Frank Gannucci
06-12-2020, 07:49 AM
Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Plastered In Paris" & "Behind The Iron":
Episode #161
TV: In 2019, the Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: Attached to “Away We Go”, “Behind The Iron Curtain” & “When In Rome.”
Lost Episode Title: "Plastered In Paris."
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Poor People of Paris."
Air Date: Sat. 2/9/57
"Plastered In Paris":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Bulova is the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Martin Green is the guest star. Jack Lescoulie comes out and announces that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in France. Jack: “Gay Pariee has become even gayer.”
The storyline for this episode is very similar to an I Love Lucy episode entitled: “Paris, At Last.”
The episode opens up with a hotel butler (played by Martin Green) and maids (June Taylor Dancers) and other cleaners are singing: "The Americans Are Coming" in which some of the lyrics are: "they are very rich." Sure. Isn't a coincidence that when a TV family goes to a foreign language-speaking country, they always run into at least one person that speaks their language? I read somewhere that Martin Green in this episode had the very same role in the ’66 version. Only in that version, he suffered a very serious leg injury which required him to have that leg amputated. So, he did that number on a fake leg. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive. Butler: "On behalf of Belle France, we welcome you." Ralph: "On behalf of Brooklyn, we thank you again." The cleaners and maids leave. Ralph: “They remind me of the June Taylor Dancers in the States.” Ralph says that this hotel room is not what they are used to because it doesn't have the conveniences they got at home. Ralph: "We have a suite like this for the servants. We have a maid, a butler, a cook, a washer woman, a cleaning woman, a handy man." Butler: "Did you bring all of them with you?" Alice: "Yes, he did and I'm pleased to meet you." The butler leaves. The girls and Ed get ready to go sight-seeing Ralph calls downstairs and asks for carnations. A knock on the door is heard. Alice answers the door. The bellboys come in and make a crepe suzettes (French pancakes) and in order to do so, they have to start a fire on their little stove. Trixie comes in. Ralph comes in and thinks that the room is on fire and puts it out. Ed comes out. Alice explains that crepe suzettes are supposed to be on fire. Alice is upset. Ralph admits it. Ralph: “When you make a mistake, I don’t embarrass you. On the boat, they brought out the bowl of water with the lemon in it. Did you drink the water like everyone else? No. You played with the lemon.” Alice apologizes. A bellboy (played by George Petrie) comes in with the carnations. Ralph says that they have to exchange their American money for French Francs. They leave to go get ready to go to the bank. The bellboy calls Pierre. They plan on giving the boys counterfeit money. Ralph comes out. The bellboy says that he knows a “better” rate of exchange. Henri and his small assistant come in and give Ralph & Ed a “better” rate of exchange. The small assistant says in French (with the bellhop translating): "It's been a pleasure to give YOU the business." They boys tell the wives of their good fortune and they are happy. The girls sing: "Buy, Buy, Buy." Ralph can’t wait to spend the money. Ralph & Ed continue the song: “Buy, Buy, Buy.”
At a French café called Le Dome, the dancers are singing: "In Paris." Ralph & Ed order lunch. Ralph continues to badly speak French by saying to the owner that they want the best table. Ralph calls the waiter "Gargoyle." It is actually Garcon, I think. Ed says he may not speak French like Ralph, but he speaks a little Greek. He says "Stromberry." Ralph: "Norton, in the month of May, don't come out of the house because that is when they gather nuts." A cop comes by and asks them if they want tickets to the Gendarme's Ball that is in four weeks. Ed says that they won't be here by that time and says no. Ralph says they will buy the tickets even though they won't be here because the ticket money is going to be used for charity. How did he know that? Ralph buys a lot of them. Ralph calls the “Gargoyle.” Ralph says that he wants to eat. He doesn’t like to drink on an empty stomach. Ed: “That may take time. The bars may be closed.” Ed wants a banana split. Ralph says that he will embarrass him by eating a banana split, so he asks him to change his order. Typical Ralph. Ed: "But, I want one." Ralph: "All right, embarrass yourself." Ralph calls the waiter and asks for something in French. Waiter: "All right. TWO banana splits." Ralph just embarrassed himself. Ralph calls for a guy with an accordion and asks to play some French music. Ed pays the guy with the francs. The waiter comes by with the food and Ralph pays the waiter. The café owner comes out and is upset that Ralph & Ed have counterfeit money. He learned that somebody has been passing around counterfeit money. The cop, who came by earlier, comes by. The cop and café owner are upset when the money they have gotten from those two is counterfeit. The cop arrest Ralph & Ed and take them to jail.
