View Full Version : “The Bewitched Movie”


Sitcomwriter
06-25-2002, 10:27 PM
“The Bewitched Movie”

Rated PG-13
For Violence and some sexual humor

Cast:
Sarah Michelle Geller as Samantha Stephens/Serena
Freddie Prinze Jr. as Darrin Stephens
Alice Ghostley as Miss Alice Brass
Elizabeth Taylor as Endora
Woody Allen as Uncle Arthur
Dabney Coleman as Larry Tate
Dustin Diamond as Rob Munson
Joey Fatone as Jerry Crabapple
Natalie Portman as Tina Grimes
Jodie Foster as Gladys Kravitz
Ben Stiller as Abner Kravitz
Tom Hanks as Frank Carrodort
Gary Coleman as Hank Tinywar
Adam Sandler as Barry Warlik
Kathleen Turner as Shockentra Witchcraft
Betty White as Eileen Wiccan
Ted Mcginley as Warren Lockhart
Christina Ricci as Young Shockentra Witchcraft
Florence Henderson as Old Shockentra Witchcraft
Barbara Eden as Betty Ann

(Opening Credits)

(Samantha is walking around NYC with her pocketbook in her hands.The Bewitched theme song is playing in the backround.We see her body and then her face.She’s wearing a purple dress and a purple headband.)

Samantha:Hi Betty Ann!

(Betty Ann is at her Market Place “Betty Ann’s” lining up the cantaloupes.They all fall down as she turns her head to see Samantha)

Betty:Hello Samantha!

(Samantha continues walking.She sees Mcmahon and Tate’s Ad Agency)

Samantha:Mcmahon and Tate’s umm.I DO need a job and I’m am EXTREMLY good when it comes to making up ads.I did it for Dr.Bombay! “Dr.Bombay can take your life today” You know I’m going to apply for a job

(Inside Mcmahon and Tate’s.A meeting is going on.Larry Tate is sitting down discussing things with his workers Darrin,Rob,Jerry,Tina and Frank.Samantha walks in)

Samantha:Excuse me sir Are you a Mr.Mcmahon or Tate?

Larry:I’m Mr.Tate

Samantha:Why hello Mr.Tate I’m Samantha

Larry:What can I do for you Miss…

Samantha:Samantha

Larry:Samantha Samantha that’s an interesting name

Samantha:No it’s just Samantha.We don’t have a last name

Jerry:How very odd

Tina:Yeah I know

Frank:I was thinking the same thing

Rob:Me too!

Darrin:Well for a girl without a last name you sure are pretty

Samantha:Why thank you

Larry:Back to work people! Samantha why ARE you here?

Samantha:I want to get a job

Larry:Well there aren’t any jobs left here so sorry (He sits back down)

(Samantha feels hurt Darrin runs out to catch her)

Darrin:I’m sorry Samantha Mr.Tate can be a real dick sometimes

Samantha:I understand

Darrin:Well anyway How about some dinner tonight?

Samantha:I have a family reunion thing to go to of course if I had a choice I would have dinner with you

Darrin:I understand

Samantha:Well anyway tomorrow I’m free

Darrin:I have work all day.How about Wednesday?

Samantha:Dinner with my mom.Thursday?

Darrin:Friends is on

Samantha:I love Friends!

Darrin:Ok so I’ll cancel everybody else…

Samantha:You watch Friends with a group of people?

Darrin:Everybody from work.Don’t you?

Samantha:Oh yeah of of course I do

Darrin:Ok so Thursday it is

Samantha:Ok.Wait I didn’t catch your name

Darrin:It’s Darrin Darrin Stephens

Samantha:Ok Darrin well bye for now

Darrin:Till Thursday

Samantha:Till Thursday!

(Samantha walks up to her apartment building.She goes inside and sees Miss Alice Brass,her landlady)

Samantha:Hello Miss Brass

Alice:Hello Samantha.Enjoy your Family Reunion

Samantha:I wish I could

(Samantha walks up to her apartment and puts in her key.She opens the door and sees that her mother,Endora is sitting on her bed)

Samantha:Mother What are you doing here?

