Fred: "...I'd rather lose my right arm than miss my favorite TV program."

Hot Lips Hannigan: "Every once in awhile, a moment of truth."

Fred: "I WANT EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD TO KNOW IT!!"

Wilma: "It's like a dream."

Here's one from Fred Flintstone. "You're out of your rock picking mind!"

Fred: "Stand back, Barney. I'm going to put a little weight behind it".

Barney: "But Fred, you're a lot of weight!"

"YABBA-DABBA-DOO!!!"

Betty: "With full stomachs, those two are as calm as beached whales."

Fred: "It's my top and I'll blow it if I want to."

Fred: "Ohhh, boy. Women just don't dig funny gags."

Wilma: "Fred's got an appetite for money, too."

Barney: "I don't get it."
Betty: "And I hope you don't get it, whatever it is."

Barney: "Rich or poor, everybody's basically the same."

Fred: "Like I said, people are the same all over. All they want is a little fun in their life, and a little life in their fun."

Barney: (to Gazoo)"You're our best friend."
The Great Gazoo: "That's the nicest thing any dumb dumb's ever said to me."

Cliff Vandercave:
Do you know what we do up here?

Fred Flintstone:
Well, me and the guys have always wondered.

Cliff Vandercave:
We interface, Flintstone. We conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize.

Fred Flintstone:
When do we eat?

Barney and Fred: "Judo chop chop."

[Dino grabs one of the steaks off the grill and runs away]

Fred Flintstone:
Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?

Barney Rubble:
Yeah.

Fred Flintstone:
That one's yours. [Barney chases Dino]

Fred: "...so I bought Wilma the compactest compact I could find."

Man: "I made only one mistake today. I got out of bed."

Barney: "Cut it out, Fred. I'm just gonna have warmed-over leftovers."

Wilma: "Yes, Fred's a pretty big man in this town."

Wilma: (singing)
"Make your hubby happy,
Keep your hubby happy.
When he's a little chubby,
He's a happy pappy.

With Rockenschpiel!"

Barney: "But he runs a beanery!"

Barney Rubble:
It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?

Fred Flintstone:
Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.

Barney Rubble:
Yeah sure, but...

Barney Rubble:
[realizes what he said] Hey!

Barney: "A chip off the old block, huh, Fred?"
Fred: "More like a pebble off the old Flintstone!"
Wilma: "What a wonderful name. Pebbles Flintstone!"

Barney: "What does baby say? Do you like your name?"
Pebbles: (first line) "Abba dabba gooo!"
Fred: "Are there any questions?"

Barney Rubble:
Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two?

Fred Flintstone:
...I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.

Fred: "Boyyy, do I hate guys who can't take a joke."

Fred: (to Barney) "Out. Out, out, OUT!"
Barney: "I'm outin', I'm outin', I'm outin'."

Fred Flintstone:
We'll make new friends, there's 4,000 other people in this world!

Fred: Where's your get up and go?
Barney: It just got up and went.

In one episode, Fred says to Wilma and Betty when they are about to go bowling "We have a meeting of the Pin and Ball Committee."

If you know the episode where it was said, please post.

Fred: Read me another bedtime story, would you, Barney pal?

Barney: Sure, which one? "Uncle Wiggly" or "I Was a Teenage Brontosaurus"?

Pearl Slaghoople:
Somebody has to look after my daughter and grandchild, while you're out carousing with a bunch of Neanderthals.

Fred Flintstone:
Oh, really? Well, for your information, the lodge no longer accepts Neanderthals.

Pearl Slaghoople:
He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door, while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river.

Fred Flintstone:
I've got half a mind...!

Pearl Slaghoople:
Oh, don't flatter yourself!

Betty: Sometimes I just don't know what's the matter with men.
Barney: That's easy - you women!

Fred Flintstone:
Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Flagstone, and our daughter... uh... uh... isn't she beautiful? My family.

Fred: "... and I'm still without an invite."

Fred: "I wonder what the fine is for assault and battery on your boss."

Barney: "Okay; I'll bring my appetite."

Wilma: "Kindly spare us the editorial comment, will you, Fred?"

Mr. Slate: "Look at that walk. You can tell he's real class."

Fred Flintstone:
This is my office? This is my chair?

Cliff Vandercave:
Yeah, not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.

Fred Flintstone:
My desk?

Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble: Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble... / Are to blame for all our trouble...