In jail, Ed notices something written on the wall that says: "They will never hold me in here. Count of Monte Crisco." Ed suggests breaking out. He saw Bruce Cabot do it in a motion picture. Ed ties to bed sheets together. He tosses on end out the window (that has bars.) Ed says that they have to climb using the sheets and slip through the bars to make it out onto the street. How dumb is Ed? Ralph asks Ed to go over that again. Ed does but realizes how dumb that plan is. Ed suggests getting the American ambassador in France by getting the guard to come in here and speak sign language. They will play Charades with him. They will say: “We are Americans from Brooklyn who won the Flaky Wakey around the world contest. They came over by boat. They got framed. They are innocent. Call the American ambassador.” They get the guard in. They play Charades to tell the guard what they wanted to say. When they get to the part that they are from Brooklyn, they imitate the (now San Francisco) Giants since they think that everyone knows the Giants. What about the Yankees? When they get to the part that they won a trip around the world, Ed runs around Ralph. Ha! After all this, the guard reveals that he speaks perfect English. The guard leaves.
The girls come in. They are arrested for giving counterfeit money too. Trixie: "I have never been so humiliated. Being picked up like… I don't know who I am." Alice is fed up this time. They sing: "So Upset." After that, the Paris representative from the Flaky Wakey Company comes in. When Alice was arrested, she called the Flaky Wakey Company. He bailed them out. He says that he will get them out of the trouble with the French law by everything to the proper authorities. The Nortons leave. But Alice & Ralph stay for a while and Ralph literally sings the praises of Alice. The song is: “You Are Wonderful.” Alice still upset despite being happy seconds earlier and leaves in a huff with Ralph in tow.
The next day, at the Le Dome, the Kramdens & Nortons are having some champagne. They want to enjoy their last day in Paris. Ralph & Ed then see Pierre and his small assistant come by with the suitcase full of phony money and nab them. Ed takes the evidence. They see a cop and Ralph demands that Pierre confess everything because Ralph doesn't know French. The small assistant then lies to the cop about Ralph & Ed being counterfeiters and the cop puts Ralph & Ed in jail. Everyone (June Taylor Dancers) sing: “We Are Off To Paris.”
Jackie comes out for the curtain call. Jackie says that he hopes the audience enjoyed the musical comedy. The crowd applauds. He introduces the cast again all at once (including Martin Green, but Martin doesn’t come out.) Jackie also thanks Andy Russell and Sid, the writers. They wrote the show within a few days notice. Jackie says he wants to give Sid more credit but he can’t think of his last name. Jackie gets informed that the last name is Zelinka. Jackie: “See? I didn’t forget with the lyrics and everything.” Jackie also thanks Marvin Marx, Herb Finn and Walter Stone. He also thanks his orchestra leader, Ray Bloch. Jackie also thanks the lyric writers: Lynn Duddey and Jerry Bressler.
The announcer then plugs Old Gold Cigarettes and asks the audience to tune in next week as Old Gold presents the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY line in the credits.
Episode #162
TV: In 2019, the Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: On disc 13 of the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Away We Go”, “Plastered In Paris” & “Away We Go.”
Lost Episode Title: "Behind The Iron Curtain."
Color Episode Title: "We Spy."
Air Date: Sat. 2/16/57
"Behind The Iron Curtain":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Old Gold Cigarettes are the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Jack Lescoulie comes out. Jack says that the Kramdens and Nortons are going to Germany.
