Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke:
F Troop just wouldn't be the same without the Old Man, sir.

Captain Wilton Parmenter:
What Old Man?

Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke:
Why, you, sir. You're the Old Man.

Captain Wilton Parmenter:
That's right. I keep forgetting I'm the Old Man around here.

Corporal Randolph Agarn: How do you get to Fort Courage? That's easy. You take a right at the rock that looks like a bear, then a left at the bear that looks like a rock.

Agarn: "I'm afraid the captain's reputation precedes him."

Wilton Parmenter: "I fall down a lot."

Wrangler Jane: "You can bet a bucket of buzzards we will."

Agarn: "Indians ain't supposed to drink alcohol?"

Agarn: "AND GET THE STILL FIXED!!"

O'Rourke: "That's because I'm smarter than the U.S. Army."

Royce: "No man is ever too busy to talk to a beautiful lady."

CWE: "We faint a lot."

Agarn: "Sergeant O'Rourke is the only one who reads smoke."

Agarn: "I'm very sensitive around my ears."

O'Rourke: "...we'll sell a combination peace pipe and bubble pipe."

O'Rourke: "Marinated corn cob."

Chief Wild Eagle:
Hekawi not fighters! Hekawi lovers!

Dobbs: "(to Parmenter)"I'm a failure, sir. You deserve a better company bugler."

CWE: (to O'Rourke)"Since we have you for partner, Heckowis eating high off the buffalo."

CWE: "Him not only have feathers around head, but a few inside, too."

CWE: "Bald Eagle not turn soldier."

Bald Eagle: "Paleface speak with fork tongue."

CWE: "His mother spoil him rotten."

O'Rourke: "If I were you I'd put him up for adoption."

CWE: "Where did I go wrong?"

Bald Eagle: "Shoes only for soldier dogs!"

CWE: "And I begged him to marry a nice Indian girl."

Chief Wild Eagle: [when asked how the Hekawi got their name] Many moons ago tribe move west because Pilgrims ruin neighborhood. Tribe travel west, over country and mountains and wild streams, then come big day... tribe fall over cliff, that when Hekawi get name. Medicine man say to my ancestor, "I think we lost.

Jane: "If that don't beat a busted tom tom."

Agarn: "Either untie me or put an apple in my mouth!"

Wrangler Jane:
Wilton Parmenter!

Agarn: "Besides, I keep tellin' ya. Indians ain't supposed to drink!"
Chief Wild Eagle: "Paleface propaganda! Indian drink before white man!"
Agarn: "You did?"

Parmenter: "I see you haven't unloaded the parts for the hot water heater yet."

CWE: "Him one cuckoo medicine man."

Agarn: "...does that stuff have a kick!"

Cpl. Randolph Agarn:
I gotta get out of here, my blood pressure's ready to pop!

Agarn: "I'm warning you, Dobbs."

Chief Wild Eagle:
Hekawis very brave warriors, except for one thing...

Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke:
What's that?

Chief Wild Eagle:
We *faint* a lot.