Endora:It’s time to go to the Other Realm dear

Samantha:Let me change first (Twitches her nose and now she’s wearing a ball gown)

Endora:You get better and better everyday!

Samantha:What are we waiting for?

Endora:Your Uncle Arthur

Samantha:Oh

(Uncle Arthur zaps himself into the apartment)

Arthur:Bad news bears…hey that was funny! Anyway bad news

Endora:What is it Arthur?

Arthur:It’s Clara.She was beaten

Endora:By Norman?

Arthur:No by her heart.She had a heart attack…Oh I kill myself

Endora:I wish you would

Samantha:Oh crap! That sucks because I had a date and….

Endora:My Samantha has a date with a nice young Warlock?

Samantha:Not exactly he’s a mortal

Endora:A MORTAL! You know the rule Samantha Shockentra,ruler of the witches wrote the laws and law number 1800 states that a witch cannot have sexual intercourse with a mortal

Arthur:It’s true.The last witch who did that died and as you all know witches can’t die

Samantha:Who said that I’m going to have intercourse with him? I never said that

Arthur:Trust me it all leads to sex well anyway I’ve got to go (Zaps himself out of the apartment)

Endora:Samantha don’t go on that date! (Zaps herself out of the apartment)

Samantha:What do they know?

(Mcmahon and Tate’s)

Darrin:Samantha!

Samantha:Plans changed Darrin I can go on that date tonight

Darrin:That’s great Samantha! Infact I just bought a house in the burbs We’ll go there

Samantha:Ok let’s go!

Darrin:Alright

Larry:Are you forgetting something Darrin?

Darrin:What?

Tina:Saying bye to me

Frank:And me

Rob:And me

Jerry:And me

Larry:And me

Darrin:Bye

Jerry:Wear a condom!

(Darrin’s house in the burbs.It’s the same house as in the series.Let’s just say that Mcmahon and Tate moved to the Burbs too after Smanatha and Darrin got married.Samantha and Darrin are sitting down.Gladys Kravitz,his next door neighbor as always is gazing through her window.Abner,her husband as always is reading the newspaper)

Gladys:There’s something very suspicious about this girl

Abner:You say that about EVERYBODY Darrin goes out with!

Gladys:I’m serious Abner!

(Now we see Darrin and Samantha again.They just finished eating and Darrin is in the kitchen with the dishes.We see Samantha twitch her nose to slip into a silky nightgown)

Gladys:SHE’S A WITCH! A WITCH!

Abner:That’s great honey That’s great

(The next day.Samantha is in her apartment.Endora appears)

Samantha:Mother what are you doing here?

Endora:I just wanted to know how your date was.So Did you sleep with him?

Samantha:For your information yes I did!

(Samantha and Endora are zapped into the other realm’s castle where the ruler of all witches lives.Her cronies Eileen,Warren,Barry and Hank are sitting down at a large table)

Barry:Your going to rot in HELL for what you did!

Eileen:that’s right HELL!

Hank:HELL!

Warren:Hell!

Eileen:St.Olif!

(Everybody looks at Eileen weird)

Hank:Watchoo Talkin’ ‘bout Eileen?
Shockentra (Off-Screen):SILENCE! (There is a clap of thunder and lightning)

Endora:That’s Shockentra,The ruler of all witches

Samantha:You know I never did meet her

Shockentra (Off-Screen):Well guess what My little Sammy-Whammy YOU WILL NOW! (Shocks of lightning with bolts and fire and earthquakes that rumble appear as Shockentra zaps herself into the castle destroying everything in sight)

Shockentra:Hello Samantha,Endora

Endora:We meet again Shockentra

Shockentra:So how must I seal the fate of this slutty daughter of yours

Endora:You kill her and you die!

Shockentra:You kill me and YOU die!

Endora:Do I really give a damn?

Shockentra:You should!

Samantha:Mother,Shockentra PLEASE!