As the Berlin Express arrives in Germany, a bunch of “Germans” (aka June Taylor Dancers) sing: “Berlin Express Is At The Station Now.” A marching band comes out and plays music as the dancers sing. It is so obvious that the train is fake but that is to be expected. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in Germany. Ed is carrying all the luggage off the train. Ed asked him why he didn’t get a porter to carry the luggage. He said that he didn't want a porter to take advantage of them. Ed: "I don't need one to take advantage of me. I got you to take advantage of me." Ralph claims that he strained his back. He strained his back while putting the luggage in Ed's hands. Ha! They wait for the Flaky-Wakey people. They want their picture taken. Ed takes their picture, but Ed being Ed, takes his time which gets Ralph upset. They want a picture off all four of them, so Ed asks a German person. Ed: "Hey Schweinehund" Ralph corrects him. Ralph: "It's Herr Schweinehund." Alice says to greet someone in German, you say: "Mein herr." Ralph tries to ask a German man. The man reveals his bald head and so Ralph says to never mind. Ha! Ralph wants Ed to take a picture of him right by the front of the train. Ed gets ready to snap the picture when steam from the train comes out right in front of Ralph which causes Ralph to scream in pain. Ralph wants his photo taken away from the front of the train, so he stands in front of one of the other cars right by the wheels. Déjà vu happens. Ha! Mr. Poota, The Flaky-Wakey man comes and addresses himself as the German representative. He was late. He came from the frontier. He says that in Germany, there's the American, British, Russian & French zone. You can not go into the Russian zone because it is dangerous. Since the fall of the U.S.S.R., I don’t think that Germany is divided anymore. The man suggests taking a hike in a German forest. The man: "The German forest has the most beautiful scenery in the world." Ralph likes the idea. They will all go to the hotel and make up their mind what they want to do later. A marching band comes. Ralph grabs the drum and sings a German song. Everyone grabs an instrument and joins Ralph in song.
At a top of a mountain, two Russian people set up a marker and sign that said: "Zutritt Nicht Erlabut 3anpethar 3oha." That sign means that this is a Russian firing area. You can tell that the background in this scene is fake. They leave. Ralph arrives, dropping paper so it will make it easier for him to remember the way back. He looks ridiculous. The girls and Ralph follow. Ralph: Ed comes behind and picks up the trash. Ralph yells at him because he put the trash there so he will remember the way back. Alice is upset that they are now lost. Ed. He gets out his map and says that he knows where they are; right smack in the middle of the North, South, East & West. The girls are worried that they are in the Russian zone. Ed says that they are in the American zone. He says that his map has the four zones and in each zone is marked by a different color. According to him, since the grass is green, that means that they are in the American zone. Ha! Alice is worried that they are going to get in trouble. Ralph: “How are we going to get in trouble in a great place like this? If you don’t like this, go back to the hotel. We are going to camp out here and sleep overnight. You want to live like natives here, not tourists.” Alice: “At home, I am a native. Here, I want to be a tourist.” Ralph says if anybody doesn’t want to stay here to go. The girls do. Ed tries to follow, but Ralph says that he is staying here with him. What a friend. Alice is given the map so her & Trixie can go back to the hotel. Ralph: “On a trip like this, girls can be trouble.” Ralph talks about how nice it is up here. They try to put the tent up. Ed asks what the sign says. Ralph says that it says: "No smoking." I would ask questions like why a "No smoking" sign would be in the middle of nowhere as well as how could Ralph say that that sign says "No Smoking" on a sign that has five Russian words. They need a stick to put up the pole. Ralph grabs the Russian firing area pole. They sit down. Ed asks why a pole like the one that Ralph grabbed would be in the forrest. Ralph: “Maybe someone is going to open up a barber shop here.” Ed mentions another area that was as quiet: a Sunday that he spent in a sewer without a ripple. Both of them sing a song: “So Peaceful, So Quiet.” They get up. Ed is going to smoke a cigarette. Ralph says no cigarettes for him. Firing shots are heard and seen. Audience applauds. Ralph: "When they mean 'No smoking', they mean it." The Russians get them and take them back into their headquarters in Russia.
