Since I'm bluer than blue because of this Coronavirus...maybe this will help...

Announcer: And Welcome Back to another episode of Sitcom Family Feud! And here's your host...The Ghost of Richard Dawson!

Richard Dawson Enters

Richard: Thank You, Thank You! Because of this Potatovirus, we can only have 10 people in the studio...and since I am a ghost...I don't count! And our announcer did this from another place, and the applause has to be canned...reminds me of Hogan's Heroes. Now...let's bring-back our champions...The Warners from Everything Happens in Bertstown!

The main cast of Everything Happens in Bertstown enter.

Tony: Wow...this Potatovirus is friggin' awesome!

Richard: Now why do you say that?

Tony: because I don't have to be around anyone!

Richard: But St. Patrick's Day and Easter were cancelled...

Tony: Ricky...I had my own friggin' parade! I painted myself green and marched nude all over Bertstown! Everyone saw that!

Richard: First...don't call me Ricky and second...did the cops arrest you?

Tony: They did...but it was friggin' awesome!

Richard: next...we move-on to Helen.

Helen: This is insane...I miss work and all that Tony does is talk to me and drink the whole time...I wish school can resume.

Richard: Next we move-on to Paul who is still depressed...

Paul: I have to go to work every day...It's mandatory!

Richard: And if you catch the Potatovirus, I won't miss you...finally we have John-Paul Warner.

John: Richard...I too have to work, but on the bright side...I can work at home!

Richard: Okay, up next...we have the cast of The Golden Girls!

The cast of Golden Girls enter.

Richard: Okay...first off...we have Dorothy Zbornak. Can I give you a hug?

Dorothy: NO! I don't wanna get that damn Potatovirus!

Richard: Look...I'm a ghost...I can't get sick.

Dorothy: Still...I can't take that chance!

Richard: So you were a New Yorker and were a substitute teacher at this high school in New York.

Dorothy: I think that was the same one that this Mr. Moore would later teach at.

Richard: You also did some acting as well?

Dorothy: Yes...as a schoolteacher for The Mister Terrific Show.

Richard: Why did you leave that gig?

Dorothy: Because Mr. Terrific was making moves at me...well...God's gonna get him for that!

Richard: Funny you should say that because...

Dorothy: Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Richard: Next-up we have Rose Nylund.

Rose: Give me a hug...I don't care...

Richard and Rose hug.

Dorothy: Rose...God's gonna get you for that!

Richard: So Rose...you wrote many letters to Bob Hope.

Rose: I did...and I wore all black in 2003 the day he passed-on.

Richard: That reminds me...I have a golf outing with Bob Hope and Payne Stewart this weekend. Next, we have Blanche Devereaux.

Blanche: Hug me, Richard!

Blanche and Richard hug.

Richard: Now you are the one who invited all these ladies into your house.

Blanche: Yes...I even lived like the people in Gone with the Wind. That's my favorite movie. As God as my Witness...I'll never be hungry again!

Richard: Well...just don't get too many ideas. Finally...we have Dorothy's mother, Sophia Petrillo.

Richard and Sophia hug

Richard: So, you were born in Sicily?

Sophia: I was...I'm probably tied-in with the mafia...more likely with the Corleones.

Richard: With that...let's start the feud!

Tony and Dorothy arrive to the podium where Richard is standing at.

Richard: Okay, we surveyed 100 people and they gave us 8 answers...Name Something Elderly People Do.

Tony Buzzes In

Tony: Watch Lawrence Welk!

Dorothy: Look...I may be elderly, but I think Lawrence Welk Sucks!

Rose: I love that Show.

Dorothy: Of Course You Would You (BLEEP).

Tony: Hey Dorothy...you available tonight?

Dorothy: Maybe...

Tony: Wanna watch Netflix and Chill?

Dorothy: Is Lawrence Welk on Netflix?

Tony: No...but Goodfellas Is...

Dorothy: Count Me In!

Helen: Tony...

Tony: You can watch Netflix and Chill as well, dear!

Richard: I dunno what this Netflix and Chill concept is, but Is Lawrence Welk on a panel a-one, or a-two, or...

#3 answer is Watch Lawrence Welk/Matlock. 12 people answered it.

Richard: They must love Matlock as well. Dorothy...Name Something Elderly People Do.

Dorothy: Depends!