Fred: "Barney, you've heard of people with chiseled features. (Hits Barney's head with a chisel.) How would you like to have a chiseled head?"
Barney: "Subtle, but I get it."
Fred: "Good."

Fred: "All this culture's killin' me!"

Wilma:
I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us.

Fred Flintstone:
At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.

Wilma:
And that is more important to you than 20 years of friendship?

Fred Flintstone:
It is on a hot day.

Fred: "Barney, that is the camel that broke my straw back."

Fred: Okay but don't forget to reverse the charges on your alabi
Alvin: Of Course

Can opener: "I like the food over at the Rubbles better."

TV director: "Why did I become a director? I wanted to become a bookkeeper."

Fred Flintstone: [playing cards] Barney, what would you do if you were holding the queen alone?

Barney Rubble: I don't know, Fred, it all depends on what time the king gets home.
[laughs]

Betty: "And that's not all that was bare."

Wilma: "In those days Fred would bet on anything."

Fred: "Where do these kids pick up this kind of stuff?"

Arnold: "Women? Those are the worst kind of girls."

Barney: "Old Fred has flipped his chili beans."

Fred: I love my dear sweet mother in-law. My mother in-law is a doll.
Attendant: Are you feeling alright, mister?
Fred: Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Attendant: Good. Good. You just stay in here and rest. That hot sun out there is a killer.
Fred: Poor guy, he must have been standing in it for hours.

Movie Producer: "That's the trouble with this country. Everybody wants to be a movie star."

Barney: "Be careful, Fred. These two guys have flipped their fern."

Fred: (laughs)"Well, it just goes to prove, anything is possible."

(Last line of the series):
Lt. Vander Rock: "Fire!... Fire!... Fire!"

“Fred Flintstone: [dressed as a nurse, trying to sneak Barney out past the Desk Nurse] You're doing fine, Mr Rubble. We'll take you outside around the grounds and get some fresh air.

Desk Nurse: [after they've passed] Wow, what a homely nurse.”

Barney: "Well, I never saw a clam any more steamed."

Wilma: Barney hasn't hit him yet.
Betty: Barney couldn't hit the floor with his hat!

Fred: "The repeats are better than the first run... Yabba, dabba, a-do."

“Fred Flintstone: Tell me, boss, I'm on pins and needles! What were you wearing?

Mr. Rockhead: [Puts on the bird head of the costume that he, unknown to Fred, exchanged with the costumer] I got it right here.

Fred Flintstone: Sure, I talked to you, we were standing at the refreshment bar and I was saying... [suddenly realizes it was Mr. Rockhead he said all that bad stuff to] Oh boy, what I was saying...

Mr. Rockhead: I'll refresh your memory... Quote: Vice president of the morons section of the Knucklehead Club.

[Fred starts to 'feel small' as he continues]
Mr. Rockhead: Home having dinner before the 5-oclock whistle. Penny Pincher. Shorty. Birdbrain. You were gonna bump me right on the beak! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! Well, what have you got to say for yourself?

Fred Flintstone: [in a high-pitched voice] Oh boy, me and my big mouth.”

Fred: "You know something, Barn? You're not as dumb as eyeryone thinks you are."

Fred: "Clean' em? For 25 bucks you should gold plate 'em."

Fred: "Daddy's home."

Wilma: "Barney hasn't hit him yet."
Betty: "Barney couldn't hit the floor with his hat!"

Cliff Vandercave:
And in the words of my beloved mother: I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.

Fred:

Fred Flintstone:
Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fliiii - [falls backwards out of his chair]

Dictabird:
Are there six or seven I's in 'Fliiii - '?

Barney: [upon seeing an assembled mastodon skeleton after sneaking into the Brickrock home] Your suspicions were correct, Fred. There she is - Agatha Brickrock with her outside removed.
Fred: That's not Agatha; that's a mastodon.
Barney: A whats-a-don?
Fred: A big thing with a lumpy body, thick legs, a long nose, floppy ears, and tusks.
Barney: Sounds like Agatha to me.

Weirdly Gruesome: "Sounds repulsively attractive."

Creepela Gruesome: "It'll be nice to have our own dilapidated house again, Weirdly."

Fred: "A giant black widow spider!"

Fred: "Ohhh, no! It's the kid's pet!"

Barney: "Face it, Fred. You had a nightmare during the day."