At the Russian headquarters the next day, Ralph & Ed are detained. Interrogator: "For the past time, confess. You two are the two American spies." Ralph says that they are not. Interrogator: "What were you two doing in the Russian firing range?" Ralph: “We came there to relax.” Interrogator: “You were stealing Russian military secrets.” Ralph denies it. Interrogator, grabbing Ed's kit which has a map, asks what they are doing with this map of Russian factory. Ed says it isn't and he & Ed try to tell him the truth. It doesn't work. Interrogator: “Explain to me what this ring means.” Ed: “It is my secret code ring.” Oh boy! Ed won’t explain the code because Little Orphan Annie swore him to secrecy. The interrogator asks them to confess or they would be transferred to Moscow. The interrogator threatens to torture them by hanging them. The Interrogator is going to send in secret police to help him out. Interrogator: “When you people admit that you are spies, I will get special promotion from our fearless leader.” Interrogator: “We have ways to make you confess.” The interrogator leaves asks the guards to guard them. Ed: “I don’t want to get brainwashed. I hate to come out of this thing stupid.” Ralph has a plan. Ralph tries to speak to them in English but it doesn’t work. Ralph & Ed then get up to play “Patty Cake” in which they punch out the guards. The guards are dragged into a closet. Ralph & Ed grab uniforms so they will look like Russians. They try to leave. A Russian person brings in an important man from Moscow and his friend. They assume that they are a Mr. Yenko and a Mr. Boojenyen (sp?) They say that Russians are planning a banquet in his (Mr. Yenko’s) honor tonight. Ralph goes along with this and asks the other American prisoners to be freed. One of them does. The other one offers to drive them to it. "Ralph tries to decline so he and Norton can escape but Norton, being stupid, says he wants to be driven to the banquet.
At the banquet, Russian dancers (June Taylor dancers) & male dancers are dancing in front of Ralph & Ed. The Russian remembers his childhood with Ralph. He asks what was the nickname that he used to call him. Ed says it was "fatso." Russian: "That's right. Your nickname for me was ‘Stinky.’" They try to leave. Russian: "First you will honor us with a speech." Ralph: "I would like to make a speech but I got a sore throat." The Russian makes him a Vodka drink to combat the sore throat. Ralph drinks it and hates it. Ed makes a speech. Ed (in a funny voice): “How do you do? Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fellow Raccoons, I mean fellow Russians..." He mentions his idea for the next five-year plan. We are going to replace our Russian steps and replace them with escalators. Ha! Ralph says that he is making a toast. The Russian assumes that his sore throat has healed. Ralph gets to told to say his plans for the American worker which is a song that I think is entitled: “All The Poor Workers In America.” He ends the song. The Russian asks to do his kazatski dance. Ralph does. He dances a similar dance like in “Mama Loves Mambo.” He gets tired and tries to sit down but they want more dancing. He dances some more. He tries to sit down but they want more dancing. He dances some more. He sits down. The real Mr. Yenko & Mr. Boojenven come in. Ralph & Ed's reaction? They leap through the window. Russians fire gun shots at them.
The Kramdens & Nortons are scheduled to leave Berlin at 2:30pm. At the train station the next day in the American section, the boys run into the girls and explain the whole situation of where they were and why are they are wearing Russian uniforms. The girls don't believe them. The girls go on the train. Ed says that without them, they were scared. Ralph says that Ed was but he wasn’t. Wow! Ralph: “Takes more than a couple of bullets to scare me. Steam emanates from the train, scaring Ralph. They go in the train. The Russians (June Taylor Dancers) dance and sing a song that I think in entitled: “Berlin.” I hate it when episodes of TV shows end with husbands tell the wives the truth and the wives don't believe them. On a side note, what happened to Ed Norton's kit? Jackie comes out and says “Goodnight.”
The announcer then plugs Bulova (the world leader in fine watches and radios) and asks the audience to tune in next week as Bulova presents the Jackie Gleason Show. One of the stills that was used for the advertisement was a bit lopsided. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY credit line (some of which weren’t on the credit roll.) The announcer continues reading as we fade to black.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
Episode #161
TV: In 2019, the Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: Attached to “Away We Go”, “Behind The Iron Curtain” & “When In Rome.”
