If this was asked already please give me the link thanx. Whenever I watch a murder show interview parents about their murdered son or daughter, but esp a daughter, i hear these similar stmnts: "when she entered a room the attention was on her" or 'she was a ray of sunshine". Or "she lit up the room when she came in!" The last 1 i hear the most! I heard this on UM, Dateline, 48 Hours, etc. Probably forensic files too.

In one UM murder case the husband/bf actually said she was "glowing" a few days before she got murdered! Wth!? Do you know if similar sayings?

“He/she would do anything for anybody.”

“I don’t think anyone disliked so-and-so. He/she was everyone’s friend.”

“She loved being a mom.”

“Murders just don’t happen in (insert small town here).”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure most of these victims were in fact very nice people who probably made a positive impact on others before their untimely deaths. However, call me cynical, but since the same general adjectives are used in nearly every episode of 48 Hours or Dateline, I often wonder if the producers encourage the families to kind of lay it on a bit thick to play up the tragedy or even feed them a few stock phrases like the ones I listed above.

Let’s be real here. As much as these shows help solve crime and highlight injustices (and as much as we all enjoy them), they are first and foremost television shows. The goal of any show to get ratings and attract viewers. Producers know they have to play to the viewers’ sense of moral outrage and reinforce certain biases. Murders aren’t supposed to happen to good, God-fearing people. Crimes aren’t supposed to happen in small town America, only in the slums of Chicago or NYC. You get the gist.

Sorry, I got a little off-topic. But this is a topic I’ve often thought about over the past few years as the true crime genre began to really take off.

"I don’t think anyone disliked so-and-so. He/she was everyone’s friend.” YES! Ive heard this before. A person said this was a female victims ult downfall and its true. She is too trustful and some weird shy guy makes inapr advances, she refuses, he snaps.

“She loved being a mom.” Yet lots of moms love that role. Yea, some moms are mean and get tired of their roles. Overall moms love their kids really no surprise. One saying i hate on tv and in true crimes and even in real life with my friends or a few classmates: they brag that their spouse is the BEST WIFE in the world. Mult people cant have the best kid, mother, wife, or husband in the world. I always thot that was very arrogant when i heard that on tv or from an old high school friend. Sometimes its from a dumb immature husband (my classmate) who is jobless AND ironically married to the best wife in the world. Hes sucking up too her via social media because he knows he has messed up many a time in their "perfect" marriage.

“Murders just don’t happen in (insert small town here).” .......and here i hear many siblings and children say murder is something thats SUPPOSED to happen in OTHER peoples families not in MINE. huh?!

............
Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure most of these victims were in fact very nice people who probably made a positive impact on others before their untimely deaths. However, call me cynical, but since the same general adjectives are used in nearly every episode of 48 Hours or Dateline, I often wonder if the producers encourage the families to kind of lay it on a bit thick to play up the tragedy or even feed them a few stock phrases like the ones I listed above.

Let’s be real here. As much as these shows help solve crime and highlight injustices (and as much as we all enjoy them), they are first and foremost television shows. The goal of any show to get ratings and attract viewers. Producers know they have to play to the viewers’ sense of moral outrage and reinforce certain biases. Murders aren’t supposed to happen to good, God-fearing people. Crimes aren’t supposed to happen in small town America, only in the slums of Chicago or NYC. You get the gist.

Sorry, I got a little off-topic. But this is a topic I’ve often thought about over the past few years as the true crime genre began to really take off.[/QUOTE]

Educated people or those w common sense know murder can happen anywhere because it does happen all over the world no matter the era. Sure its gotten worse in some aspects such as serial killers. But there were serial killers long long ago. We realize there is much homicide in the slums of big cities, however that doesnt mean only evil / murders occur there. Yet according to dateline & 48 hours it's a total shock come murder in their small city or town. Murder can and does happen to nice people too. Thus its always good to educate our kids about how EVERYONE is effected by evil. The older I got the more untrusting I became especially towds "nice" men n women. Same for myself= being too nice in the past allowed my roommates and co workers to use me to their advantage. Example is roommates w/o cars begging me for a ride AND not paying me for some gas money. lol. Cheapskates. Still was my fault. Even in many murder shows its the nice guys who end up being the killers of beautiful women. The nice platonic male roommate or the nice male neighbor. Sure there are the mean bully guys who murder too. I guess we are tired of them. Shock tv prefers the nice guy who explodes "for no reason at all" which is a big lie though. They hold in their feelings for months or yrs.

He/she was a good kid. Never gave us any trouble.

He/she would never commit suicide.

"She was happy all the time."

This is usually said of female victims more so than males, not sure why. Anyway, as someone who struggles with perfectionism I notice statements like these permeate our culture and it's very interesting, because they're so obviously false.

No one is "happy all the time."

No one is "friends with everybody."

No one is so selfless that they "never" think of themselves.

And finally, NO ONE "lights up a room" unless they are an electrician.

While I understand the intent behind these statements is good and kind, they have the effect of clouding anything in the victim's lives that could help solve the mystery.

He/she would never commit suicide.

I think (hope?) that line might be used a little less nowadays than it was in years past, thanks to increased education and awareness (for example, that there aren’t always clear warning signs of suicidal ideation) and the softening of some previously-hardline religious stances on the topic.

I just don't know why they wanted he she dead

I will keep searching until