Gilbero Rodriguez:
Why didn't you come to my hotel?

Chico:
Why didn't you come to my fourth birthday party? Or my fourteenth? Or my twenty-fourth?

Chico:
That would be like the Six Million Dollar Man finding out that he’s down to a buck and a quarter.

(I may not have it exactly right, but that line has always stuck with me.)

Althea Nelson:
It's my sister's birthday, and I want to surprise her.

Ed Brown:
You want to surprise her? Don't invite her to the party!