Lost Episode Title: "Plastered In Paris."
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Poor People of Paris."
Air Date: Sat. 2/9/57
"Plastered In Paris":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Bulova is the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Martin Green is the guest star. Jack Lescoulie comes out and announces that the Kramdens and Nortons have arrived in France. Jack: “Gay Pariee has become even gayer.”
The storyline for this episode is very similar to an I Love Lucy episode entitled: “Paris, At Last.”
The episode opens up with a hotel butler (played by Martin Green) and maids (June Taylor Dancers) and other cleaners are singing: "The Americans Are Coming" in which some of the lyrics are: "they are very rich." Sure. Isn't a coincidence that when a TV family goes to a foreign language-speaking country, they always run into at least one person that speaks their language? I read somewhere that Martin Green in this episode had the very same role in the ’66 version. Only in that version, he suffered a very serious leg injury which required him to have that leg amputated. So, he did that number on a fake leg. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive. Butler: "On behalf of Belle France, we welcome you." Ralph: "On behalf of Brooklyn, we thank you again." The cleaners and maids leave. Ralph: “They remind me of the June Taylor Dancers in the States.” Ralph says that this hotel room is not what they are used to because it doesn't have the conveniences they got at home. Ralph: "We have a suite like this for the servants. We have a maid, a butler, a cook, a washer woman, a cleaning woman, a handy man." Butler: "Did you bring all of them with you?" Alice: "Yes, he did and I'm pleased to meet you." The butler leaves. The girls and Ed get ready to go sight-seeing Ralph calls downstairs and asks for carnations. A knock on the door is heard. Alice answers the door. The bellboys come in and make a crepe suzettes (French pancakes) and in order to do so, they have to start a fire on their little stove. Trixie comes in. Ralph comes in and thinks that the room is on fire and puts it out. Ed comes out. Alice explains that crepe suzettes are supposed to be on fire. Alice is upset. Ralph admits it. Ralph: “When you make a mistake, I don’t embarrass you. On the boat, they brought out the bowl of water with the lemon in it. Did you drink the water like everyone else? No. You played with the lemon.” Alice apologizes. A bellboy (played by George Petrie) comes in with the carnations. Ralph says that they have to exchange their American money for French Francs. They leave to go get ready to go to the bank. The bellboy calls Pierre. They plan on giving the boys counterfeit money. Ralph comes out. The bellboy says that he knows a “better” rate of exchange. Henri and his small assistant come in and give Ralph & Ed a “better” rate of exchange. The small assistant says in French (with the bellhop translating): "It's been a pleasure to give YOU the business." They boys tell the wives of their good fortune and they are happy. The girls sing: "Buy, Buy, Buy." Ralph can’t wait to spend the money. Ralph & Ed continue the song: “Buy, Buy, Buy.”
At a French café called Le Dome, the dancers are singing: "In Paris." Ralph & Ed order lunch. Ralph continues to badly speak French by saying to the owner that they want the best table. Ralph calls the waiter "Gargoyle." It is actually Garcon, I think. Ed says he may not speak French like Ralph, but he speaks a little Greek. He says "Stromberry." Ralph: "Norton, in the month of May, don't come out of the house because that is when they gather nuts." A cop comes by and asks them if they want tickets to the Gendarme's Ball that is in four weeks. Ed says that they won't be here by that time and says no. Ralph says they will buy the tickets even though they won't be here because the ticket money is going to be used for charity. How did he know that? Ralph buys a lot of them. Ralph calls the “Gargoyle.” Ralph says that he wants to eat. He doesn’t like to drink on an empty stomach. Ed: “That may take time. The bars may be closed.” Ed wants a banana split. Ralph says that he will embarrass him by eating a banana split, so he asks him to change his order. Typical Ralph. Ed: "But, I want one." Ralph: "All right, embarrass yourself." Ralph calls the waiter and asks for something in French. Waiter: "All right. TWO banana splits." Ralph just embarrassed himself. Ralph calls for a guy with an accordion and asks to play some French music. Ed pays the guy with the francs. The waiter comes by with the food and Ralph pays the waiter. The café owner comes out and is upset that Ralph & Ed have counterfeit money. He learned that somebody has been passing around counterfeit money. The cop, who came by earlier, comes by. The cop and café owner are upset when the money they have gotten from those two is counterfeit. The cop arrest Ralph & Ed and take them to jail.
