Oscar: (to Casey)"A sports reference. God made you right."

Casey: (to Felix)"You met your wife on your birthday?"

Oscar: "He says the only thing they can't contain is his enthusiasm for containers."

Emily: "They're public records. Anyone can look."

Oscar: "I can't move. My body's at war with itself."

Oscar: "Thank you, Felix. That was the perfect ending to an otherwise crappy day."

Oscar: "...a melting pot of people too crazy to live anywhere else."

Dani: "I hate this city."

Felix: "Someone has found enlightenment, and doesn't want their parking validated."

Oscar: "You're upsetting the balance of nature."

Oscar: "And that's how we do it in New York."

Oscar: Wait is this all part of your master plan?
Gabby: What do you mean?
Oscar: We get back together, you divorce me, and you get half of the half I have left?

Chris Webber: Why is the little guy so troubled?
Dani: He's cranky, he needs a nap.