Warm & Fuzzy
06-15-2002, 09:20 PM
SOME of this is true. ;)
-----------------------------------------
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that
this means Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the
Empire State
Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about "the
best" way to get from
Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday
before a long weekend,
but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
5. The subway makes sense.
6. The subway should never be called anything prissy,
like the Metro.
7. You believe that being able to swear at people in
their own language
makes you multilingual.
8. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying
"The Big Apple."
9. Your door has more than three locks.
10. The most frequently used part of your car is the
horn.
11. You consider eye contact an act of overt
aggression.
12. You call an 8-by-10-foot plot of patchy grass a
yard.
13. You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Wapner.
14. You think Central Park is "nature."
15. You see nothing odd about the speed of an
auctioneer's speaking.
16. You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a
walk-in closet and you
think it's a "steal."
17. You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly
lost both times.
18. You pay more each month to park your car than most
people in the U.S.
pay in rent.
19. You haven't seen more than 12 stars in the night
sky since you went away
to camp as a kid.
20. You go to dinner at 9pm and head out to the clubs
when most Americans
are heading to bed.
21. Your closet is filled with black clothes.
22. You haven't heard the sound of true absolute
silence since 1977, and
when you did it terrified you.
23. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost
the bar 28 cents.
24. You take fashion seriously.
25. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
26. You have 27 different menus next to your
telephone.
27. Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."
28. America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to
you.
29. You have jaywalking down to an art form.
30. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually
nice to you.
31. You haven't cooked a meal since helping mom last
Thanksgiving.
32. You take a taxi to get to your health club to
exercise.
33. Your idea of personal space is no one actually
standing on your toes.
34. $50 worth of groceries fits in one paper bag.
35. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever"
stories.
36. You don't hear sirens anymore.
37. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the
city's air quality and
what it's doing to your lungs.
38. You live in a building with a larger population
than most American
towns.
39. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean,
your deli man is
Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry
guy is Chinese, your
favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner
is Greek, the
watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last
cabbie was Pakistani,
your newsstand guy is Indian, and your favorite
falafel guy is Egyptian.
-----------------------------------------
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that
this means Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the
Empire State
Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about "the
best" way to get from
Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday
before a long weekend,
but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
5. The subway makes sense.
6. The subway should never be called anything prissy,
like the Metro.
7. You believe that being able to swear at people in
their own language
makes you multilingual.
8. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying
"The Big Apple."
9. Your door has more than three locks.
10. The most frequently used part of your car is the
horn.
11. You consider eye contact an act of overt
aggression.
12. You call an 8-by-10-foot plot of patchy grass a
yard.
13. You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Wapner.
14. You think Central Park is "nature."
15. You see nothing odd about the speed of an
auctioneer's speaking.
16. You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a
walk-in closet and you
think it's a "steal."
17. You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly
lost both times.
18. You pay more each month to park your car than most
people in the U.S.
pay in rent.
19. You haven't seen more than 12 stars in the night
sky since you went away
to camp as a kid.
20. You go to dinner at 9pm and head out to the clubs
when most Americans
are heading to bed.
21. Your closet is filled with black clothes.
22. You haven't heard the sound of true absolute
silence since 1977, and
when you did it terrified you.
23. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost
the bar 28 cents.
24. You take fashion seriously.
25. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
26. You have 27 different menus next to your
telephone.
27. Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."
28. America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to
you.
29. You have jaywalking down to an art form.
30. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually
nice to you.
31. You haven't cooked a meal since helping mom last
Thanksgiving.
32. You take a taxi to get to your health club to
exercise.
33. Your idea of personal space is no one actually
standing on your toes.
34. $50 worth of groceries fits in one paper bag.
35. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever"
stories.
36. You don't hear sirens anymore.
37. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the
city's air quality and
what it's doing to your lungs.
38. You live in a building with a larger population
than most American
towns.
39. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean,
your deli man is
Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry
guy is Chinese, your
favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner
is Greek, the
watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last
cabbie was Pakistani,
your newsstand guy is Indian, and your favorite
falafel guy is Egyptian.