In jail, Ed notices something written on the wall that says: "They will never hold me in here. Count of Monte Crisco." Ed suggests breaking out. He saw Bruce Cabot do it in a motion picture. Ed ties to bed sheets together. He tosses on end out the window (that has bars.) Ed says that they have to climb using the sheets and slip through the bars to make it out onto the street. How dumb is Ed? Ralph asks Ed to go over that again. Ed does but realizes how dumb that plan is. Ed suggests getting the American ambassador in France by getting the guard to come in here and speak sign language. They will play Charades with him. They will say: “We are Americans from Brooklyn who won the Flaky Wakey around the world contest. They came over by boat. They got framed. They are innocent. Call the American ambassador.” They get the guard in. They play Charades to tell the guard what they wanted to say. When they get to the part that they are from Brooklyn, they imitate the (now San Francisco) Giants since they think that everyone knows the Giants. What about the Yankees? When they get to the part that they won a trip around the world, Ed runs around Ralph. Ha! After all this, the guard reveals that he speaks perfect English. The guard leaves.
The girls come in. They are arrested for giving counterfeit money too. Trixie: "I have never been so humiliated. Being picked up like… I don't know who I am." Alice is fed up this time. They sing: "So Upset." After that, the Paris representative from the Flaky Wakey Company comes in. When Alice was arrested, she called the Flaky Wakey Company. He bailed them out. He says that he will get them out of the trouble with the French law by everything to the proper authorities. The Nortons leave. But Alice & Ralph stay for a while and Ralph literally sings the praises of Alice. The song is: “You Are Wonderful.” Alice still upset despite being happy seconds earlier and leaves in a huff with Ralph in tow.
The next day, at the Le Dome, the Kramdens & Nortons are having some champagne. They want to enjoy their last day in Paris. Ralph & Ed then see Pierre and his small assistant come by with the suitcase full of phony money and nab them. Ed takes the evidence. They see a cop and Ralph demands that Pierre confess everything because Ralph doesn't know French. The small assistant then lies to the cop about Ralph & Ed being counterfeiters and the cop puts Ralph & Ed in jail. Everyone (June Taylor Dancers) sing: “We Are Off To Paris.”
Jackie comes out for the curtain call. Jackie says that he hopes the audience enjoyed the musical comedy. The crowd applauds. He introduces the cast again all at once (including Martin Green, but Martin doesn’t come out.) Jackie also thanks Andy Russell and Sid, the writers. They wrote the show within a few days notice. Jackie says he wants to give Sid more credit but he can’t think of his last name. Jackie gets informed that the last name is Zelinka. Jackie: “See? I didn’t forget with the lyrics and everything.” Jackie also thanks Marvin Marx, Herb Finn and Walter Stone. He also thanks his orchestra leader, Ray Bloch. Jackie also thanks the lyric writers: Lynn Duddey and Jerry Bressler.
The announcer then plugs Old Gold Cigarettes and asks the audience to tune in next week as Old Gold presents the Jackie Gleason Show. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY line in the credits.
Episode #162
TV: In 2019, the Decades channel started showing this episode in two parts.
DVD: On disc 13 of the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Away We Go”, “Plastered In Paris” & “Away We Go.”
Lost Episode Title: "Behind The Iron Curtain."
Color Episode Title: "We Spy."
Air Date: Sat. 2/16/57
"Behind The Iron Curtain":
The beginning of this episode is unique in that apparently it is the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show with fireworks in the background. Old Gold Cigarettes are the sponsor. Much like in the Color Honeymooners, a camera zooms in on a Glee Girl as they announce the stars’ names. Jack Lescoulie comes out. Jack says that the Kramdens and Nortons are going to Germany.