Betty: "A smart cat would leave that bird alone."

Barney: "I don't get it!"
Betty: "I don't want it."

Weirdly: "...they're revoltingly friendly."

Fred: "Spiders can't take it."

“Wilma Flintstone: Don't tell me you've never married, Greta. You were the most popular girl in school.

Greta: Oh I guess my standards were too high. I played hard to get and, well... I just didn't get got.”

Mrs. Slate: "This city is overrun with charity organizations,..."

Mr. Slate: "You've got the touch, Flintstone, a born leader of men."

Fred: "I guess I was just born with talented feet!"

Barney: "Yeah! Guys like us don't grow on trees."

Fred: (to Pebbles) "Daddy always keeps his word, dear."
Wilma: "Especially when Mommy makes him."

“Barney Rubble: At least I don't have to hide under the bed if the prowler shows up!

Fred Flintstone: Who said I did?

Barney Rubble: Wilma told Betty.

Fred Flintstone: She heard a noise and tried to get under the bed.

Barney Rubble: And she couldn't. You were there first.

Fred Flintstone: All right funny man, I'll prove to you you're wasting your money. Tonight, after you go to sleep, I'll sneak in dressed as a prowler. Then what'll you think your wife will do.

Barney Rubble: She'll say 'hello Fred. Why steal it. Just borrow it as usual'.”

Fred: "Ohh, boy. What else could go wrong?"
(Yogi Bear and Boo Boo are sitting on a tree branch above Fred.)
Yogi: "Now you see, why I'm smarter than the average Fred Flintstone, Boo Boo."
(Yogi uses a rock to steal the Flintstones' picnic basket.)
Yogi: "The fastest way I know, to get a pic-a-nic basket."

(First line of the series.)
Fred: "Ahhh, boy. Good old Sunday."

“Barney Rubble: [while looking over the hot piano] Hold it? Do you get a guarantee with it?

Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie: Certainly. I guarantee it's a piano. And when Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie makes that guarantee he stands by it.”
— Barney Rubble

Desk Clerk: "Well, Mr. Flintstone, you look like you've been living off the... (chuckles)fat of the land."
Fred: "One more crack like that, and you'll be living with a fat lip."

“Barney Rubble: At least I don't have to hide under the bed if the prowler shows up!

Fred Flintstone: Who said I did?

Barney Rubble: Wilma told Betty.

Fred Flintstone: She heard a noise and tried to get under the bed.

Barney Rubble: And she couldn't. You were there first.

Fred Flintstone: All right funny man, I'll prove to you you're wasting your money. Tonight, after you go to sleep, I'll sneak in dressed as a prowler. Then what'll you think your wife will do.

Barney Rubble: She'll say 'hello Fred. Why steal it. Just borrow it as usual'.”

Wilma: "Oh, that Barney is so polite."

Fred: "What a day. What. A. Day."

Betty: "Oh, boy. He's a load to lug around."

Doctor: "Have no fear, medical science is here."

Barney: "...I hate Frederick!"

Fred: "This one has just the music, which allows me to sing."

Record Player: "Yuch! I hate opera."

Betty: "Some poor mastodon is caught in the tar pit."

Barney: "Frederick. Yech!"

Man: "Good old Fred! There's no one like him."

Fred: (to bartender)"...I'm lookin' for a private eye."
Bartender: "Yeah?"
Fred: "Yeah. Maybe you know him; Perry Gunite."
Bartender: "Ohh, sure. The daddy of 'em all. Hey, there he is now."
(Perry Gunite enters the bar.)
Bartender: "Yes, sir,Mr. Gunite, what'll it be?"
Perry: "Rocks a la rocks."
Bartender: "Yes, sir. Comin' right up."

Perry: "Bartender!... Put that in a dirty glass."