Shockentra:She has a point Endora.You didn’t do anything wrong…………SHE DID!

Hank:Burn in Hell!

Warren:Burn in Hell!

Eileen:Burn in Hell!

Barry:Burn in Hell!

Shockentra:Hell!

All but Samantha and Endora (Chanting):Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell!

(Samantha wakes up from being put to sleep chained to a crossed)

Shockentra:Ever hear of Salem?

Samantha:Yes it’s the cat on Sabrina

Shockentra:Not funny

Samantha:Sorry

Shockentra:You know what let’s let the dice decide (Throws 2 dice in the air.They fall down.Everybody can’t wait to see what it lands on)
(Silence for 5 minutes)

Shockentra:We kill you in 48 hours

(Samantha’s apartment.Samantha and Endora are sitting on her bed)

Endora:Well at least you have to days to do whatever you want to do

Samantha:I need to go see Darrin

Endora:I forbid you to

Samantha:Tough crap mother (Zaps herself to Mcmahon and Tate’s)

(Mcmahon and Tate’s.Everybody is sitting down)

Tina:It’s her

Jerry:Oh yeah

Frank:Hey Samantha!

Darrin:Samantha?

Rob:Samantha!

Larry:Samantha not now

Darrin:Samantha!

Samantha:Hi Darrin I need to talk to you

Darrin:Can I Larry?

Larry:Yes

Samantha:Darrin

Darrin:Samantha

(They kiss)

Samantha:I’m a witch and I’m going to die in 48 hours

(Silence)

Darrin:Oh (Laughs)

Samantha:It’s not funny

Darrin:Samatha witches don’t exist

Samantha:We do too!
Darrin:Prove it!

(Samantha twitches her nose to make Darrin fly)

Samantha:I’m a witch

Darrin:You are and your going to die

Samantha:I know

Darrin:Well not If I can help it

(Shockentra zaps herself to Mcmahon and Tate’s in a violent swirling tornado and freezes Darrin)

Shockentra:HOW DARE YOU TALK WITH THAT MORTAL!

Samantha:I’m sorry

Shockentra:You know what?

Samantha:What? I’m I NOT going to die?

Shockentra:You wish.Screw the dice you’re a dead witch!

(Shockentra chains Samantha to her so she can’t use her magic but she does by twitching her nose and sending a letter to her apartment where Darrin is destined to go next)

(Samantha’s apartment.Endora is reading the note.Darrin Enters)

Darrin:You must be Endora

Endora:And you must be Dagwood

Darrin:It’s Darrin

Endora:Whatever

Darrin:Where is the gateway to the other realm?

Endora:The Closet.Let’s go!

(Darrin and Endora run to the closet and get zapped into the castle where Samantha is being burned at the steak)

All but Samantha,Darrin and Endora (Chanting):Hell Hell Hell you’ll rot in hell for what you did!

Samantha:I WILL NOT!

Darrin:Samantha!

Samantha:Darrin!

Shockentra:Seize the Mortal!

(Eileen,Warren,Barry and Hank run to kill him with their sharp knifes)

Darrin:What kills Witches? WATER!

Shockentra:That only works in movies you stupid mortal!

Darrin:This is a movie!

(Darrin Dumps water on everybody except Endora and Samantha and Eileen and Shockentra who manage to get away)

Warren:Where are we?

Hank:Yeah

Barry:Yeah where are we?

Endora:You were al slaves to the evil ruler of all witches Shockentra

Darrin:Be free

(Endora lets Samantha off from the steak.She twitches her nose and sends Shockentra’s former slaves to a better place)

(A week later.Darrin and Samantha are now married.We see them get married and see everybody happy.We then see Shockentra and Eileen who are at Samantha’s apartment)

Shockentra:Make me younger

Eileen:Ok (Twitches her nose and makes Shockentra turn older)

Old Shockentra:I’M OLD! I said younger

Eileen:Ok (Twitches her nose and makes Shockentra turn into Serena)

Serena:Now I’m Serena you know that might work! Can you just make me young now though

Eileen:Ok (Twitches her nose and makes Shockentra turn into Young Shockentra)

Young Shockentra:That’s better

(Samantha and Darrin put her key in the lock.Shockentra twitches her nose to make her turn back into Serena)

Serena:Go hide!