As the Berlin Express arrives in Germany, a bunch of “Germans” (aka June Taylor Dancers) sing: “Berlin Express Is At The Station Now.” A marching band comes out and plays music as the dancers sing. It is so obvious that the train is fake but that is to be expected. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in Germany. Ed is carrying all the luggage off the train. Ed asked him why he didn’t get a porter to carry the luggage. He said that he didn't want a porter to take advantage of them. Ed: "I don't need one to take advantage of me. I got you to take advantage of me." Ralph claims that he strained his back. He strained his back while putting the luggage in Ed's hands. Ha! They wait for the Flaky-Wakey people. They want their picture taken. Ed takes their picture, but Ed being Ed, takes his time which gets Ralph upset. They want a picture off all four of them, so Ed asks a German person. Ed: "Hey Schweinehund" Ralph corrects him. Ralph: "It's Herr Schweinehund." Alice says to greet someone in German, you say: "Mein herr." Ralph tries to ask a German man. The man reveals his bald head and so Ralph says to never mind. Ha! Ralph wants Ed to take a picture of him right by the front of the train. Ed gets ready to snap the picture when steam from the train comes out right in front of Ralph which causes Ralph to scream in pain. Ralph wants his photo taken away from the front of the train, so he stands in front of one of the other cars right by the wheels. Déjà vu happens. Ha! Mr. Poota, The Flaky-Wakey man comes and addresses himself as the German representative. He was late. He came from the frontier. He says that in Germany, there's the American, British, Russian & French zone. You can not go into the Russian zone because it is dangerous. Since the fall of the U.S.S.R., I don’t think that Germany is divided anymore. The man suggests taking a hike in a German forest. The man: "The German forest has the most beautiful scenery in the world." Ralph likes the idea. They will all go to the hotel and make up their mind what they want to do later. A marching band comes. Ralph grabs the drum and sings a German song. Everyone grabs an instrument and joins Ralph in song.
At a top of a mountain, two Russian people set up a marker and sign that said: "Zutritt Nicht Erlabut 3anpethar 3oha." That sign means that this is a Russian firing area. You can tell that the background in this scene is fake. They leave. Ralph arrives, dropping paper so it will make it easier for him to remember the way back. He looks ridiculous. The girls and Ralph follow. Ralph: Ed comes behind and picks up the trash. Ralph yells at him because he put the trash there so he will remember the way back. Alice is upset that they are now lost. Ed. He gets out his map and says that he knows where they are; right smack in the middle of the North, South, East & West. The girls are worried that they are in the Russian zone. Ed says that they are in the American zone. He says that his map has the four zones and in each zone is marked by a different color. According to him, since the grass is green, that means that they are in the American zone. Ha! Alice is worried that they are going to get in trouble. Ralph: “How are we going to get in trouble in a great place like this? If you don’t like this, go back to the hotel. We are going to camp out here and sleep overnight. You want to live like natives here, not tourists.” Alice: “At home, I am a native. Here, I want to be a tourist.” Ralph says if anybody doesn’t want to stay here to go. The girls do. Ed tries to follow, but Ralph says that he is staying here with him. What a friend. Alice is given the map so her & Trixie can go back to the hotel. Ralph: “On a trip like this, girls can be trouble.” Ralph talks about how nice it is up here. They try to put the tent up. Ed asks what the sign says. Ralph says that it says: "No smoking." I would ask questions like why a "No smoking" sign would be in the middle of nowhere as well as how could Ralph say that that sign says "No Smoking" on a sign that has five Russian words. They need a stick to put up the pole. Ralph grabs the Russian firing area pole. They sit down. Ed asks why a pole like the one that Ralph grabbed would be in the forrest. Ralph: “Maybe someone is going to open up a barber shop here.” Ed mentions another area that was as quiet: a Sunday that he spent in a sewer without a ripple. Both of them sing a song: “So Peaceful, So Quiet.” They get up. Ed is going to smoke a cigarette. Ralph says no cigarettes for him. Firing shots are heard and seen. Audience applauds. Ralph: "When they mean 'No smoking', they mean it." The Russians get them and take them back into their headquarters in Russia.