Barney: Say, Fred, ain't it time for the big fight?
Fred: Hey-hey, I'm glad you remembered! You fix the chairs. I'll get the soda and popcorn.
Wilma: I didn't know there was a fight scheduled.
Barney: [while moving two chairs over to the window looking into the neighbors' home] You kiddin'? Tonight's for the championship. Oh, it should be a real grudge bout.
Betty: Heavyweight or lightweight?
Barney: Both. A heavyweight versus a lightweight.
Wilma: Why are you putting the chairs over there by the window? The TV set is here.
Fred: This is not on TV. It's a closed-circuit.
Betty: But who's fighting?
Barney: The new neighbors - Mrs. and Mr. Brickrock.
Wilma: Fred! You don't intend to eavespeep?
Fred: Ho-ho-hoooo, I wouldn't miss tonight's bout for anything. Those two have been putting on the greatest fight of the century. Last night's bout was a doozy. Did you ever hear such hysterics? All that screaming and shrieking in that high voice?
Barney: Yeah, I thought he'd never stop!
Betty: Oh, that's terrible! You mean that meek little man hit's his wife?
Fred: No-o-o, in the last three bouts, he didn't even lay a glove on her. He's strictly a defensive fighter.
Barney: You'd think she'd let him win once in a while just to keep up his interest.

Wilma: "Or more accurately, the saber-tooth tiger is out of his cage."

Fred: "How's the air up there, girls?"
Wilma: "It's getting thin, Fred."

[Fred to neighbor Alvin Brickrock on using the telephone]

Fred: Okay but don't forget to reverse the charges on your alabi
Alvin: Of Course.

Fred: (to Barney)"The only thing you've got up your sleeve is your arm."

Fred: "I don't know why I stay friends with that guy."

Fred: "Women. (pause) No musical appreciation at all."

Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble: [singing] Here we come / On the run / With a burger on a bun / And a dab of coleslaw on the side / Oh, your tastes we will tickle / With a cold dill pickle / And all of our potatoes are French fried, fried, fried / Our burgers can't be beat / Cuz we grind our own meat / Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind!

Messenger: "Oh, well. Somebody wins, somebody loses."

Fred: "Wilma, you're a genius!"

Barney Rubble: [upon seeing an assembled mastodon skeleton after sneaking into the Brickrock home] Your suspicions were correct, Fred. There she is - Agatha Brickrock with her outside removed.

Fred Flintstone: That's not Agatha; that's a mastodon.

Barney Rubble: A whats-a-don?

Fred Flintstone: A big thing with a lumpy body, thick legs, a long nose, floppy ears, and tusks.

Barney Rubble: Sounds like Agatha to me.

Car wash brush: "The work's wet, but it's clean."

Fred Flintstone: [while reading from an issue of "Weird Detective" magazine] Hmmmm, here's the "Crook of the Month" - "Fifteen thousand reward for information leading to apprehension of Albert Bonehart - wanted for questioning in disappearance of three former wives - Bonehart's fourth wife was last seen in a railroad station - in a valise, a ladies hat box and an executive's brief case." Well, that's one way of sending your wife to the country.

Fred: How can you be so stupid?
Barney: Hey, that's not very nice. Say you're sorry.
Fred: I'm sorry you're stupid.

Television Producer: [Having discovered Fred and wanting to cast him in the role of the loud-mouthed husband in the new show, "The Frogmouth"] That voice, that voice! He's the perfect Frogmouth! Get that frog! I mean, get that man! Get him up here right away! So you're Wilma's husband. I knew it, I knew it! One look at her, and I knew it! Tell me, Fred, did you ever do any acting?

Fred Flintstone: Well, heh-heh, one year I was in the spring play at Public School 158.

Television Producer: And you were Hamlet? Uh, Romeo? Er, King Arthur?

Fred Flintstone: Na-a-aw, no, none of those things. Some of the kids were trees, some were flowers, some were butterflies...

Television Producer: And what were you?

Fred Flintstone: I was a slug.

Television Producer: It figures, it figures...

Fred: "Boy, that Betty and Barney. What a screwball couple."

Nurse: "Well! Some father he'll make."

Fred: "She's too young to be touched by the cruelties of life."

Fred: "This place would make a mausoleum seem like an amusement park."

[Fred goes to try out the Barney-copter and doesn't get far off the ground]

Barney Rubble: Hey, you're too fat, Fred!

Fred: Where's your get up and go?
Barney: It just got up and went.

“I'm not talking about Wilma's mother. I'm talking about that antiseptic refugee from the psycho ward. Nurse Frightenshale.”
— Fred Flintstone

“All right. All right. I can't make it as fast as you spend it. I admit it, so let's call off the contest!”
— Fred Flintstone

Hot Lips Hannigan: "Every once in awhile, a moment of truth."

