(Ralph is looking in the ads to see a company that can do his taxes. It is April 14th.)

Alice: "Ralph, what did I tell you about procastinating?"

Ralph: "Don't start with me Alice. Just don't. You know I haven't had time to do my Income Tax early this year. After all, I am a very, very, very busy man. If I'm not working, I am either out bowling, shooting pall, going to the lodge, playing skeeball, or watching TV with Norton upstairs."

(Alice rolls her eyes.)

Ralph: "Do you know how hard it is to do these taxes? One question here is seventy-five words long and I blew a fuse in my brain trying to figure it out. Do you know what happens if I blow a fuse in my brain? I can't eat. Then, you know what I will look like?"

Alice: "Yeah, a human being."

Ralph: "Oooooooooooh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot."

Alice: "Why didn't you get someone to do it for you?"

Ralph: "And admit that I don't know? Who am I going to get at this late hour in the night? Here I am under a lot of angst. How do I get these taxes done?"

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph?"

Ralph: "Hi Norton!"

Ed: "I see that you are doing your taxes."

Ralph: "Yes, I am stressing out over this."

Ed: "There is no need for you to stress over this. You got to chin up and smile. You got to say that you are not going to be sent to the federal pen. You got to have confidence in yourself. Just breathe in and out."

(Ralph breathes in and out.)

Ralph: "I am feeling better already Norton. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I will go get someone at H&R Block right now. How did you learn this Norton?"

Ed: "Very simple Ralph. I got my taxes done on Jan.1."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)