Richard: Depends on what?

Dorothy: I dunno...they wear Depends!

Richard: Do the elderly wear Depends?

#2 answer is Wear Diapers. 13 people answered it.

Richard: You beat Tony by one point, so are you gonna play or pass.

Dorothy: Dammit, we're gonna play!

Tony: And I just passed...that Italian food was real spicy...maybe I should wear Depends!

Richard: Maybe you should...Good Lord, must he break-wind every time? Now Rose...Name Something Elderly People Do...

Rose: Bake Cookies.

Richard: That sounds reasonable...do grandmas make cookies?

#7 answer is Baking Baked Goods, 2 people answered it.

Richard: Okay then...

Blanche: That reminds me...I gotta bake a batch for Dr. Stanley.

Richard: Who's Dr. Stanley?

Dorothy: Another one of those e-van-gel-i-cals who holler for The Almighty Dollar!

Blanche: But he preaches in Atlanta.

Dorothy: God's Gonna Get Him For That!

Richard: Anyhow...Name Something Elderly People Do...

Blanche: Make Whoopie!

Richard: You know Bob Eubanks?

Blanche: Where'd you think I got that term?

Richard: Okay...do the elderly know how to make love?

#6 answer is "Make Love", 5 people answered it.

Richard: Sophia...Name Something Elderly People Do.

Sophia: Use Poli-dent.

Richard: Do they use Poli-dent?

#5 answer is "Have Dentures/Glasses", 7 people answered it.

Richard: Now...we go back to Dorothy...Name Something Elderly People Do.

Dorothy: I dunno...play shuffleboard?

Richard: Is Shuffleboard up there?

#4 answer is "Play Shuffleboard", 11 people answered it.

Richard: Now we go back to Rose...name Something Elderly People Do.

Rose: They take pills.

Richard: Okay...good answer...so...let's see if taking pills is up there?

BUZZ

Richard: Okay...it isn't up there...so, we go to The Warners.

The Warners debate on what the #1 answer is, it It's "Complaining" or "Farting", then Paul bangs his gavel.

Paul: Would You Listen To Me Just Once? Old People Complain A Lot!

Tony: Richard...since I do fart many times on the show...I'm making "farting" over "bitching" for the steal!

Richard: So...Is flatulence the answer that'll give The Warners the Steal?

#8 answer is "Passing Gas", 1 person answered it.

Richard: So...what's the #1 Answer?

#1 Answer is "Complaining", 49 people answered it.

Richard: A lot of complaints over anything and everything...well...looks like we must say Arrivederci to The Golden Girls.

Rose: But I thought my answer was good.

Dorothy: Well...God's Gonna Get You For That! I'll see you after the game, Tone.

Rose: Richard...my roommates can be sweet...don't mind Dorothy...she's just upset after all these years.

Richard: that's nice to say, Rose.

Rose: Plus...I missed the days we were on Match Game, but maybe one day we can be on Match Game Purgatory.

Richard: Okay...that's enough.

Rose: I'm still on TV and I hope to reach 100 and I hope the Potatovirus doesn't get to me.

Richard: Can Someone Help Me?

Two guys arrive and take Rose to the Betty White Clinic.

Rose: It'll be like old times...I really miss them. I just hope that...

Richard: Don't worry...she's going to The Betty White Clinic. So...who's gonna play Fast-Money?

The Warners Except Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is Paul Is!

Paul arrives to Richard Dawson.

Paul: I have to work every day!

Richard: Well, win or lose...I'm gonna give you $20,000. How's That?

Paul: Sounds Good.

Richard: Now...You know how to play the Fast-Money Round, I say something and you answer right away...give me 15 seconds on the clock.

:15 is seen.

Richard: Now...the clock starts after I ask the question...Name an Indo-European Language...

Paul: Albanian.

BUZZ

Richard: Name an animal that's in Africa...

Paul: Jerboa.

Richard: Name a type of record...

Paul: 16 2/3.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a city in Japan...

Paul: Yawata

BUZZ

Richard: Name a mix drink...

Paul: Kalimotxo

BUZZ

Well...you stumped our survey people...again! But like I promised...all four of you get $20,000 each because of the Potatovirus! Maybe next time, we'll have a full audience. But as we Speak, this is Sitcom Family Feud. I'm Richard Dawson...I dunno!