You left out the best part ... the lead-up to that quote:

Hot Lips (old guy pretending to be a young beatnik): Skoodoly-wawawa. Contact? (Holds out his hand.)
Wilma (dressed as a teeny-bopper): I'll give you some contact, you old goat! (Whacks him with her purse.)

:D

TV Host : Hi, Peek-a-Boo fans! As you know, last week was one of our funniest shows, and we've received thousands of letters asking us to repeat it! [chuckles]%
Fred: Oh, no; they're repeating it!
TV Host: So, tonight, we'll show some of the funniest scenes from...the bachelor party!
Wilma: Fred!
Betty: Barney!
Wilma: Why, they told us they're going to a...FRED FLINTSTONE!
Betty: BARNEY RUBBLE!

Wilma: "Dinner's ready!"

Wilma: (to Betty)"It sounds like a revolution! Let's go see."

Fred: "I hope all you wives out there are taking notes."

“All right. All right. I can't make it as fast as you spend it. I admit it, so let's call off the contest!”
— Fred Flintstone

Barney Rubble : You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.

Fred Flintstone : What a load of bunk! My father ate it every day of his life and he lived to the ripe old age of thirty-eight.

Fred: I love my dear sweet mother in-law. My mother in-law is a doll.
Attendant: Are you feeling alright, mister?
Fred: Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Attendant: Good. Good. You just stay in here and rest. That hot sun out there is a killer.
Fred: Poor guy, he must have been standing in it for hours.

Fred: (to Barney)"You hearr that? He said we're sensational!"

“Fred Flintstone: Hi there young fella, what's your name?

Alvin: Alvin.

Fred Flintstone: Alvin what?

Alvin: Alvin... thank you.

Fred Flintstone: No, I mean your other name. What does your mommy call your daddy?

Alvin: She don't call him anything, she likes him!

Fred Flintstone: [getting irritated] Well, what does the name say on your mailbox?

Alvin: U.S. Mail.

Fred Flintstone: Say, isn't your father A.A. Carborundum?

Alvin: Yeah, so what?

Fred Flintstone: Well, do you know who I am?

Alvin: You mean you don't know that, either?

Fred Flintstone: Smart aleck kid.”

Fred: "Look, if I want laughs, I'll call Yogi Bear."

Fred: (sarcastically)"Very funny. You ought to be on TV."

Doctor's Nurse: "Boy. The trouble men get into."

Doctor: "The bowling alley is down the street."
Fred: "We know that! We want to get rid of the bowling ball."

Barney: "I can't do it, Fred. I love that ball!"

{Fred and Barney accidentally sign up for a three-year hitch in the army!]

General: Congratulations you just broke the record for going over the hill...3 minutes and 25 seconds![Fred and Barney try to run away after signing up.]
General: Are You crazy? I know a lot of GIs who would love to put a sergeant into orbit!

Fred: "I don't know what I got, but Dino is sure crazy about it."

Fairy Godmother: "My, my! He's a big one."

Fred: "What do you mean, I ain't got no class?"

“Fred Flintstone: [after Wilma is given Pebbles for the first time] Awwww, she looks like a chip off the ol' block.

Barney Rubble: Actually, more like a pebble off the ol' flintstone.

Wilma Flintstone: What a beautiful name. Pebbles Flintstone.

Pebbles Flintstone: [Her first words ever] Yabba. Dabba. Goo.”

Barney: "Cute little pup you got there."

Charlie: "Sorry, man. No money, no ticket. I can't sell on credit."

Fred: "Can you beat that? What a sweet little guy."

Duster: "What the heck? The pay is good."

Betty: "You haven't cleaned that goat's nest since we moved here."

Barney: "No wonder they never take their rings off."

Wilma and Betty: (together)"Charrrge it!"

Betty: "Even Perry Masonry couldn't clear that up."

Wilma: (angrily)"Men. They sure stick together."

Barney: "I don't blame Fred for gettin' nervous. After what happened."

Wilma: "Oh, no. Not that sleepwalking routine again."

[Fred goes to try out the Barney-copter and doesn't get far off the ground]

Barney Rubble: Hey, you're too fat, Fred!

Peaches: (to Fred)"... my deal calls for three square meals a day."

Fred: "Listen, Peaches, I hired you to take care of my house, not to eat me out of it."

Wilma: "Fred, let me call Mother."
Fred: "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

Fred: "Somewhere in the world, there must be a housekeeper for us."

Bank Teller: "Stop her! It's Grandma Dynamite!"

