MrCleveland
08-13-2019, 11:46 PM
Announcer: It's Time Once Again for Sitcom Family Feud! Now here's your host...The Ghost of Richard Dawson!
Richard Dawson enters.
Richard: Welcome once again to Sitcom Family Feud. Now back with us again...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: Hey Tony, how are things?
Tony: I fell last month, so how do you think I freakin' feel?
Richard: The same!
Tony: Oh shut up, Dick!
Richard: How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You I Hate That Name?
Tony: **** You!
Richard: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Tony: Yes...but I did more than that with my mouth with other mothers!
Richard: I don't think I wanna know...next, we have Helen Warner...
Helen: Don't blame Tony...he gets that way a lot.
Richard: It seems you have to bring home the bacon now.
Helen: Yes...but I told Reverend Roberts about my dilemma and he makes sure I get some food for Tony.
Richard: Is he related to Oral Roberts.
Helen: Yes, but he doesn't want to reveal his first name.
Richard: I see...next we have Paul.
Paul: I now have to be at the house every Sunday...I might as well move back home...and I lost hours at my jobs...and my landlady threw some of my things away...
Richard: It sucks to be you, next we have Dustin...
Dustin: Don't mind Paul, he wants me fired from our radio show.
Richard: Why does he want to do that?
Dustin: Because I get on his nerves!
Paul: Shut Up!
Richard: Finally, we have Margaret...so I heard you had to put your cat Rita to sleep.
Margaret: Yes...she was a nice cat.
Richard: Why was she named Rita?
Margaret: because she was grey and white, like the cat Rita from Animaniacs.
Richard: I dunno what an Animaniacs is, but it sounds 90's...and speaking of which, from the TV Show Home Improvement...The Taylors!
The Taylors enter.
Richard: Now here's the bread-winner from The Taylors, Tim...you're also known as "The Tool Man".
Tim: That's right, I have a show called Tool Time, I'm the host, I use MORE POWER, I always eat my beans, and RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR!
Richard: I think I've seen the show...I really love that Al Guy.
Tim: UUH?
Richard: I think of him like Bob Vila.
Tim: Al? Oh yes...we ALL Love Al!
Richard: Next, we have graduate of Psychology from The University of Michigan...
Tony: (Off Camera) BOOOOO!
Richard: ...Jill Taylor! You deserve a hug...
Richard Hugs Jill
Jill: Thanks...I didn't realize you had an Ohioan on this show!
Tony: (Off Camera) Go Buckeyes!
Jill: Well...I am a graduate from The University of Michigan and I'm about to get a job in Chicago.
Richard: Sounds like you have it together. Next, we have the oldest son Bradley Michael Taylor.
Brad: Hello Richard, I play for the U.S. Men's team in soccer...we almost won the Gold Cup this year and we hope to be back in The World Cup in the year 2022.
Richard: It's in Qatar, isn't it?
Brad: Yep...I'm also gonna get married to Samantha Haynes real soon.
Richard: I wish you the best...next, we go to Randall Michael Taylor. I heard you went to Costa Rica for about a year.
Randy: Yep...I'm now a journalist in Chicago and I too may wanna settle-down with Lauren.
Richard: I wish for the best...and finally all dressed in black is Marcus Jason Taylor.
Mark: I just love Black...I also like Punk Rock and cooking...I even had a spot with Guy Fieri on his show. That was fun.
Richard: You also have a Black Belt in Karate.
Mark: Yep...I also teach Karate at a school just down my street. Detroit needs people who are self-defensive.
Richard: With that...let's play the feud!
Tim and Tony walk toward the main podium where Richard is at.
Richard: Okay, we surveyed 100 people and we got 7 answers up there...Name a type of Tool.
Tony Buzzes In.
Tony: The one I have in my pants!
Richard: Do I even wanna know?
Tony: Hey Timmy...maybe Markie may know that band Tool...
Tim: I think he does...
Richard: I dunno if it's up there, but...is it the tool that I won't mention?
BUZZ
Tony: WHAT?
Richard: I think they may mean a tool like a hammer, wrench, something like that...Tim...Name a type of Tool.
Tim: Since you mentioned one...A Hammer!
Richard: Okay...Show Me Hammer!
25 People Said "Hammer", It's the #1 Answer.
Richard: Okay Tim, will your family Pass or Play?
Tim: We're gonna Play! RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR!
Tony: And I Just Passed...I Had Beans Last Night...OOH...Smells Like Flint, Michigan!
Richard: Okay...let's get away from him...Jill...Name a type of Tool.
Jill: How about a wrench? Just Like (starts to sing) Amazing Wrench, How Sweet Thy Sound...
Richard: Careful...we may lose some viewers...okay, is wrench up there?
24 people said "wrench", it's the #2 answer
Richard: Okay Brad...Name a type of tool.
Brad: I'm gonna say...screwdriver.
Richard: Is there a screwdriver up there?
20 people said "Screwdriver", It's the #3 Answer
Richard: Randy...Name a type of Tool.
Randy: I'm gonna say...Ratchet.
Richard: Is a ratchet up there?
