block (I don’t think that was the real Ray Block.)
They introduce us to the commercial. Ralph bombs as everyone helps him out. This is hilarious especially when Ed accidentally pushes the piano of the stairs. They have plugged the "Flaky-Wakey" product badly.
Curtain call time. Jackie: “As usual, Ralph Kramden fixed everything.” He said that he is going on a little vacation “next week” but “next week” they are going to have “Little Miss Baby Show Business.” The “Miss” is Kate Smith. Along with Kate are Jonathan Winters, Bobby Vann, Gene Sheldon, Pat Rooney & Bill Thompson. Jackie says good night to everyone.
The announcer then plugs Old Gold Cigarettes and asks the audience to tune in next week as Old Gold presents the Jackie Gleason Show and mentions the stars that Jackie mentioned. The graphics used to display the stars names is very primitive. Because the amount of time it took the announcer to read the names, he hurries as he tries to read EVERY credit line as well as names that weren’t on the credit roll as The Glee Girls all come out one by one. (One of the writers not mentioned in the credit roll was Sid Zelinka.)
Episode #166
TV: In 2019, Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: In disc 14 of the Lost Episides DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Mad Dogs & Englishmen”, “Curse of The Kramdens”, “I Remember Au Mau” & “Manager of The Baseball Team” (’57 version.)
Lost Episode Title: "Framed In Spain."
Color Episode Title: "You're In The Picture."
Air Date: Sat. 4/6/57
"Framed In Spain":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. No sponsor plug this time. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. All the Glea Girls are dressed like Spanish girls. Jack Lescoulie comes out. Jack says that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in Spain.
The June Taylor Dancers are dancing and singing to “Every Smile, Every Glance.” After that, they leave. An evil woman named Rosetta and an evil man (played by George Petrie) cook up a scheme. They leave. The Kramdens & Nortons are shown in Madrid, Spain. Ralph says that one place in Europe is better than the other. They all sing a song that I think is entitled “In Spain, I Feel Like A Hero.” When the girls sing, Ralph dances for a little bit in the background. They begin taking pictures. Ralph takes home movies of the Nortons & Alice. Ralph wants to have a theme for his home movie, so he asks Norton to act surprised when he sees the girls so he can take a picture. Ed acts surprised in typical Ed Norton fashion which gets Ralph upset. Ralph thinks he will do better in the home movie so people will know what country he is in. He grabs a bullfighter's hat and puts it on the wrong way. Ed is going to carry a pair of bullhorns and act like a bull and when that happens, Ralph will act as a matador. Ralph holds the cape in front of Ed and act like he's saying: 'Toro! Toro!' Ed charges and misses the cape when Ralph jumps out of the way. Ed says that they need to do that again since a matador just wiggles his hips to move out of the way. Ed charges again and misses when Ralph wiggles his hips but "gores" Ralph anyway for the fun of it. Ralph isn't amused. A man comes out and says that this is not a playground and grabs the cape and horn from them. Ralph says that they were looking to buy those souvenirs. The evil man emerges in the background and sees his victim (Ralph). The girls go inside to do some shopping. The evil man approaches Ralph and asks if he wants his picture taken. Ralph says no because they have their own camera. Alice comes out for money and Ralph gives it to her. The evil man sees how much money Ralph has and leaves. Alice says she wants to get something for Aunt Hazel. Alice: “She has been good to us. She gave us a wedding present.” Ralph: “A silver kumquat fork.” Ralph gives her the money (which I am sure is fake) anyway. Ed goes in. The evil woman comes by says to him that a man is following her and asks Ralph to be her boyfriend so he will go away. The "boyfriend" comes, so the woman forces Ralph to engage her in a kiss. Ralph isn't happy since if Alice saw him kissing her, she will get mad. Ralph: "Wives are always misunderstanding things." She leaves. The Nortons & Alice get out. Alice: "That looks like lipstick on your face." Ralph: "I cut myself shaving." Alice: "And now it is starting to bleed?" Ralph: "All right. I got tired blood and it just came to the surface.” They leave for the hotel. The dancers come out and sing a reprise version of: “Every Smile, Every Glance.”
At the hotel room in which apparently the Kramdens and Nortons are sharing, Ralph comes out dressed as a Cabrello. Ed comes out dressed as dressed as a matador. They all are going to a Spanish fiesta. A knock on the door is heard. It's the man who asked if he could get a picture of Ralph. The man shows the picture of Ralph getting kissed by that woman. The man charges $500 Ralph to have the picture. Man: "Pay me the $500 or I would give it to your wife." Ed: "Let him give the picture to Alice then you can have the picture for nothing." Ralph then rips up the picture, thinking that will stop his plot. He asks him to get out. Man: "I have 16 more copies plus a negative." The man wants to talk business with Ralph. Ralph asks for more time. The man says that he can have until 10am tomorrow and leaves. Man: "Asta-manyana (sp?)." Ralph says he will never pay a cent. Ralph hopes that the woman isn't married because he thinks that the woman will blackmail her too. Ralph thinks about telling Alice the truth. Ed advises against that. The boys then sing a song that I think is entitled: "It Doesn't Pay to Tell Your Wife The Truth." After that, Alice comes out and Ed goes to see Trixie. Alice is dressed like a very pretty senorita. Ralph says to Alice that a situation in which a bellboy was involved in. It's the same situation that he's in only that he substitutes himself with a bellboy. He asks Alice if she was the bellboy's wife would she believe the waiter's story. Alice: "If she does, she's a bigger fool than I am." Ralph: "I'm dead." The Nortons come out. Trixie is also dressed as a senorita. The girls leave. Ed suggests to Ralph that he should grow a beard and a mustache. Ed: “That way Alice may not recognize you in the picture.” Ralph thinks that Ed should go to a nut house. They leave.