Betty: "At a time like this, a girl needs her mother."

Bread Knife: "Boy. You've got some crust."

Wilma: "Are you sure it was a park you met her in and not a minefield?"

Grandma Dynamite: "All right, coppers, try this one on for size."
(G.D. throws a lit stick of dynamite out of Fred's car.)

Pearl Slaghoople: "Open the door, Wilma, so I can put out the trash!"
(Pearl throws Sonny out of the Flintstone's house.)
Pearl: "Keep the door open, Wilma. I've got another load of trash!"
(Pearl walks toward Grandma Dynamite, who leaves the Flintstone house.)

Oh, go on, mother.
Shake hands with Fred.

Yeah, mother,
let's be friends.

I'm sorry
about what happened.

Oh, alright,
for your sake, Wilma.

Here.

[Bones cracking]

Ooh!

Mother, you shouldn't
have done that.

“Wilma Flintstone: [arguing about money] I work hard around here and I'm willing to do more! If necessary, I'll get a job to help out.

Fred Flintstone: Oh, that's a hot one!

Wilma Flintstone: What's that supposed to mean?

Fred Flintstone: [pointing his finger in her face] You are too smart to leave this cushy set up you have right now. Truth is, you like things just the way they are. You...

Fred Flintstone: [Wilma chomps down on his finger] YOWTCH! [to the audience] Now what brought that on?”

Betty: "I'd better get home and get out of this disguise."

Greta Gravel: "Oh, my, I do like a good sense of humor."

Betty: "They don't build houses like they used to."

Turtle: "Watch it, Charlie, wait for the bell!"

Barney: "This just isn't one of my days."

Fred: "One more crack out of you, Barney, and there'll be a new shot coming _________."

Cop: "And I'm talkin' about screwballs."

Fire Hydrant: "What fires? The whole town's made of rock."

Wilma Flintstone: I work hard all day, too, and what do I get? A lot of yak from you. You at least get out everyday, see things, talk to people. I never get out of this cave.

- It's payday.
- Payday?

You mean crumb day?

A day they throw
me a few crumbs

for working like
a slave all week?

Barney works just
as hard as you do

but he always
comes home cheerful.

15 Best Quotes From The Flintstones (https://screenrant.com/flintstones-quotes-still-hilarious-today/)

The Flintstones may have first aired all the way back in 1960, but this prehistoric animated classic is truly timeless and just as funny in 2019.

Fred Flintstone: I love my dear sweet mother in-law. My mother in-law is a doll.

Attendant: Are you feeling alright, mister?

Fred Flintstone: Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.

Attendant: Good. Good. You just stay in here and rest. That hot sun out there is a killer.

Fred Flintstone: Poor guy, he must have been standing in it for hours.

Gary Granite. Who's he?

He is a big movie star.

And if you didn't happen to spend
all your spare time in a bowling alley...

you'd know who he is.

Barney: Frederick! Frederick! I HATE FREDERICK!

Fred. My goodness, he's a minute early.
He must have gone through a red light.

Fred Flintstone: [when Barney suggests he tell the truth about a crazy situation] What is this mania you have with telling the truth? You must have been weaned on sodium pentathol or something.

Peace and fresh air up here!

And all you lucky.

20,000 buys this beauty.
Tee off from the front lawn.

Are you kidding?
This isn't worth 20,000.

I'm letting you have it
for 10,000.

Asking 10,000 for
that crummy shack!

It ain't worth
5,000, either.

“Fred Flintstone: [playing cards] Barney, what would you do if you were holding the queen alone?

Barney Rubble: I don't know, Fred, it all depends on what time the king gets home.
[laughs]”

Wait till you see
what l brought home for dinner.

Fred, if you think l'm gonna stuff pheasant
at this hour--

-lt's not pheasant and l'll do the cooking.
-What did you buy?

A couple of dinosaur steaks, New York cut,
two inches thick.

-They look a little stringy to me.
-Don't be a wise guy. They're gone.

Barney Rubble: [as Alvin Brickrock returns home to find Barney and Fred in his home] Eddy-frey, when's the op-cays oming-cay?

Fred Flintstone: I couldn't ind-fay an op-cay, Arney-bay.

Barney Rubble: Oy vey

Barney Rubble: [as Alvin Brickrock returns home to find Barney and Fred in his home] Eddy-frey, when's the op-cays oming-cay?