5 People said "Ratchet", It's the #6 Answer.
Richard: Mark...Name a type of tool.
Mark: I used this a few times...a saw!
Richard: You look like you would use a saw, so let's see...saw!
20 people said "Saw", It's the #4 answer.
Richard: We now go back to Tim...now...Name a Type of Tool....
Tim: A Binford Product That Does Everything...Heidi...Bring Me My Big Binford!
Heidi Walks-In with a Binford Tool
Heidi: Here You Go Tim.
Tim: Thank You Heidi!
Tony: (Off-Camera) Oh Heidi-Ho!
Heidi: You Wish...
Heidi walks-out.
Tim: Now This Is A Toll Everyone Should Have Because It Has...MORE POWER! RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR!
Richard: Give Me...Whatever That Thing Tim Has....
BUZZ
Tim: UUH?
Richard: I'm Sorry...But They Didn't Count That! Warners, do you have an answer for the steal?
The Warners debate whether a drill or awl should be the answer for the steal.
Paul bangs the gavel that he got from Harry Stone ofNight Court.
Paul: Can You Just Listen To Me For One Second...The answer is "Awl"!
Tony: What the **** is an awl?
Paul: It's like a screwdriver, but you use it if you wanna nail something like a picture.
Tony: I'm gonna say...a drill...I'll take the consequence!
Richard: A Drill...okay...is drill up there?
5 people said "Drill", It's the #5 answer.
Richard: Then...what was the final answer?
1 person said "Awl" It's the #7 answer
Richard: We now must say goodbye to the Taylors...
Jill: A Binford Tool...You're Pathetic!
Tim: Hey Tone...wanna go to Big Mike's after this?
Tony: I Don't Think So, Tim!
Richard: It's only because he's an Ohioan...now...who's gonna play Fast Money?
Everyone but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is! Paul Is!
Paul walks toward Richard Dawson.
Paul: I have to do this every game!
Richard: Look...you have a chance to win $20,000...if you don't stump our judges. Now let's get 15 seconds up there!
:15 is seen.
Richard: The clock starts when I end the first question...Name a noisy bird...
Paul: A Puffin!
BUZZ
Richard: Name a place in the house...
Paul: The Mud Room!
BUZZ
Richard: Name an American Artist...
Paul: Maxfield Parrish!
BUZZ
Richard: Name a type of cheese...
Paul: Casu Marzu!
BUZZ
Richard: Name a type of tree.
Paul: Manchineel Tree!
BUZZ
Richard: Again...you stumped our judges, but I wouldn't feel that bad...you get to try again tomorrow as we play Sitcom Family Feud!
Richard Dawson enters.
Richard: Welcome once again to Sitcom Family Feud. Now back with us again...The Warners!
The Warners enter.
Richard: Hey Tony, how are things?
Tony: I fell last month, so how do you think I freakin' feel?
Richard: The same!
Tony: Oh shut up, Dick!
Richard: How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You I Hate That Name?
Tony: **** You!
Richard: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Tony: Yes...but I did more than that with my mouth with other mothers!
Richard: I don't think I wanna know...next, we have Helen Warner...
Helen: Don't blame Tony...he gets that way a lot.
Richard: It seems you have to bring home the bacon now.
Helen: Yes...but I told Reverend Roberts about my dilemma and he makes sure I get some food for Tony.
Richard: Is he related to Oral Roberts.
Helen: Yes, but he doesn't want to reveal his first name.
Richard: I see...next we have Paul.
Paul: I now have to be at the house every Sunday...I might as well move back home...and I lost hours at my jobs...and my landlady threw some of my things away...
Richard: It sucks to be you, next we have Dustin...
Dustin: Don't mind Paul, he wants me fired from our radio show.
Richard: Why does he want to do that?
Dustin: Because I get on his nerves!
Paul: Shut Up!
Richard: Finally, we have Margaret...so I heard you had to put your cat Rita to sleep.
Margaret: Yes...she was a nice cat.
Richard: Why was she named Rita?
Margaret: because she was grey and white, like the cat Rita from Animaniacs.
Richard: I dunno what an Animaniacs is, but it sounds 90's...and speaking of which, from the TV Show Home Improvement...The Taylors!
The Taylors enter.
Richard: Now here's the bread-winner from The Taylors, Tim...you're also known as "The Tool Man".
Tim: That's right, I have a show called Tool Time, I'm the host, I use MORE POWER, I always eat my beans, and RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR!
Richard: I think I've seen the show...I really love that Al Guy.
Tim: UUH?
Richard: I think of him like Bob Vila.
Tim: Al? Oh yes...we ALL Love Al!
Richard: Next, we have graduate of Psychology from The University of Michigan...
Tony: (Off Camera) BOOOOO!
Richard: ...Jill Taylor! You deserve a hug...
Richard Hugs Jill
Jill: Thanks...I didn't realize you had an Ohioan on this show!
Tony: (Off Camera) Go Buckeyes!
Jill: Well...I am a graduate from The University of Michigan and I'm about to get a job in Chicago.