The next day, the boys are back in the hotel room. It is almost 10a and he doesn’t have the money. Ralph is worried about his marriage falling apart. Ralph: “You can be calm. Your marriage may go on forever.” Ed: “You don’t have to get nasty about it.” Ralph goes inside to put a cold towel on his head to make him feel better. A knock on the door is heard. Ed answers it and sees nobody. Ed: “The place is haunted like that place that we went to in Ireland.” A knock on the door is heard again. Ed answers it. It’s the evil woman. Evil woman: “I wish to see senor Kramden.” How did she know Ralph’s name? Ed recognizes her as the girl in the picture with Ralph. Ed goes to get Ralph. Ralph is glad to see her. Ralph explains the whole situation. The evil woman explains that she will tell Alice on how Ralph fell in love with her and flirted with her on the street etc. Ralph then realizes that she is in on the blackmail. The woman says that Ralph should give him $500, so she will keep quiet. Ralph says he will get the money from Alice. Woman: "I will give you a half hour." Ralph tries to escort her out but he sees Alice in the hallway. Ralph hides the woman in the closet. The boys try desperately to hide the woman from Alice. Alice comes in. Ed: “We didn’t do anything. We didn’t do anything.” Ralph: “Oh, shut up.” Alice wants to hang up her coat herself. Ralph, claiming that he wants to be a gentleman, says he will hang up the coat himself. Alice: "All right, you can get my slippers." Ralph: "Get your own slippers." Gee, what a gentleman huh? Trixie comes in. Ed claims that there was a phone call and someone wants to see Trixie in the lobby. Trixie leaves. Alice says she can’t find her slippers so Ralph tries to help out. Ed gets the woman out and tries to bring her downstairs but he sees Trixie and puts the woman back in the closet. Alice says that she put her slippers in the closet. Ralph (yells): “IN THE CLOSET?” (normally): “Let’s check every place in here first before we check the closet.” Ed gets the woman out and hides her in back of the curtains. Ed tries to secretly tell Ralph that no one is in there and he will go look for the slippers. Ed: "It is too dark in here." Ralph tries to make it brighter by going to open the drapes. Ralph opens up the drapes, sees the woman, and immediately closes the drapes without success. So, she asks her to hide behind the couch. Ed finds the slippers and sees the evil woman. Ed: "Oh, there she is." Alice doesn't know what Ed is talking about. Ralph says that Ed meant Alice when he said: "Oh there she is." Ralph asks for a measly $500. Alice wants to know why, but Ralph won't say the real reason. Alice says no and goes into the bedroom. Ralph asks the woman to go downstairs for five minutes. She complies and Ralph tries to go in to get the dough. Ed tries to escort the lady out. Ed sees Trixie, so the woman is again hidden in the closet. Trixie: "There was no one down there that wanted to see me." Ed: "I must be losing my mind." Trixie: "How could you lose something you never had?" Ha.
Alice comes out with the answer of no. A knock on the door is heard. Ralph, thinking that it is the woman, hides Alice in the closet but not before he says to Alice that the Mad Killer of Madrid may be on the opposite side of the door. Alice finally sees the woman. Ralph says that she is a blackmailer. Alice doesn't believe him. The woman gives Alice the hank-lanky photo. Alice: "Don't ever speak to me again Ralph." Ralph gets the door and it's a policeman. The policeman identifies the woman as Rosita. He tells the whole story about her and that her accomplice (revealed as Miguel) revealed everything. Alice finally got told the truth. Ralph is all happy. Ralph: “So you doubted me, huh?” What about all the times Ralph doubted Alice? Alice: “I am sorry. Will you forgive me?” Ralph: “Let me enjoy it for a while.” Ralph eventually forgives her. This is a reversal of the traditional Kramden antics, isn't it? Ralph kisses Alice. Ed comes out. Ed: “When you will ever learn? Alice is going to catch you again.” Alice: “Out! Out! Out!” Alice kicking Ed out? It happened. Ed leaves. The Kramdens sing: “Anything You Say Is True.”
On the streets of Madrid, the spotlight focuses on some of the June Taylor dancers as they dance to a Spanish song. All the lights come on during the number. After the number is over, the Kramdens and Nortons come out. The girls and Ed do some shopping. A woman comes by with her son. She holds a camera at Ralph. Ralph gets paranoid and scrams. The woman now wonders who will take a picture of her and her son. They leave as the June Taylor Dancers sing: “Every Smile, Every Glance.”
At the curtain call, Jackie thanks Ray Bloch, June Taylor, Lyn Duddy, Jerry Bressler, Marvin Marx, Walter Stone and Herb Finn. Jackie introduces the main cast. The announcer says that “next week” Old Gold Cigarettes will sponsor the first half of the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glea Girls (most dressed as senoritas come out one by one as the announcer reads the names and descriptions off all the people that weren’t on the credit roll.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.