Fred Flintstone: I couldn't ind-fay an op-cay, Arney-bay.

Barney Rubble: Oy vey

I remember that pig-latin exchange. Glad somebody knows it verbatim. Who knew Barney was Jewish? ;)

cd

No, no, no, Dino.
You can't come with us.

This is an adult movie,
and they don't allow pets.

Barney Rubble: Hey, you're too fat, Fred!

Fred Flintstone: Yeah, you laugh. You'll see, Barn, they know me in this bank, they'll help me right a way.

Fred: "Boy. There's a guy with no Christmas spirit at all."

Fred: "You get it, Pebbles? That's a joke."
Pebbles: "Yech."

Barney: "Right, Fred. Ever since I've known you, I've watched you pad it from the inside."

Fred: "Hey! We're leaving the ground!"
Elf #2: "It's the only way to fly."

Elf #1: "Nobody gets left out. That's Santa's promise."

Barney: "I've gotta hand it to you, Fred. A real Santa couldn't have done it better."

Fred: "Nobody can ever tell me there's no Santa Clause."

Fred: The ring wasn't in the flour canister. So it's got to be in the batter. [slowly peeks around the corner]
Wilma: FRED!
Fred: AAH!
Wilma: What are you peeking around corners for?

Fred: "How can you be so stupid?"

Barney: "Hey, that's not very nice. Say you're sorry."

Fred: "I'm sorry you're stupid."

Fred: Okay but don't forget to reverse the charges on your alibi.
Alvin: Of course.

I fixed this
soft-boiled pterodactyl egg

but you'll have to hurry.

Stop worryin', Wilma.
I got plenty of time.

Now, where's the morning paper?

'Still on the porch, I guess.'

Hey, Dino. Fetch the paper,
boy. Bring the paper.

I fixed this
soft-boiled pterodactyl egg

but you'll have to hurry.

Stop worryin', Wilma.
I got plenty of time.

Now, where's the morning paper?

'Still on the porch, I guess.'

Hey, Dino. Fetch the paper,
boy. Bring the paper.

"When it comes to eating, I’m just a cave man at heart!"
Fred Flintstone

"Hey, Fred! Did you see that? A dinosaur just tried to eat my sandwich!"
Barney Rubble

Wilma Flintstone: I work hard all day, too, and what do I get? A lot of yak from you. You at least get out everyday, see things, talk to people. I never get out of this cave.

"Life is a mixture of hard work and fun with a splash of craziness."
Barney Rubble

"No one does it better than a Flintstone!"
Fred Flintstone

Fred Flintstone: Where's your get up and go?
Barney Rubble: It just got up and went.

Barney Rubble has been my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade.

Fred Flintstone

Barney Rubble: [upon seeing an assembled mastodon skeleton after sneaking into the Brickrock home] Your suspicions were correct, Fred. There she is - Agatha Brickrock with her outside removed.
Fred Flintstone: That's not Agatha; that's a mastodon.
Barney Rubble: A whats-a-don?
Fred Flintstone: A big thing with a lumpy body, thick legs, a long nose, floppy ears, and tusks.
Barney Rubble: Sounds like Agatha to me.

“Betty, where’s my clean loin cloth?” – Barney Rubble

Barney Rubble: Say, Fred, ain't it time for the big fight?
Fred Flintstone: Hey-hey, I'm glad you remembered! You fix the chairs. I'll get the soda and popcorn.
Wilma Flintstone: I didn't know there was a fight scheduled.
Barney Rubble: [while moving two chairs over to the window looking into the neighbors' home] You kiddin'? Tonight's for the championship. Oh, it should be a real grudge bout.
Betty Rubble: Heavyweight or lightweight?
Barney Rubble: Both. A heavyweight versus a lightweight.
Wilma Flintstone: Why are you putting the chairs over there by the window? The TV set is here.
Fred Flintstone: This is not on TV. It's a closed-circuit.
Betty Rubble: But who's fighting?
Barney Rubble: The new neighbors - Mrs. and Mr. Brickrock.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! You don't intend to eavespeep?
Fred Flintstone: Ho-ho-hoooo, I wouldn't miss tonight's bout for anything. Those two have been putting on the greatest fight of the century. Last night's bout was a doozy. Did you ever hear such hysterics? All that screaming and shrieking in that high voice?
Barney Rubble: Yeah, I thought he'd never stop!
Betty Rubble: Oh, that's terrible! You mean that meek little man hit's his wife?
Fred Flintstone: No-o-o, in the last three bouts, he didn't even lay a glove on her. He's strictly a defensive fighter.
Barney Rubble: You'd think she'd let him win once in a while just to keep up his interest.