Richard: Sounds like you have it together. Next, we have the oldest son Bradley Michael Taylor.
Brad: Hello Richard, I play for the U.S. Men's team in soccer...we almost won the Gold Cup this year and we hope to be back in The World Cup in the year 2022.
Richard: It's in Qatar, isn't it?
Brad: Yep...I'm also gonna get married to Samantha Haynes real soon.
Richard: I wish you the best...next, we go to Randall Michael Taylor. I heard you went to Costa Rica for about a year.
Randy: Yep...I'm now a journalist in Chicago and I too may wanna settle-down with Lauren.
Richard: I wish for the best...and finally all dressed in black is Marcus Jason Taylor.
Mark: I just love Black...I also like Punk Rock and cooking...I even had a spot with Guy Fieri on his show. That was fun.
Richard: You also have a Black Belt in Karate.
Mark: Yep...I also teach Karate at a school just down my street. Detroit needs people who are self-defensive.
Richard: With that...let's play the feud!
Tim and Tony walk toward the main podium where Richard is at.
Richard: Okay, we surveyed 100 people and we got 7 answers up there...Name a type of Tool.
Tony Buzzes In.
Tony: The one I have in my pants!
Richard: Do I even wanna know?
Tony: Hey Timmy...maybe Markie may know that band Tool...
Tim: I think he does...
Richard: I dunno if it's up there, but...is it the tool that I won't mention?
BUZZ
Tony: WHAT?
Richard: I think they may mean a tool like a hammer, wrench, something like that...Tim...Name a type of Tool.
Tim: Since you mentioned one...A Hammer!
Richard: Okay...Show Me Hammer!
25 People Said "Hammer", It's the #1 Answer.
Richard: Okay Tim, will your family Pass or Play?
Tim: We're gonna Play! RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR!
Tony: And I Just Passed...I Had Beans Last Night...OOH...Smells Like Flint, Michigan!
Richard: Okay...let's get away from him...Jill...Name a type of Tool.
Jill: How about a wrench? Just Like (starts to sing) Amazing Wrench, How Sweet Thy Sound...
Richard: Careful...we may lose some viewers...okay, is wrench up there?
24 people said "wrench", it's the #2 answer
Richard: Okay Brad...Name a type of tool.
Brad: I'm gonna say...screwdriver.
Richard: Is there a screwdriver up there?
20 people said "Screwdriver", It's the #3 Answer
Richard: Randy...Name a type of Tool.
Randy: I'm gonna say...Ratchet.
Richard: Is a ratchet up there?
5 People said "Ratchet", It's the #6 Answer.
Richard: Mark...Name a type of tool.
Mark: I used this a few times...a saw!
Richard: You look like you would use a saw, so let's see...saw!
20 people said "Saw", It's the #4 answer.
Richard: We now go back to Tim...now...Name a Type of Tool....
Tim: A Binford Product That Does Everything...Heidi...Bring Me My Big Binford!
Heidi Walks-In with a Binford Tool
Heidi: Here You Go Tim.
Tim: Thank You Heidi!
Tony: (Off-Camera) Oh Heidi-Ho!
Heidi: You Wish...
Heidi walks-out.
Tim: Now This Is A Toll Everyone Should Have Because It Has...MORE POWER! RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRR!
Richard: Give Me...Whatever That Thing Tim Has....
BUZZ
Tim: UUH?
Richard: I'm Sorry...But They Didn't Count That! Warners, do you have an answer for the steal?
The Warners debate whether a drill or awl should be the answer for the steal.
Paul bangs the gavel that he got from Harry Stone ofNight Court.
Paul: Can You Just Listen To Me For One Second...The answer is "Awl"!
Tony: What the **** is an awl?
Paul: It's like a screwdriver, but you use it if you wanna nail something like a picture.
Tony: I'm gonna say...a drill...I'll take the consequence!
Richard: A Drill...okay...is drill up there?
5 people said "Drill", It's the #5 answer.
Richard: Then...what was the final answer?
1 person said "Awl" It's the #7 answer
Richard: We now must say goodbye to the Taylors...
Jill: A Binford Tool...You're Pathetic!
Tim: Hey Tone...wanna go to Big Mike's after this?
Tony: I Don't Think So, Tim!
Richard: It's only because he's an Ohioan...now...who's gonna play Fast Money?
Everyone but Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is! Paul Is!
Paul walks toward Richard Dawson.
Paul: I have to do this every game!
Richard: Look...you have a chance to win $20,000...if you don't stump our judges. Now let's get 15 seconds up there!
:15 is seen.
Richard: The clock starts when I end the first question...Name a noisy bird...
Paul: A Puffin!
BUZZ
Richard: Name a place in the house...
Paul: The Mud Room!
BUZZ
Richard: Name an American Artist...
Paul: Maxfield Parrish!
BUZZ
Richard: Name a type of cheese...
Paul: Casu Marzu!
BUZZ
Richard: Name a type of tree.
Paul: Manchineel Tree!
BUZZ
Richard: Again...you stumped our judges, but I wouldn't feel that bad...you get to try again tomorrow as we play Sitcom Family Feud!