At the Russian headquarters the next day, Ralph & Ed are detained. Interrogator: "For the past time, confess. You two are the two American spies." Ralph says that they are not. Interrogator: "What were you two doing in the Russian firing range?" Ralph: “We came there to relax.” Interrogator: “You were stealing Russian military secrets.” Ralph denies it. Interrogator, grabbing Ed's kit which has a map, asks what they are doing with this map of Russian factory. Ed says it isn't and he & Ed try to tell him the truth. It doesn't work. Interrogator: “Explain to me what this ring means.” Ed: “It is my secret code ring.” Oh boy! Ed won’t explain the code because Little Orphan Annie swore him to secrecy. The interrogator asks them to confess or they would be transferred to Moscow. The interrogator threatens to torture them by hanging them. The Interrogator is going to send in secret police to help him out. Interrogator: “When you people admit that you are spies, I will get special promotion from our fearless leader.” Interrogator: “We have ways to make you confess.” The interrogator leaves asks the guards to guard them. Ed: “I don’t want to get brainwashed. I hate to come out of this thing stupid.” Ralph has a plan. Ralph tries to speak to them in English but it doesn’t work. Ralph & Ed then get up to play “Patty Cake” in which they punch out the guards. The guards are dragged into a closet. Ralph & Ed grab uniforms so they will look like Russians. They try to leave. A Russian person brings in an important man from Moscow and his friend. They assume that they are a Mr. Yenko and a Mr. Boojenyen (sp?) They say that Russians are planning a banquet in his (Mr. Yenko’s) honor tonight. Ralph goes along with this and asks the other American prisoners to be freed. One of them does. The other one offers to drive them to it. "Ralph tries to decline so he and Norton can escape but Norton, being stupid, says he wants to be driven to the banquet.
At the banquet, Russian dancers (June Taylor dancers) & male dancers are dancing in front of Ralph & Ed. The Russian remembers his childhood with Ralph. He asks what was the nickname that he used to call him. Ed says it was "fatso." Russian: "That's right. Your nickname for me was ‘Stinky.’" They try to leave. Russian: "First you will honor us with a speech." Ralph: "I would like to make a speech but I got a sore throat." The Russian makes him a Vodka drink to combat the sore throat. Ralph drinks it and hates it. Ed makes a speech. Ed (in a funny voice): “How do you do? Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fellow Raccoons, I mean fellow Russians..." He mentions his idea for the next five-year plan. We are going to replace our Russian steps and replace them with escalators. Ha! Ralph says that he is making a toast. The Russian assumes that his sore throat has healed. Ralph gets to told to say his plans for the American worker which is a song that I think is entitled: “All The Poor Workers In America.” He ends the song. The Russian asks to do his kazatski dance. Ralph does. He dances a similar dance like in “Mama Loves Mambo.” He gets tired and tries to sit down but they want more dancing. He dances some more. He tries to sit down but they want more dancing. He dances some more. He sits down. The real Mr. Yenko & Mr. Boojenven come in. Ralph & Ed's reaction? They leap through the window. Russians fire gun shots at them.
The Kramdens & Nortons are scheduled to leave Berlin at 2:30pm. At the train station the next day in the American section, the boys run into the girls and explain the whole situation of where they were and why are they are wearing Russian uniforms. The girls don't believe them. The girls go on the train. Ed says that without them, they were scared. Ralph says that Ed was but he wasn’t. Wow! Ralph: “Takes more than a couple of bullets to scare me. Steam emanates from the train, scaring Ralph. They go in the train. The Russians (June Taylor Dancers) dance and sing a song that I think in entitled: “Berlin.” I hate it when episodes of TV shows end with husbands tell the wives the truth and the wives don't believe them. On a side note, what happened to Ed Norton's kit? Jackie comes out and says “Goodnight.”
The announcer then plugs Bulova (the world leader in fine watches and radios) and asks the audience to tune in next week as Bulova presents the Jackie Gleason Show. One of the stills that was used for the advertisement was a bit lopsided. The Glee Girls all come out one by one as the announcer tries to read EVERY credit line (some of which weren’t on the credit roll.) The announcer continues reading as we fade to black.
Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.