Miss Stone: I’m worried, Cliff, I think Mr. Flintstone is smarter than we thought.
Cliff Vandercave: Ha. He’d have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.

- Flintstones

Television Producer: [Having discovered Fred and wanting to cast him in the role of the loud-mouthed husband in the new show, "The Frogmouth"] That voice, that voice! He's the perfect Frogmouth! Get that frog! I mean, get that man! Get him up here right away! So you're Wilma's husband. I knew it, I knew it! One look at her, and I knew it! Tell me, Fred, did you ever do any acting?
Fred Flintstone: Well, heh-heh, one year I was in the spring play at Public School 158.
Television Producer: And you were Hamlet? Uh, Romeo? Er, King Arthur?
Fred Flintstone: Na-a-aw, no, none of those things. Some of the kids were trees, some were flowers, some were butterflies...
Television Producer: And what were you?
Fred Flintstone: I was a slug.
Television Producer: It figures, it figures...

- Wilma Flintstone: I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us.
– Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.
– Wilma Flintstone: And that is more important to you than 20 years of friendship?
– Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day.

Fred Flintstone: I love my dear sweet mother in-law. My mother in-law is a doll.
Attendant: Are you feeling alright, mister?
Fred Flintstone: Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Attendant: Good. Good. You just stay in here and rest. That hot sun out there is a killer.
Fred Flintstone: Poor guy, he must have been standing in it for hours.

I hate to bust your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who’s gonna live in them?(while holding a miniature model of houses the quarry plans to build)

I can't make it as fast as you spend it. I admit it, so let's call off the contest!” — Fred Flintstone

“- Barney Rubble: It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.”

Fred Flintstone: I know what you're going to say. I don't know anything about all of this, right?
Wilma Flintstone: Right!
Fred Flintstone: Has that ever stopped me from being an expert before?

No. I figured being married
is like eating stew.

The less you know
about what's in it

the better you like it.

Fred: The ring wasn't in the flour canister. So it's got to be in the batter. [slowly peeks around the corner]
Wilma: FRED!
Fred: AAH!
Wilma: What are you peeking around corners for?

"I'm Sorry You're Stupid."
Fred Flintstone

Fred: Hey, maybe a drink of 412-up will help! [Barney is still hiccuping] Hold it Barney! Here, drink this! [Forcibly pours the concoction down Barney's throat]
Barney: Yuck! Woo, that tastes awful! I, uh, I feel kinda funny, Fred!
Fred: What do you mean, funny? [Barney starts wobbling and making weird noises] Barney! What's the matter? [Barney disappears] Oh boy... Barney, where are you?
Barney: I'm right in front of you! Boy, you must need glasses!
Fred: Huh?
Barney: That drink did the trick, Fred! The hiccups have completely disappeared!
Fred: And you with them, Barney! You're invisible!

This cave is messier than a brontosaurus after snack time! – Betty Rubble

Betty: Of all the dumb tricks you stupid pesky blockhead Fred Flintstone that trampoline business takes the cake. I'm very disappointed in you. And you've deliberately disobeyed me… I do not want to jump the trampoline again. Do you hear me. This trampoline is for kids.
Barney: Yes Wilma! Watch your mouth and stop calling me stupid pesky blockhead.

"If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose."

Barney Rubble: [as Alvin Brickrock returns home to find Barney and Fred in his home] Eddy-frey, when's the op-cays oming-cay?
Fred Flintstone: I couldn't ind-fay an op-cay, Arney-bay.
Barney Rubble: Oy vey.

"You earthlings are so primitive." - The Great Gazoo

Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble: [singing] Here we come / On the run / With a burger on a bun / And a dab of coleslaw on the side / Oh, your tastes we will tickle / With a cold dill pickle / And all of our potatoes are French fried, fried, fried / Our burgers can't be beat / Cuz we grind our own meat / Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind! / Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble... / Are to blame for all this trouble... [spoken] And if they think that we'll forget... [sung] They're outta their mind, mind, mind, mind, mi-i-ind!