(Eileen hides)
(Samantha,Darrin and Endora come in)

Samantha:SERENA!

Darrin:She looks JUST like you!

Samantha:She’s my twin sister my EVIL twin sister

Serena:Not really (Twitches her nose and becomes Shockentra)

All but Shockentra:SHOCKENTRA

Shockentra:In a Flesh!

(Eileen comes out)

Eileen:Me too baby!

Shockentra:Stop it your making me mad

Samantha:Shockentra I had it! (Twitches her nose and becomes a martial-arts superstar with the power to kick ass.She kicks Shockentra many,many times)

Shockentra:You can’t kill me Witchy-poo!

Samantha:I Loved H.R Puffenstuff! (Kicks Shockentra’s ass some more)

(Uncle Arthur comes in with a bucket of water and trips turninf Eileen good again)

Arthur:Oh my god I’m so sorry!

Samantha:You turned Eileen good again!

Eileen:I’m gonna twitch myself to a better place (Twitches her nose to go to a better place)

Shockentra:So What? I’m the power behind my game! And oh yeah I have Larry Tate and a few other people you might know on my side

Endora:She must have casted a spell

(Larry,Betty Ann,Tina,Gladys,Abner,Alice,Jerry,Rob and Frank appear and are under a trance)

Shockentra:Kill them!

(They attack Samantha,Darrin,Arthur and Endora)

Betty Ann:You guys should be killed!

Tina:You guys are dead

Gladys:I knew you were a witch
Abner:I don’t really care

(Arthur runs to the sink to get more water and sprays everyone except for Endora,Samantha,Darrin and Herself)

Shockentra:I’m Melting! I’m Melting!

(The next day.Samantha and Darrin are getting ready to move to the burbs)

Alice:Goodbye Samantha.You witch of a witch you are

Endora:Shake my hand

(Alice shakes Endora’s hand and now has no idea that she’s a witch.The same thing happens as we see Larry,Gladys,Abner,Tina,Betty Ann and the rest shaking her hand and now forgetting everything.Endora,Samantha and Darrin are now at the house in the burbs)

Samantha:Do we have too Mother?

Endora:Yes

(Darrin shakes Endora’s hand now knowing nothing about her being a witch)

(The next day.Darrin enters the house and Kisses Samantha who is making dinner)

Darrin:Why are you cooking so early?

Samantha:We have new neighbors who are coming

Darrin:Really? What are their names?

Samantha:Tony and Jeannie Nelson

(The Other Realm Graveyard.We see the tombstone that says Shockentra Witchycraft.Her hand comes up from the grave!)

Shockentra:I’m not dead YET Samantha Stephens!

(Closing Credits)

THE END

FOLrocks1
06-27-2002, 06:27 PM
It was pretty good....

I Dream of Jeannie
06-28-2002, 09:10 PM
I think it was good but you kinda added some stuff that I disagree with, mostly the stuff about well I'm not gonna say . But it'd be better if you took some of that stuff out. I really loved the part about the new neighbors that are coming are going to be Jeannie and Tony Nelson they rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sitcomwriter
06-30-2002, 09:04 PM
Thanks guys!

Since both replies are positive I'm going to make a sequal!

I'm going to call it "Another Bewitched Movie" Or possibly "Bewitched II:Born to Reign"

ClassicComedyFan2
07-09-2002, 04:01 PM
Sorry, but when Darrin used that bad word to describe Mr. Tate, I knew this wasn't true to the original. Another remake ruined by overmodernization, IMO.

BonniesLilCutiePie
07-17-2002, 05:32 PM
It's great! More!

Sitcomwriter
07-21-2003, 12:27 AM
A sequel will be coming in Mid-August.Get ready!